Am I playing this right ?

[jackhamma]

This girl I work with is hot. Younger. Hispanic. We bumped into each other at a mutual friends Holiday party. I ended up telling her "lets go get drinks this is lame." and she came with me, we had a great time.

Since then were both real low key at work. I only bump into her when I want to because were in different departments. Shes turning 22, still has that young wants to have fun mentality but she is a go getter. Drives high end cars, wears pricey clothes, she does things that aren't strictly legal to make her $$$ but hell who am I to judge. Her texting me is random, short, but she reaches out from time to time.

This past saturday I saw her leaving work and she said to me "what you doing tonight?" I said "going to get drinks with you" she laughed and said okay lets go.

We had a blast. She was very flirty, lots of kino but she keeps mentioning how every guy she ever meets rushes and tries to lock her down or bang her right away so I have been playing it cool and not outcome dependant as possible.

I have been playing it like I don't give a crap and it seems to be working. She doesn't text back, who cares, she can't come out, who cares. I seem to be standing out because out of all the guys at work she is going out with me. She even bought the drinks on Saturday!

So because I am playing it so cool, she makes comments like your older the me right? good I like older guys. A few more comments like that. I am outspoken and so if she, she seems to enjoy when I put her in check and lead the night on what were doing, what were going to drink etc.

I know body language. Her body, words when were out screams she is attracted to me but she is a young hb and wants to see if im like every other dude whos gonna try to pound her by the 3rd hang out.

So I am playing it cool. High kino while were out, a lot of teasing etc. but twice now when she drops me off home she gives me the cheek. Do I just keep doing what I am doing?? The old me is thinking try to kiss her try to bang her but I know if I push ill look like every other guy....

Am I playing it right? By playing it like this she has to want to bang when the times right no? Thoughts!

 

[Eph]

Could be wrong here, but it sounds like what she's really saying is, "get to know me first. Then we'll fvck". They tried to escalate too fast, and so her ASD kicked in. Seems like the key piece other guys were missing with her is seeing her flirting as a "green-light" for sex. It may have been a green-light to escalate a bit, but not necessarily for sex. Keep doing what you're doing, escalate and re-calibrate as necessary, but get to know her. Or at least pretend to. Get her talking about deep things. But keep flirting and dominating her. If you don't, you risk ending up in the friend zone.

 

[Krueg]

I've dated two women from work. Long story short... Neither worked out. I've had people in the past recommend I shouldnt date women at work. But, me being young, horny and not giving a sh!t - didnt listen and crashed/burned later. And when the relationship doesnt last, guess who you get to see everyday after the break-up. Not only was I warned and learned my lesson later. I also got to see first hand other relationships in the work-force crumble. Not a pretty sight!

 

[jackhamma]

Could be wrong here, but it sounds like what she's really saying is, "get to know me first. Then we'll fvck". They tried to escalate too fast, and so her ASD kicked in. Seems like the key piece other guys were missing with her is seeing her flirting as a "green-light" for sex. It may have been a green-light to escalate a bit, but not necessarily for sex. Keep doing what you're doing, escalate and re-calibrate as necessary, but get to know her. Or at least pretend to. Get her talking about deep things. But keep flirting and dominating her. If you don't, you risk ending up in the friend zone.

That's exactly what I was thinking. I ALWAYS after a few "dates/hang outs" whatever the girl considers it, I get impatient and become overly aggressive and think "if she won't at least kiss me by our 3rd time then F her!" BUT I always lose when I do that.

I understand dating people at work is a problem, but I do not need to see her unless I want to. So if things go sour, she is easily avoided/no way needed for what I do.

I mentioned on Saturday "I hate when people know each other for 2 weeks and they want to become serious." and she replied with "Right!? why not go out and have fun with someone and see what it turns into!" So she is literally indirectly telling me "hey I want to see if your trying to slam me like every other guy."

So I will play the game, get to know her, but continue with the kino, SLOW escalating the more we go out, if we go out again.


Do you guys agree that by being aloof, not reaching out/contacting her unless I am asking her to do something is the best play? It is something I NEVER stick to and its time to try it. Thoughts?

 

[Meisterman]

Next time you're with her put yourself in a position where you can make a move BEFORE you drop her off. It's more awkward if you're leaving and THEN try to make a move. Instead try to invite her over for a movie date at your place or hers. You can figure out the rest from there...

