Ambiguous "Abundance"

[9Volt]

We always hear DJ's talking about having "abundance" yet never meaning what abundance they actually have of chicks.

Is this "abundance" simply chicks to approach? Or chicks who you think may want to get with you? Or chicks who you actually have slept with and can continue to?

If you speak of "abundance" you need to be specific in what the abundance is you actually have in regards to chicks and not just a "mentality" of "abundance" which is nothing more than wishful thinking then telling some other dude he needs to have "abundance mentality" which is basically telling him to be a wishful thinker himself but not actually possessing abundance of chicks that he sleeps with on regular rotation.

 

[Urbanyst]

I can only speak for myself, but here is how I see it. To me abundance is your ability to easily bring new women into your life without much effort or time. It means not worrying if your current relationship will work out because you can get another one.

Living in the city, I find meeting women very easy. I'm going on a date from a cold approach tonight actually. I can just approach women, and I'm having sex with them a week later. That is abundance to me. How easy it is to be a man wh*re.

 

[AlphaNate]

Abundance is that thing all hot girls have: tons of options.

 

[RangerMIke]

Abundance is that thing all hot girls have: tons of options.

Yep... Abundance = Options

 

[9Volt]

Abundance should only be counted when you actually have multiple chicks you can date that will date you or are. Not consider you having "abundance" simply because you live in a city with a lot of chicks as that means little to nothing.

A homeless bum could live in a big city with lots of chicks and claim he has "abundance" simply because there are tons of chicks yet none would go near him because he's a homeless bum.

"abundance mentality" is just as ridiculous as you either actually possess abundance or you don't. it's the equivalent of pretending you won the lotto when you didn't. delusional

 

[hockeyfreak79]

So OP you prefer to teach guys that tunnel vision and oneitis is the better outlook?

Guys have been brain washed to think you should only talk to 1 girl at a time or dating 1 woman at a time. Social conditioning BS.

If you don't like the "mentality" then don't practice it. With anything in life I always prefer to have a back up plan. It coincides with abundance, okay so plan fell through. No big deal, let's go to plan b!

 

[9Volt]

So OP you prefer to teach guys that tunnel vision and oneitis is the better outlook?

Guys have been brain washed to think you should only talk to 1 girl at a time or dating 1 woman at a time. Social conditioning BS.

If you don't like the "mentality" then don't practice it. With anything in life I always prefer to have a back up plan. It coincides with abundance, okay so plan fell through. No big deal, let's go to plan b!

Either you have abundance of chicks who want to date you, do date you or you don't. You can't claim "abundance" simply because it's your "mentality" without actually having abundance. It's just wishful thinking.

It's like working in a bank as a teller claiming you're a "multi-millionaire" because you're surrounded by money that's not yours.

 

[Urbanyst]

Abundance should only be counted when you actually have multiple chicks you can date that will date you or are. Not consider you having "abundance" simply because you live in a city with a lot of chicks as that means little to nothing.

A homeless bum could live in a big city with lots of chicks and claim he has "abundance" simply because there are tons of chicks yet none would go near him because he's a homeless bum.

"abundance mentality" is just as ridiculous as you either actually possess abundance or you don't. it's the equivalent of pretending you won the lotto when you didn't. delusional

Well you can't have abundance if you live in a corn field.

Living in the city and being a high value man gives you abundance. I have women come on to me often. I turn cold approaches into dates and dates into sex. I meet new women every week. If I decide I want to start dating a new woman, its very likely I can have a date set up with a brand new woman within a week.

And its not even hard. This city life feels like abundance to me.

 

[9Volt]

Well you can't have abundance if you live in a corn field.

Living in the city and being a high value man gives you abundance. I have women come on to me often. I turn cold approaches into dates and dates into sex. I meet new women every week. If I decide I want to start dating a new woman, its very likely I can have a date set up with a brand new woman within a week.

And its not even hard. This city life feels like abundance to me.

