An Aussie Chode Abroad (The Story of a Aussie chode living in Wales. ALSO SOTD!)

[Packers2010]

THIS IS PACKERS2010’S journal. Please feel free to post helpful tips. Also, look out for SOTD ( song of the day) I will post a song with every post I make.

Most of you have seen me around here a little from time to time. what most of you don’t know is the story behind the username. Packers2010.
Here are my basics.

Age: 22
Born: Perth Western Australia
Living now: South Wales
Problems: Gambling and talking to women (Approach anxiety)
Goals: I want to be A MOTHER FOOKIN BOSS! And teach this stuff to other guys.
How am I going to get there?: This thread.

HERE WE GO!


Today's song. is...........

Song title: Shelter From The storm
Artist: Bob Dylan.
Album: Blood on the TAPES
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnXP2NQxpeE

 

[Packers2010]

i feel lower then a limbo stick on carvial day.and that's as low as limbo sticks get

i really need a swift kick up the ass, i moved to this contry to change things. i didn't like the house i was in, i didn't like who i was, and i didn't like they fact that a girl could controls my every whim. yeah, she is only like a 4 and i loved her.. for 8 ****ing years. thing after 7 of them i got to **** her by divine miracle obviously.

thinks become harder when you listen to blink 182. good thing it's only on you tube and not on iTunes

i will attack this more tomorrow. . :box:

i will also get around to posting my life stony so far, tomorrow. it's late now and i have to sleep.

 

[Gray The Prince]

Here's something to remember about working on yourself: "A year from now, you'll wish you started today."

 

[runner83]

You are living abroad...fvck your old life, forget wasting your time posting your old life story.

Only post what you do from this moment moving forward, get out there and LIVE!

 

[rhythmic]

Nice! I'm in South Wales. I'd suggest teaming up, but I assume your Aussie accent would leave me dead in the water... Chicks love it

Will keep an eye on this.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

I'm also from Perth.

 

[Packers2010]

yeah.. one day i decided it was a good idea to write 10 pages. it was good to write it. It helped me deal with it, it put it on paper for me to say, yes this did happen, now it's over I can move on.

Today i am going to talk about goals

Goals:

1) To stop fapping.
i have a real problem with this. i spend about 5-7 hours a day fapping. it's a huge waste of time and i don't see why i need it. my brain and my **** just don't want to fall in line. i wake up.. it's fap time... i go to sleep... it's fap time. this HAS TO STOP no porn. no edging no nothing!

2) to control and maintain my AA
most people just say, go out and just talk to them. that advice is not helpful to me. i have been out trying to do day game. it doesn't work for me. i still end up in my head and i still end up not talking to the girl. the funny thing is, i have the ability to talk to a girl talk to a girl when a situation happens. say she trips up while walking or something. then If i see it. then i just open. but WALKING UP to them i can't do. i don't know why.. I need to sort this out. NOW!

3) loosing 23kgs.
I weigh ~ 100kgs my height is ~ 180cm. so i do have a but of a belly and a double chin. it's time to fix this. i have been watching what i eat for a few weeks now. i have seen a noticeable difference. witch my jeans being too loose. so it's a start. i just need to find the right diet and exercise program. i am going with the primal blueprint. witch is good.


4) gambling.
plain and simple i am addicted to gambling, thankfully i have always been to broke to loose TOO much money, but i have come to realize it has controlled me. i was never really good at poker but i played the life style down to a T. eve if i was broke. just thinking about it gets me excited. it's like seeing your " perfect 10" and having her bend over and say fook me now! it's like *HEAD EXPLODE!* so i need to stop. in ALL FORMS OF GAMBLING. even when i play pool. even when i play a video game and it has gambling in it. i have to stop! or i will start again.


5) becoming a better person.
i have being a " victim" mindset person over the years. this has festered into me being needy and desperate for social interaction and love. i can't get my head around the concept of " not caring" to keep the girl. what i mean by this is. if your excited to see someone or if you invest more then then girl. it's close to over in the long term. i know this is true because i haven't ever had a gf. i mean. I've had girls before and they have stuck around. but if you ask them if i was there boyfriend. they would all say no.

these are the 5 core principle i am working on right now.

