An approach at Wal-Mart

[h_roberts]

You know, I'm going to reiterate again how much I appreciate finding this site and forum. I am posting quite a bit here but realize I am kind of lost at the moment still. Don't get me wrong, I've been working on some of this stuff for months on my own because I know it isn't rocket science, it's common sense.

The reason this forum will be helpful to me is because, among other reasons, my good friends and acquaintences aren't much help or support. Sometimes I feel like quite the loser when I talk about my dating woes. While they sympathize and even empathize, I think I come across as a bit too frustrated and even obsessed with meeting women and it puts them off. So you guys are going t be a resource for me (like it or not ha!)

I'll add, though, that many of my friends from work who I have gone partying with have commented that I'm fearless when it comes to approaching a woman. Indeed, I really am not afraid to walk up to the sexitest b!tch or group of girls in the club and attempt a conversation. It is "going in for the strike" that I fail at.

Let me tell you what I did today to work on my confidence a bit. I stopped at Wal-Mart to get a few essentials, and was passing through produce. There stood a young woman (22-28 range), average height and 110 lbs or so, large breasts, denham cutoffs with apple shaped rear, dark complexian with brown hair and eyes, wearing one of those single strap tank tops, a pastel blue color that accentuated her tan. Very, very attractive (one I'd consider out of my league) She was checking her list and stopped in the middle of the isle. I noticed her high heels, the kind that look a bit like sandles and have a solid heel from toe to back. I strolled by and said "I really like your shoes". It took her a second to realize I was adressing her, but she looked up and kind of taken aback said "Oh....thanks" and then went about looking at her list.

So, I took that as a bad vibe, or at least a situation that would require effort, and continued shopping. I figured if I saw her again at check-out or something, I'd try to continue it. So, I tried to think of something that would get her to relax and open up. As I headed to the cashier area I did notice she had gotten in line, the typical busy situation where she's behind 4 other shoppers and almost waiting next to the jewelry kiosk. As a woman in a electric cart squeezed by her, I took the moment to say, "I bet you were wondering why I complemented your shoes."...Her head snapped up reactively and she said, "Yes as a matter of fact I was!" but it didn't have the tone of "I was flattered and you are welcome to come on to me", but rather, "Yeah, WTF were you looking at my feet for, weirdo?"....So, I did the best I could and said, "Well, because you are a very attractive woman"...looking for the thing that would relax her a bit. If I had been more on my toes, I would have thought of something more complementary like "because they show off that tan" or maybe something witty like "I own stock in the company that makes them" or some BS, whatever....but no, I was bland and just said she was attractive. She did say, "well thank you" in that "Well it's nice to hear a compliment but do you know how many guys hit on me a day?" tone. Yikes, there just wasn't a window opening up and I started feeling uneasy. Well damn, honestly I was uneasy from the start, but I was doing my best to seem confident. I was smiling and making eye contact.

Anyway, I said something to the effect, "Good, ok then". And walked off.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just hearing something in a woman's voice that is solely in my mind, or if I just don't have the tanacity to sink my teeth in. This is pretty standard fare for me.

And guys, it kills the momentum of confidence that you build in yourself. This is the cycle that us "chumps" endure. When we luck up and have a success, we tend to think "this is it", and I know that I lose my game and go into seemingly needy mode with what I get. I realize it doesn't take much to make a woman think you are being needy.

The only time I do seem to get past the tuck tail and run phase is when I have two or three beers or drinks in me. Liquid courage helps a bunch. But I don't want to get drunk before going shopping! LOL

 

[pokerlife]

LOL awsome post man.. Way to hang in there. And im gona have to steal your line "Because i have stock in the company" If you would have used that one and the bich didnt laugh then she was a stuck up princess.

 

[Juando]

Props for approaching, dude!

Keep doing what you're doing as far as acting on your impulses, it will get better as you pack more experience under your belt.

Remember that even though at times women can seem like they ARE on a pedestal, seeming like godesses, that they are just people like you and me, and definitely flawed.

I'm not the biggest fan of C and F but reading your post made me root for you snapping a towel on this woman's azz. Who knows she may have been an impenetrable case but what do you have to lose by adding a stinger in there:
"I really like your shoes- I designed that style years ago. PAUSE. REACTION. Not really, you caught my attention and I wanted to meet you." Wtf, you have nothing to lose. She either starts to defrost or you move on, proud of your approach regardless of result.