I hear you but anyone in a big city could consider it "having abundance" yet not being wanted by the same chicks they want. You have to be the man the chicks you want, want as well. Abundance to me is actually having multiple chicks on rotation. Not simply living in NYC.

Do I personally have "abundance"? No. Abundance of shyt to do. Abundance of people I know who know me. "abundance" of chicks no. Not because I "can't" get chicks it's just having a bunch of them is less productive use of my time.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Is this "abundance" simply chicks to approach? Or chicks who you think may want to get with you? Or chicks who you actually have slept with and can continue to?

It's a "feeling" of if you mess up on the current prospect, it's no big deal since you have plenty of others.

However, this can be difficult to cultivate from scratch. If you approach and number close, you'll get more rejections than lays, so even by approaching you might only generate an abundance of risk or rejection.

If you literally DO NOT have more than a few girls you know from experience that you CAN bang, it's fairly easy to trick your monkey brain into feeling abundance even when it doesn't technically exist.

And that is to be flirty with nearly every girl you encounter, but ONLY number close those you REALLY FEEL you have a strong "vibe" with.

Even if you haven't gotten laid in a while, having experience of flirting with,and NOT getting rejected by, plenty of girls in your recent past (couple weeks or so) you'll "feel" much less desperation with any particular girl.

 

[9Volt]

It's a "feeling" of if you mess up on the current prospect, it's no big deal since you have plenty of others.

However, this can be difficult to cultivate from scratch. If you approach and number close, you'll get more rejections than lays, so even by approaching you might only generate an abundance of risk or rejection.

If you literally DO NOT have more than a few girls you know from experience that you CAN bang, it's fairly easy to trick your monkey brain into feeling abundance even when it doesn't technically exist.

And that is to be flirty with nearly every girl you encounter, but ONLY number close those you REALLY FEEL you have a strong "vibe" with.

Even if you haven't gotten laid in a while, having experience of flirting with,and NOT getting rejected by, plenty of girls in your recent past (couple weeks or so) you'll "feel" much less desperation with any particular girl.

IMO "feeling abundance" or needing abundance is the sign of an insecure dude. If you need to rely on having multiple chicks or just "feeling you can get anyone" if something doesn't work out with one chick you're not truly confident. You're just needing a crutch. Most of these types need to constantly feel they have abundance or else their eggshell thin insecurities has them meltdown. That's not to say you think: "Oh I can't get anyone, no one will like me etc. It's just being ok even IF you don't have abundance and can walk away from a toxic situation regardless.

 

[Urbanyst]

I hear you but anyone in a big city could consider it "having abundance" yet not being wanted by the same chicks they want. You have to be the man the chicks you want, want as well. Abundance to me is actually having multiple chicks on rotation. Not simply living in NYC.

Do I personally have "abundance"? No. Abundance of shyt to do. Abundance of people I know who know me. "abundance" of chicks no. Not because I "can't" get chicks it's just having a bunch of them is less productive use of my time.

Well I said "Living in the city and being a high value man gives you abundance."

Not just living in the city alone. Being a high value man also.

A high value man living in a corn field will not have abundance. A high value man living in a place where there are lots of attractive women will have abundance. I don't think you literally have to have girls on rotation to have abundance. You have abundance if a large number of the female population finds you attractive.

Matt Damon has abundance even if he chooses not to take advantage of it. If he walks around NYC, or any American city a lot of women will be willing to sleep with him. I don't think you have to use it to have it. Just like if I live near 10 pizza places, I don't have to actually buy 10 pizzas to say I have an abundance of pizza options.

IMO "feeling abundance" or needing abundance is the sign of an insecure dude. If you need to rely on having multiple chicks or just "feeling you can get anyone" if something doesn't work out with one chick you're not truly confident. You're just needing a crutch. Most of these types need to constantly feel they have abundance or else their eggshell thin insecurities has them meltdown. That's not to say you think: "Oh I can't get anyone, no one will like me etc. It's just being ok even IF you don't have abundance and can walk away from a toxic situation regardless.