 

[Packers2010]

I'm also from Perth.

oh sick, where about?

i was on the good side of the tracks in warwick there.

 

[Packers2010]

Nice! I'm in South Wales. I'd suggest teaming up, but I assume your Aussie accent would leave me dead in the water... Chicks love it

Will keep an eye on this.

he man check your inbox. i would LOVE to meet up! ( creepy i know)

i had a wing back in Perth and we was at the same level and it worked well. i did learn a lot from him, though at the time looking back i could have been a lot more better for him too. so know i know how to be a better wing. i think we could rock it.

 

[MM92]

Gambling is as addictive as any drug. I'm trying to stop gambling also, good luck!

 

[Packers2010]

Gambling is as addictive as any drug. I'm trying to stop gambling also, good luck!

oh yeah? what's your game?

what has helped me is doing this: take deck of cards and find the ace of space. once found write your name on it and keep it with you at all times. this is there to remind you that you have an ace up your sleeve.

 

[Packers2010]

meh...

my sound jack on my laptop decided to stuff up. so i stuck a screw driver in it and snapped it off. so now my laptop has: no sound, a screen that is falling off at the hinges and a big gaping hole in the side... but it still works.

i am going to buy a new laptop when my mum gets home from work... so pissed off at this peice of crap HP dv6 3031 anyway...

i watch a video yesterday on approaching. it really opened my eyes. it feels like it is easy now. might "drop some hooks" when i go get my laptop.. witch will be good. also going to practice my eye contact.

my mother told me the other day that she is thinking of going back to Australia, it was... hard for me to take. the house my mum part owns. ( my dad has half, bad divorce haven't sold it yet, even though she wants too) the house is... well... a crapshack going to hell. my room feels like a prision when i was in it. it's like a 2X4 square with MOLD on the walls and the windows. one had sexy in there like twice. it's the apitamy epitome of my chodeyness and i don't want to go back.

i'm not sure what i can do... i can't stay here on my own because i am broke, but i don't want to go back there because i want to burn that mother fooking house down...

not sure what i am going to do.. all i know.. is i will have a new laptop at the end of the day... any suggestions?

 

[Packers2010]

I have decided to write rules that I must abide by this week. Gives me something to focus on, plus it gives me time to implement things. I will also make a spreadsheet with all the rules to check them off each day.

Rules:
(In no order) ( every Sunday i will write new rules. Some will stay the same until I complete my goal. Eg: typing. Once I can touch type. I can practice it by typing. Right now I don’t know witch fingers go where. )

No fapping ( this includes edging)
Spend 30 minutes (min) a day practicing my typing.
Spend 30 minutes (min) a day reading
Do 30 pushups / crunches + back stretches a day.
Eat healthy meals (no junk food)
Complete to-do list
Spend 30 minutes (min) Working on stocks ( I learning how to trade Forex with meta trader 5)
Spend 30 minutes (min) working on raps. (Yeah... I’m a wigger. )
Spend 30 minutes (min) listening to vinyl records
Go out to the local pub on Friday and Sat nights
Turn off computer at 9pm every right.
No coffee after 8pm, only water.
Eat one piece of fruit a day
Shave every 3days
Get out of the house for 30 minutes ( min)
Study 30 minutes (min) of “game” a day
Spend 30 minutes (min) a day doing online “game”
Spend 30 minutes (min) chatting online. (Work on my conversation skills. Working on what to say and connecting with people better, yes i know it is better to do it in real life, but it is faster to hit up omgle and chat to some people for a bit.)
Say hello to 5 people a week (this seams low but I have HUGE AA so I am starting small, expect to this number to rise in the future)

I will update to this list if I have any more changes.

Let’s see how this week goes.

