An overconfident woman?

[OddTech]

Hi Guys, I hope some of you can shed some light on my situation.

Here is the low-down. I have been dating this girl twice. She's is very funny and isn't afraid to throw some sarcastic remarks at me. We have lots of laugh together and have no problems making fun of each other. In appearance, she is a little "wide." So I give her a 5; a 6 when I'm in a good mood. Some of you are asking why I'm dating a 5, but honestly, I don't care too much about appearance.

What I don't really get is that her confidence. She walks with a sense of pride that I don't see very often. This is good. But some of our conversations made me think that her confidence is a little too much. Here are some examples.

1) In regards to her appearance, she gives herself an 8. Now I just saw this tread and I'm thinking that those girls that stormwriter shows are getting 7 to 9. Then this girl I'm dating is obviously over-rating herself.

2) Again in regard to appearance, she says that in a couple, the girl is always better looking than the guy. And she reinforced it by saying that we (me and this girl) are no different. Again, I'm thinking that I do everything to make myself look better, such as working out, buying nice clothes, fixing my hair, and etc. I thought I should be at least equal to her. H*ll, I have a trimmer midsection than hers.

3) Lastly, we had a talk about relationship, and she says that no guys really turn her on. My impression from this conversation is that she apparently is looking for a perfect man because she is so d*mn great herself.

In the end, I feel sorta awkard about this girl. I expect humility in someone who isn't that great or who doesn't apply the "high standards to herself" as Pook said. I don't know if I wanted to go out with her again. Sorry for the rants guys, but god I don't know anymore.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

She's confident enough, and apparantly knows how to deal and test men. You are either coming across as weak, so she might be testing you to see how far she can push it.

Even women like that get humbled when their Interest Level rises too much for a guy she's interested in.

Start neg hitting her and see what she does. She needs to be brought down to reality, and you need to start takin' charge a little more.

 

[DankNuggs]

First, good to see some ma$$holes here. Second, get rid of her. This town is full of fat pigs who think they're God...I never understood it. Must be the education factor maybe, with all these colleges around here....She seems like the classic waste of time...No need to neg hit, its not your job to lower her self esteem through manipulation, just allow nature to take its course..She'll come out of the clouds as she continues to get dumped.

 

[echo1212]

Next her now.

 

[ulsterman]

If I can say so without being accused of peddling some covert Christian agenda from a certain paranoid and nameless member of this forum, I believe overly confident women are unwomanly because they reek of assertiveness & independence, whilst lacking that feminine vulnerability occasionally seen in, say, Gwyneth Paltrow's rendition of Emma. A man can fall in lust with a woman's body; but a quintessentially feminine persona annexed to that body, well, that's something to fall in LOVE with. I think the most desirable beauties are those who make their menfolk feel NEEDED for strength, assurance, counsel, and love.

 

[iqqi]

well, guys, just like men, women can be confident and vulnerable...when they develop feelings for you! just like you...

i am ****y as hell. it is sexy. (trust me...)
but if i really like someone i am vulnerable.

just like you!

 

[Mikeman!]

If she's fat, sounds like all her rejections/lack of attention has made her bitter and hate men. She has probably brainwashed herself into thinking she is hot as a defense mechanism.

 

[SLIKKER_THAN_AVG]

I dont give a f*ck what the scientific explanation is for confident fatties thinking theyre the next best thing since sliced bread.


It comes down to fact...they are fat.

Dude get out of that before she makes it harder for you to get away..either by sitting on you or by playing on your emotions (ie. See me for what i am...i am a HB inside).


Yeah i probably sound like an insensitive prick..but ill say it once and ill say it again..Fat chicks are annoying..thats just the way the cookie crumbles.

There, I am Done.

 

[SLIKKER_THAN_AVG]

Oh and for the female posters on here..who may or may not chastise me for this statement...dont do it unless your currently chasing some fat balding guy with a hairy chest and a 3 inch d*ck.


SAME THING!

 

[Grey Fox]

If she is trying to walk over you instead of with you then your not in a good relationship. Sit her down and tell that you are looking for a good relationship with a person grounded in reality that gives equally as much as they take. Its okay to have pride, but one should know when to be able to open up and just show their natural side in a relationship. I have a feeling she hasn't really done that yet. But the important thing is you do what is right for you, your not married to her, you're your own person and the likewise goes for her. I'd next her if her confidence just turned into pointless arrogance and her climbing up on her high horse everyday, but thats just me.

-Grey Fox

 

[GeekGirl]

Are you Kidding SLIKKER_THAN_AVG? hahaha I am with you on this one, I have been there, I have seen hot looking dudes sporting phugly's around town! and thought WTF!!! and at the time I was alone! uuggh and to top it off they was BOSSY ASS MO-FO Ho's! all I kept thinking was DAAAM she must give a good BJ! other wise how could he be with her

I guess as I got older and had this very discussion with my male friends they enlightened me on the subject of rejection and low self esteem issues that many men suffer from, it's easier to not get rejected by a phugly so most guys took what ever they could cope with, I guess in terms it was like paying a hooker hahahaha!
Any ways all I thought was dam guys are cop-outs it really burst my bubble. And the worst part was these types of guys that date the phugly's are turning them into monsters, some of em actually BELIEVE they are ALL THAT AND A CIGAR! it's so annoying. I mean **** I know I am not that ugly, but dam I didn't even poses some of the self esteem these phatty's did. But guys who pay attention to these types of girls and don't tell them THE TRUTH about them selves is what gives them that HOLY-ER THEN THOU personality! And again don't get me wrong, I don't think we should spit on phugly's we are all people here, but when I see them acting up like they are better then everyone else, I just want to hold a mirror in front of them and say BE HAPPY WITH YOUR MAN! your lucky you get any thing. And Odd Tech, you better start blurting out the truth before she takes your sole! I don't believe that any one, is better then any one else, we should have the same respect for each other. Don't let no one step on you. and mean it!