 

[pyros]

I cant believe how naive some of the members of this forum are...

See this tiger:

1- she rarely texts you.
2- SHE REJECTED YOUR KISS TWICE, you say.

If she was INTO YOU she would be excited to kiss you not reject you, dumbass. It does not matter what she says about guys trying to bang her etc. IF SHE WAS INTO YOU she would want to kiss you, she would text you often etc.

Not that complicated really. But hey, if you prefer to think that you have to put her on a pedestal, treat her 'right', and wait for her to decide whether she wants to hang out with you or not etc, so be it. Clearly you do not understand how attraction works.

My advice: stop wasting your time with her.
LMAO...

 

[jackhamma]

I cant believe how naive some of the members of this forum are...

See this tiger:

1- she rarely texts you.
2- SHE REJECTED YOUR KISS TWICE, you say.

If she was INTO YOU she would be excited to kiss you not reject you, dumbass. It does not matter what she says about guys trying to bang her etc. IF SHE WAS INTO YOU she would want to kiss you, she would text you often etc.

Not that complicated really. But hey, if you prefer to think that you have to put her on a pedestal, treat her 'right', and wait for her to decide whether she wants to hang out with you or not etc, so be it. Clearly you do not understand how attraction works.

My advice: stop wasting your time with her.
LMAO...

Honestly I know your probably right. Been down this road too many times. I KNOW the girl is no good. From the things she says, to the red flag signs of ways she makes money etc. Yet I pursue. See I always was impatient about every girl who wanted to take it slower...always thought "if she doesn't want to kiss me or bang me by the 3rd time I am dropping her!" and I feel like I miss out. Why do I feel like that? Is the slow play the wrong approach??

 

[pyros]

One thing is to take things slow, ie, not rushing sex, but another very different thing is NOT EVEN KISSING YOU AFTER TWO DATES. Do you understand?

'Taking it slow' would be not having sex on the first, second...third...date, getting to know each other, not rushing into a relationship after four dates...not intrdoducing your kids to her on the sixth date...things like this, get it?

The things is she's likely an attention wh-ore who has a couple of guys like you taking her out from time to time, driving her where she needs to go...etc in the hopes that she will eventually have sex with you.

See this, if she hung out with a guy she really likes...SHE WOULD LIKE HIM TO KISS HER ON THE FIRST DATE, or second.

Besides she has some HUGE red flags which make her a trashy, not worth it, avoidable girl.

 

[RangerMIke]

Judge her by her actions. Don't believe anything she says. It really is that simple.

 

[jackhamma]

One thing is to take things slow, ie, not rushing sex, but another very different thing is NOT EVEN KISSING YOU AFTER TWO DATES. Do you understand?

'Taking it slow' would be not having sex on the first, second...third...date, getting to know each other, not rushing into a relationship after four dates...not intrdoducing your kids to her on the sixth date...things like this, get it?

The things is she's likely an attention wh-ore who has a couple of guys like you taking her out from time to time, driving her where she needs to go...etc in the hopes that she will eventually have sex with you.

See this, if she hung out with a guy she really likes...SHE WOULD LIKE HIM TO KISS HER ON THE FIRST DATE, or second.

Besides she has some HUGE red flags which make her a trashy, not worth it, avoidable girl.

Honestly I didn't look at it that way. You are so right. You want to laugh? I read your response this morning before work and was thinking about it...I get to work and guess who drives in with her 80k car...the girl. Because its slow today all the managers and a few co workers are standing around talking about this HB on how the hell she drives a car that pricey with the money she makes etc. She was the talk of the morning lol. bad news she is.

To confirm what you said I heard just a few minutes ago she went out with another co worker recently..now I dont know who and if its true, but if it is am I just guy#32 lol?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Pyros already said but it & he's 100% right, there are some naive member on this forum.

You are making a classic rookie mistake, which shows your lack of understanding of how game/attraction works.

What you might not realize is you have already lost, with your current mentality.

You are trying to be different and stand out from the other guys, but just that very mindset is you playing by her rules.

As Ranger Mike said - "you judge women by their actions, not their words." This should be ingrained in your mind when you are interacting with women. How many times have you seen/heard a woman say one thing & then do another?