 

[Packers2010]

**** day is ****

To say i have done **** all today is an understatement. I feel like Wales has given me a lot of inner game, but I have not outer game to show for it.
Last night I had a dream, I’m not going to go into details but it involved my ex fb and it involved what we was best known for. Once me and her had ****ed each other’s brains out. I had another dream where i was with 2 girls and i was selling stuff to pay them to do things. Nasty things. So when I woke up this morning. My **** was harder the a concrete pole stock in the ground.

Needless to say, I fapped. After breakfast, I read some news on the internet. I proceeded to add some drake mix tapes to iTunes. After that I talked to my friend online. Then chain fapped. That’s right, I fapped once. Then straight after i felt like i need to do it again.

I know what people are talking about when they say that once you fap, your brain squirts a bunch of dopamine into your system. Because right now. I feel like utter ****. My hole mind and body feels like ****. I KNOW for a fact this is the reason I never get anywhere. I have felt this feeling many times before. The funny thing is, I can’t stop it. After not fapping for a day my brain went into over drive and told me i “ had to” fap. I had 2 sexy dreams about it. I’m thinking maybe I should get some drugs to kill my sex drive. for the time being. I know for a fact if I was able to talk to girls I wouldn’t get very far to start, so it would be ok to be on them for like 6 months and just be chill around them.
Before I go off on another tangent, I would like to say this.

WOULD SOMEONE ****ING EMPLOY ME ALREADY!
I have been on the phone with Vodafone for the past week trying to set up and interview for 2 days work! That’s right, it’s not even fulltime. Witch when i look at the direct. Gov web site it said it was! I passed all the ****ty Vodafone tests, so i got an interview on Wednesday, the women said I would get a call from them to confirm a time with them. Well when i didn’t get a call yesterday or today i emailed her. She called me back to tell me they didn’t know when it was going to be and they would call me. But I got threw! I should be SO Proud!

Right now, I feel like I could explode. But deep down, I feel like there are 2 me’s the guy who I want to be, and they guy I used to be . These 2 personalities are constantly clashing with each other. I don’t know WHO truly am right now. I know the “ game” as they call it has made me a much more confident person., yet, I still have huge AA. The best advice I have gotten is to “ just go out” so when I “ just go out” and stand next to the girl i want to talk to like a chode. It’s not going to end well is it.

At the same time i write that last line, i feel like i am just looking for a magic pill. Which is half true, all I want is to remove my AA then start to work on my game from the ground up. Everyone knows that feeling they get inside. We all have it, we all live by it. Mine is just worse by always having your mother with you. (I can’t drive to the bigger town, insurance problem. I’m 22 thank you **** whit boy racers)

Yes, I know your thinking, harden the **** up. Your 20 ****ing 2. But it’s not as easy as:

“Oh.. it’s time to harden the **** up. Ok. “

It’s not that easy to implement. You can’t just tell someone to go fish, if he is scared they are going to grab his balls and eat them.
Maybe I’m just depressed today since it’s raining; though this double shot of dopamine and coffee isn’t want the doctor ordered. It’s what a mad man would do.

 

[Packers2010]

Easter what is it good for? nothing!

Over Easter nothing happened. When i say nothing happened i mean, I got roped into doing a bathroom renovation in the place i am staying at, so for the past days I have been taking tiles off a wall and painting it. OH FUN!

A few things have happened though those days I will talk about.
1) I realized i put too much value in women’s looks. ( i realized this wile looking at porn :S)
2) I realized the importance of “ taking the blame from a women” IE not objectifying her or judging her about having sex. ( i realized this while looking at an anti rape ad campaign. Weird huh)
3) I learned at night, when i am trying to sleep. I think about things that have NO affect on my life. Stuff like. “If I ever won a grammy what would I say?” Or “ if i was in X situation with a girl, what would I say?” this has been really impeding me from sleeping for awhile now. Though last night I realized why. I just want to know what to say. Plain and simple. It’s worth nothing and I know I can never predict that.

That’s what I have learned. I have been reading the book “The game” which is a good read been trying to follow the stock market too. Though it’s been hard lately, since every day I wake up and have a paintbrush in my hand instead of a laptop. Plus I can’t crank Bloomberg on since I don’t own the tv.

