Am I reallly being an *******?

[backbreaker]

My last GF, really the only LTR I have been in, lives in VA now (i'm in little rock) She has a BF now, and I am happy for her. I mean, better him than me.

Just so you know, I broke up with her about 5 months ago, because it just wasn't going to work, different religions, she has no goals, no ambitions, picks fights, etc.

Now, I haven't heard from her in about a good month, and she writes me an email asking me for $500 dollars.

So of course, I tell her, "I don't date you anymore, you aren't my responability".

So she throws a temper tantrum, and starts brining up "all the stuff she did for me" in the past.. which in reality amounts to buying $100 dollars woth of groceries, at least of monatary value and calls me an ******* becuase I won't help her out, and brings up the time that I was messing with a married girl behind her back..e ven though we weren't dating, or the fact that I kept talking to my old oneitis while she was there... howwever I wasn't trying to date her


So I basically write back and tell her in all honestly, she can kiss my ass.. not in thoose words of cousre, but you get my point.

Now, it's not about the money.. I have the money, I just don't see one good reason why I should give it to her.

Do you think I am being an ******* about the situtation? I mean, I don't think I am being an *******, but I have been known to have a squied view of reality at times and figured another opinion wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Oh, yeah, that and I have a GF that probably wouldn't appricate the fact (and rightfully so) that I am sending my ex $500. Now if she seriously needed the money and was single, like was going to get evicted needed the money, and I knew she wasn't lying.. I'm not going to let her get evicted if I can help it, I'm not that mean, but she just wants money for the sake of having money, because seh can't tell me why she needs it.

 

[Desdinova]

Do you think I am being an ******* about the situtation?

No. She is no longer in your life. The two of you have gone your separate ways and have moved on with your lives. If there's anything that needed to be settled, it should have been done around the time of the breakup. The breakup was basically an agreement to part ways and individually deal with whatever you gained or lost in the relationship.

 

[backbreaker]

that's what I thought. I told her, hey, ask your man for the money, that's what he's there for, and she called me "immature" for brining him up.

 

[Vulpine]

This is the "Mature Man" board.

But, when I was 22, I was in a similar situation. Control your emotions buddy - and your finances.

 

[backbreaker]

i'm about as mature as anyone else on this board.. I've been though/done alot at my young age of 22.. hell the girl I am talking about is 27

 

[GuitarPlayer]

In short, you did the right thing. As someone else said, she's not your problem anymore. This is like a stranger off the street asking for the same thing.

 

[Vulpine]

Just because the woman you are talking about is 27, doesn't make her a "Mature Man".

 

[Desdinova]

But, when I was 22, I was in a similar situation. Control your emotions buddy - and your finances.

LOL! You obviously aren't familiar with Backbreaker's financial situation. He started, ran, and sold his own business.

And if you're wondering what "mature man" issues are here, the issue may be her knowing that he is financially well off, and that she can just ask him for money because he has plenty, not because he owes it to her.

 

[speedo_meme]

If you give that b1tch $500, you should have your nuts cut off and mailed to your mother, just for general principle...

 

[Vulpine]

His starting a business, running it, and selling it has no bearing on his maturity. I've done the same. And, coincidentally, when I was 20-24. But it's not a flag I fly. That money is locked away in retirement accounts, and safe from golddiggers.

Come to think of it, kids have lemonade stands when they are 5. Five-year-old boys who have candy also have a gaggle of little girls who want some of that candy, too.

I'm not sorry for pointing out that the thread could be moved. I'm not belittling his problem, either. Let me be more constructive:

The first and only mistake he made was to respond to the e-mail. Since the damage is done, stop responding to her e-mails/answering her calls.

 

[backbreaker]

this isn't a pissing contest, nor do I want to make it one.

I was just looking to make sure I wasn't being an ******* about the situtation.


About the mature man theory... It's not like when you wake up in the morning on your 25th birthday, you are just all of a sudden "mature"... maturity is a process.. for some it takes longer than others, for others it happens rather quickly.

Alot of the problems I have most people my age wouldn't comprehind, because I have been put in unique, good and bad, situtations over the last 5 years.

Yes, did start my own company from literarly nothing, built it up, sold it.. but that doesn't necessarly make me mature, I will be the first to tell you that.. Hell I don't have to look any closer than my own business partner at the time, who might be the most immature guy I have ever met.

Being kicked out of the house at an early age for following your dreams, and knowing that you literarly have no where to go because neither of your parents aren't all that interested in helping you out, even though they could, makes you grow up faster than you would like to. One aspect of running my company is that i had to deal with people two, sometimes three times my age on a daily basis. Yes, I'm 22 and I like young men things, but at the same time my prorities are in order and always will be because of some of the things i have been though.

Even though I am my age, I very very rarely mess with women younger than me or my age. One of the things they usally all tell me is that I am more mature than my age. My Ex, the one I am reffering to, has another ex that is 32 and he's pathetic; does some of the things that I wouldn't do BEFORE I came to this site, but because he is 32 he is considered a mature man?

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

Am I reallly being an *******?

No your just being a women about it.

She blew up at you because you said this,

So of course, I tell her, "I don't date you anymore, you aren't my responability".

===

Now, it's not about the money.. I have the money, I just don't see one good reason why I should give it to her.

Your right It’s not about the money it never was because it’s about your feelings towards her. You still have feelings for her enough to cloud your judgment and making you rethink your logic decisions.

If you want to give her money then do it if you don’t then don’t. But don’t ask other people how to spend your money.

All I know is that your still hung up about this girl and it’s affecting you big time.

 

[speedo_meme]

I wasn't starting a pissing contest, I just wanted you to see it how I, a neutral party, saw it. YOU percieved it as an insult because you have feelings for this girl and it is clouding your judgement.