"I'm not going to sleep with him, he's a player" - sleeps with him
"I'm only going to have one drink tonight" - blacks out on the bathroom floor
"I don't sleep with a guy on the first date" - sleeps with him that night

Women inherently are always testing men, its not necessarily conscious; its part of their way to weed out the pretenders and weak. In nature two males will fight each other to show the female who's the dominant male and who gets to mate with her.

Humans do the same thing, just in a different manner.

Aloof game only works when the girl has interest in you, especially if she's super hot. Meaning she's not sure if you like her, not sure why your different but she's intrigued.

In this case while you have shown confidence and wit, you're just like the rest.


This girl should only ever be a piece of @ss with her shady behavior and likely stripping/escorting on the side.

To get her you have to first truly not give AF & get her to start chasing you.








PIMP

 

[jackhamma]

Pyros already said but it & he's 100% right, there are some naive member on this forum.

You are making a classic rookie mistake, which shows your lack of understanding of how game/attraction works.

What you might not realize is you have already lost, with your current mentality.

You are trying to be different and stand out from the other guys, but just that very mindset is you playing by her rules.

As Ranger Mike said - "you judge women by their actions, not their words." This should be ingrained in your mind when you are interacting with women. How many times have you seen/heard a woman say one thing & then do another?

"I'm not going to sleep with him, he's a player" - sleeps with him
"I'm only going to have one drink tonight" - blacks out on the bathroom floor
"I don't sleep with a guy on the first date" - sleeps with him that night

Women inherently are always testing men, its not necessarily conscious; its part of their way to weed out the pretenders and weak. In nature two males will fight each other to show the female who's the dominant male and who gets to mate with her.

Humans do the same thing, just in a different manner.

Aloof game only works when the girl has interest in you, especially if she's super hot. Meaning she's not sure if you like her, not sure why your different but she's intrigued.

In this case while you have shown confidence and wit, you're just like the rest.


This girl should only ever be a piece of @ss with her shady behavior and likely stripping/escorting on the side.

To get her you have to first truly not give AF & get her to start chasing you.








PIMP

This was a great read. Really opened my eyes. Honestly I hear it all the time, you need to really not give a fuk. but what does that mean? You have to put some effort in right? Like tonight she texts me "merry christmas!" and I made a few ****y funny lines with her and appartently she is gonna buy me a bday gift which is next week. I feel like playing it the way I am she is being extremely responsive and her interest is high but when I read what you wrote I second guess it...help me understand.

 

[stevo]

She texting you doesn't mean her interest level is high.

You are a full blooded male and would be going against your nature if you try "not to sleep with her". Another thing that would get you is you'd be friend zoned.

Not giving a fcuk means:

You would do what YOU want to do not what she tells you to do and if she's not happy with it she can kick rocks.

You wanna fcuk her? Make moves forget whatever she said because if you do not make moves and continue to see her, HER INTEREST LEVEL WOULD GO TO THE SHREDDER.

If she told the same line to every guy seriously what would you expect? Almost every guy would take it slow, how do you stand out then? You show you're a beast.

Do not go out on another date with this girl if you do not plan on fcuking her.
If you do see her again, invite her to your place. If she turns your moves down send her home she wasn't into you to begin with.

A girl doesn't want a man that plays by her rule, it dries up their panties. She's to play by your rule, that's the indicator of high interest level.

Also if your text isn't about fcuking, stop texting.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

This was a great read. Really opened my eyes. Honestly I hear it all the time, you need to really not give a fuk. but what does that mean?

As simple as it sounds to me, it means truly having no investment in the interaction either way. You do things because you want to. As Steve-O mentioned, in your effort to "play it safe" and not advance the physical interaction you are actually moving yourself closer to the friend zone.

In other words if she disappeared from your life tomorrow, it truly wouldn't matter.

You have to put some effort in right? Like tonight she texts me "merry christmas!" and I made a few ****y funny lines with her and apparently she is gonna buy me a bday gift which is next week.

Its not about putting in effort, its about the mentality that comes with it. You can text a girl when you want, text her back when you want etc. I see guys trying to perfect the right amount of time to wait between texts and they truly don't get it.

Sometimes I text back right away, sometimes it might be several hours, not because I'm timing it, but because my goals/ambitions take priority and I'm busy. Women are emotional beings, when you don't follow the path of all the other chumps they are accustomed to dealing with, it peaks their curiosity - ESPECIALLY WITH A GIRL LIKE THIS….WHO CLEARLY is doing some shady shiattt on the side.

