Am I Right in my Assessment of this Situation?

[MissingSomething]

So here's the story:

I'm mid-20s and she's early 20s. I met her at a party through a friend on friday night. We hit it off and had a lot in common. We ended up kissing a bit and exchanged numbers. After I left, she sent me a text saying how cute I am.

On Saturday, I messaged her and set up a date for that night in the local bar area. She agreed enthusiastically, then changed the plans to me just coming over her place after work. Again, she seemed excited about it.

I got to her place and was pretty sober, but she bought alcohol. We talked for a while (again, awesome conversation), then started making out hardcore. She stopped me when things started getting more hot and heavy and said "I have to get more drunk before we go further". After that, she started shutting me down more. I told her that I didn't care if we didn't have sex and that I was looking for something a little longer lasting anyway. She, then, told me about how she just got out of a relationship and she had been hurt (she didn't go into detail).

Anyway, I've been refraining from casual sex because I'm trying to get into a relationship and I haven't been masturbating so I was extremely horny that night. I had a bit much to drink and started pushing sex more. Eventually, she made up an excuse that her roommates heard us (they were sleeping) and wanted me to leave.

She walked me to the door, asked me if I remembered her name (which I definitely did and was surprised that she asked me that), and said to definitely text her. She was looking at me with puppy dog eyes during this whole time.

I texted her the next morning. She responded after a little while and basically seemed mad at me, saying "you were trying to get in my pants the whole night". I sent her a text explaining where I was coming from, what I wanted, why I acted that way, and asked for the opportunity to prove that I'm not just looking for sex. She seemed receptive (though less enthusiastic than she had been previously).

Today, I sent her a meme via text in the morning, an inside joke about something we talked about. No response.

I'm pretty unhappy about this because I liked this girl.

Clearly, I did some things wrong here and I don't deny that. Based on her lack of response and the situation, I'm guessing that a one of two things may have happened:

1) She thinks I only want sex, is hurt from her previous relationship, and doesn't believe what I'm telling her.
2) She was looking for rebound sex with me, then decided not to go through with it. She only saw me as a potential hookup.

Maybe both happened.

I got some advice from my friends. They advised that I mostly just drop it. Send her a text on friday asking her how she is, but don't hold my breath for a response. I will most likely run into her again (since we have mutual friends) and she may act like she doesn't know me at that time.

So what do you all think? Do you think my friends are right? Just drop it and move on?

 

[Greasy Pig]

You probably came across as too serious for her liking. Don't believe her anti-slvt BS. You came across as too nice and she freaked out.
If a woman accused me of trying to get in to her pants, I would just say: "I definitely was not trying to get in to your pants, I was trying to get in to your underpants."
I've had far more success pushing the envelope than trying to "nice" my way into bed with a girl.
And I've thing an older guy told me which has been proven time and again: "if a girl is in your home or your bed (or vice versa), she wants to fvck you."
You might've given off a desperate or "nice guy" vibe which turned her off. Maybe she's just an attention seeking bytch.
I'd go ghost for a while and then hit her up randomly for a drinking session.

 

[The Duke]

And I've thing an older guy told me which has been proven time and again: "if a girl is in your home or your bed (or vice versa), she wants to fvck you."

There's a lot of truth to that.

Missing- don't try and make too much sense of their words. Its just "noise". You are trying to apply a rational analysis to an irrational woman. You won't accomplish much by doing so.

You haven't done anything wrong other than you were a bit eager to set up a date to go out. I'd of let her sit and "marinate" a bit longer before I went out with her. It helps boost her attraction levels for you. People always want what they can't have.

Yep drop it and move on. If she thinks you are all that, she'll get a hold of you. They always do.

Go find some more girls. The more you have the more you get. Biatches breed Biatches was always my motto. It will make you less eager and you'll make better choices. That's why everybody on here is always saying to "spin plates". The man says in the drivers seat when he does this.

 

[KaneyMasen]

Did 7 close grip then hit muscle failure, did 5 more of those, then went to wide grip and somehow I was able to grind out 5 more.



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[MikeOck]

What happened? Umm, seriously? You knew this girl for 24 hours and you already brought up a relationship to her and are emotionally invested enough to let her make you unhappy? She is wondering if you remember her name and you are planning your future together. Step back, waaaaaaay back.

You came on too strong, too soon and sacred her off, and rightfully so. Keep some mystery, act like you have options and aren't desperate for love. She smelled it a mile away and now she is running for the hills.

 

[MissingSomething]

I've been into the PUA thing for a long time.

Unfortunately, I've also traveled to many different countries.

Don't you guys think it's ****ed if a girl ditches just because you show too much interest in her?

