Analysis of a flake text

[Thundernuts]

she has just whatsapped me telling me how I was in her dream last night. Anyone who has read Freud would be familiar with his theory of dream 'wish-fulfillment'. Or it could be just another ploy to break radio silence.

It's a ploy, Especially if she goes into great detail about it and all that, don't fall for that crap one minute every girl who has ever told me they dream about me have all ended up seeing other guys on the side. I'm just saying my Attention-h0r radar is going off and from everything else I'd say don't get your hopes up on this one I give it another 2 weeks tops she is gonna disapear

 

[sylvester the cat]

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[teebear]

I think you're over-analysing and over-playing as well planning when you're gonna reply, what you're gonna say...and following some kind of evil strategy.

No such a big deal. She has to "babysit"? ok, forget about making plans with her that night and go do something else. You're not gonna sit there and wait for her to text you, wtf? just see her on another day. Fixed.

Then, on another day ask her out again or wait for her to ask you out. If she wants to see you, she will contact you. If she starts to flake with certain regularity you should next her and spend your energy on something else instead of sitting and trying to do the best strategy to get "revenge".

Do not over-think, do not make DJ strategies. If you see something is off, focus on another woman, another friend, another hobby and forget about this pain in the ass.

I agree with you. It's crazy how much overthinking and strategizing goes on around here. Give the girl the benefit of the doubt and if it still doesn't work out after a couple of weeks, move on.

It has been said many times already: a woman who likes you won't confuse you.

 

[sylvester the cat]

.............

 

[pyros]

it seems she's playing games, and it seems you keep overanalysing everything and getting obssessed gradually...

 

[sylvester the cat]

................

 

[teebear]

really? if that is the case then what do men need game for?

the nature of this thread is for educational purposes for guys who want to know how to deal with girls who flake or throw out sht tests so there is going to be a lot of analyses going on here.

I'm starting to see a big difference between "having game" and "playing games". A lot of stuff I read around here seems to support trying to CONVINCE women through words and behaviour of our value versus actually HAVING that value and it being self-evident. All this analysis of "what I said" and "what I did" will just drive a person crazy. I know - I went through it for months myself while I was simply lurking here and trying to absorb everything I read. It was not fun.

If a girls flakes for a legitimate reason yet still likes you then you have nothing to worry about. You will find a way to get together again. If a woman's attraction to you is so weak that she makes excuses to avoid you or causes her to be unable to overcome her doubts about you then you are done. So much effort seems to go into pulling and maintaining women whose interest level is middling at best. Stick to women whose interest level is high to begin with and you're in business.

We snicker at fatties because they say "give me a chance and you will see my inner beauty!!" yet so much of gaming a woman seems to be equivalent behaviour. At the core, it's needy behaviour and nobody needs to be reminded why that's a bad thing.

 

[teebear]

the girl has already given me her vagina. if she is playing games then she isn't very good at it.

i am approaching this as a scientist would approach a specimen. nothing more.

Two words: buyer's remorse.

Judge a woman by her actions, not her words. Don't get hung up on PAST actions, look at her CURRENT behaviour. There is your answer.

I re-read this thread and I think that you're still OK with this woman but I encourage you not to overthink the situation. Just ask her out again and if it works out - great. If not, at least you got laid.

 

[sylvester the cat]

I got off-track while answering the "why we need game" question. You'll notice that I corrected myself moments ago. I think that you're fine.

ok. no probs.

 

[teebear]

that would not be a problem if she hadn't:

rescheduled the date to Tuesday.
texted late last night.
texted today urging me to tell her when to meet.
broke radio silence talking about how i was in her dreams.

hardly avoidance behaviour. when people avoid they go silent.

have you read any of the posts in this thread?

I got off-track while answering the "why we need game" question. You'll notice that I corrected myself moments ago. I think that you're fine.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Good lord, man! I'm sorry, I'm sorry - I read this whole thing, along with all the responses it's gotten, and I'm sitting here shaking my head because you're making a BIG FRIGGIN' DEAL ABOUT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Simple rules of the game, man:

1. You don't ask new girls out on weekend dates - Fridays and Saturdays are reserved for people actually IN established relationships. Asking for one of these days beforehand sends a subtle message that you view her already as THE ONE, but she's not there yet because you've only been out on THREE dates with her (which equates to, what, less than 6 hours of time together total??)

2. You always give a girl at least 2 times to flake. The first time could be a fluke and/or a real excuse; the second time means it's a pattern. She hasn't flaked on you enough times for you to start throwing a hissy-fit about it - when she said she had to look after the godson, it could have (a) been a real excuse, (b) a blow off 'cause she's losing interest, or (c) a way for her to avoid a Saturday date with you since, as stated in #1, her feelings for you are not THAT intense yet for her to claim you as the BF. In either case, YOU DON'T KNOW YET, so you give her the benefit of the doubt on the first one and go about your business like it's not bothering you - because it SHOULDN'T.

3. If she counter-offers, that means she's STILL INTERESTED. She said she couldn't do Saturday, but then came back with "How about Tuesday?" Um... THAT MEANS SHE STILL HAS AN INTEREST IN SEEING YOU. You playing this whole game of "Well, I'll just reject her counter-offer so I can control the frame and increase her interest" is stupid because she's already showing the interest by throwing out the counter-offer. Otherwise, she would have just said "can't see you tonight, I'll let you know when I'm available again" and never gotten back to you.

