analyze this girl

[papertowel]

Unfortunately I just deleted the emails, so I can't quote them exactly, but basically:

4 months ago I met a very fine, beach-blond, tan, gorgeous girl. We're both 18. We started immediately flirting, and I just figureed she was a fun person but I wouldn't see her much. She called me up a day later and asked me if I felt anything for her. I was surprised, but answered, "sure." What did I have to lose? A little sudden, but not neccessarily unwelcome. Then she admitted she felt something for me. Shes been going steady with a guy in New Zealand for 2 years.

I found this out, knew it couldn't go anywhere with her, so I stopped. She kept on though, flirting when I would not, and always asking me if I liked her. And if I did, why. I got the idea, and basically told her that if she were single, i would go for her. If not, no way. So she began to tell me about her terrible relationship with her boyfriend, and that she was going to break up with him. I fell for it. We hung out, talked on the phone, emailed, but never actually started going out. I figured, as soon as she frees herself, then I can move in. Not so. She was schedueled for a missions trip to NZ for a year. She insisted she was not going to see her boyfriend while there. I thought that unlikely. Still, I believed her. She had me going pretty good, with both of us saying before parting, "I'll wait for you." I cringe when I think of it.

I wrote her some mushy emails while she was gone. <---Mistake. Then, of course, I got the Big One, an email thats like, a MB in size, explaining how her boyfriend had changed and is so wonderful, how we should just be friends, how she "feels really independant right now and doesn't want that to change" and that "I'm sorry if I've hurt you but that was not my intention," and "I'm sorry, but I DO have a boyfriend, and I have to be faithful to him, just like you would want me to be for you if we were going out" and that "I really care for you as a person, and I don't want that to change!" and again, "I'm REALLY sorry if I've hurt, you, but you know me, and I'm not that type of person to hurt somebody!"

Ok! Of course I felt bad. But, I got rejected before anything even started, so I didn't mean as much as it could have. It did take me a couple days to write in reply. When I did finally clear my mind to write, I discovered another e-mail in my box. One with a title of "???" Apparently, I didn't answer fast enough, and she assumed I was never going to answer. Her e-mail went along the lines of, "Wow! And I thought we could really be friends!" Then I wrote a reply, assuring her that there were no problems between us, and that I trusted her to choose the right way. She answered with, "So then if you really trust me to make the right choices, then why do you sound so mad?? Like I said, 'I'm SORRY if I've hurt you!'" I thought this was odd, since my email had no tone of anger whatsoever. But...

Her missions trip ended early by chance. She came home, and promptly called me to say how wonderful her boyfriend was, and how much he had changed. I said I was glad for her. By this time, I was over it, and just wanted things to smooth out. I figured they would. I treated her exactly as I had known her before.

Just got an e-mail the other day. She asked why I was acting weird and trying to avoid her. She wanted to know because "I still care about you, (in a friendly way) so why are you avoiding me??" I wasn't avoiding her. She sent 2 emails, one right on the tail of the other, giving me less than 24 hours to answer the first. The 2nd said, basically, "You still haven't explained why you're avoiding me!! And I really thought someday that we could be friends !! You know I wouldn't hurt you intentionally, (I told her 3 times I wasn't hurt) because I'm not that type of girl! Because I really care about people, I don't throw away friendships, and that's like what you're doing. .If you knew me you would know I wouldn't do that! I''m saying this because I CARE about our friendship! If you can do one thing, PLEASE at least tell me if you still have feelings for me. I need to know. If you don't answer, then I'll know."


What do you think is going on in this girl's head?

 

[DIESEL]

who the fukk cares what is going on in this girls head !

the only facts that you need to know concerning this girl are:

1. you will not be fukkin' her in the forseeable future

2. THEREFORE, she is a waste of your time and energy.

3. THEREFORE, you blow off her email.. or if you actually have the patience and inclination to respond to this attention WHOR, just tell her you've got enough friends, and to have a nice life.

Simple enough?

Good.

D

 

[Kodiac]

Attention Wh0re.
NEXT

What do you think is going on in this girl's head?