I approached a hostess last night, she turned me down because she was married but what was most interesting to me was that her rejection was NOT generic. Very attractive Filipina, she stopped in her tracks to consider, here's this man, he's unabashedly interested in me, interested enough to ask me out, point blank. I did not let her off the hook immediately, either, I played with her: I said, married, too bad, no- just kidding, how's it going? She looked me straight in the eye and responded, "it's rocky". I gently let her down after that, there's more women, more opportunities, I don't need drama.

Don't be afraid to push it: I like your shoes, she goes back to her list, give her a second chance- so you always doll up for Walmart? What are you like mopping the floor, or do you even do that... who cares what she thinks, she either disappears or grabs your azz as a keeper. Play with them, that's why they're here!

 

[h_roberts]

Alright dudes, so far so good. Tonight, me and my wing man Mike went to this trendy restaurant/bar that plays live music and has lots of available women. We met a girl outside smoking, real cutey, and I made a comment about her shoes. She told me they were cheap and where she got them, and I proceeded to snap out the line about owning stock in the company. She said "Oh really" like a dumbass and I said "Damn is my bullsh!t working already?" She kinda giggled and said something about her sister being down from Cambridge, Mass and entertaining her and asking us to join them. OK, so what Mike and I did was leave the place for well over an hour. Went to another bar next door and met a female friend of his and her group (got her number too BTW)...Had some drinks with them and turns out one was a fitness consultant and I asked for her card (another number)...so eventually we got to thinking about the other girls and made our way back. I found my target and she was talking to a chump in a plaid-ish shirt. Young guy. He was into her. Alright, so I decide right then and there that I'm the Alpha and he ain't winning. I made my way to her and spoke her name and she turned and looked. I asked her if she had forgotten me already and she said no and pulled my name out of her almost drunken head. We went into the club and met her sister and I insisted she dance with me. She was hesitant but I coaxed her to the floor. We went and danced, but she was kinda expecting REAL COORDINATED dancing, like jitterbug or something. I was more like wanting to grind cuz I am not a dancer. She played it cool and we pulled each other close. Anyway, after the song we went back to the table and chump walks up and asks her tp dance. They go out and I play it cool, who cares right? So he really is a better dancer as far as coordinated crap, and she's flirty with him too...after the song they come back to the table and when he walks by I extend a hand to him to shake...he refuses...she's kinda hanging on him, but here is where I establish myself as the Alpha. I walk up when the next song starts, right in front of him while he's talking to her, and I grab her and and say "lets go". She hesitantly stands up and I pull her to the floor. More grinding, dancing and she's pulling me tight. I don't know if this was too much, but at one point she exposes her neck and collar bone and I started kissing it, working my way up and down her neck. She lets me do it and pulls me closer in. We grind some more and hug at the end of the dance. Turn around and chump is no where to be found. He and his bro evidently split.

So, I invite her back outside to chat...we go out and she starts telling me about her life, drunk open-hearted stories. I listen intently and tell some stories of my own. She says something about maybe we were supposed to meet tonight. She makes a comment about giving me her number and I whip out the cell to save it. She asks me to use the phone to take our picture and I did.

Anyway, we go back to the bar and its about time to go, the band stopped playing. I tell her I want to call her 2morrow, and kinda AFC like I said "is that OK?" (may be my big mistake, we'll see) She says yeah, and I kiss her on the cheek and hug her. Anyway, we leave the bar (my friend and I) and thats it.

So, I have her number. When I get home, I send her this text "Expect a call from me 2morrow night...my name"

No reply as of 2 am. Dont expect one and dont care.

Should I call or play a little ?

 

[jophil28]

Be man of your word and call her. Forget the 'playa' games and all the PUA tactics on the net. Just call her and get her to Starbucks, or walking in the park oer wherever - but call her when you said you would.

 

[KontrollerX]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16926

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16113

Here's a couple of Pook posts for you that I judged you could use based on your opening post.

 

[insidious]

h_, thanks for your field report(s). I appreciate your candidness, I think we could use more FR's. I wish they were as prevalent here as journals are in the H&F forum It's a welcome respite from keyboard jockey-ism and it's hard to criticize a guy who is trying and giving it his all.

I think your Walmart approach was slightly flawed...although your potential 'company stock' line was ****ing fabulous Add that to the great lines that never were. But you were smart, you added it to your repertoire for the next chance, because there will always be another chance.

And you saw to it that there was another chance, you created it yourself. Good work!