I've had long periods where I stayed single just to focus more on my interests. I don't need abundance, but I prefer it. Otherwise I have to masturbate all the time.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Abundance should only be counted when you actually have multiple chicks you can date that will date you or are. Not consider you having "abundance" simply because you live in a city with a lot of chicks as that means little to nothing.

A homeless bum could live in a big city with lots of chicks and claim he has "abundance" simply because there are tons of chicks yet none would go near him because he's a homeless bum.

"abundance mentality" is just as ridiculous as you either actually possess abundance or you don't. it's the equivalent of pretending you won the lotto when you didn't. delusional

Abundance is just having options on your terms. I am interested in an LTR with a '10%' woman, so I need to meet/ date a lot of women. I manage to do so, so I have a sense of abundance.

Abundance, for me, translates into something like my present weekend. I had three dates organized, two flaked [whoppee] while I am seeing the third one this afternoon.

 

[9Volt]

Abundance is just having options on your terms. I am interested in an LTR with a '10%' woman, so I need to meet/ date a lot of women. I manage to do so, so I have a sense of abundance.

Abundance, for me, translates into something like my present weekend. I had three dates organized, two flaked [whoppee] while I am seeing the third one this afternoon.

So in other words "abundance" is spam approaching.

 

[9Volt]

Well I said "Living in the city and being a high value man gives you abundance."

Not just living in the city alone. Being a high value man also.

A high value man living in a corn field will not have abundance. A high value man living in a place where there are lots of attractive women will have abundance. I don't think you literally have to have girls on rotation to have abundance. You have abundance if a large number of the female population finds you attractive.

Matt Damon has abundance even if he chooses not to take advantage of it. If he walks around NYC, or any American city a lot of women will be willing to sleep with him. I don't think you have to use it to have it. Just like if I live near 10 pizza places, I don't have to actually buy 10 pizzas to say I have an abundance of pizza options.



I've had long periods where I stayed single just to focus more on my interests. I don't need abundance, but I prefer it. Otherwise I have to masturbate all the time.

Agreed. though a lot of the "abundance" advice is literally too ambiguous. It's not specific in what abundance should be. Not a "mentality" but a reality. And the only was you get that is by being that dude many women not only want to date and be with not just simply being where an abundance of women are because if you aren't the dude they want to date you're only kidding yourself.

It' like a janitor at a club claiming he has "abundance" of women yet none of them pay attention to him.

Agree again you have to be that man chicks want to and do date etc. Not just have a "mentality" of "abundance".

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

So in other words "abundance" is spam approaching.

No, you're reading your own thoughts into it. If one has a confident and abundant mindset, you won't be running around spam approaching. Rather, you'll be out in the normal course of your day, and notice a woman noticing you. Have a chat, get the number, all perfectly natural and effortless.

Example, I went into a crowded Starbucks yesterday with a mate for a coffee. We strolled around looking for a seat, and then a lovely lady came up to tell me she was just leaving. I followed her to her table, well on the other side of this large coffee shop, and struck up a conversation. She was with a friend. Why did she approach me? Perhaps because I just looked calm and confident, not 'thirsty'. I didn't get her number as it would have seemed a bit forced. But who cares when you are getting enough numbers right?

 

[9Volt]

No, you're reading your own thoughts into it. If one has a confident and abundant mindset, you won't be running around spam approaching. Rather, you'll be out in the normal course of your day, and notice a woman noticing you. Have a chat, get the number, all perfectly natural and effortless.

Example, I went into a crowded Starbucks yesterday with a mate for a coffee. We strolled around looking for a seat, and then a lovely lady came up to tell me she was just leaving. I followed her to her table, well on the other side of this large coffee shop, and struck up a conversation. She was with a friend. Why did she approach me? Perhaps because I just looked calm and confident, not 'thirsty'. I didn't get her number as it would have seemed a bit forced. But who cares when you are getting enough numbers right?

