Am I just a friend, mixed signals?

[Upthere]

Well I am interested in one of my best friends at school. She is currently dating a 12th grader and I am 10th so is she. I am really good friends with her but I would like to know if I am just a friend. She is fairly attractive, smart and funny. I have 6 of 7 classes with her 5 of those I sit next to her ( seating chart thing must hate me). I am genuinly interested in her, that is I think I may have put her on a pedastal on accident. She isnt what you call a sunshine girl, she doesn't give interested signals to everone. After reading through this site I cant tell weather I am just a friend or a friend.

Once I read through this site I realized that she is sending me JF signals and signals of interest.
Examples, she will wait exclusively for me to walk her back to her locker or next class. She initiates kino all the time, I have recently started this too with a good reaction from her. She invited me over to watch a movie with her alone when her BF was out of town. I didnt do anything that her BF wouldnt have liked me doing while watching the movie ( if he were there) like going in for a kiss or something . We had a great time though and it was all smiles. Also she made me a B-day card that said "we should really hang out some time ( if you want to)". When talking to her after school a couple times she has brought up that and said we should hang out some more.

Now my understanding of Just friend signals that she has sent. She openly talks about her boyfriend with me. She is going to prom with him and seems excited ( I know this girl better then she does with 6 hours of my day with her). She is pretty physical with him in public ( not kissing just being close holding hands hugging ect). Also we have lots of inside jokes, I dont know if this is good or bad.

So my question am I just a friend? Or is she interested in me. Also would neg hits help my chances with her? Or would it be to much of a shock to her because I have never done something like that. I have teased her but no flat out insults. Thanks!

 

[Skel]

lol no neg hits will not help. You are just a friend.

 

[Upthere]

dang oh well. There are other fish in the sea. But this one is the best

 

[Docs]

How's she the best when you haven't figured out if she likes you?

There is no 'best' chance. There is a level of interest, and two lines that says 'I'm Interested enough in you to date you, vs, I'm Interested enough to play you around to a certain limit that I am comfortable with, and vs I'm Interested enough to be your friend'.

That makes three levels of Interest (to what applies to you, there truly are more). You fit somewhere just a touch above the friend/play line from what I can tell.

 

[Mr. Fresh]

chance

Hey don't let it get you down that she' s going out with him bro. Just one suggestion. You should have done something when you were with her alone at her house watching a movie. I dunno, some kino or maybe should've gotten close to her and you should've took it from there if she had escalated. Remember, if you don't know what to act upon...1. I do what I want. 2. I say what I want. 3. I get what I want. These 3 tips will help you be more confident and motivate u. But anways its too late for that. You still have a chance. What you can do is a freeze-out, which basically means ignore her for a little while, mayb a week or two to see if she responds and wants your attention. If you are always available at her every need, of course she will see you as ONLY and ONLY a friend. If u are a close friend, she will respond to the freeze-out. Hey and her BF is in 12th grade? He will be goin' to college next yr. So don't worry about him bro..he will want to break up with this girl u want most likely...college has SOO many girls he WILL want to be single as a freshman so there can be your chance. For now, if you REALLY want this girl, you have to stop acting like one of her friends and get her to think of you in a sexual manner or else you will always be in the friend zone...IM me at Zmaster203 if u need anything. Good Luck and don't give up yet, you still got a chance.

 

[Upthere]

Thanks for the help guys it is much appreciated.

Docs, what I meant by she is the best is that I would prefer to date her but I would be just happy reeling something else in from the sea. I am not torn up about not dating her. Just not happy. In other words I will survive lol.

At least all is not lost. I have a chance next year. We will see.

I just wanted to say I love this site. Today during drivers ed there was a smokin chick there who is way out of my leauge, our eyes met and I didnt look away like I usually do. Afterwords I saw her checkin me out ( never had that happen) . Right as I was about to go talk to her my mom pulls up and says time to go. Oh, terrible timing. Which sucks cause it was last day too.

 

[Docs]

Enlightenment is quite impacting as you discovered.

It's the same deal, whether she's your number 1 or your number 17, she has a interest level somewhere within those three levels of interest. =)

On that note, you should be striving to have a number 17

 

[gmillar]

Look, she is giving you signals, unless you're wildly misinterpreting them. I'd say you have a chance, but you need to break out of the friend zone. Neg hits are bull****, you can tease about that a little, but there's really no need to be seriously negative. Don't spend tons of time with her, make her come to you, but be aggressive in conversations, initiate a level of kino barely under the level that would make her boyfriend mad. Your chances of breaking them up are slim to none, so your goal should to be to set yourself up in the perfect position so that once they break up (and they will, he's gradding this year), she'll be into you. Then you carefully pick her up AFTER her rebound period, you don't want that drama.