She's female.

 

[matius]

papertowel.

she has you wrapped around her finger and you don't get none of the good stuff. she probably just used you for a minute when her boyfriend was acting like a lil bytch or an arsehole.

maybe she mentioned you a couple times to get the idiot jealous.

you should care less about what's going on in her mind than i do.

oh > we or most here have been through this same pathetic thought process with dishrag wh0res...it's alright. Just run...

 

[papertowel]

yep, you're right Matius. Obviously I was a throw away model for her pleasure.

And Kodiac, that is so true.

 

[Don Rageta]

This is exactly why guys can't afford to become emotional tampons to the ladies. Where did it come into men's heads that we can get a girl by allowing her to whine to us about her man problems. this has happened to the best of us. live and learn. the nice guy shyat will always get you LJBF'd. in the future do not let this happen. this is a classic case of... (everyone say it with me) Oneitis. in the future don't limit yourself, especially with a girl with as much baggage as this chick obviously had. take 3#'s and call me in the morning, doc

 

[violator]

There could not be a better example of the classic attention wh0re. When she first uttered the words, "Do you like me?" (womanize for "let me see how much of a chump you are") it should have been your first clue that she was up to no good.

Her patronizing you at the end is quite telling because she already assumed that you were head over heels for her so she was apologizing that there was no future for you and her. Also typical of the AW.

She is now trying to lure you into answering her silly little e-mails in an attempt to boost her ego and touch off an emotional reaction on your part. Don't fall in the trap. Even though it is quite apprent that you will not be seeing this girl anytime soon or never for that matter, at least keep your dignity and cut her off completely. This girl never did and never will have any interest in you.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Just to carry forward some of the other ideas here, ID the mistakes you made. Do a post mortem. You're pretty clear headed about this already and seem to have a sense of where it went wrong--I'd suggest that you want to really hammer it home by going over where you got played and how you contributed to it.

You'll be miles ahead the next time this comes around.

I'd suggest looking at all her "test" questions.
--Did you feel something for me?
--Do you like me?
--Why do you like me?

And the manipulations:
--I thought we could be friends! Why are you..?

ANSWERING these means she controls the flow here. It's her isssues being put on the table, her agenda, and she gets the results she wants.

And then look at the weaknesses of using phone and e-mail so prevalently---it provides ample oppty for you to make a mistake while having little up-side potential.

 

[WaterTiger]

If you can block this psyco chick's e-mails, do so! She is using you to keep her boyfriend in line. "Papertowel" does nice things for me! You better do nice things too, or else!" She is a user of the worst kind. She has NO respect for you. She is trying to get her way using that lovely face & body as a smoke screen to throw you off to her true nature.

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by DIESEL
who the fukk cares what is going on in this girls head !

the only facts that you need to know concerning this girl are:

1. you will not be fukkin' her in the forseeable future

2. THEREFORE, she is a waste of your time and energy.

3. THEREFORE, you blow off her email.. or if you actually have the patience and inclination to respond to this attention WHOR, just tell her you've got enough friends, and to have a nice life.

Simple enough?

Good.

D

That pretty much sums it up.

What you gotta love (read hate) about these kinds of b!tches is that they'll string you along, all the while letting you believe that something is/might happen between the two of you and then when you realize what is ACTUALLY going on, they try to throw a guilt trip on you. Don't fall for that sh!t. Move on with your life - don't let her guilt you into remaining "friends".

 

[Grey Fox]

Yeah definately an attention seeking, **** teasing, slut. Tell her that you got enough friends and that you don't care cause you meet someone hotter than her that doesn't have the personality of a cheesey soap-opera character.

-Grey Fox

 

[BobbDobbs]

I have a slightly different read. She is feeling guilty and she wants constant reaffirmation that no real injury was inflicted.

I see no need to "get even" with her by embellishing any pain. But you are certainly more than justified to tell her the truth, if you want.

But if you don't care to be friends (wise move) then just blow her off. You don't need to justify yourself for her bad behavior. The nerve!