Am I supposed to want sex every day?

[DontThinkTwice]

For most of the advice in the manosphere, sex seems to be the end game. Lots and lots of sex, whenever and however you want it. While that seems cool to a point, I've never (and I mean, NEVER, even when I was a teenager) been one of those guys that wanted to have sex every day. Once or twice a week has always been good for me. So the issue I'm having is that the books I've read so far in this space plus most of the advice in these forums and similar sites assumes that sex is the most important thing in a relationship and you need to be banging constantly or always bringing it up with your woman in order for both of you to be happy. I'm a pretty healthy guy - I lift weights, do cardio, have my diet on track, get plenty of sleep and take a handful of good supplements - but this just doesn't sound appealing. Granted I have a very busy schedule, but in my free time there are tons of things I like to do, and sex isn't always on the top of that list. I do want a relationship with a healthy sex life but sex is probably the second or third most important thing to me in a romantic relationship, if that. Is this really supposed to be the focal point of a relationship? And if so, is there something wrong with me for not having that kind of appetite? Serious question here.

On the other hand, if there is nothing wrong with me and this is a normal thing - how do I reconcile the advice is this space and apply it toward meeting women?

TLDR - Is there something wrong with me if my sex drive doesn't seem to be as high as most 'healthy' males?

Is self care included in the 2 or 3 times a week or do you want sex that often and also do it yourself in between? Do you have ED issues when you do have sex? If you're concerned, Google low male libido and read up on causes.

How to reconcile this with the red pill? Sex is the most important because... Well that's why you are talking to her! If sex is the 2nd or 3rd most important thing on your list, then why not hang out with fun guy friends? You can go do fun guy stuff like fishing, shooting stuff, playing sports, drinking beers, etc. instead of getting coffee or watching the Notebook.

We go through incredible lengths as men to get women: building empires, lifting weights, learning game, go on pointless dates with girls that ghost us, swipe right a million times, get publicly rejected countless times to get with a hot chick. There's value in female companionship, but is that worth it for all the work it takes? We do much of this stuff for sex, and I am betting sex is more important to you than you are letting on here.

 

[TonyJ78]

Is self care included in the 2 or 3 times a week or do you want sex that often and also do it yourself in between? Do you have ED issues when you do have sex? If you're concerned, Google low male libido and read up on causes.

How to reconcile this with the red pill? Sex is the most important because... Well that's why you are talking to her! If sex is the 2nd or 3rd most important thing on your list, then why not hang out with fun guy friends? You can go do fun guy stuff like fishing, shooting stuff, playing sports, drinking beers, etc. instead of getting coffee or watching the Notebook.

We go through incredible lengths as men to get women: building empires, lifting weights, learning game, go on pointless dates with girls that ghost us, swipe right a million times, get publicly rejected countless times to get with a hot chick. There's value in female companionship, but is that worth it for all the work it takes? We do much of this stuff for sex, and I am betting sex is more important to you than you are letting on here.

So, part of the reason I am currently separated with my wife is because, after a couple years in a sexless marriage, I met a girl at work who had all the qualities I felt I wanted in a woman. A bonus was the incredible sexual chemistry, plus there may have been some astrology involved... Anyway long story short she turned out to be a con artist and had lied to me about almost everything. I'm honestly glad I didn't **** her because it would have hurt my soul lol. Being away from my wife, has been difficult. Before the sex stopped it was usually her complaining that we didn't do it enough. And I did have trouble getting it up toward the end partly because I stopped being as attracted to her and partly due to performance anxiety. But throughout the relationship I always valued the closeness, cuddling and all that more than the actual sex, though the sex could be amazing at times. So I guess that's why I'm wondering why it seems like my priorities seem to be different. I used to think it was a good thing that I wasn't 'like other guys' but now I know I was just a nice guy and that was probably what caused most of the issues in my marriage.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I’m sorry to hear about your plight in your marriage. I divorced for lack of intimacy as well. It was the symptom of much deeper issues in my relationship. It was tough for a few years but having several hot chicks to boink made it all the better. I’m having the best sex of my life now. Over this past weekend I had 4 women for long sessions (not at the same time). That’s the measure of my libido,

I’m one of those that can go for hours 3 times a day, when I’m with a hot woman I just cannot get enough, PERIOD. I too miss the nuclear home to some extent, if I’d even had 25% of the quality and quantity I get regularly now I would have stayed. I’m amicable with my ex, but there’s nothing there from an attraction standpoint, I worked hard to restore it to this point.

All this to say “I hear you”.

So, part of the reason I am currently separated with my wife is because, after a couple years in a sexless marriage, I met a girl at work who had all the qualities I felt I wanted in a woman. A bonus was the incredible sexual chemistry, plus there may have been some astrology involved... Anyway long story short she turned out to be a con artist and had lied to me about almost everything. I'm honestly glad I didn't **** her because it would have hurt my soul lol. Being away from my wife, has been difficult. Before the sex stopped it was usually her complaining that we didn't do it enough. And I did have trouble getting it up toward the end partly because I stopped being as attracted to her and partly due to performance anxiety. But throughout the relationship I always valued the closeness, cuddling and all that more than the actual sex, though the sex could be amazing at times. So I guess that's why I'm wondering why it seems like my priorities seem to be different. I used to think it was a good thing that I wasn't 'like other guys' but now I know I was just a nice guy and that was probably what caused most of the issues in my marriage.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You’re fine, I feel like sites like this cater to sex addicts in general lol. Im a sex addict because I’m constantly thinking of it regardless of if I’ve just had sex or not.

 

[BadBoy89]

I do want a relationship with a healthy sex life but sex is probably the second or third most important thing to me in a romantic relationship, if that. Is this really supposed to be the focal point of a relationship? And if so, is there something wrong with me for not having that kind of appetite? Serious question here.

I would say yes.

You have to be wanting to f every hot thing under 34, all the time. Heck every hot girl I see, even semi hot, I think “what would she feel like naked on top of me?”

Its all about sex (with hot women)

 

[RickTheToad]

For most of the advice in the manosphere, sex seems to be the end game. Lots and lots of sex, whenever and however you want it. While that seems cool to a point, I've never (and I mean, NEVER, even when I was a teenager) been one of those guys that wanted to have sex every day. Once or twice a week has always been good for me. So the issue I'm having is that the books I've read so far in this space plus most of the advice in these forums and similar sites assumes that sex is the most important thing in a relationship and you need to be banging constantly or always bringing it up with your woman in order for both of you to be happy. I'm a pretty healthy guy - I lift weights, do cardio, have my diet on track, get plenty of sleep and take a handful of good supplements - but this just doesn't sound appealing. Granted I have a very busy schedule, but in my free time there are tons of things I like to do, and sex isn't always on the top of that list. I do want a relationship with a healthy sex life but sex is probably the second or third most important thing to me in a romantic relationship, if that. Is this really supposed to be the focal point of a relationship? And if so, is there something wrong with me for not having that kind of appetite? Serious question here.

On the other hand, if there is nothing wrong with me and this is a normal thing - how do I reconcile the advice is this space and apply it toward meeting women?

TLDR - Is there something wrong with me if my sex drive doesn't seem to be as high as most 'healthy' males?

Certainly need to get some bloodwork done. Me, at 38 nearly always wake up with a boner and can go 2 - 3 times a day; which is about half of what I was doing 10 - 12 years ago. So, yea, go to your GP and tell him you have a low libido and low desire for sex. You would like to get some bloodwork done. Also, stay away from soy.