analyze this convo with a chick

[pyros]

You sound like a needy little b*tch and losing her interest after barely a month ha. You should be starting to beat this b*tch off with a stick. Be more assertive. Tell her what you're doing, don't suggest it. If she doesn't want to come, do it yourself and withdraw attention. Stop giving a f*ck.

You should be building and picquing her interest over the next 5-6 months and running her little hamster to death leaving her no choice but to beg for commitment. She should be threatening to leave because you are uncatchable and cannot be tamed = gina tingles on a million and THEN you give in a little before she shuts down emotionally. Instead, you are killing it with smothering her and neediness when all you have to do it not f*ck up and be game persistent.

Recalibrate the frame. Work on your c&f and actually being aloof. You are letting her see that she can affect your emotions and frame by her being a typical woman. You need to be an oak tree in the face of a hurricane; not being thrown off her lack of enthusiasm about your SUGGESTION. This of course is only a testament to other parts of your game that are lacking. If you were doing it right, she'd be saying she'll do whatever as long as its with you.

yes you're right. In bold what I really liked.

See this, I think Ive done it pretty well. All of you seem to think that Im a AFC, calling her all the time or something, being needy etc, but it is not like that. The problem is that last Monday when I realised this sudden change in her IL it affected me a bit, becase it was totally unexpected.

We banged on Saturday, she wanted me to stay for the night...etc. On Sunday morning I left but she wanted us to go to the beach, but I wanted to go home.
And...then...next day, Monday, she did not seem, as I wrote in my original post, very excited to go to do anything with me, which I found strange.
So until last Monday it was all good and then it suddenly changed...why...? everybody here says because I did something wrong?, ok, I could have been more assertive when asking her out but the problem was that she was already changed, not me. Probably something happened, related to her ex bf to whom she still talks...and you know the story, I wrote about it. Even this guy's mother texts her, she told me this, and I asked why does his mother text you, and she replied I dont know, she wants us to get back together it seems.
I said that she should block them on whatsapp, but she doesnt want to, and this is a HUGE RED FLAG, and keeping her ex on her life is what is confusing her, and affecting my relationship with her, that is for sure.

So it does not really matter what I did, she was the one that was acting/feeling different.

Today I asked how her doctor appointment went, she said it was ok blah blah...asked me how I was doing, and then she said that she was going to the gym and to dance salsa, sent me kisses, and I just said good and sent her a kiss.

So thats it. Im gonna behave more aloof and indiferent. For example, Im not contacting her unless she does, and Im not gonna ask her out unless she does.

I believe this sudden change on her interest level is because of her ex, but what can I do? As I said Im gonna become a little less available, act more aloof and that is it.

This is what happens when you're seing a woman that still talks to her ex and has not erased him from her life. The thing is that I only want her as a FWB, but it annoys me that she keeps contact with her ex, gets confused...etc. but ok, whatever.

 

[Dgwizdal]

yes you're right. In bold what I really liked.

See this, I think Ive done it pretty well. All of you seem to think that Im a AFC, calling her all the time or something, being needy etc, but it is not like that. The problem is that last Monday when I realised this sudden change in her IL it affected me a bit, becase it was totally unexpected.

We banged on Saturday, she wanted me to stay for the night...etc. On Sunday morning I left but she wanted us to go to the beach, but I wanted to go home.
And...then...next day, Monday, she did not seem, as I wrote in my original post, very excited to go to do anything with me, which I found strange.
So until last Monday it was all good and then it suddenly changed...why...? everybody here says because I did something wrong?, ok, I could have been more assertive when asking her out but the problem was that she was already changed, not me. Probably something happened, related to her ex bf to whom she still talks...and you know the story, I wrote about it. Even this guy's mother texts her, she told me this, and I asked why does his mother text you, and she replied I dont know, she wants us to get back together it seems.
I said that she should block them on whatsapp, but she doesnt do it, so this is a HUGE RED FLAG.

So it does not really matter what I did, she was the one that was acting/feeling different.