Eat some red meat, drink a budweiser, get angry and beat a punching bag and pretend it's her face. Then never think about her again...

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by OneArmDeeJay
Am I reallly being an *******?

No your just being a women about it.

She blew up at you because you said this,

So of course, I tell her, "I don't date you anymore, you aren't my responability".

===

Now, it's not about the money.. I have the money, I just don't see one good reason why I should give it to her.

Your right It’s not about the money it never was because it’s about your feelings towards her. You still have feelings for her enough to cloud your judgment and making you rethink your logic decisions.

If you want to give her money then do it if you don’t then don’t. But don’t ask other people how to spend your money.

All I know is that your still hung up about this girl and it’s affecting you big time.

It's too bad the world isn't a series of memoriezed quotes and tactics, or else you would be the best DJ on earth.

Do I have feeligns for her? Not the slightest. As a matter of fact, breaking up with her is the best thing I have ever done.

BUT

we get along. I don't hold a grudge against her. We talk about every other week or so to see how each other are doing..

When I first met HER, I wouldn't date her for 6 months.. from June until Decmeber we talked, went out, did **** together, but I wouldn't say "yes" becuase I wanted to be friends first.

And even when I decided I wanted to in a different direction, it wasn't any heated arguement or anything.

I'm dating someone else. I started seeing 2 other girls about 2 weeks after we broke up.

BuT

for instance.. my mom and dad got a divorce when I was 7. However, there is 0 beef between them whatsoever. They don't like each other like THAT, but they are best of friends. They visit each other, talk on the phone, babysit each other's kids (my little brothers and sisters), hell my mom was my stepmom's bridesmade in their wedding


So say, my mom calls my dad up and asks for say.. 300 dollars (which wouldnt' happen because she makes more than him, but you get the point) and he says "sure, here, pay me back when you get a chance"

Does that mean that he has deep feelings for her that he hasn't gotten over? That he still loves her with all his heart?

No..

it means he is helping out a friend, just like I would do any of my other friends, male or female, if necessary.

Now, my friends very very rarely ask me for anything, so that's a problem I usually don't have to run into

And I don't think you got the entire message. It wasn't the fact that she has a man to give her money. I mean, she does, but if it were an emergency, where she REALLY needed the money, I really wouldn't have a problem, and I probably wouldnt' ask for it back, regardless of what she thinks of me, I'm not going to let her live on the street or something like that.

If I knew she really was in a tight situtation, I would call her mom, who lives down here, and ask her what's going on. If her mom confirmed what was going on, and that she was in a tight bind, I wouldnt' have a problem letting her have the money.. assuming it was resonable

But she just wants blow money.. THAT she has a man for.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by speedo_meme
I wasn't starting a pissing contest, I just wanted you to see it how I, a neutral party, saw it. YOU percieved it as an insult because you have feelings for this girl and it is clouding your judgement.

Eat some red meat, drink a budweiser, get angry and beat a punching bag and pretend it's her face. Then never think about her again...

umm... I wasn't talking about you.. I actually liked your advice

 

[Desdinova]

Backbreaker, I agree with you 100% on what you've stated.

However, there are very few men I know at your age who have been asked for a fairly hefty sum of money. Most of the guys I know and knew at your age were pumping gas, flipping burgers, or in college. I know nobody at age 22 who is well off financially. From what I've seen, men aren't financially well off until they're at least in their 30s.

Now, to look at the other side of things...

hell the girl I am talking about is 27

If this girl were to come on here and say "I asked my wealthy ex-boyfriend for $500 for new shoes and he won't give it to me" she would have all rights to post here although she's definded herself as immature.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

This has been beating to death, but I'll jump on because I respect you.

You did NOTHING, I repeat atop the mountains with a bullhorn, NOTHING wrong.

A man WHO is not even married has NO obligation to pay for a woman. Pay anything for a girl. Nothing. Nada. Women, don't like it? Find chumps who WILL willingly pay so you're on GOOD behavior all the time.

Her claims are only MORAL, whiney, emotional arguements. She's trying to guilt you to her way. Hence, emotional warfare. That's something women CAN be good at IF men do not see it, BUT they're normal response when you've busted their spot is to get ANGRY, NASTY, BYTCHY, WHINEY, LITTLE-GIRL LIKE, and so on. She basically acts like a BYTCH, a HOOCH, or a little girl that did not get her pony.

You owe nothing, b/c you probably gave 10x what she had. MOREVER, she has a man.

If I were you, I wouldn't even consider talking to her.


A-Unit

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Desdinova
Backbreaker, I agree with you 100% on what you've stated.

However, there are very few men I know at your age who have been asked for a fairly hefty sum of money. Most of the guys I know and knew at your age were pumping gas, flipping burgers, or in college. I know nobody at age 22 who is well off financially. From what I've seen, men aren't financially well off until they're at least in their 30s.

Now, to look at the other side of things...


If this girl were to come on here and say "I asked my wealthy ex-boyfriend for $500 for new shoes and he won't give it to me" she would have all rights to post here although she's definded herself as immature.

well stated, thanks

 

[AbsoluteFreakinChump]

Wrong Forum Buddy...

This Forum is for men 25 & older.
If I read what You said correctly, You are 22 right?
If so, you are posting to the wrong forum.
It doesn't matter how "mature" you think you are.

Originally posted by backbreaker
i'm about as mature as anyone else on this board.. I've been though/done alot at my young age of 22.. hell the girl I am talking about is 27

 

[Vulpine]

Good, I didn't mean for any hard feelings.

Perhaps it was HER immaturity that set me off. I mean, let's all laugh at this guys:

A 27 year old "girl" asking a 22 year old ex-boyfriend for financial support? That's actually hilarious.

Way to sum it up Desdinova.