 

[bp1974]

So, she's told you that:

1. You're not as good looking as her
2. You don't turn her on

Even thought she's doing it really covertly (by saying 'all guys' or 'all relationships') it's still a test to see how much disrespect you'll put up with.

Next time she opens her big fat mouth, turn around and walk away. Or better yet, just don't see her again. She has man issues.

bp1974

 

[die4me]

Wow...

First of all, you rate her a 6 when you're in a good mood. That can't be very good. Personally, I wouldn't care if you did, but then she'd have to have an exceptional personality to drag that ugly up. But from what you say afterwards, it doesn't seem like she's very humble or feminine. Personality-wise, based on what you told me, I would have slapped her after she said that. Just my two cents, I would next her and go for some one else. Cause you deserve better!

 

[assasin]

My girl is "a little wide". She'll be the first to admit she's no 8, but she's comfortable with what she is. She watches her weight and tries (succesfully) to keep it down to her height/weight ratio. She's never going to look good in a bikini, she's just not got that build, but she makes the most of what God gave her. She faces up to the truth and has the confidence that with a bright smile, a sense of humour and a good nature, that people will warm to her.

But there is a big difference between confidence and denial. If this girl is "a little wide" but is ranking herself up there with the 8's and then suggesting that she is better than you, and probably other people also then she's burying self esteem issues.

Basically this girl is ignoring the plain truth that 50% of the worlds population are going to be below average in the looks department, and has convinced herself on a concious level that she's above average.

The danger is that one day this house of cards is going to come down, and all she'll be left with is her unconcious bitterness and resentment. And then her 5-6 looks are going to be reduced still further by a -1000000 personality. You really don't want to be around when that happens.

We've all seen them, the bitter forty something walruses, drivig those electric scooters around the shopping malls because they're too fat to walk. Ask them about it and it's a "Metabolism" problem, assuming you can get more than a string of hatred and expletives from their mouths.

See that? that's this girl in about twenty years!

 

[vdk]

Dude, run. Run as fast as you can. I too wanna punch every fat girl who thinks she is 4 points above what she really is. What annoys me more is that when a guy looks at them automatically they assume he is hitting on her. Maybe its because he is trying to figuring out why she is so ugly.

If you dont run now, 2 months down the track you'll start to hate her personality and even worse shell dump you.

from the looks of your post you dont seem in control. The MAN is always in control of the relationship and provides leadership/guidance, if not there will inevitably be clashes of interest leading to a breakup. One of the many reasons why the devorce rate in U.S. is high

 

[OddTech]

update

WOW, this is good stuff guys. Thanks all of you! Here is the update and a little "advice" for newbies here.

Well, yesterday, I can tell that the moment I "next" her in my mind, she is losing control of me! For you newbies, never let the woman think they can take control of your emotion and your heart.

So she called me last night to ask me for some company. And I was playing a little busy. We went out eventually for a little drink and some talk. After some alcohol, I sorta lost my cool and confronted her about her "looks." I got nothing to lose, right? So guess what happened. She immediately said it was a misunderstanding and that a 7 is "average" and a 8 is a little above average. Hahaha. I turned on the C+F (with a little insult, I couldn't help it) and told her that she's overinflating the SCALE. If she's admitted that she's around average, then she's nothing more than a 6. She was a little shocked to hear that, but I am ruthless now, I got nothing to lose.

As the night went on, she keeps telling me how admirable I am because of all my ambitions and goals (thanks to the sosuave for this). She said the more she knows me the more multidimension and "deep" I am (keeping on the mystery!). Turns out that she wanted to see me because she wanted to get away from an AFC that has been asking her out all the time. Now I understand why her confidence can be a bit inflated. It's because there are AFC guys who still worship her and begging to be with her (thanks Geekgirl for this). Gosh, that's sad.

Now, I'm not going to phone her anymore and seeking other girls. Thanks for reading this tread. Cheers.

 

[GeekGirl]

Bravo!!!! Wow! Nice to hear a success story! I am so proud of you OddTech, it takes a MAN to speak up! I actually think you did it with tact, most guys can insult a girl and make her feel like sh** but really at least she didn’t try to throw down with you! So you did it with style.

One thing, though at least she wanted to be out with instead of some one of those hard up morons that call her. That might actually mean something, unless she was only trying to boost up her image, after you deflated it a bit HAHAHAHA! and she just said that to you to make her self feel better, actually she probably said that to you to try and convince YOU she was really an 8, HA!

I am telling you this, it is men who give women the power. Girl’s think they are Hot because guys flock to them like a dog in heat. Why do you think there are so many girls out there with crappy tudes? Because they know how to get what they want. Not only that they know they can get it from who ever they want, even if they are PHATTY’S. Guys you just gotta play it cool that’s all.


-Peace