Today I asked how her doctor appointment went, she said it was ok blah blah...asked me how I was doing, and then she said that she was going to the gym and to dance salsa, sent me kisses, and I just said good and sent her a kiss.

So thats it. Im gonna behave more aloof and indiferent. For example, Im not contacting her unless she does, and Im not gonna ask her out unless she does.

I believe this sudden change on her interest level is because of her ex, but what can I do? As I said Im gonna become a little less available, act more aloof and that is it.

This is what happens when you're seing a woman that still talks to her ex and has not erased him from her life. The thing is that I only want her as a FWB, but it annoys me that she keeps contact with her ex, gets confused...etc. but ok, whatever.

Good thing to remember is that a woman's attitude is constantly changing and flowing regardless of IL. It is important not to get thrown off by this and keep composure: They are emotionally charged by forces out of your control at times and expect you to remain the rock. Do this and she will feel more like a woman because she is confident in your ability to be a man. The result will ALWAYS be an increase in attraction from her REGARDLESS of the forces spiking her emotions that are out of your control.

A possible decline in IL should only be addressed and confirmed when her attitude is reflecting it on a constant. Either way, there is ALWAYS room for improvement in your game. Reframe accordingly.

 

[sylvester the cat]

You're losing this girl, if you haven't already lost her .

Take the advice already given and have some self reflection else the same will happen with the next one and the one after that.

This ain't about the girls. It's about you.

 

[dasein]

Way too enmeshed, way too heavy at 1.5 months, suspect way too much contact is occuring as well. Why do you know all these heavy (actually trifling) problems at one month in? Why do you know anything other than how to make her come fast at this point? At this point you should still be...

Keep your dating life binary, keep yourself sane. At this time, you should be only -calling- or contacting at all to set up the next face to face. She's treating you like a shoe salesman trying to sell her this or that shoe because she can, because she knows she's got you. You call up, have a date plan that is hopefully active and not boring, and convenient to go back and f her after. Do the plan and then you leave. If she says no twice in a row, on to next.

Whatever you do, don't pout and whine at her or at any other woman, that dries the cooch up fast. If she doesn't want your plan, don't whine and wheedle something else, say "cool, will be in touch" and then you are gone until you call her a few days later with the next plan.

All you should care about right now is 1. Is it still fun to bang this girl? 2. Are you having fun overall? All the rest is noise at this point or too much involvement. I have a hunch this one's done, but maybe possible to salvage if you shape up fast.

 

[_sideways_]

I actually loved reading this. It shows you could be doing everything right up to the point where ur creating regular great sex and then u become booty blinded.

the best part was when the o.p. Said that we think he's being AFC but he swears he's not.
no offense but it goes to show that u need to be on DJ mode constant. Where's the other side dishes? Where's the other hobbies?

she should be the one calling him right as she's leaving the doctors office. She's casually separating herself emotionally. This is a suicide mission...abort asap.

I see too much worrying about a women who isn't the mother of my babies type of scene.

on a side note.. I love it after 2 months of straight screwing and what not when the chick leaves me alone. It means I can get back to my life. My nights out, my bros, my family, my debauchery, my new girls I haven't met yet.....etc.

 

[pyros]

btw, isnt it funy how many ppl here in sosuave when the woman shows any signn of disinterest they automatically say that you've lost her?

This is the sosuave syndrom. Well this and when a woman doesnt text you back once, or is busy once, many ppl here automatically say she is for sure banging another dude.

Kind of funy. Some ppl get paranoid when reading some of the responses here. lol.

 

[sylvester the cat]

btw, isnt it funy how many ppl here in sosuave when the woman shows any signn of disinterest they automatically say that you've lost her?

what's funny is how you're so confident that you haven't lost her that you felt the need to come on a discussion forum to ask strangers to analyze a private conversation you had with your missus.

even funnier when everyone gives you their opinion which you asked for that you then accuse them of confused sosuave groupthink.

