Am I in the friendzone??

[razorbum]

Here's the deal

I met this girl while working part time at the restaurant. I added her on Facebook and started chatting with her. At first she didn't really seem very much into it, but she started to open up and we talked more. I got her number from her (she gave it to me readily) and started to text her when Facebook chat failed.

She did tell me from time to time that she don't initiate conversations with people because she don't know how to, but she initiated with me one of the mornings.

When she was around my office area for an interview, I asked her to do lunch and she agreed readily. Later that night, we were both talking about a dessert that we wanted to eat, so I asked her if she wanted to go get it. She said yes, but we realized that the shops selling that were closed because it's late, and she started to suggest alternatives. We ended up spending a couple of hours together (after eating).

When her shift on the weekend got cancelled, I asked her that if she wanted to meet. She said yes, but she told me my name was also on the list. I told her that I was gonna call the manager to cancel my shift because I needed a weekend off, and she told me to do it quickly.

Also, when I told her that I needed to get cologne, she asked me to ask her along because she likes to shop for cologne.

All these are good signs for me, except for our conversations. From time to time, she would ask me about my ex girlfriend and what happened (apparently because she likes to listen to relationship stories). Since she asks me, I asked her a little about her ex boyfriend too. However, I started to get worried that I might be in the friend zone, so to make sure that I don't end up there I asked her if she knew that I was chasing her, and she said yes.

Before I asked her that, all the while I tried to hint very strongly that I'm not there to be just her friend, and this question is just my confirmation to her about that. After I asked her that, we still talked as usual, but she started to ask me assumption relationship questions like what would I do IF she asked to get together now.

What do you guys think?

 

[Ringleader41]

Usually you can sense it, but since you're asking you are in the friendzone my friend

 

[the_great_gaia]

However, I started to get worried that I might be in the friend zone, so to make sure that I don't end up there I asked her if she knew that I was chasing her, and she said yes.

This right here may have thrown her off, because it's an odd question, and by asking this, you may have come off kinda 'desperate'. You should never tell a female verbally that you like her.. it kills off all the excitement for her. For example..

If you were going to propose marriage to your girlfriend (so making her your fiancee), would you:
A) tell her ahead of time that you're gonna get down on one knee and put a ring on her finger
or would you:
B) keep it all a secret from her and plan to surprise the pure sh*t out of her and propose on one knee when she LEAST expects it?

She'd really love it if you did 'B', because women find it boring when you make things obvious and SAY anything about it..

This is how you also must be when it comes to attracting a female. Don't let the cat out of the bag by TELLING her you like her. Do things, say things, go places that will make her WONDER (women love to wonder) IF you like her.. the more she thinks about it, the more she's thinking about you.. and if she's thinking all of this when you're not around, she'll miss the hell of out you.

Try to make your actions say it, if your body could talk.. how would you get it to tell her "I like you.. and I don't want to be your friend"..?

This is what you should do. Flirt with her, use kino, show her the best time of her life (without overdoing it), so that she can MISS you when she's not around you. Don't let your heart put you on cruise control, because she will RUN!! Focus on the aspects of having fun when you're with this girl, don't worry about making her your girl.. just have fun. You'll be surprised at the results.

 

[razorbum]

Dude trust me, I was doing that, until I realised I was threading too close into the friendzone. Thats why I asked..

 

[WorkingDJ]

Have you made any moves at all?

 

[Iceberg]

Dude trust me, I was doing that, until I realised I was threading too close into the friendzone. Thats why I asked..

This whole situation would be solved if you asked her to hang out with you, and then made a move on her.

Otherwise, you're just sitting around analyzing bits and pieces of conversation.

 

[razorbum]

To WorkingDJ and Iceberg

Physical moves, not yet. I'm getting a lot of positive indicators through our interactions over text though.
We are meeting in on the weekend and I'll put my moves on her then. In fact whenever I ask her out she agrees readily. This weekend would be my 3rd date with her, if you count the lunch and supper to be separate dates.

We are in an Asian country so it tends to be more conservative here. It's harder to open but I realised I'm doing pretty good so far. Will be pushing it more on our next date.

 

[Sofomore]

You should have made a move on her at the first date. She was giving you buying signals from the start. The longer you hesitate the bigger the chance you are in the friendzone. I say you still have a chance, it pretty much all boils down to if you grab your balls and kiss her the next time you see her.

 

[WorkingDJ]

To WorkingDJ and Iceberg

Physical moves, not yet. I'm getting a lot of positive indicators through our interactions over text though.
We are meeting in on the weekend and I'll put my moves on her then. In fact whenever I ask her out she agrees readily. This weekend would be my 3rd date with her, if you count the lunch and supper to be separate dates.

We are in an Asian country so it tends to be more conservative here. It's harder to open but I realised I'm doing pretty good so far. Will be pushing it more on our next date.

For me, I'd say you need to make some physical moves, just go out there and touch her. KINO. I'm not one of those guys that say you must have sex with her, but don't be afraid to touch her.

 

[ArcBound]

Have you done anything sexual or physically intimate with her

 

[razorbum]

Advice

How would you guys suggest I do that? Just looking for some advice and ways on this?

 

[Sofomore]

How old are you?

 

[razorbum]

Going on 20 man. She's same age too.

She told me pretty early in our interactions that she don't really like being touched physically (according to her that's just how she's like), and I doubt this is bs because I saw the same thing on her formspring a couple of months earlier.

That's why I moved really carefully in this region but I'm gonna put my moves on her this coming weekend.

 

[razorbum]

Made her talk to me first

Just to throw some updates guys.

Usually I'm the one to start the conversation, but I laid off texting her today to test her interest level. I know when she wakes up because she would tweet whenever she's up.

Anyway, I didn't contact her, and she opened a conversation with me after she was up for about 2 hours. Maybe she was waiting for me to text her, and finally realized I was not gonna do it.

I'll say she's interested in me but the interest level is not peaking, which is fine by me anyway. Just gotta play my cards right tomorrow.

 

[razorbum]

Have you done anything sexual or physically intimate with her

No man. Gonna get it going tomorrow.

 

[PapiChulo]

Just divide all women in two categories: the ones you have/had sex with, and the ones you haven't done anything yet. It makes the whole ordeal much easier. Who cares, right?

 

[razorbum]

Just divide all women in two categories: the ones you have/had sex with, and the ones that don't. It makes much easier. Who cares, right?

I guess it's not as open in my country as the other guys on DJ, so I can't really classify it that way haha.