Am i overeacting?

[cooldragon23]

I had some questions about what i need to do with my current girlfriend.

this is my first relationship and there are things that come up that i dont know to handle.

For now, the relationship is going okay but i am not completley happy. We talk to each other everyday and see each other once or twice a week but usually not for too long. I usually initiate hanging out with her but she does make the effort as well.

One thing that happens with me is i get jealous sometimes and im not sure if its right for me to be jealous or not to worry about it. The other day she decided to go to the city with her friend and ended up meeting up with 2 guys that her friends knew. Now when i asked her how was her day in the city she wouldnt tell me and was like i would be jealous and this and that. She finally told me she was hanging out with guys over there.

Now i dont like it but at the same time i dont know if its that big of a deal. Usually she can talk all day about what happened to her everyday but when it comes to this kind of stuff she avoids telling me which just doesnt seem right to me.

i am thinking i am overreacting but at the same time it bothers me that she is hanging out with other guys and then also avoids telling me.

 

[Kal0051]

I'm surprised no one told you to next this chick already. That apparently is the default answer on this board.

Anyway, I'd be concerned that she wouldn't tell you anything about that day.

 

[1337]

thats typical for a first relationship guys usually get jelous, get emotionally attached and whipped, soft and change. Yes your overreacting and overthinking it now with women expect the worse don't even hope for the best and never show any emotions of jelousy anger or sorrow just show dissapointment. If I were you I would put my needs first and make her a side thing although she is your gf. Its probably one of her $hit tests to make you jelous so she can get you whipped, don't fall for it just do your own thing and stop taking her action seriously. Keep a chill relaxed, not caring composure in the relationship and you should be fine.

 

[Skydiver43127]

I'm surprised no one told you to next this chick already. That apparently is the default answer on this board.

It's also almost always the best advice.

Don't worry about it. It's natural for her to be hesitant about telling you these things. She knows you'll get jealous so she holds things back. If you consistently demonstrate you're ok with her hanging around other guys she won't be afraid to tell you about it.

If you can't do that you're just not mature enough yet, so have a great time with her while you feel good and then... next her and continue your journey! (yep, I bet you didn't see that advice coming)

 

[cooldragon23]

I do get jealous and i dont want to show it either but i end up doing it and she picks up on it. So my main thing is that it is not a big deal if she does hang out with guys? its just that fear in the back of my mind that the guys she hangs out with she ends up going with them and i really cant control that i guess.

I mean she would not stop calling me after she came back and called me the whole day before she went. Usually i let her contact me throughout the day. For making plans i usually take initiative and if i dont she does say why i didnt come see her. So i shouldnt feel jealous and envious just gotta control my emotions better.

 

[cooldragon23]

I have a few more questions and im pretty pissed. the guys she hung out with the other day she talked to one of them for like 3 hours last night. She tells me in the morning all of this and shes like hes my new boyfriend and i just pretend it dont matter cause i know she just messing around.

well we are talking about it and she tells me he is just a friend and that i shouldnt care. then she says she maybe wants to get to know him better. I told her that if u want to do that then there is no point in being with me.

she tells me to calm down cause they are just friends but i have heard this line from other girls before. Again, do i just let it go cause she is testing me or should i actually take this seriously and just end it and she can go do whatever the **** she wants.

 

[Biggie]

She actually told you that she wants to get to know him better? AND she talked to him for 3 hours? AND she called him her new boyfriend? Dude, GET OUT NOW!! Seriously, she's made it completely obvious that she's attracted to him. Why would you sit around being jealous while she's off talking to another guy? You need to stop talking to her and find someone else. NOW!

 

[Skydiver43127]

If you're ready to dump her ass over this then tell it to her straight - if she continues to mess with you this is what will happen.

It's not about her lame male girlfriend (talking for 3 hours... what kind of man is ready to do this!?). It's about her disrespecting you by trying to provoke you with all this BS.

If it was me I'd just ignore it, but this would be because I REALLY don't care - and you obviously care and she can pick up on this.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Dump her. NOW. FU<KING NOW!!

A lot of times when a girlfriend starts talking about another guy and how great he is in front of her boyfriend it's guilt. She's guilty of being attracted to the guy so in a very covert way she's telling you (unconsciously) that's she sexually attracted to him, or more.

Break up with her. It's really not appropriate for a woman who's in a relationship to find companionship with other men. Cut your loss and don't be weak about it. You could end it now and be in pain for a little while, or you can get even more emotionally attached and she dumps your ass a month or two later. Then you'll really be screwed.

 

[horaholic]

Yes, NOW, you can next her. Thats BS. NEVER put up with that shyt. Dont tell her anything, and go game other women right now, cuz thats what she's doing. Dont let her try to call you possessive, or jealous or anything either. They have a tendency to do that. Just say "Go hang out with your new friend, I'm outta here."

I wouldnt give her another chance with this one, even if she says sorry, and wont let it happen again. It would just mean she wont ever TELL you about stuff like that again.

There is a small chance she's trying to make you jealous for some reason, but I dont think it really matters.

 

[cooldragon23]

wow talk about getting all worked up over nothing. Turns out she was watching a movie cause her cousin came over and ended up going to sleep late. she was messing around with me about the guy though she did hang out with guys the other day with her friend. I saw her today and everything was cool but at the same time i do know that if this comes up i know what to do.

 

[sodbuster]

I'd still tell her to stop making up ****. If it continues,she's gone. I don't put up with much-but I'm older and have 2 kids. BUT if we as men don't let them know what is unacceptable, they take their cues from TV-the real world etc.

 

[909pua]

I had some questions about what i need to do with my current girlfriend.

this is my first relationship and there are things that come up that i dont know to handle.

For now, the relationship is going okay but i am not completley happy. We talk to each other everyday and see each other once or twice a week but usually not for too long. I usually initiate hanging out with her but she does make the effort as well.

One thing that happens with me is i get jealous sometimes and im not sure if its right for me to be jealous or not to worry about it. The other day she decided to go to the city with her friend and ended up meeting up with 2 guys that her friends knew. Now when i asked her how was her day in the city she wouldnt tell me and was like i would be jealous and this and that. She finally told me she was hanging out with guys over there.

Now i dont like it but at the same time i dont know if its that big of a deal. Usually she can talk all day about what happened to her everyday but when it comes to this kind of stuff she avoids telling me which just doesnt seem right to me.

i am thinking i am overreacting but at the same time it bothers me that she is hanging out with other guys and then also avoids telling me.

seems to me that by you acting jealous, you are acting like an AFC. she will keep testing you and if you keep failing this test, her interest in you will go down eventually ending in a break up..

for now, don't contact, call or text her.

 

[909pua]

I do get jealous and i dont want to show it either but i end up doing it and she picks up on it. So my main thing is that it is not a big deal if she does hang out with guys? its just that fear in the back of my mind that the guys she hangs out with she ends up going with them and i really cant control that i guess.

I mean she would not stop calling me after she came back and called me the whole day before she went. Usually i let her contact me throughout the day. For making plans i usually take initiative and if i dont she does say why i didnt come see her. So i shouldnt feel jealous and envious just gotta control my emotions better.

hey man you don't even know, these guys may have fvked her already. get out ASAP. i didn't read this part of the thread...damn!