Am I going to get my sunglasses back from this Cluster B??

[Buddha_Mind]

I understand the concept of sh*t tests, but even if it is a sh*t test, this is not a quality person and no matter what I did, I would have failed it. If I had said "No, I don't have any books to donate," even after we've extensively discussed literature in the process of getting to know each other and exchanged books (she has a paperback of mine as well that I really don't care about writing off), then she'd accuse me of being selfish. There are some "sh*t tests" that I think are damned if you do, damned if you don't. And I don't understand how in the moment it could have been perceived as a sh*t test. "Hey, do you have some old books you can donate to an elderly man building a library?" My thought process was "Sure, what the eff do I care? I have some books collecting dust on my shelf."

I definitely agree with what you've said -- there are some definite situations where you're screwed either way and it's really just a form of her own aggression -- there are some battles that cannot be won and truly by winning is walking away and succeeding elsewhere. I think you are thinking the right things.

I'd say just do your best to get your stuff back and move on. Try a legal threat if she's that crazy. If you don't get them back, well, it's not the end of the world and is a casualty of broken rapport.

...argh...your writing and take on things I definitely relate and feel for you for...I hope you get that stuff back.

 

[scrouds]

Aren't all bets off though when somebody shows themselves to be nuts? I hear it many times from guys "All women are crazy to some degree or another," but there are levels of craziness. I feel the way she reacted to my offer about donating books, when I was trying to be helpful, was completely inappropriate. It doesn't sound like what she did was a sh*t test to me, it sounds like the girl has issues. Either she was no longer interested in seeing me romantically, which is fine, but a mature adult doesn't need to manufacture drama over some contrived "offense" to call it quits, or she's nuts.

How would you have handled it? Technically she was the first to bring the glasses up when she responded to my comment about donating books by asking for an address and telling me she'd mail them. At that point I didn't want to get into an argument and try to "win" it, or do anything more to antagonize an obviously crazy person, so I figured just kill her with kindness. I would have told her off if she didn't have something I wanted back. If I was a beta doormat, I'd still be trying to sleep with her. I completely lost interest once she responded the way that she did.

I wouldn't have given her my glasses. Not going to knock you on that, I learned that the hard way too Ironically it involved a book i liked that I never got back.

But yes, nowadays if someone has my shiit and i want it back, absolute last thing I would do is barter for it with some cheap books. Its mine, I want it back. Period.

 

[Findog]

She mailed them back. Lesson learned, and I didn't have to learn the hardest way.