I feel like playing it the way I am she is being extremely responsive and her interest is high but when I read what you wrote I second guess it…help me understand.

What constitutes high interest to you? Correct me if I'm wrong you guys have gone out 2 or 3x and she's given you her cheek. ---- That is not high interest.

You always want to be advancing with a girl, especially physically. Women who have clear intentions aren't looking for someone to talk to and listen to their problems, they want a MAN.

Right now I see a girl who enjoys the attention and validation that you give her. She could have some interest in you, but she is the type that needs a dominate male, someone that will make her chase after him.

If I were you the next time I hung out with her, I would start touching her causally (back of the shoulder, small of her back, her thigh) and see how she responds. If she is comfortable with it, flirt, touch, pull away - repeat and then make a move.

If she's not receptive then you know where you stand.







PIMP

 

[Mr_Maximus]

It does sound like she is stringing you along.

as above. If you want to know whether she is or isn't then pull back, let her come to you then just make a move. If she keeps rejecting your advances then you have your answer.

 

[jackhamma]

As simple as it sounds to me, it means truly having no investment in the interaction either way. You do things because you want to. As Steve-O mentioned, in your effort to "play it safe" and not advance the physical interaction you are actually moving yourself closer to the friend zone.

In other words if she disappeared from your life tomorrow, it truly wouldn't matter.



Its not about putting in effort, its about the mentality that comes with it. You can text a girl when you want, text her back when you want etc. I see guys trying to perfect the right amount of time to wait between texts and they truly don't get it.

Sometimes I text back right away, sometimes it might be several hours, not because I'm timing it, but because my goals/ambitions take priority and I'm busy. Women are emotional beings, when you don't follow the path of all the other chumps they are accustomed to dealing with, it peaks their curiosity - ESPECIALLY WITH A GIRL LIKE THIS….WHO CLEARLY is doing some shady shiattt on the side.



What constitutes high interest to you? Correct me if I'm wrong you guys have gone out 2 or 3x and she's given you her cheek. ---- That is not high interest.

You always want to be advancing with a girl, especially physically. Women who have clear intentions aren't looking for someone to talk to and listen to their problems, they want a MAN.

Right now I see a girl who enjoys the attention and validation that you give her. She could have some interest in you, but she is the type that needs a dominate male, someone that will make her chase after him.

If I were you the next time I hung out with her, I would start touching her causally (back of the shoulder, small of her back, her thigh) and see how she responds. If she is comfortable with it, flirt, touch, pull away - repeat and then make a move.

If she's not receptive then you know where you stand.







PIMP

Solid guidance. The 1st time we went out it was after the holiday party and we had my male cousin come out with us because he came with me. The 2nd time this past Saturday was the 1st time we were out alone together. I did make a lot of kino and she didn't withdraw from me touching her. End of the night I got the cheek.

100% I see what you mean by her being the type that wants a man to lead and dominate her. I picked the food, the drinks, pretty much steered the night on everything we did. I didn't ask either I told her what we were doing next etc.

Also I see what you mean by taking it slow. I am gonna invite her out again and increase the kino, go for a kiss when the times right and see what she does....keep you posted.

Anytning to add? Pls let me know! Better to find out if she is interested now by making a move then dragging it out and being a "guy friend she has drinks with" right?

 

[BraddH]

Every play is wrong.

 

[jackhamma]

Update for you

PIMP school me on this:

Back to work today and I bump into the chick and the first thing she says is "Hey did I miss that smile!" I just laughed it off, winked at her went about my business. I had to drop a package off to her to give to a client right after (she handles calling customers/answering calls etc) so I tell her Yeah find me when this client calls. She responds very flirty like "Ohh Ill find you Jack.."

So when you say don't give a fuk. How do you apply that to scenarios like this? Was gonna ask her out tonight and increase the touching and make a move, but not sure...

 

[jackhamma]

Went out with her last night. Played it exactly how I have been playing it. Not overly aggressive but lots of Kino, in control, ****y funny sense of humor, not afraid to speak my mind. Started at my place had a few drinks, went to a club with her, make out session, dirty talk, ended at my house. We fuked all night.

I am still taking it in. It happened so fast. Proud that I played it cool and got to nail her.

My question is. Do I change anything now that we had sex? How do I get her wanting ME more? Keep the same game, same confidence, same amount of contact with her? School me pls