I was thinking about hitting her up tomorrow to ask her out again for friday (she ended up responding to my text). Now, I don't think I'll do that. Fvck American *****es.

 

[MissingSomething]

There's a lot of truth to that.

Missing- don't try and make too much sense of their words. Its just "noise". You are trying to apply a rational analysis to an irrational woman. You won't accomplish much by doing so.

You haven't done anything wrong other than you were a bit eager to set up a date to go out. I'd of let her sit and "marinate" a bit longer before I went out with her. It helps boost her attraction levels for you. People always want what they can't have.

Yep drop it and move on. If she thinks you are all that, she'll get a hold of you. They always do.

Go find some more girls. The more you have the more you get. Biatches breed Biatches was always my motto. It will make you less eager and you'll make better choices. That's why everybody on here is always saying to "spin plates". The man says in the drivers seat when he does this.

Yeah, I'm at a point in my life where I'm looking for more than that. I've done enough "spinning plates". I didn't like it and it ate up a lot of my time. I'm also in the military and work 50-60 hours a week. I don't find spinning plates to be fun anymore. It's kind of empty and hallow.

Unfortunately, yes, I realize western b*tches are all like this. Definitely looking forward to my contract ending so I could move overseas and then act in a way that is natural for me....and not have to play games all the time.

I've talked to a lot of people that have successful marriages (even those to American women). Not one got anywhere by spinning plates. They did multi-date and play the game to a degree, but it wasn't all about sex.

Yeah, I'll drop this girl, but I'm pretty pissed that I have to completely change my personality constantly just to be successful. Doing it for so long already has fvcked with my head enough as it is.

 

[Married Buried]

Once they put up the anti slut defense, don't do anything. Say "Fine no problem", turn on the TV and start getting into a movie or show and forget about her. Give her no attention. If she wants you to leave, say "good idea I got to get up early". Alot of the time they will come back and try to get your attention by being a slut again.

Don't try and reason saying you want something serious. That might have ruined it. Go ghost on this chic for a week to recover. Never tell them you want something serious. "Just got out of a relationship" means she is seeing multiple men not just you.

 

[Pair A Dice]

1. You turned into a chump after you brought up relationships and she just wanted to get fvcked that night.

2. Some other guy has his c0ck in her right now. Don't you wish you would have been first to hit it when you hung out?

 

[MissingSomething]

1. You turned into a chump after you brought up relationships and she just wanted to get fvcked that night.

2. Some other guy has his c0ck in her right now. Don't you wish you would have been first to hit it when you hung out?

Not really. Sex isn't all that difficult to get. I'm more interested in finding a woman that's actually a halfway decent person.

 

[MissingSomething]

Once they put up the anti slut defense, don't do anything. Say "Fine no problem", turn on the TV and start getting into a movie or show and forget about her. Give her no attention. If she wants you to leave, say "good idea I got to get up early". Alot of the time they will come back and try to get your attention by being a slut again.

Don't try and reason saying you want something serious. That might have ruined it. Go ghost on this chic for a week to recover. Never tell them you want something serious. "Just got out of a relationship" means she is seeing multiple men not just you.

After reading what people wrote in this thread, as well as another forum I posted in, I don't even want to hang out with this girl anymore. So ghosting will not be difficult.

Tbh, she's cute, but I've had way hotter. I just thought she was a decent person. Now I'm convinced that she's not. Thanks for the feedback.

 

[The Duke]

Missingsomething- if you truly are looking for a woman that is worth keeping long term, it's not going to be this one. Girls that are truly worth having long term won't play any games with your head and you won't have to run any game on them. They'll be puddy in your hands and place you on a pedestal. You will do no wrong in their eyes. No pua/plate spinning tactics needed.

I used to go out 2-3nights a week partying and was on 2 dating sites. It was all I did. I was constantly texting girls back and forth. Women pretty much sucked up all my free time. I had a ton of fun and it was pretty much a revolving door of random women but once I became good at it I realized I was going nowhere. I learned a lot about women during that time and it was a huge boost to my ego, but it wasn't something I could gain long term satisfaction from. I finally learned that I had what women want. I was like that HB9 that all the guys wanted.

But I grew tired of sharing my story/life with random women. That "empty and hollow" feeling as you described began to set in. Thats when I got more focused on my hobby/side career and women became secondary as they should. By now a woman's sechsual appeal no longer had much control over me. I didn't see them as something i must have! It was no longer about sechs.

My priorities about women changed. My requirements for the personal qualities one must posess were different. I refused to run game on them to keep them interested. I knew I had what they all wanted. I was the "catch", not them. They could jump thru my hoops from now on. I didn't care which way it went.

