Some of you guys have been following my little saga which led to me being dumped yesterday. Well, my sister saw I was a little down and gave me a few pearls of wisdom about women. I doubt much of this is new, but it was refreshing to hear an honest confession straight from the mouth of a woman.
She told me that when she is down, she will purposely take it out on her boyfriend, make him think he has done something wrong. Why? Because she wants his attention.
If they argue, she'll know that she is in the wrong and should be the one to apologise, but she won't because she wants the control and wants his attention.
If he has done something that bothers her, even something innocent and out of his control, like being kept late at work, she will say hurtful things to him and blank him. She knows she is being unreasonable, but she does this as a way of venting her frustration. If she hurts, then she'll do what it takes (like unreasonable insults) to make him hurt.
When she is low, she basically feels the need to test him as she feels consoled knowing that she still has an element of control over him.
However, when he supplicates to her, apologises or reacts in any of the ways she intends, she lets him sweat it out and withdraws her attention. Afterall, she is in control now and so she can take him for granted.
So I asked my sister "Why don't you just communicate your problems? If you told him what was bothering you, it could be resolved so easily". She explained that she likes to make him guess because it shows that he cares, he shows her more attention and it makes her feel good.
In short, she pulls these games and tests to make herself feel more secure in their relationship.
Now, when her boyfriend reacts in a way that is out of her control and shows he doesn't care, this is when she begins to sweat it. She fears that he has lost interest, she misses his attention, starts to feel insecure and she starts doing whatever she can to get him back.
This is your best defense against her games. You lose control for too long and you lose her respect and get taken for granted.
She told me that when she is down, she will purposely take it out on her boyfriend, make him think he has done something wrong. Why? Because she wants his attention.
If they argue, she'll know that she is in the wrong and should be the one to apologise, but she won't because she wants the control and wants his attention.
If he has done something that bothers her, even something innocent and out of his control, like being kept late at work, she will say hurtful things to him and blank him. She knows she is being unreasonable, but she does this as a way of venting her frustration. If she hurts, then she'll do what it takes (like unreasonable insults) to make him hurt.
When she is low, she basically feels the need to test him as she feels consoled knowing that she still has an element of control over him.
However, when he supplicates to her, apologises or reacts in any of the ways she intends, she lets him sweat it out and withdraws her attention. Afterall, she is in control now and so she can take him for granted.
So I asked my sister "Why don't you just communicate your problems? If you told him what was bothering you, it could be resolved so easily". She explained that she likes to make him guess because it shows that he cares, he shows her more attention and it makes her feel good.
In short, she pulls these games and tests to make herself feel more secure in their relationship.
Now, when her boyfriend reacts in a way that is out of her control and shows he doesn't care, this is when she begins to sweat it. She fears that he has lost interest, she misses his attention, starts to feel insecure and she starts doing whatever she can to get him back.
This is your best defense against her games. You lose control for too long and you lose her respect and get taken for granted.