Issue is you have to be the type of man women want already. You might be. If you work out, dress your best, groom your best and are outgoing, socially open and free then YES you can have abundance. But if you tell some dude whom you've NEVER seen on a forum to just "have abundance mentality bro" it's not only telling him to be delusional but you don't know if the dude looks like Quasimodo, is a weirdo, or has some deformity etc.

If you actually HAVE chicks that can and WILL date you. Then YES that's abundance. But simply telling some anonymous dude: Yo! You need "abundance" means little. It's like telling someone "just be yourself".

Abundance needs to be specific. Not "abundance" as in just move to a big city, or just "believe" you can get anyone. No. You must first see how the dude looks, acts, even his possible ethnicity etc. then tell him how to possibly get abundance as in a bunch of chicks who not only want to but WILL date him. Not just be around him in a location.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Yes, but abundance is something you can attain by bettering yourself, which is a process and takes time. There is no magic pill for it, it takes desire and work. Personally, I turned things around from getting zero dates, to now getting a couple a week... if I want them.

I am not particularly good-looking. I'm shortish with greying hair and pushing fifty. But I think I have a 'look' that certain women find attractive. Some things you can't work on, some things you can... and that's where I am all for 'inner game', but then I think inner game is really just becoming a better all-round sociable person. The problem is our ego and our pride can get in the way of that.

 

[SuckItUp]

9volt, I'd recommend you read a few books on philosophy ( I'd recommend Carl Jung's theories on the collective unconscious) that might give you further illumination on the topic.

Nobody is trying to suggest that a person has abundance simply by stating they have abundance or that they have abundance by proximity. These are just ways to begin down a path towards embracing abundance.

Now before you accuse me of spouting off about new agey bull****, I'm not. People just don't typically process the world with a great amount of depth because they are not forced to or choose not to do so mostly because contemplating about machinations of how things work usually freaks them the hell out. Oh and it interferes with their "routine/programming".

Now, with all that being said, try to think of abundance in the same way you'd think of confidence. Confidence isn't a tangible concept, but rather a sentient concept. I.E. We know when we see it and we know within ourselves when we are confident are when are not, but we can't objectively quantify it.

Abundance operates in the same manner as confidence, you can fake that you have abundance, you can convince yourself that you have abundance, but until abundance is ingrained as an involuntary belief, you truly do not have abundance.

This isn't just applicable to women. Abundance applies to getting the job you want, the success, and so forth. Why do you think so people posit the hypothetical winning the lottery scenario as a way for you to envision what should(want) do for a job?

 

[9Volt]

9volt, I'd recommend you read a few books on philosophy ( I'd recommend Carl Jung's theories on the collective unconscious) that might give you further illumination on the topic.

Nobody is trying to suggest that a person has abundance simply by stating they have abundance or that they have abundance by proximity. These are just ways to begin down a path towards embracing abundance.

Now before you accuse me of spouting off about new agey bull****, I'm not. People just don't typically process the world with a great amount of depth because they are not forced to or choose not to do so mostly because contemplating about machinations of how things work usually freaks them the hell out. Oh and it interferes with their "routine/programming".

Now, with all that being said, try to think of abundance in the same way you'd think of confidence. Confidence isn't a tangible concept, but rather a sentient concept. I.E. We know when we see it and we know within ourselves when we are confident are when are not, but we can't objectively quantify it.

Abundance operates in the same manner as confidence, you can fake that you have abundance, you can convince yourself that you have abundance, but until abundance is ingrained as an involuntary belief, you truly do not have abundance.

This isn't just applicable to women. Abundance applies to getting the job you want, the success, and so forth. Why do you think so people posit the hypothetical winning the lottery scenario as a way for you to envision what should(want) do for a job?

Problem is most talk about it but aren't about it. Most want the shortcut. The easy way to "abundance" without actually doing the improvements on themselves.

You cannot tell someone just "believe bro" and know nothing else about them. Its like someone coming to a mechanic for a problem and him telling the person instead of finding their problem with the car: You can drive any car you want bro. Just drive the car.