So if you are truly at that point where you have mastered spinning plates and you refuse to take their bait and play into their mind games then its time to find something of more substance.

But if women are something that can still control you some what then you need to keep spinning plates. You need to get to that point where you just don't care if they "come, stay, lay, or pray". By what I've read, I don't think you are there yet but only you know for sure.

I think the guys who are most successful in relationships are those who earned their PHD in spinning plates.

 

[MissingSomething]

Missingsomething- if you truly are looking for a woman that is worth keeping long term, it's not going to be this one. Girls that are truly worth having long term won't play any games with your head and you won't have to run any game on them. They'll be puddy in your hands and place you on a pedestal. You will do no wrong in their eyes. No pua/plate spinning tactics needed.

I used to go out 2-3nights a week partying and was on 2 dating sites. It was all I did. I was constantly texting girls back and forth. Women pretty much sucked up all my free time. I had a ton of fun and it was pretty much a revolving door of random women but once I became good at it I realized I was going nowhere. I learned a lot about women during that time and it was a huge boost to my ego, but it wasn't something I could gain long term satisfaction from. I finally learned that I had what women want. I was like that HB9 that all the guys wanted.

But I grew tired of sharing my story/life with random women. That "empty and hollow" feeling as you described began to set in. Thats when I got more focused on my hobby/side career and women became secondary as they should. By now a woman's sechsual appeal no longer had much control over me. I didn't see them as something i must have! It was no longer about sechs.

My priorities about women changed. My requirements for the personal qualities one must posess were different. I refused to run game on them to keep them interested. I knew I had what they all wanted. I was the "catch", not them. They could jump thru my hoops from now on. I didn't care which way it went.

So if you are truly at that point where you have mastered spinning plates and you refuse to take their bait and play into their mind games then its time to find something of more substance.

But if women are something that can still control you some what then you need to keep spinning plates. You need to get to that point where you just don't care if they "come, stay, lay, or pray". By what I've read, I don't think you are there yet but only you know for sure.

I think the guys who are most successful in relationships are those who earned their PHD in spinning plates.

Fair enough.

I can honestly say that I have no mastered spinning plates. I've done it before successfully, but I always ended up gravitating towards one of the women. Also, In general, I look back at that time and view it as a bad experience. I met some really ****ty girls when I was doing those things (clearly, I'm not meeting better ones now lol).

Tbh, I'm wondering if game actually messed me up. I got into it many moons ago after ending a successful long term relationship (my choice). For years, this girl was trying to get back with me. I played no games to get her and was genuine the whole time. Out relationship was awesome for a while. Since I learned game, I've banged tons of girls but had overall unsatisfying situations.

Also, I have a successful career and I spend a good portion of my time doing that. So I really don't want to have multiple women in my life, just one really cool one that complements my life. I'm starting to believe that this girl may be a unicorn and may not actually exist (even tho many of my non-game friends seem to have found them).

Either way, I'm done with this girl. Too much bs.

Thanks for the response.

 

[Married Buried]

After reading what people wrote in this thread, as well as another forum I posted in, I don't even want to hang out with this girl anymore. So ghosting will not be difficult.

Tbh, she's cute, but I've had way hotter. I just thought she was a decent person. Now I'm convinced that she's not. Thanks for the feedback.

Good call. All chics who say "just got out of relationship, don't want anything serious", means they are riding more c0cks than a ferris wheel.

 

[Big Nuts]

You pedestalized her despite knowing full well she has inhaled multic0ck!

Made the same mistakes as a youngin....always escalate...if she balks at your moves...go home. Only exception is, if she is a virgin and worth the wait.

She's swallowed goo and potentially done anal...why wait if you think like that???

 

[MissingSomething]

Good call. All chics who say "just got out of relationship, don't want anything serious", means they are riding more c0cks than a ferris wheel.

To be fair, she didn't say anything about not wanting anything serious. She said she was hurt very badly.

I don't know if this is true or not...and I don't really care anymore lol.

 

[MissingSomething]

You pedestalized her despite knowing full well she has inhaled multic0ck!

Well I don't know that she's doing that.

I did put her on a pedestal though, which was dumb.

Made the same mistakes as a youngin....always escalate...if she balks at your moves...go home. Only exception is, if she is a virgin and worth the wait.

Well I did escalate (arguably too much and too quick). In my experience, being persistent and slightly pushy is a good way to get sex.

This was out of habit though. I'm so used to doing that and I got drunk...so I just pushed naturally.

She's swallowed goo and potentially done anal...why wait if you think like that???

I'm not waiting. This is already too much work and too much bs.