 

[Kailex]

btw, isnt it funy how many ppl here in sosuave when the woman shows any signn of disinterest they automatically say that you've lost her?

This is the sosuave syndrom. Well this and when a woman doesnt text you back once, or is busy once, many ppl here automatically say she is for sure banging another dude.

Kind of funy. Some ppl get paranoid when reading some of the responses here. lol.

You know that guy who posts a story and asks for advice and then says that everyone is wrong and that they don't know the full situation? (Mostly because of the failure to accurately describe the situation as well) You know that guy who goes on and on with posts and fails to see the situation for what it is and tells everyone else that he voluntarily asked that they are wrong in their opinion/assessment?

You're that guy right now.

Hey, just keep doing what you're doing then, because it's obviously working.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

yes you're right. In bold what I really liked.

See this, I think Ive done it pretty well. All of you seem to think that Im a AFC, calling her all the time or something, being needy etc, but it is not like that. The problem is that last Monday when I realised this sudden change in her IL it affected me a bit, becase it was totally unexpected.

We banged on Saturday, she wanted me to stay for the night...etc. On Sunday morning I left but she wanted us to go to the beach, but I wanted to go home.
And...then...next day, Monday, she did not seem, as I wrote in my original post, very excited to go to do anything with me, which I found strange.
So until last Monday it was all good and then it suddenly changed...why...? everybody here says because I did something wrong?, ok, I could have been more assertive when asking her out but the problem was that she was already changed, not me. Probably something happened, related to her ex bf to whom she still talks...and you know the story, I wrote about it. Even this guy's mother texts her, she told me this, and I asked why does his mother text you, and she replied I dont know, she wants us to get back together it seems.
I said that she should block them on whatsapp, but she doesnt want to, and this is a HUGE RED FLAG, and keeping her ex on her life is what is confusing her, and affecting my relationship with her, that is for sure.

So it does not really matter what I did, she was the one that was acting/feeling different.

Today I asked how her doctor appointment went, she said it was ok blah blah...asked me how I was doing, and then she said that she was going to the gym and to dance salsa, sent me kisses, and I just said good and sent her a kiss.

So thats it. Im gonna behave more aloof and indiferent. For example, Im not contacting her unless she does, and Im not gonna ask her out unless she does.

I believe this sudden change on her interest level is because of her ex, but what can I do? As I said Im gonna become a little less available, act more aloof and that is it.

This is what happens when you're seing a woman that still talks to her ex and has not erased him from her life. The thing is that I only want her as a FWB, but it annoys me that she keeps contact with her ex, gets confused...etc. but ok, whatever.

If you just want her as a f-buddy then you can't say sh*t or even give 2 shts who she's talking to. FWB don't ask about how there day was or even do dinner dates, walks around the block or to the beach. You meet up & f*ck that's it pretty much, get down to business and bang it out. 1-2 times a month tops you take them out, that's if they even want to?! ONETIS, you have been on this sit for 3 years now! How do you not see this?

 

[pyros]

See this, Ive had a few FWB and with all of them I had to kind of 'date' them. I have not met any girl that, as some of you suggest here, who liked to be called just to fuc-k. So you need to go to watch a movie, to have dinner etc, and you fuc-k at the end...thats pretty much it.


Anyway, what annoys me is that this girl said that she wanted something more than just sex, and now after 9 dates, she suddenly does not seem interested, she just turned 180 degrees, and this is Im sure because of her exbf, because several dates ago she told me they still talk, text and that he wanted to get back together and that she was confused. They broke up 3 months before I met her.

Before last Monday she wanted us to go on a little trip, she texted me everyday or every two days...etc...and now nothing. This is what annoys me.

