Am I her ego booster?

[devils3777]

A co-worker of mine who has a b/f is very flirty with me and we e-mail each other alot.

Last week she wrote via internal company e-mail.

"Come see me before you leave."
Mind you, I was already gone for the day and read the e-mails the following morning.

10 minutes later (remember I did not respond to the first one since I was gone for the day)she writes....

"You need to stop by the desk before you leave on Monday's because I come in at night and look real nice, unlike some other days..lol[/B

I think she was setting me up to write back: You look nice all of the time.

All I wrote back was, sorry I missed it...lol.

 

[devils3777]

buuurn. I bet you could have turned that into ****y funny though.

I work in small environment and rumors are already starting to spread.

I told her, I take the shortest route out the door. If I take the long route and stop to see her, it is OBVIOUS to others I am doing it to talk to her.

 

[Igetit!]

How long has this "cat and mouse" game been going on?

 

[devils3777]

How long has this "cat and mouse" game been going on?

I already asked her out 2 months ago and she told me she had a b/f.

I decided to e-mail her one day and it is has been going on for about 3 weeks.

 

[Igetit!]

Well the answer is clear. Your instincts were right. Yes, you are her ego booster. Are you ok with that?

 

[DJDamage]

I already asked her out 2 months ago and she told me she had a b/f.

I decided to e-mail her one day and it is has been going on for about 3 weeks.

Ignore her, she ain't worth your time and she is acting like a b1tch by first rejecting you and then flirting with you.

 

[devils3777]

Honestly, who the hell knows, maybe her b/f doesn't compliment her enough.

Just for the record, this girl was flirtatious from day one BEFORE I asked her to hang out.

She compliments me more than vice versa.

I only complimented her once or twice, while she has complimented me 4-5 times and get real nervous around me.

 

[Jitterbug]

Whatever you do (ignore her or try to get into her panties), just do not use internal company email for this. Don't leave any trace.

 

[slickaz]

dude...dont do it...i was in smtn like this at a very prominent company..and it got so bad that rumours spread everywhere.
she worked in HR and i worked in business strategy division.

i couldnt stop seeing her, she had a bf so only timei saw her was at work..shed come down and force to go to lunch with her..

i came back one day from lunch and accidentally had not locked my pc..EVERYBODY in my division was standing around my desk, reading EVERY email we sent back and forth.

Both our bosses heard the rumours..and it was very sad because they didnt allow her any access to my HR file, her access was locked. it was affecting both our career lives..so i resigned the company..also because everyone kept spreading rumours about me and her s3xin in the office..(most days we both worked overtime and stayed later than everybody else....)

in hind sight i realise it was such a risky move because i was lucky somebody there gave me good reference for future jobs..and since i have tried to avoid all romantic relationships at work..and even when i couldnt control it, everything was communicated via personal text msgs even tho she sat 3 desks away..

you may not be that lucky if you used company resources (most companies will have clauses against using email for personal use extensively..) just be careful...

but if she wants to s3x..take it outside the office..finish it up and dont speak of it again.

 

[Igetit!]

I agee with DJ Damage. You should ignore her. But not as some technique to try to get her to go out with you or date you. You should ignore her so you won't be some chump who's giving her validation when she should be getting it from her BF.You said that maybe her BF isn't giving her enough compliments.
So? What's that to you? What do you care whether her BF gives her compliments or not? Do you go around giving compliment and feeding the egos of other guys' girlfriends? You fill their emotional needs while their boyfriends fill their physical/sexual needs? DJ Damage was right. This girl rejects you, but then she flirts with you so you can keep on giving her the feeling that she is attractive/desired by men. She gets this from you and what do you get from her? Illusions,mirages,and false hope that one day she will be with you. Just leave her alone. Be nice,be friendly,but don't make any difference between her and the rest of the people you work with.

 

[devils3777]

She has a b/f, so how did she really reject me?

The thing is, I don't really give her validation. She complements me more than vice versa....

E.g. Telling me I look like some famous good-looking guy

E.g. Told her mom about me

e.g. Told me I looked good in my shirt

e.g. Told me I was smart

e.g. Told me I was T,D,H

Her age and the fact that we are co-workers are the main problems. I am not worried about her boyfriend.

BTW, I think I am doing pretty good here, I am not acting like an AFC. She is the more flirtatious one out of the two.

 

[Igetit!]

This is ridiculous. You still don't get it. Well let me ask you this. The way that things are right now with you and her, her giving you compliments,and you giving her compliments,then after she gets her ego boosted/self-esteemed raised by your compliments,she goes and hops in bed with her boyfriend,are you happy with that? The way things are right now,would you like it to stay this way for the next 5 years,you getting her compliments,and her boyfriend getting her body? If you're happy with the status quo, then keep doing what you're doing. You keep going back to the fact that you give each other compliments. Who cares? Men and women have needs. Men's needs are more physical, while women's needs are more emotional. You giving her compliments fills her emtional needs, but her giving you compliments DOESN'T fulfill your PHYSICAL need. You see what I'm saying? If the way things are now with you and her were to continue for the next 5 years,she'd be happy with it. For her nothing has to change because she's already getting what she wants from you,without dating you.

