An interesting Girl.

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Ill try to make it short as possible.
Me and my girl had been together for about 3 1/2 Years last june, we had been arguing a lot the previous couple of months I didnt think of it as anything. Well I ended up breaking up with her because we just werent clicking and she was fighting with me all the time. I kind of took her for granted being that I was always in control of the relationship and I was sure we would end up getting back together and working it out. As it turned out she started talking to another guy at this point is where it went all wrong and I developed what I call severe Oneitis. The first thing I told her when I FOUND OUT WAS "baby dont worry about it we can work it out" I had done so many things wrong to her I felt guilty and I felt that I was the one that had caused this. I was an insecure boyfriend to say the least now that I look back. The one that would be all pissed off if I even seen her talk to another guy, I HAD TOTAL CONTROL AND PRETTY MUCH HAD HER ON LOCKDOWN. Well the story goes she started talking with this other guy but would still either call me or text me everyday during this summer stretch. After begging and pleading, Yes I know thats desperate and lame, I was able to get her to start talking to me again and we got back together. But this 2nd time around was totally different now she had all the power and would use it towards me excessively. The examples are things like she would think she was better then me and act like I was lucky to be with her. Finally I broke up with her again but she didnt really care its almost as if she acted like that so I would break up with her so she wouldnt have to. That entire second time we were together I cried a good amount of times asking how come she wasnt the same anymore and why did she have to start talking to another guy. It was obvious that while she was with me the 2nd time she still liked this other dude. I mean the typical short answers, she didnt text like she used to, and didnt even want to talk on the phone. She ended up getting with this guy in January but yet would still text me everyday like clock work good morning, goodnight even if I didnt text her. She would and still texts me things like your my special one and I know we ae going to be together for sure.
I want to be with you just not now. Everyday she still texts me or calls and I never initiate the contact its always her. We have never in 4 years went more then 2 weeks without talking. Fast Forward now to April and this dude broke up with her and she tells Me I just want to be single but constantly texts me I miss you and I love you I mean almost everyday. I by mistake put this girl on a pedestal I know that. If I ignore her for a while she texts me verses from songs almost constantly and tells me I know we will be back together soon. I think I know part of my problem is that Im to available to her. Yesterday i went to the phone store and had my phone number changed I told her I was going to do it and she begged me not to she said be patient will be back together soon but please dont change it because I love you!
In my last Text I told her goodluck with your life and I hope everything turns out the way you want goodbye. Her last text was "No! I love you!"
I still love this girl but in my opinion she is just playing way to much games and taking me for granted shes the kind of girl that wouldnt believe in her right mind I would Leave Her. Its like she has her cake and is eating it to. I asked her why she wont let go of me and she said because her heart is afraid to. I think I still have some pull over this girl but I have failed to excersise any of my power left.
So my question is 1. did I do the right thing by changing my number?
Or 2. Should I have kept my original number and ignored her?
3. I still want to get this girl back in my favor where do I go from here?

 

[battle_sheep]

Ill try to make it short as possible.

Me and my girl had been together for about 3 1/2 Years last june, we had been arguing a lot the previous couple of months I didnt think of it as anything. Well I ended up breaking up with her because we just werent clicking and she was fighting with me all the time. I kind of took her for granted being that I was always in control of the relationship and I was sure we would end up getting back together and working it out. As it turned out she started talking to another guy at this point is where it went all wrong and I developed what I call severe Oneitis.

The first thing I told her when I FOUND OUT WAS "baby dont worry about it we can work it out" I had done so many things wrong to her I felt guilty and I felt that I was the one that had caused this. I was an insecure boyfriend to say the least now that I look back. The one that would be all pissed off if I even seen her talk to another guy, I HAD TOTAL CONTROL AND PRETTY MUCH HAD HER ON LOCKDOWN. Well the story goes she started talking with this other guy but would still either call me or text me everyday during this summer stretch. After begging and pleading, Yes I know thats desperate and lame, I was able to get her to start talking to me again and we got back together.

But this 2nd time around was totally different now she had all the power and would use it towards me excessively. The examples are things like she would think she was better then me and act like I was lucky to be with her. Finally I broke up with her again but she didnt really care its almost as if she acted like that so I would break up with her so she wouldnt have to. That entire second time we were together I cried a good amount of times asking how come she wasnt the same anymore and why did she have to start talking to another guy.

It was obvious that while she was with me the 2nd time she still liked this other dude. I mean the typical short answers, she didnt text like she used to, and didnt even want to talk on the phone. She ended up getting with this guy in January but yet would still text me everyday like clock work good morning, goodnight even if I didnt text her. She would and still texts me things like your my special one and I know we ae going to be together for sure.