Last Friday and Saturday she was hugging me, begging me to stay, to go to the beach...we fuc-ked several times, she was very happy etc. Then on Monday she did not seem excited about seing me. On Tuesday I texted her cause she had a doctor's appoinment, here is the convo:

me: hi there! how did your appoinment with the doctor go?
her: hi! well, I have to get some blood tests, but Im ok, what about you?
me: I just went to the beach and now I gotta study...
her: hahaha, ok take it easy! Im going to the gym and then to dance salsa, see you! XOXO
me: ok :*

That was on Tuesday, yesterday she did not contact me and nothing for now.
It is not that I'd like her to text me everyday, or that Id like to contact her everyday, it is that she was doing this, and now all of a sudden she just stopped; this change is what annoys me.


I may contact her tomorrow but Im not sure. If she has gotten together with her ex, there is nothing I can do, but... any suggestions?

 

[pyros]

its been two days with no contact.

On Monday she texted me, we did not seem to agree on what to do and she did not seem very excited so we did nothing.
On Tuesday I texted her to ask for her doctor's appoinment.
Wednesday nothing.
Thursday nothing.

4 days, no dates. Before last Monday she wanted to see me every one or two days, and she texted me every other day...

Suggestions?

 

[Kailex]

Suggestion:

Thursday: You don't text
Friday: You don't text
Saturday: You don't text
Sunday: You don't text

See the pattern here? Just keep doing that from now on and you should be fine.

 

[pyros]

Suggestion:

Thursday: You don't text
Friday: You don't text
Saturday: You don't text
Sunday: You don't text

See the pattern here? Just keep doing that from now on and you should be fine.

I understand that you think she lost all her IL....she may have gotten back with her ex, but I dont know it, I just suspect it.

It just pisses me off that all of a sudden she ignores me. After having a great time together, after she wanting to take pictures together, after inviting me over to her place, etc etc...wtf?

I will just text her tomorrow to see whats up, maybe something happened to her? probably not but...
If she doesnt wanna meet up or something, Ill just forget about her.

 

[TheGambino]

Why would u next her omg. Just keep everything on your terms and enjoy the fvcking thats it.

 

[pyros]

update, negative update, but whatever:

so as I wrote, we were doing great until one week ago when she suddenly stopped talking, texting, contacting me. After a few days I texted her, had some chitchat, I asked if her ex bf was still around, she said that she still had feelings and did not want to hurt him (yeah sure, this is why you met me 9 times, and had sex twice).

I said that since she was confused, we should part ways, and once she felt fine, she should contact me again. She replied that she was confused but she would like to keep seing me. Ok, I said lets meet this Saturday, but she said that she had the whole weekend busy (red flag), but...(silly bitc-h) that we should meet on Monday. Alright, we set a cinema date for Monday.

She did not contact me during the weekend (red flag again, because before her sudden change of interest, she contacted me during the week). Today I texted her to tell her which movie etc, and sHE SAID THAT SHE WANTS TO BE ALONE BUT WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS. lmao. I replied that Im not interested in being friends and that she should contact me when she changes her mind.


Silly, stupid, confusing bit-ch. This is what happends when you meet a girl that just broke up with her ex a few months ago, and they still talk to each other. First time it happends to me.
Two weeks ago, she was having secs with me, planing a little trip together, hugging and kissing me in front of her friends, telling me: "you know, I do not invite every guy to my place" blah blah; she wanted to go to dance with me, she said she wanted to go to her village to spend the night together...BUT SHE WAS STILL TALKING TO HER EX, being confused...etc, and now she wants to be 'alone'.

Anyway I could keep her as a FWB besides what I did already? (telling her to contact me onces she changes her mind)

 

[Kailex]

It sounds like you are better off moving on. It doesn't seem like you know how to separate the physical from the emotional just yet.

She should be the one texting you to see where you were and not the other way around.

NEXT.

Read this again.
Seriously... she LJBFed you and you are asking if you can keep her as a FWB? Really? That's what you guys were and she just LJBFed you. What's so special about her that you just can't walk away?

You don't know how to play it cool with her. Go find someone else who isn't so hung up on her ex-boyfriend.

All you had to do was play it cool, not be so pushy about plans, and let things fall into place... you failed at that as time went on. Learn from this and MOVE ON.

