Analyse This

[SynapsyS]

Ok, so I ended up getting that girls number (if you're interested, scroll back a few pages for the thread) on Friday morning, and I gave her a call last night (Monday night).

Here's how the conversation went. It's been truncated slightly, mostly the general chitchat, because I can't be bothered typing that much out. I thought it might be a good test to see if you guys can pick up my mistakes. I can see them plain as day, but I'd like to see how good you guys are. Unfortunately, I'm not nearly as good on the phone as I'd like to be, I'm much better when I can use body language and kino and the like.

Anyway:

Syn: Hey, Meagan, it's Syn.
Meagan: Oh, hey!
Syn: How are you?
M: Bored. Out of my mind.
Syn: Haha, so how were the Gravity Games on Friday?
M: Really cool! Except I got there at 4 because of my sister.
Syn: Oh?
M: Yeah, she was sleeping.
Syn: What the.. who sleeps until 4pm?!
M: Haha, well, my jetlagged sister for one.
Syn: Oh, haha

..

Syn: So, what are you up to on Friday or Saturday night?
M: Um.. nothing I think.
Syn: Well, come to the movies with me then.
M:..Ok!
Syn: Hmm, southlands is probably the best bet, being closer than Gardo. Meet at say, 8?
M: Hmm, I usually don't make plans this early in the week...hang on....ok, I'll write your mobile number down, and I'll message you and let you know.
Syn: #
M: (repeats)?
Syn: Yep, that's the one.
M: Ok, I'll let you know! I had the weirdest dream ever last night, Elmo was trying to kill my knees for some reason....

And etc.

Ok, now go. Let's see how well you do. If you feel up to it, perhaps a reason why it's a mistake would be good for people who perhaps might not have picked it up, or even questioned it.

Syn.

 

[DJ4Real]

You got overly excited about going to the movies with her. You made it sound like you don't have any plans ever, to add on.

 

[pecoso]

Unecessary info about the Elmo dream. That and the overly excited thing.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

this is stupid... but ill give it a shot... even tho its very stupid

1ver excited
2:YOU were the only one asking questions
3: you sound liked you had a plan going on in your head... of what she and you would say

 

[CrazyAsianBiker]

You questioned the time.

You said, Let's say.... 8?

I felt a feeling in my chest on that one lol.

It was all going good then NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Should've implicated that YOU are the one holding the time here.

Something like, well i'll have time around 8, so i'll give you a call.

ALSO you asked what she was doing friday OR saturday.

Not one specific day, so you left it open that you had BOTH the good days open, implicating that YOU are the one on her time at the moment and you have nothing to do on those 2 days.

So close, but no cigar, so much potential in that conversation.

 

[LikRetsam]

What are you talking about? Too excited!? He shouldnt ask her if she's ready at 8, he should TELL her? The above replies are jokes right? You're not really advocating that right?

 

[DJ4Real]

Lik, do you have any suggestions, or are you going to moan and groan about our replies? If you READ, he said that he knows he made some mistakes.

"I thought it might be a good test to see if you guys can pick up my mistakes. I can see them plain as day, but I'd like to see how good you guys are. Unfortunately, I'm not nearly as good on the phone as I'd like to be, I'm much better when I can use body language and kino and the like."

 

[LikRetsam]

Yeah well he knows wrong.

Goal: Get a date.
Status: Success.

Mistakes? This isn't a mathematical demonstration; anything goes. As you've seen jerks get laid and chumps get dates, different approaches work on different girls.

You're trying to tell him he's over excited? What's the problem? She may think he's happy to get a date with her! Perhaps she didn't realise that's why he was asking her on a date in the first place!

 

[DJ4Real]

Bad saying that "jerks get laid and chumps get dates" it's not a "jerk" thing. Sometimes the "chump" gets to hear about the date that she went on he doesn't necessarily go on the date..same thing with the "jerks" if you're too much of a jerk...you may not get laid....I looked at his post again...I read one of his lines wrong..he wasn't the one who got too excited,,,..but the main mistake that he did make was he asked most of the questions..it seemed like a one side convo when it got to the date part......I see one other mistake towards the bottom, he asks her " well how about 8?" (seeking approval) he should have been more assertive about it.....If anything it's a microscopically minor mistake that he wasn't more assertive and decesive of the time of his date.

He said he knew he made some mistakes...so i'm just looking for them.

 

[SynapsyS]

You guys get an A+.

