falconslax89 said:
ive attempted to keep it mostly sexual and not get myself too attached. she is ALWAYS the one to call,
text, IM me.
This is
... But i wouldn't get too carried away with making sure this is how it is (in this relationship and future ones)... I can say certain women who i don't really care about - are put in position where they have to do this 100% of the time. Ones i do have some feelings for - i do this in a 80/20 split. For every 8 times this contact me with an idea - i contact them twice. This can allow them to believe you care just enough...
falconslax89 said:
she seems like she is getting very frustrated, as i can tell just by being around her as well as what both my friends have noticed and her friends have told me.
Of course. She feels like you don't care about her. She also feels like her femininity is being challenged. When women are with an alpha male - they will do everything in their power turn him into a beta. Failure to do this CAN result in certain women going nuts. Especially if she's never been with another true alpha male before.
falconslax89 said:
dont let her know how much i like her. i have read many experienced posters here say to keep this stuff up months into the relationship because the second she gains the power it could all be over...
It's ok to show you like her. It's not okay to give up your power. It's not ok to get needy. You can show women you care about them without doing either of those 2 things..... Your love, affection, attention and leadership should come with a price though - and that's her good behavior.... When she's acting good - you can be good back to her; otherwise you're just being an @sshole. When she's acting bad (like now) - that's the worst time i can think of to give her those things.
falconslax89 said:
when i try to explain this to my friends they think i am nuts. they tell me to talk to her, tell her how i feel, always be there for her...etc. basically stop driving her nuts with how nonchalant i am about everything . i guess i am just having trouble finding the medium.
I stopped trying to give or listen to advice from my friends a long time ago. A Medium isn't needed, just a delicate balance.
falconslax89 said:
she tells me that she feels like i am not serious about being in a relationship. that she doesnt want to be with someone she feels could walk away at any minute. that she doesnt know if we should do this anymore because of these things...
In woman-nese, she is saying: "I want your balls and you won't give them to me!"
It's a natural process of betaisation, and this is what seperates the true alphas from the ones who are just acting.... You really have no choice right now - the position you are in is - you stand your ground - she lives with it or truthfully leaves your life (85% chance this
won't happen).
If at this point - you got all chumpish and confessional about your feelings to her.... she would say, "ah ha! i knew he was just a softy under that hard frame! I knew he's give in when i threatened to take the amazing ME out of his life!!! ahhahaha"
Instead, im POSITIVE she will continue to send you texts and messages about how much she feels like you don't love her, like her, wants to really be with her, etc. Instead of being so cold in your responses back to her - LEAD HER! Tell her what to feel! It's really simple....
Jamie
im having a really hard time
4:51pmMe
with what jamie
LOL "I'm having a really hard time" from a woman through text is almost always = "im about to dump some bullsh!t on you!" ... My detector would have went off instantly... Instead of "with what jamie" I personally would have just tried to see her right away...
Jamie: "I'm having a really hard time"
Bukowski: "Well, come see me and we can have a hard time together baby"
4:52pmJamie
i just dont think we should do this anymore
4:53pmMe
ok..
If you're going to go with "ok" you must then stick by it. (i'll show you why you didn't in the next exchange).
Jamie: "I just don't think we should do this anymore" (cliche beta attempt #2)
Bukowski: "You mean laugh, have fun, relax, and enjoy each other?" (this is what i do under situations like this. and it works pretty much all the time. It's a counter-manipulation move to go against their manipulation. What you're doing is giving her an OUT though... An option to backout of what she just said. Most of the time, a woman will type something like that and sit there and think about if they want to send it or not; then when they do - they'll be nervous about the decision. - - - By giving her the options to come back in from the storm - she will most of the time.... She will either say, "no it's not that, it's...." or "you don't seem like you do that much with me...." and then you can just lead her by going more into how much fun you guys have together, how much fun it is to relax/sleep with her, etc.)
4:55pmJamie
its just really complicated and i dont need to be worrying about it. and you said all of that stuff last night that makes me think you dont want it anyways which makes me feel like were wasting our time
4:57pmMe
dont need to be worrying about it?
alright..
whatever if thats what you want
See... your response of "whatever if that's what you want" just reeks of weakness to me. I have no idea what you said last night - but im guessing you're overdoing your alphaness a little too much and bordering on being an @sshole. So, i'd say something like this....
Jamie: its just really complicated and i dont need to be worrying about it. and you said all of that stuff last night that makes me think you dont want it anyways which makes me feel like were wasting our time
Bukowski: I don't want you to worry about me either, i want you to have fun and enjoy life. There's plenty of guys out there who will have proposed marriage to you by now. I guess im just too much of an ******* for you... better you find a nice guy. (women know "nice guy" = boring. Note: she'll probably call you an @sshole at this point... but love you NO less.)
4:58pmJamie
i mean you dont want a serious relationship and that's fine but i dont want to waste my time with someone who might change his mind any minute.
Bukowski: I'll never change my mind any minute about having fun. Anything that provides that to me - sticks around. (my constant mention of "fun" is not a mistake.)
5:07pmJamie
im sorry, but honestly the last thing i need is someone who could care less if were together or not. Im not one hundred percent sure that's how it is but it feels like it a lot
lol.... her, "I'm not one hundred percent sure that's how it is but it feels like it a lot" is CLASSIC! She's basically begging for you to tell her not to go, to tell her your feelings....
"OPEN UP TO ME" in any form = "GIVE ME YOUR BALLS! Why won't you give me your balls?!?!?!" - - - Most guys (including players) lose their balls at this point.
Don't be most guys...
Don't know what's going to happen from here.... but i imagine good things if you stand your ground, and work on leading her emotions a little better...