 

[pyros]

Read this again.
Seriously... she LJBFed you and you are asking if you can keep her as a FWB? Really? That's what you guys were and she just LJBFed you. What's so special about her that you just can't walk away?

You don't know how to play it cool with her. Go find someone else who isn't so hung up on her ex-boyfriend.

All you had to do was play it cool, not be so pushy about plans, and let things fall into place... you failed at that as time went on. Learn from this and MOVE ON.

excuse me? I failed at what...?

Everything was going fine until she suddenly changed. It just happened from Sunday (everything good in the morning, I said bye and left her house). Sunday evening she texted me, then Monday morning she did not feel like agreing on what to do because her IL already vanished bc of her ex probably. Something happened between Sunday evenning and Monday midday. I was a bit pushy that Monday, but nothing serious, and nothing that would make her go from "you're a cool guy and I want to have secs with you" to "oh, you were a bit pushy today, now I dont wanna see you again".

Besides, last Friday I texted her since she had been silent for three days. She said she was still confused etc, so I NEXTED HER, but she said that she wanted to keep seing me. Then in the afternoon she said that we could meet at some salsa club but I already had made plans. I said: "well you can join me and my friends" and she replied: "yeah, well, I cant cause Im going to dance with my two best girlfriends, its a pity..."
We agreed to meet today Monday, she kept this weekend silent...and today SHE NEXTED ME, lmao.

Sure I can forget about her, but it annoys me cause she is a cool girl and she seemed very keen on me.

P.S.
Its funy because the first time I asked her out some months ago, she replied that she was very busy with her master. Ok, I forgot about her, but I saw her some days later making out with a guy (maybe her ex again?). Then, three months later she bumped into me in a club and wanted to meet me for a coffee and said she had a lot of free time; and now that she does not want to continue she says the same, that she prefers to focus on her master (she has to finish it by the 25th of June) and wants to be alone, hah! almost the same excuse than the first time.

 

[Die Hard]

I just took a look at your other threads about this girl and must say you've been setting yourself up for trouble from the beginning.

There were red flags from the beginning, man, you know that. You just chose to give her the benefit of the doubt and kept developing the "relationship" with her...in effect, developing your emotional bond to her. Now the sh!t finally hits the fan HARD and it messes you up because you didn't keep your emotions under control with a girl who was showing red flags from the beginning.

Again and again we fall for the same fvcking trap and won't learn from it, I must admit that goes for myself as well (with the hot girls, anyway... The mediocre ones, I can handle).


As human beings we automatically apply the following ideas when we're interacting with other human beings:

* People are innocent until proven guilty
* People deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt

This is normal, right? When one of your colleagues at work goes to the boss and says you stole something from him, the boss is gonna give you the benefit of the doubt, he's not just gonna believe the other guy and treat you like you're guilty, right? You deserve the benefit of the doubt and you will be regarded innocent until there is proof that you're guilty.

This is normal human behavior, it is the way we should interact with each other, it is how society functions. If people would do the opposite, we would all be goddamn sociopaths and our society would be a very sick one... There wouldn't even BE a society, we would all be living like fvcking cavemen...

NEVERTHELESS, when we, as men, interact with women, we have to let go of these principals and turn them around!!

* Women are GUILTY until proven INNOCENT!
* Women DO NOT deserve the benefit of the doubt!

Oh, and everything women say is A LIE, until you see proof that it's not...

 

[Kailex]

excuse me? I failed at what...?

Really? You can't reread this thread and figure it out by now?

Everything was going fine until she suddenly changed.

And the fact that you didn't listen to the advice given here and follow through with it was your biggest downfall as well.

It just happened from Sunday (everything good in the morning, I said bye and left her house). Sunday evening she texted me, then Monday morning she did not feel like agreing on what to do because her IL already vanished bc of her ex probably.

It's not ALL on her ex, part of this was on you. Go revisit that conversation, it's CRINGEWORTHY.
Failure.