It's probably worth noting that that wasn't the whole thing, hence the ... between the "paragraphs". I only included the first bit as a bit of an intro so you guys could get an idea of what was happening, rather than just posting how I arranged it.

By the way, suggesting 2 days came straight from the Bible, so I don't know what you guys have been doing. It was a Monday night, there's no need to show "that I have other things on", because I obviously don't at that time in the week. Plus, suggesting 2 days gives you a better chance of hitting a free day, as I know she's pretty busy at the moment.

I'll take all those little extra things to heart (I didn't pick up on the "8?" one, mostly because I'm fairly relaxed about time setting, as I'm rarely where I need to be EXACTLY on the dot ). Also, I wasn't "over excited", but as DJ4Real said, he miss-read one of my lines, so you're forgiven

Now, the follow up. I thought there was a chance she had brushed me off, because girls are weird like that, but, she sent me a message last night just asking how my speech went etc. I sent a message back replying, adding:

"Btw, I don't know if i'll be able to make it to the movies this weekend, but I'll keep you posted."

I got this reply (well, this is the relevant bit):

"Oh, ok, thats cool, let me know when you're free. I'm not too fussed when we go."

And thus, the ball is back in my court.

Hmm, I really need to work on my phone skills. It's all well and good to be able to spot mistakes, but the point is not to make them in the first place.

 

[Porky]

he asks her " well how about 8?" (seeking approval)

He wasn't seeking approval.

jesus dating people isn't as complex as you guys are making it out to be.

he was being considerate and asking her if that time worked for her.

he isn't a puzzy-whipped b!tch if he tries a little bit to accomodate to her schedule.

I would be surprised if any high school girl were impressed by somebody actually going up to her and just saying "hey, we're going to the movies at 8, meet me there. what? you want to go at 9? NO. NO. 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

[DJ4Real]

Originally posted by Porky
He wasn't seeking approval.

jesus dating people isn't as complex as you guys are making it out to be.

he was being considerate and asking her if that time worked for her.

he isn't a puzzy-whipped b!tch if he tries a little bit to accomodate to her schedule.

I would be surprised if any high school girl were impressed by somebody actually going up to her and just saying "hey, we're going to the movies at 8, meet me there. what? you want to go at 9? NO. NO. 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

You complicated what I said. I never said or implied of him being "a puss* whipped b!tch" because he was being considerate. I said that he should have been a tad bit more assertive. I disagree, dating is very complicated, why? because most women and some men are complicated, which make things complicated as a whole. Who said anything about demanding a date? you don't demand a date. I never said walk up to someone and say " Hey we are going on to the movies at 8!"...you said that. Didn't I say his mistake was microscopic? It was minor and not much to worry about. And if you noticed, even he said "I felt like she wa going to try brush me off"..or something to that extent. Me, I would have said "I'm going to the movies on saturday at 8, would you like to join?".......it's a bit more direct than what he said...

Anyways, I think he did an overall good job with his approach...you should of read twice before you tried to negatively criticize what I said, Porky.

 

[LikRetsam]

Originally posted by DJ4Real
I disagree, dating is very complicated

At the stage where you're on the sosuave forums asking questions and reading the DJ bible all day, yeah it may seem complicated.

It gets much easier after the first few approaches.

And yes, Porky is right. You did imply he was a chump.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

Likeretsam contributes nothing to this thread except whining like a little b!atch instead of giving advice like the others. Shut up if you are not going to contribute anything positive, the guy asked for analysis not your flamebaiting other posters.

Anyway back to the topic, what can I say that hasn't already been said? saying friday or saturday I bet she thought you sure have a lot of time on your hands. Your way of asking her was not very manly.

A proper way to ask a girl to go someplace with you, very simple

"im going to the movies this weekend, wanna come" (you are inviting her into your world, youre not beggin)

it should not be

"would you like to go watch a movie? what time is it best for you?": you are basically telling her you want her, you are too obvious, it sounds like you are setting up this whole date and process just to get with her and girls know it. If you say instead "im going to the movies, you wanna come" your plans don't sound so obvious, it sounds as if she can either say yes or no it won't matter a damn to you. You never want to make your plans obvious/show too much interest.

 

[The Master Disaster]

sounds like she looks as you as a "friend" but still go to the movies. Thats the time to make a move.