On Sunday, I did go out to the local pub to see what it was like. Weren’t any girls in there expect a HB4 bartender. Still was a good time and I got drunk. I got a free beer also so I can’t complain. Well go back on Friday to see if it is better. Apparently it’s music night.

 

[Packers2010]

Today I went out to Carmarthen to do some shopping today, it's weird. My problem lies with talking to girls on the street.

I mean. I went into a shop today to look at a book. Then saw a girl around my age, without hesitation i walked up and asked for the book. Plain and simple. she went to have a look for me. when she came back i thanked her and that was that.

pretty crappy. though I don't normally do it so.. promptly or convincingly. it was sort of strange. I realized I did it well straight after I did it. Though when I am walking from shop to shop, I can't talk to no one. as I walk, I see girls and think, " oh I can go talk to them, or there are some more targets" though I never do talk to them I let them walk by.

maybe today was a big result and i don't even know it? I might not be " small chunking" it enough. I’m not sure.

i also learned that: i take what women say TOO literally. i have caught my brain out a few times after i saw this trying to make me forget the fact that i do!. it's really bugging me that my brain is so wired into being an AFC it wants me to forget it. brain playing tricks on me.

 

[runner83]

Sounds like over analysis mate.

I mean, if you are going out and walking around and the only thing you are thinking about is chatting up chicks, then that will show (no matter how subconscious it is).

Try to get ideas of thinking about it out of your head and just go with the flow as things happen, and also focus on your own goals (which I'm assuming you have...?)

I know you are trying to improve with la ladies, but focusing on it too much can sometimes cause you to go backwards.

Most of mine have come when I was just going with the flow and living my life.

 

[perseverance]

Packers, get your backside across countries and come to London. Aussies are huge hit with Londoners in general, London women love Aussie men, plenty of Aussies are flocking into London en masse.

 

[Packers2010]

“After the fall... things will never be the same”

Yesterday I went to Swansea on a day trip out. Went out for lunch with my folks, was nice. Then after that we went to a shop FULL of girls! I did not talk to one. Not a single ****ing one. I see them looking at me, Checking me out. Still nothing. This has been a big problem for me. I could never work out why? Until today.

Yesterday thought me one of 2 things.
1) I am putting more VALUE into the GIRL HERSELF then the interaction we would have if i did approach her.
2) I need more reference experiences of SOCAIL interactions.

I have never been a social guy. So why am I trying to talk to girls when I can’t talk to a guy I am not interest in?
I need to small chunk it even more. I hardly make eye contact with ANYONE. That includes my friends and family who I have known for the 22 years I have been on this planet. I need to start there and work my way up.

I have been in Wales 6 months or so now. It has taken me this long to get to the pub. I did, and it hasn’t been so scary. Everyone knows the Aussie who lives down the road now. It’s so bad. I don’t know why I thought it would be. I just need the momentum to keep going.
I have used alcohol to my advantage. Witch I know is bad. Since I have run out of money now, I might have to do this sober. Witch scares me a little. I thought I had more skill at this then I did. Witch I don’t. This weekend has shown me that I need to get the very basics down. Even if I just stand in the pub and talk to no one for an hour, it will still help me be comfortable in that environment.

I am caring less and less what people think of me, which is good. I don’t really think anyone at the pub acutely likes me. They just know about this random guy, who came from Australia.

Anyway, I’m going to go down there tonight and just soak up some social interaction. Then maybe after a little while I can talk to girls.

 

[Packers2010]

Sounds like over analysis mate.

I mean, if you are going out and walking around and the only thing you are thinking about is chatting up chicks, then that will show (no matter how subconscious it is).

Try to get ideas of thinking about it out of your head and just go with the flow as things happen, and also focus on your own goals (which I'm assuming you have...?)

I know you are trying to improve with la ladies, but focusing on it too much can sometimes cause you to go backwards.

Most of mine have come when I was just going with the flow and living my life.

I notice that, the second I am going out, JUST to talk to girls. I have already lost.

i just need to go out and think I am just going out to have fun.. instead of doing it to " take" something from them