She didn't agree with you on what to do but she gave you an option and you didn't want to take it after you pushing the same option dressed differently three times.

Something happened between Sunday evenning and Monday midday. I was a bit pushy that Monday, but nothing serious, and nothing that would make her go from "you're a cool guy and I want to have secs with you" to "oh, you were a bit pushy today, now I dont wanna see you again".

Um, sometimes that's all it takes. Maybe she did talk to the ex in that time and she felt something but you being pushy at the SAME TIME probably tipped the scales in her favor. Once you pushed the first option out there and she didn't want to take it, you had to pull back but you kept insisting. It's pushy. I don't care how you see it... it's how she saw it at that time that matters.

Besides, last Friday I texted her since she had been silent for three days.

And what was said here? DON'T TEXT HER.
So what do you do? TEXT HER.
More failure.

She said she was still confused etc, so I NEXTED HER, but she said that she wanted to keep seing me.

You obviously didn't NEXT her if you gave in to her demand of continuing to see you. Of course she is going to say that, she wants her orbiter around. So you gave in.
More failure.

Then in the afternoon she said that we could meet at some salsa club but I already had made plans. I said: "well you can join me and my friends" and she replied: "yeah, well, I cant cause Im going to dance with my two best girlfriends, its a pity..."
We agreed to meet today Monday, she kept this weekend silent...and today SHE NEXTED ME, lmao.

Of course, she's going to do it on her terms, not yours. Honestly, she had nexted you a while ago. You just didn't see it yet.

Sure I can forget about her, but it annoys me cause she is a cool girl and she seemed very keen on me.

VERY cool. I can see how cool she is.

P.S.
Its funy because the first time I asked her out some months ago, she replied that she was very busy with her master. Ok, I forgot about her, but I saw her some days later making out with a guy (maybe her ex again?). Then, three months later she bumped into me in a club and wanted to meet me for a coffee and said she had a lot of free time; and now that she does not want to continue she says the same, that she prefers to focus on her master (she has to finish it by the 25th of June) and wants to be alone, hah! almost the same excuse than the first time.

Can you just move on by now?
Seriously. This whole thread is a testament to how stubborn one man can be about a girl who is CLEARLY not worth it.

Save yourself the trouble. STOP TEXTING her.

 

[pyros]

Kailex, you''re right in several things, I agree.

But what I meant is that,...ok, I waas not hat pushy on the phone (cause actually that conversation was on the phone), I just said lets go do X, she did not feel like it, then I suggested two variations to that...she did not agree...
but the thing is that she already had changed her mind by then. Yes, she gave me another option, but I did not feel like doing that. If she had been 'normal' we would have agreed on something but she was not really cooperating, you know? I found it weird that she did not agree right off the bat like in previous times.

Anyway, after three days of her being silent I decided to text her, you know why? because I already knew her IL had vanished, so it did not really matter whether I texted her or if I kept silent as well. So I just wanted to confirm it. You may think that if I had kept silent this could have increased her IL? well, maybe...but I think it was already doomed.
She went from wanting to see me everyday, hug me, kiss me, take pics with me, having secs with me...to nothing in one day. And this is what happens when someone still has feelings for their ex, and decide to get back together.

I said to her that since she was confused we should stop seing each other (in a funy way), but she said that she wanted to keep seing me, 'dating', or however you wanna call it. But.... then... on Monday... she said what she said...LJBF, Im still very confused (ie Im going back to my ex).

The point is that if she had not been confused because of her ex, if I had not been a rebound, she would have agreed that Monday, and we would have kept seing each other.

Whatever...I'm not contacting her anymore. If she went from wanting to do everything with me, to wanting nothing to do with me in one day, she can go enjoy her ex.

And, its funy how a girl breaks up with her bf, or he breaks up with her...they keep talking but not seing each other...she has secs with another guy, 'dates' him, and then she decides to go back to her ex. Good for the dude! your now girlfriend again was fuc-king another guy one week ago... lol.