 

[CalmCoolAndConfident]

I hate that when the best one is your friend. Give this one a whirl tho, ask her to hang out with you someday on the weekend, and show yourself off, have fun and show her that you are a dominant alpha male. But dont move on her yet, just give her a taste of your personality. If she had fun she'll ask you to hang out with her soon after, go and have fun. Now the fun and crutial part, take her out and go somewhere where you two are relativly alone. Mid conversation look deeply into her eyes and kiss her. BOOM you have just dramaticlally changed the relationship in a way that you never could have by talking to her. Now work from there, make sure its a hot kiss to. If she asks why you did that go into a deep conversation about how your confused and how you are beggining to like her, not that you love her or that you have liked her for a while now, but that you are begining to since you two have been hanging out more. Try it, you'll thank me and yourself. Its the only way Ive found to break out of the "friend zone".

 

[Upthere]

Hmmm

Once again thanks for all the advice.

Today I tried to not give her much attention, I made it to 3rd hour. She was doing this thing to my elbow, I cant explain. I said thats it. And crumpled. lol didnt make it too long

She also got her lifeguarding liscense last week and today she said you should come by and visit me at the country club. I said I wil think about it . Then she said if you drown I can save you, I said uhhh better not drown with a grin and she hit me. Lol.

Also today I was practicing my confidence. My eyes met with a super confident girl and she didnt look away then I didnt look away then after alittle bit I thought I was looking stalker esque so I looked away. Was it a good move or a bad move? Should I have waited for her to look away?

 

[Docs]

Ahahahaa. Get someone to push you in the deep end and just flail around.

Your EC test, it's alright, but you HAVE to start following though with an approach. EC means nothing if you don't follow up on it.

 

[The Shocker]

OK I'm not getting the people who say he's firmly in the friend zone. If she's giving a bday card saying that "we should hang out if you want to", that is a definite IOI in my opinion.

 

[Upthere]

UPDATE

Ok I have another question
Lately I have been messing with her alittle when she comes over to work with me during school or something I will joke " oh no not again" or something like that then grin. I thought I was just joking around with her.
Also she called my house last night and asked me if I was watchign the game ( both are redwing fans) I was in shower. My dad took the messege and I forgot to call back. I think instances like this are making her doubt wheather I like her or not. so.....
Today she passes me a note saying
lately I have been hanging out with you more then my girlfriends. I was wondering if you only hung out with me cuz you are always around me ( 6/7 classes in a day w/her) or if cuz you like hanging out with me. I circled because I like hanging out with you. She got the note back and went oh goodie. So this means I was making her doubt weahter I liked her or not ( as a friend or person or maybe more??)

Is this a good sign, or bad. I feel like its good but I am unsure. She showed that she craved my attention, right?. Yes, no??
Any insight?

 

[Touchout]

You shouldn't have reassured her like that, make her sweat it out.

Personally, I would have probably just looked at her and smiled and crumpled up the note. Then whatever she said about that note I would have just said, "don't worry about it" and smiled.

By reassuring her your just reaffirming her control over you.

 

[Upthere]

Grrrr.... I knew I screwed that up.

 

[ManiacJack]

Grrrr.... I knew I screwed that up.

Well, it isn't the be all end all.

 

[The Shocker]

I agree with Touchout. You fvcked up. But all is not lost. The girl is definitely interested. She either wants you to be her bf, or REALLY wants an emotional tampon.

Only one way to find out. Make a move.

 

[Upthere]

Ok, I finally got over her. Just thought its not worth it. Well....

until these last two weeks her boyfriend who is a senior left because seniors get out early at my school. Anyway I have been kinoing her a ton. I mean alot. She eats it right up with a big grin on her face. Touches back immediately ect..
She asked me to come study with her this weekend. I say sure. You better be good at math. I was going to make a move on her until
Today her boyfriend shows up a school. I had honestly thought they had broke up. She was mad at him last week I thought they broke up. Mid sentence when talking to me she runs up and hugs him. I am just like wtf to myself. She is giving all the for sale signs and such. ( not a sunshine girl, I have seen her get real mad at another guy for touching her.) I dont want to mess with a girl with a boyfriend. Just not worth it to me.

My question. I just dont understand her, could she be interested in me and him. Kinda like gaming two guys at once. There is no reason to game me, I wont do **** for her, I make her do stuff for me. No benefit. I am confused as hell. Insight on how to handle her.

 

[rottweiler_273]

Friend

 

[Docs]

My question. I just dont understand her, could she be interested in me and him. Kinda like gaming two guys at once. There is no reason to game me, I wont do **** for her, I make her do stuff for me. No benefit. I am confused as hell. Insight on how to handle her.

Yep, I think that since this is high school....and the fact you're completely confused by it, she's eating up the attention. Heck, I would too!