An observation:

[frivolousz21]

nothing can be generalized.

but ive noticed that of the 11 gfs ive had.

only 3 were in love with me.

I noticed all 3 had parents who were together there whole lives.

of the other 8 gf's.

4 of them had divoreced parents..and 1 of them had parents who separated....and that 1 dated me for 2 months then left and tried getting me back multiple times.

I wonder how much that plays a role in a women....

i know if a males dad is a abusive, he is more likely to be abusive.

 

[jefe96]

It plays a huge role. If there is/was no father figure she is always going to be seeking out the approval of the men in her life and constantly trying to gain new male figures in her life. Fear of adandonment by the main male figure (i.e. boyfriend/husband) comes into play if her dad split on her mom way back when. Ask any of the chicks you know who only have 'guy friends' if her parents are divorced or still together. I would be willing to bet that the number who's parents are divorced is somewhere near 90% or higher. Hence the fact that she is constantly trying to fill her life with men since the main male figure in her life bailed on her and her mom. This is just my opinion, but I speak from experience in regards to putting up with this kind of sh*t from a gf who came from split parents. It took me until after the fact to realize that the problem was not me but that she had some severe emotional issues.

 

[legolas]

Especially if the parents had problems while she was still young and living with them this should have somehow carried over into her life. Other things you might want to consider asking a girl whom you're seeing is whether she ever saw her parents kiss. I hear that if she never does this might program her for LTR failure or to show no love.

Deep stuff dude :woo:

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

Interesting....

Friv I too notice the difference in girls who were raised by a single parent then who were raised by both parents.

But the real distinction is if the mom or dad raises them.

If it’s the Dad only raised her she becomes his little princess and he becomes really protective then the usual father. Not necessarily super spoiled his daughter just protective. Thus Daddy’s Girl and sometimes she can have an attitude like she can’t do no wrong. Strong willed, Submissive, Opinionated like her father, doesn’t take any crap and really doesn’t take kindly to AFCs. But the good side is usually you can break that can’t do no wrong unless daddy tells me if you are a REAL MAN like her father. Remember these kinds of chicks really look for guys that can hold a candle towards her father.

Now if her mother raises her, she is more likely to be super spoiled. Very Protective but not because she knows how boys think like the father but because whoever wants her is threatening the mom in a sense the bf is taking her “baby” away. Also that the girl wants someone to “take care of her” instead of her taking care of her man. Being that she never had a father, a MAN to take care of her to do things that no matter how good of a parent the mother is can’t project like the father simply because he is a man she wants her BF or husband to take care of her in a father like way. I notice that they usually are both shy and timid or/and all about girl power and not very submissive when a normal woman should be. And sometimes they freak when they don’t get lots of attention.

Also on a side note if raised by a bunch of brothers she is strong willed, take no crap, somewhat have boyish traits, likes to play sports, maybe knows a few things about cars, good child raiser, likes all kinds of movies and rather watch an action/thriller or suspenseful movie then a chick flick, knows how to fight and wrestle, and usually out going and assertive.

One that is raised with a bunch of sisters, tend not to like change, girl power, have hard time dealing with the opposite sex, loves chick flicks and rather watch one then anything else, and just very girly. Meaning won’t like to do physical activities (not counting gym to stay in shape) because don’t want to mess up their hair and make up and just rather do really girly stuff.



Now not every girl that I described is like that. Of course that is just my observation from my experiences and of others that I know personally. And it’s nothing wrong if you like one over the other. It all depends on what you want and prefer in a women.

 

[joekerr31]

people's neural network is put into place as they grow up.

"ideas" are merely a cluster of neurons. "philosophies" "behaviors" "reactions" are how all those clusters are connected to each other.

"instinct" or "conditioned behavior/thought" or the "subconscious" are neural clusters that have been there for so long that the person isn't even aware that they exist.

so yes, children model their parents. They connect the ideas based on the actions and reactions they observe in their parents.

a child sees:
Daddy: home late
mommy: yelling at daddy
daddy: yelling back
mommy: crying
daddy: apologizing
mommy and daddy: go f*ck

girl turns into woman and busts men balls. Why, because her neural network says thats what you do if you ultimately want the man to say sorry and show you attention.

that's the bad news (because most marriages are crap, so most people have learned crappy interpersonal skills within relationships).

the good news is that your neural network is flexible. you can insert new programming that overrides your conditioned network. you can learn new ways to problem solve and interrelate. you can develop new analytical skills to better assess problems prior to making decisions.

this is what i call "maturation". the buddhists argue a similar thing, saying that enlightenment really isnt about learning something new, but rather UNLEARNING all you've been taught.

and not taught as in verbal communication. but rather taught as in all the f*cked up stuff you've seen in your life that has wired your neural network, and which you didn't even realize was f*cked up becuase you had nothing "sane" to benchmark it against.

so unless you were raised by highly functional parents, odds are your brain is a little messed up now and so will your relationships. now that works for a lot of people, but most folks would do well to take some time and unscramble the scrambled egg. it makes it a lot easier to figure out what exactly you really want in your omlette.

J

 

[WestCoaster]

Great stuff Joekerr

Originally posted by joekerr31

this is what i call "maturation". the buddhists argue a similar thing, saying that enlightenment really isnt about learning something new, but rather UNLEARNING all you've been taught.

J

Wow, good stuff. Unlearning is tough to do. Many years ago, I came out of high school with a messed up self-esteem because I bought into what coaches/teachers/classmates told me, basically that I was OK, but not stacking up and not good enough. I went 500 miles away to college and no one knew my past, suddenly women were attracted to me, my college coaches loved my attitude/work ethic, and teachers connected with me.

My problem back in that day was because of my deep upbringing/high school programming, I didn't UNLEARN the false beliefs taught me in high school until about two years into college, then things really took off. I feel like I'm unlearning every day and it's a freeing feeling. College was the breakthrough for me, it helped that I was far away from my previous environs, but the unlearning was and still is difficult.

Believe it or not, despite the good intentions of parents, their messages are often wrong. Despite the good intentions of friends, mentors, teachers, sometimes their messages are wrong.

And society's messages are almost always wrong.

Unlearning is the key, that's where this site comes in handy. The subconscious is a powerful force, you have to change it.