I want to be with you just not now. Everyday she still texts me or calls and I never initiate the contact its always her. We have never in 4 years went more then 2 weeks without talking. Fast Forward now to April and this dude broke up with her and she tells Me I just want to be single but constantly texts me I miss you and I love you I mean almost everyday. I by mistake put this girl on a pedestal I know that. If I ignore her for a while she texts me verses from songs almost constantly and tells me I know we will be back together soon. I think I know part of my problem is that Im to available to her. Yesterday i went to the phone store and had my phone number changed I told her I was going to do it and she begged me not to she said be patient will be back together soon but please dont change it because I love you!
In my last Text I told her goodluck with your life and I hope everything turns out the way you want goodbye.

Her last text was "No! I love you!"
I still love this girl but in my opinion she is just playing way to much games and taking me for granted shes the kind of girl that wouldnt believe in her right mind I would Leave Her. Its like she has her cake and is eating it to. I asked her why she wont let go of me and she said because her heart is afraid to. I think I still have some pull over this girl but I have failed to excersise any of my power left.


So my question is

1. did I do the right thing by changing my number?
Or

2. Should I have kept my original number and ignored her?

3. I still want to get this girl back in my favor where do I go from here?

I broke it up in paragraphs incase anyone doesnt wanna read your wall of text

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Well you should start by using paragraphs spaced out better (looks like someone else beat you to it).

Did you ask her to stop contacting you first before changing your number? I would have told her it was unfair and to cut it out, but obviously if she persisted then you did the right thing. Get a fresh start and move on. By you cutting contact you're taking some of the power back. With a relationship that long, it's going to be tough for things to be the same after three years as it was in the beginning. Most likely it will never be the same, but it's obvious you both care about each other (even if you don't feel the same as before).

Cliffsnotes: You did the right thing; move on with your life.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Thank you for Breaking it up into paragraphs.

I told her that she needed to quit playing games because she was going to lose me for good . I threatened to leave many times and never did, I also threatened to change my number many times and never did it. That is until now, she wants to have her cake and eat it to.

She was defintiley taking advantage of me beacause I have sat there and waited like a dumby. Its been about 8 months I feel a little uneasy about doing it but she lost respect for me. I never did anything I said I would do.

Anymore advice on this subject?

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Bump.

 

[ZhaoYun]

Want advice? Find other prospects so you're not fixated on one girl that may or may not want you.

Chances are she has a guy at the plate, on deck and another due up. Just because she tries to talk to you doesn't mean she's putting her life on hold. You shouldn't either.

Oh and changing your number is a b!tch move. Sounds like she can't stand not having your attention so she's just trying to get it back. Once you give in (unless you're strictly just after sex with her) then she'll probably start to ignore you.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Actually it was me who changed my number.

 

[ZhaoYun]

Actually it was me who changed my number.

I read that. Did you do it to avoid her? If you did, then it's a b!tch type thing to do.

 

[Jitterbug]

A wise man on SS once said that if you ever find yourself in such a situation, leave her, hook up with a dozen other girls and if you still find yourself thinking about the first girl and unable to get over her, come back and ask her to marry you.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

So explain to me why it was B!TCH move? She cant stand not having my attention thats why I cut her off, she consantly texts song versus and all kinds of things like that and me my ownself reading them, would always end up texting her back. By changing the number it allows me not to talk to her for a while, we never have went more than 2 1/2 weeks without talking in my mind she kept playing games and they needed to be stopped. What do you think?

 

[Charm&Style]

Both of you are too immature. I believe you did a good thing by changing your number because now she has no way to manipulate you into becoming more of a pvssy than you have already become.

Why would you even stand for a women who is riding some other guy like a pony and texting you on the side with repetitive bullsh!t?

Move on with your life, you live and learn and take this scenario as a big step in understanding yourself and women at a new level.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

You know what man I couldnt agree with you more I feel embarrased of how low of level I sank for this one girl. She was manipulating me always saying stuff like I know for sure we are going to be together again and just random song versus constantly. I think changing my number rids me of all the bad qualities like being needy, clingy, and insecure. Im not going to lie I felt a little uneasy about changing the number but there comes a point when a Man needs to stand up and have some pride.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

By the way im 21 and shes 17.
I seen my ex tonight at my cousins track meet. She tried to flirt with me at which point I ignored her, she tried to trip me than went on to jokingly call me little man at which point really pissed me off. Than this other guy that shes been with showed up and she was all over this dude not literally but like walking with him and just trying to get his attention, he just recently broke up with her. This is the same girl that said she loved me two days ago and begged me not to change my number. It pisses me off how we were together four years and she can just talk to another guy in front of me like its nothing. If she wants to play games then its on, it hurts but next time Im going to stand up and fight and im showing up with another girl.

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Bump

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Wow this girl some how was determined enough to find out my new number.
Its only been two weeks since I changed it!! But I aint giving in to her.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Wow this girl some how was determined enough to find out my new number.
Its only been two weeks since I changed it!! But I aint giving in to her.

How would she be able to do that unless you had it available in some way? Through some friends of yours?

 

[PimpOfTheSouth]

Im thinking probably through my cousins phone, shes bestfriends with my cousins Girlfriend.