 

[devils3777]

i can't stop thinking about this chick

 

[Igetit!]

Man that was tough. I can see that I kind of got through to you a little bit.
That's good, because I was about to throw my hands up in the air and say,"Forget it". Look man, you can get over this girl. Yes, it will take some time, but you will get over her. Once you've made the decision in your mind that you are not going to try to pursue this girl,it will make you feel good that you are not some emotional filling station for some other guy's girlfriend.
However,there is some bad news. Once you make this decision, and I mean you truely, in your heart have decided that you are not going to purse her,the next time you are around her, she is going to "feel" it. She is going to "sense" that there is something different about you. Then, she is going to start trying to get you to compliment her again. She might ask you how she looks today, or she may say that her boyfriend never says she looks good, or she might give you a compliment, expecting you to give her one back. Or she just might really turn up the flirting. Don't fall for any of it. And don't let her flirting deceive you into thinking that she really likes you and wants to date you,because she doesn't. If she tricks you with her flirting,she immediately gets an other ego boost,the same as if you gave her a compliment. So be ready for all that,because if you're serious about putting an end to all this nonsense, she is REALLY going to come after you with both guns blazing.

 

[devils3777]

Man that was tough. I can see that I kind of got through to you a little bit.
That's good, because I was about to throw my hands up in the air and say,"Forget it". Look man, you can get over this girl. Yes, it will take some time, but you will get over her. Once you've made the decision in your mind that you are not going to try to pursue this girl,it will make you feel good that you are not some emotional filling station for some other guy's girlfriend.
However,there is some bad news. Once you make this decision, and I mean you truely, in your heart have decided that you are not going to purse her,the next time you are around her, she is going to "feel" it. She is going to "sense" that there is something different about you. Then, she is going to start trying to get you to compliment her again. She might ask you how she looks today, or she may say that her boyfriend never says she looks good, or she might give you a compliment, expecting you to give her one back. Or she just might really turn up the flirting. Don't fall for any of it. And don't let her flirting deceive you into thinking that she really likes you and wants to date you,because she doesn't. If she tricks you with her flirting,she immediately gets an other ego boost,the same as if you gave her a compliment. So be ready for all that,because if you're serious about putting an end to all this nonsense, she is REALLY going to come after you with both guns blazing.

haha...this chick is a petite brunette, my preferred type and the preferred type of woman according to my poll.

 

[Igetit!]

O....k. So what's your point?

 

[devils3777]

Yeah more and more I see through it.

We still e-mail each other about random stuff. She doesn't ask me any personal questions about myself though...I noticed.

 

[j0n024]

"BTW, I think I am doing pretty good here, I am not acting like an AFC."

"i can't stop thinking about this chick"

Man if that isnt contradicting yourself then I dont know what is....lol.

It's funny though reading your first post, then the advice that was given to you and every subsequent post from YOU is you DEFENDING her and your actions it's pretty sad to be honest.

She already rejected you yet you cant stop thinking about her and you seem to like the compliments.....hahaha.

I can see that your not going to take anyones advice since you havent for 11 day's so go ahead continue on the path your walking now and soon she will get tired of you or the rumors will take your job....everyone warned you but you wouldnt listen so good luck.

 

[DonJuan11]

A co-worker of mine who has a b/f is very flirty with me and we e-mail each other alot.



Last week she wrote via internal company e-mail.

"Come see me before you leave."
Mind you, I was already gone for the day and read the e-mails the following morning.

10 minutes later (remember I did not respond to the first one since I was gone for the day)she writes....

"You need to stop by the desk before you leave on Monday's because I come in at night and look real nice, unlike some other days..lol[/B

I think she was setting me up to write back: You look nice all of the time.

All I wrote back was, sorry I missed it...lol.

I'm not sure what you are talking about but why waste your time on a girl who is already allowing some other guy to see her without her clothes on?

 

[Ambition Now]

Man, the same thing happened to me with a co-worker, the only difference is that i dont have oneitis for her...
Basicly i flirt with every attractive girl i work with, with this girl i am always C&F and we trade some emails also, one day she sent an email asking if i wanted to drink a beer with her, but the same thing happened, ive just read it the morning after...
I answered the email saying that i was just reading it one day after she sent the email and asking if she wanted to meet me in my band rehearsal that day (i was not asking her on a date, i was just like: i will do this, if you want to show up...).
She did not answered this email, so i was like, i dont care...
I always kino and flirt with her, but i just do it, i dont expect anything from it...