 

[SynapsyS]

Ok, so I sent her a message saying: "Oh, btw, I'm busy tmw night (friday night), but I'm free on saturday. Meet me at the movies at 8."

And then I got the affirmative.

However, the movie times are odd. They all start around 9-9:15 (which I had planned for), but I hadn't given any thought to how they **** I'm getting home . I don't think my mum's going to be in any modd to pick me up at nearly 11:30.

What are your opinions on rescheduling the time to 6? It's early, but the movies run either at 7 or 9, and I'm not able to do 9. To me, this would seem like I'm trying to hard to organise the date. I could wait until saturday afternoon to let her know, so as not to spend too much time "contacting her" in close succession.

It may be worth noting that with the exception of me calling on Monday, she's been getting in contact with me, twice since then.

Thoughts? I've always believed that good relationships start off great, so getting the good start is important. But more than that, I'm using this as a good testing ground for all the stuff I've learned in the last year. I've been practising all the "pick up" related stuff (mostly confidence etc), but I haven't had the chance to try the "in-date" stuff, because I've been hectic with school (1 month to go )

Anyway, thanks for the replies.
Syn.

 

[DJ4Real]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
At the stage where you're on the sosuave forums asking questions and reading the DJ bible all day, yeah it may seem complicated.

It gets much easier after the first few approaches.

And yes, Porky is right. You did imply he was a chump.

No I didn't. How would you know? You aren't me. Reread.

 

[SynapsyS]

Guys, chill. Let's focus on me for a moment

See above.

 

[SynapsyS]

Update time on my awesomeness. I'll only include relevant bits, because I don't exactly live on the intarweb.

Saturday night: Met her at the movies (parents could give me a lift etc), talked for about an hour before hand (movie times = inappropriate, but well suited for a date). Nothing really to note about that.

We ended up seeing Serenity (I said I'd been dying to see it, and she couldn't make her mind up, so I made it up for her). She gets "scared" at the drop of a hat, so she was grabbing my upper arm in "fear". So, I put my arm around her and we did all the default first date shizz. My friend asked if I kiss-closed; I said nay.

I got home at roughly 11:30, and I got a message from her at 11:45 saying "Well night sunshine. Thanks for 2nite it was fun. If ur bored anytime 2moro, feel free to call me. Sweet dreams "

Obviously, I didn't call yesterday, but in the morning I got a message asking me to come over if I was free, apparently she needed help with an English paper. Instead, I said "I'll drop round after school tomorrow (ie, today) and see you. I'll be there about 3."

Forward to this afternoon, I took a dvd over, and we spent the afternoon cuddled up on the couch watching it in semi darkness. Again, usual early relationship stuff, a little more flirty and confident this time though. This time, I intended to kiss-close, but her massoose (lol, spelling) showed up as I was moving in. Much better than the movies, no arm rest involved this time

She's a lot different to other girls i've met. Usually, by this stage, I'm already making out and shizz with them, but she's different. While I know it's up to me to get what I want, not wait around for it to be handed to me, she doesn't seem like the "fast-moving" type, so at the moment, I'm content to see where this all goes. However, I'm not stupid, if i'm still getting nothing in the near future, then action will be taken.

One thing this girl has taught me is that a lot of the stuff in the bible doesn't apply to high-school girls. Sure, C&F, all the confidence stuff, and the "picking-up" advice is all great, but high-school girls aren't really out for a quick ****, well, not the one's that are worth my time anyway. I'm getting a lot of friendzone warnings from all this, but she doesn't hesitate to get close and all that. Which is a first, usually it's polar. They either want to make out with me, or aren't "interested in that way".

In all, it's interesting. I'll use this as a journal of sorts, and if you guys can see anything blatantly obvious, point it out along the way eh? Remember though, don't be quoting the bible all the time, this experience has left me feeling as though while the bible is great, sometimes you have to work it out for yourself; no 2 situations/girls are ever alike.

EDIT:

Just got this message from her: "It was good to see u. We should do it again soon."

All together now!
AWWWWWWWWW

I'll keep this updated, more as a record of how awesome I am, so I can read it and be inspired to be more awesome.

Syn.

 

[ilikebeef]

A question about the whole, "I'm going to xxx friday, wanna come?" thing:

Doesn't that imply that you are going with other friends? Because she can say no and assume you're going, because you already said you were. (I'm assuming you guys don't go to the movies alone) So isn't there the potential for a bit of trouble if she says yes, anticipating being part of a group?