In short: you're over-reacting to this whole thing. Maybe it's due to fear of losing this girl's interest, or failing, or whatever, but it's not necessary. She said she was free Tuesday? Great - you could have totally taken it and not been seen as a beta who she can control (which I'm SO sick of hearing about on this site). And again, you have to remember: SHE'S NOT THE GIRLFRIEND YET. It takes at least 3 months for her to build up her interest to that level, so in the meantime only ask her out for weekday stuff, until SHE'S the one suggesting you do something on a weekend - that's when you'll know her feelings are becoming more concrete. Hope this helps!

 

[sylvester the cat]

thats pretty much what is being said. nobody is throwing a hissy fit. but thank you for your input.

ps. the weekend was her idea. not mine

i'm deleting posts because i think someone is right when they say over analysing leads to obsession. this is not healthy.

 

[Dryden]

I'm sorry, I responded with depression, I guess it would have been better to soothe you / calm you down myself.

It's okay. There is no need to be writing texts at every possible opportunity. It would be better just to let it rest until you feel more at ease or more certain about what you want to write. Don't just respond because you think not responding will ruin things, it won't. That's all.

 

[sylvester the cat]

I had a 13 year old girl in love with me (seriously).

In the end she came back to me. .

http://cdn.memepix.com/images/large/3t3nc.gif

 

[Dryden]

I removed that text, but I'll let this one stand. You are actually responding from possessiveness (and also a bit of jealousy towards the "me doing stuff with 13 year olds" idea....) and so the proper response for me is fear (and grief), and this fear is below:

--
THAT's the only thing you respond to? Are you jealous? .

By the way not saying she and I ever met up. I was just harassing girls everywhere. I don't think I would have ever met her. Would have met some of her girlfriends though, but in a few years time . I don't think the world will stay the same. I except civil war in the USA in 3 years time.

Not that it matters all that much of course. I was just relating an experience, but there was no need for that, I was just being depressed in my response. So it's okay. See ya.

 

[VikingKing]

http://cdn.memepix.com/images/large/3t3nc.gif

top kek

on another note, you delete post because your drunk? Or am I projecting?

 

[Octogonal]

You always give a girl at least 2 times to flake.

so you can be a two time chump?

a blow off 'cause she's losing interest

With your 2x's flake advice he will get blown off again.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

so you can be a two time chump?




With your 2x's flake advice he will get blown off again.

See I disagree with this. I was talking with this woman, I invited her out 2 Thursday's ago on Monday, she said that would be cool, texted her back on Wednesday on where to meet and she never replied. Played it cool, no further texts. Texted her a week later and she responded and apologized for "blowing me off" and said that to be honest she was nervous about meeting me because I intimidate her. We exchanged a couple of more messages and I sent her a pic or two and we made plans for the following Thursday. Had a huge snowstorm which cancelled everything, so she texted me Friday morning and invited me to grab a drink with her yesterday. Went out, had a lot of fun and ended up getting a BJ in her car later that night along with a very heavy makeout. Next time I see her we both know she is going to be getting railed...

Yeah, I suppose this could be counted as a flake, but since we never set a time or place I won't count it as a streak buster---I'm at 18 consecutive dates without a flake and counting. Point is, I didn't act all pissy, needy or desperate and just played it cool and we ended up meeting.

Does flaking or having a chick go ghost suck? Yeah it does. But its not the end of the world and if you just relax and play it cool you can still get what you want out of the situation many times.

 

[Octogonal]

See I disagree with this. I was talking with this woman, I invited her out 2 Thursday's ago on Monday, she said that would be cool, texted her back on Wednesday on where to meet and she never replied. Played it cool, no further texts. Texted her a week later and she responded and apologized for "blowing me off" and said that to be honest she was nervous about meeting me because I intimidate her. We exchanged a couple of more messages and I sent her a pic or two and we made plans for the following Thursday. Had a huge snowstorm which cancelled everything, so she texted me Friday morning and invited me to grab a drink with her yesterday. Went out, had a lot of fun and ended up getting a BJ in her car later that night along with a very heavy makeout. Next time I see her we both know she is going to be getting railed...

Yeah, I suppose this could be counted as a flake, but since we never set a time or place I won't count it as a streak buster---I'm at 18 consecutive dates without a flake and counting. Point is, I didn't act all pissy, needy or desperate and just played it cool and we ended up meeting.

Does flaking or having a chick go ghost suck? Yeah it does. But its not the end of the world and if you just relax and play it cool you can still get what you want out of the situation many times.

She was still interested in going out with you though, never giving you an excuse, whereas other girls with no interest will lie to break a date.

 

[El Payaso]

See I disagree with this. I was talking with this woman, I invited her out 2 Thursday's ago on Monday, she said that would be cool, texted her back on Wednesday on where to meet and she never replied. Played it cool, no further texts. Texted her a week later and she responded and apologized for "blowing me off" and said that to be honest she was nervous about meeting me because I intimidate her. We exchanged a couple of more messages and I sent her a pic or two and we made plans for the following Thursday. Had a huge snowstorm which cancelled everything, so she texted me Friday morning and invited me to grab a drink with her yesterday. Went out, had a lot of fun and ended up getting a BJ in her car later that night along with a very heavy makeout. Next time I see her we both know she is going to be getting railed...

Yeah, I suppose this could be counted as a flake, but since we never set a time or place I won't count it as a streak buster---I'm at 18 consecutive dates without a flake and counting. Point is, I didn't act all pissy, needy or desperate and just played it cool and we ended up meeting.

Does flaking or having a chick go ghost suck? Yeah it does. But its not the end of the world and if you just relax and play it cool you can still get what you want out of the situation many times.

That's because she had interest in you.