Am I f*cked if I don't want to lead longterm?

[devilkingx2]

OP needs to find a women that is more competent and capable than average.

There are definitely women out there that can feed themselves without strong male supervision, the question is if you'll like those types of women.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Even when I make a woman ride me I fnck her better from below than she does me. While I do enjoy watching a woman lower herself onto me and ride the beast I snap out of it after a while and take over - the meek shall inherit nothing.

YOU MUST LEAD

 

[Modern Man Advice]

This might be an unpopular opinion but I am not here to careers egos or cater to everyones' plethora of emotions.

As I've said in the past nothing is black and white. Long-term relationships included. Yes, you should lead and have a strong frame within a relationship. You need that in a balanced and healthy relationship, otherwise, people will take you for granted and eventually lose respect. But there are moments in life for everything, focusing on petty things like should she lead when we go to the restaurant is outrageous and controlling behavior.

You should lead in important and significant matters, and there should be an overall sense of who takes charge. But in a healthy relationship, there should be two voices. To say, no don't let her tell you where to sit in a restaurant is petty.

Also, allowing her to speak her mind is important. Now if she is picky about every single thing and is just wanting to contradict everything you say that is a different story but don't this is the case.


Modern Man Advice

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This might be an unpopular opinion but I am not here to careers egos or cater to everyones' plethora of emotions.

As I've said in the past nothing is black and white. Long-term relationships included. Yes, you should lead and have a strong frame within a relationship. You need that in a balanced and healthy relationship, otherwise, people will take you for granted and eventually lose respect. But there are moments in life for everything, focusing on petty things like should she lead when we go to the restaurant is outrageous and controlling behavior.

You should lead in important and significant matters, and there should be an overall sense of who takes charge. But in a healthy relationship, there should be two voices. To say, no don't let her tell you where to sit in a restaurant is petty.

Also, allowing her to speak her mind is important. Now if she is picky about every single thing and is just wanting to contradict everything you say that is a different story but don't this is the case.


Modern Man Advice

OP wants to be a passenger in the relationship. That's not going to end well for him

 

[Modern Man Advice]

OP wants to be a passenger in the relationship. That's not going to end well for him

Then I agree. That is not natural and will not work out long-term.


Modern Man Advice

 

[The Diver]

If I go into a restaurant, and she's picky about where we sit, I want to let her talk to the host about that stuff.

I dated once a woman who had to choose the table due to "spiritual and energy flow in the room". Go figure this bs.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If I go into a restaurant, and she's picky where we sit, I want let her talk to the host about that stuff.

If you are dating a woman who makes a big deal out of that run for the fvcking hills because that's only the tip of the iceberg.

She will turn your life into a living hell.

 

[skipfontaine22]

OP wants to be a passenger in the relationship. That's not going to end well for him

Well, no.
Not exactly. I am just really pretty laid back with some trivial stuff that others may want to lead. So I let them lead.

 

[skipfontaine22]

I dated once a woman who had to choose the table due to "spiritual and energy flow in the room". Go figure this bs.

Yeah it was a horrible example. I was trying to think of examples from a woman I dated. She'd actually never care about this. But what I meant was giving people power to decide in simple things that I dont really care about.
If I dated someone who was super picky and controlling where we sit in a restaurant, I'd be super turned off.

 

[skipfontaine22]

I’m the same. I don’t like the “sit here, do this” BS. Maybe it’s because my mother was a strong woman who didn’t need a man (she never remarried) but honestly, women that need leadership feel like a liability to me.

Now, I’m not about to follow her lead just because she’s a woman, but if she has a good idea, then I’ll take it.
I just hate having to lead women by the hand. It incredibly exhausting. It feels like I’m dating a child if that’s the dynamic

Yeah I agree.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well, no.
Not exactly. I am just really pretty laid back with some trivial stuff that others may want to lead. So I let them lead.

The problem is when you give a woman an inch in that way they try to take a mile.

 

[Murk]

I used to be like that too, happy to coast and go with the flow, not really caring. Been that why since childhood. However, that is not the mindset of a dominant confident person. Make the decisions because you don't rely on anyone else to determine outcomes in your life, that's it, no more to be said. You're either a doer, or a faggot. I'm not hearing a 3rd option.

 

[Gamisch]

In my younger years(had a wife) I was a lot like you, very driven myself and felt the same way about restaurants and many other similar things. I also let her drive us to many of the places we went if I was tired or didn't feel like driving. This was also a form of not leading.

Its little things like this that chip away at your frame and will lead to your demise. They might not be a big deal to you, but they are a big deal to her subconscious brain that will effect the success of your relationship.

Lots of good thoughts shared here.

It's a combination of these posts. Having to lead is the burden of being a man. There is no way around it.

Doesn’t sound like you are skilled at long term relationships. When you commit to a woman, you are assuming responsibility for her protection and well-being. Women are self-destructive, emotional creatures that destroy almost everything they touch. Every man that is involved with a woman must know this going in. If you don’t want to deal with maintaining a woman, just buy a dog for companionship and outsource all other womanly duties until you die alone.

I share the OPs sentiment. I don’t like always making decisions. Half the time, I’d prefer my woman just leave me alone and figure it out herself. I don’t care about shopping and other irrelevant shvt. However, women simply aren’t wired to make optimal decisions and most of them are aware of it. Be thankful if you have a woman that seeks your counsel on everything rather than just go down her own self-destructive path.

I agree especially with the first paragraph. If you (stupidly and /or unconsciously) dedicated many years of your life to being with women then you cant deny this. At some point you gotta realize this and be able to separate the truth from " fantasy ".

A lotta dudes have the same fantasies when it comes to street fighting, untill they end up in the hospital or worse.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I got a upscale seafood restaurant that I sometimes go to here in Mexico.
I'm on a first name basis with head waiter.
I got my own table in the corner overseeing the entrance of the restaurant everytime I go.

A couple months back I took a female client (she had a boyfriend) of mine to go eat lunch.
She left her uncle in her car parked and she dipped with me. The trust was there because she told me that if she didn't trust me she wouldn't have got in my car.

We get there. As soon as we go in the restaurant, Carlos the head waiter greets me and tells me " Giovanni como estas, your table is ready for you" in spanish. I lead her on the path walking in front of her to the booth and she sits across me.
Carlos comes over and asks for drinks, she orders a mineral lemon infused with some sh!t soda and I tell him the "usual" which was iced pellegrino. She asks me if I always come here since she grasped the attention to detail given me.
I just told her with a little wink and gleam on my eye"only in special occasions". She smiled.
From that point on the lunch went smooth. Light
flirting, dark humor and deep talk about life. All that.
it's interesting how girls open up about themselves when eating if they vibe with you.
I only had met this chick one time prior.

After we were finished, we step out the joint and walk over to my car we get inside and I tell her if she wants a piece of gum she says yes so I open up the middle console and bust out the pack of gum but I only had one piece left so I pull it out and I tell her with a slight grin that it's my last piece of gum and if she wants it she is going to have to work for it. I got a devilish smile by now. She blushed and started light poking my rib with her finger so I just went in and robbed her the kiss. We made out for a good minute. I just took her back to her car outside my shop.
I regret not fvcking her till this day.
She went back to her boyfriend in Cali that same day.

But the moral of this is that women want a man who leads the move.
You treat them all the same, with masculine respect through your leadership.
All women who come to you or are in ur vicinity
in ur sphere of influence will feel empowered to explore their femininity.
They have freedom through you.
A woman is more likely to forgive you for acting like a man than for acting like a b1tch.

 

[Robert28]

It’s hard to lead a woman that doesn’t want to be lead.