Am I entering in BPD relationship or am I overanalyzing it.

[Mazer]

A little about her:
Moved to the USA for work
Breast Implants
Teeth done
Gets Botox
Anorexic seven years ago
Father abandoned her as a child, but she still talks to him
Divorced, cheated on her husband with a male friend who turned out to be an alcoholic, she tells me he was very controlling. She left her husband because she wasn't satisfied with the sex.
Had a threesome with a girl and her man a long time ago.

Date #1- Kiss, makeout.
Date #2- Blowing up my phone every day, **** test-her being on her period
Date #3-Sex
Date #4- Love Bombing me (best sex she has ever had)
Date #5 & 6- Night out of the town. Sex and more Love Bombing
Date #7- Asking me if I was dating other girls ( I said yes, she responded with thanks for being honest)
Date #8- Pushing for exclusivity( I ignore)

Sex is so intense, banging on every surface of her apartment every week I see her.
Asked me if she should go on the birth control
Always opens up about emotional shiit after we are done having sex
Cooks me breakfast & dinner when I go over
Date #9- Introduced me to her friends (they loved me)
Date #10 She tells me she has hearts in her eyes and wants to know if I am looking for a relationship, she is putting herself out there she says.

This chick is a six in the face, body is a ten. She isn't an attention *****, really down to earth. She is nice, amazing sex (just started swallowing my jizz and loves it) always makes herself available, compliments me, talks about me to all of her friends. The issue I have is not sure if she is a BPD (don't have any experienced with a BPD woman). I would like to know what I am getting myself into if I decide to enter into a relationship with this chick. If she is Bpd, are there tests I can give to her to expose her? Thanks in advance.

 

[Billtx49]

No idea if she’s bpd or not, but your first paragraph makes her sound very superficial and so insecure that she moves too fast…

 

[ohrein]

Hmm, normally people claim BPD way too much but that does sound fairly intense. Signs to look for on top of too intense too soon are attention seeking, impulsive behavior, self harm and emotional instability like anger and moodiness. The women that I have met that I know had BPD (clinically diagnosed) tend to be very obviously "strange". There's something off about them. That said, if you're in a relationship with one you probably won't really be able to tell until the devaluation stage when she starts hating you. But yeah the woman you described is clearly damaged in some way so be aware.

 

[Mazer]

Hmm, normally people claim BPD way too much but that does sound fairly intense. Signs to look for on top of too intense too soon are attention seeking, impulsive behavior, self harm and emotional instability like anger and moodiness. The women that I have met that I know had BPD (clinically diagnosed) tend to be very obviously "strange". There's something off about them. That said, if you're in a relationship with one you probably won't really be able to tell until the devaluation stage when she starts hating you. But yeah the woman you described is clearly damaged in some way so be aware.

No signs of cutting, anger or moodiness. I am actually a little dumbfounded. Most crazy chicks show all their cards in the first month.

 

[Murk]

You lost me at “6 in the face” and that’s even after her teeth and Botox. Cmon son.

 

[Billtx49]

No signs of cutting, anger or moodiness. I am actually a little dumbfounded. Most crazy chicks show all their cards in the first month.

Some BPD’s don’t cut. The other signs come with time. It’s why most guys are left in fog when she eventually does her complete 180 on them…

 

[Mazer]

You lost me at “6 in the face” and that’s even after her teeth and Botox. Cmon son.

Haha, seriously though, have had my share of 8's and 9's and they have more issues than National Geographic. I have no problem getting with a six in the face if she has a great body, cooks and cleans, great sex and has other great qualities.

 

[btownbuck2012]

No signs of cutting, anger or moodiness. I am actually a little dumbfounded. Most crazy chicks show all their cards in the first month.

It could be up to a year before the 180 happens

 

[btownbuck2012]

Haha, seriously though, have had my share of 8's and 9's and they have more issues than National Geographic. I have no problem getting with a six in the face if she has a great body, cooks and cleans, great sex and has other great qualities.

What other great qualities besides the sex? The sex has you blinded. That laundry list you gave us in the OP is a minefield of red flags.

 

[stovepipe]

Not going to throw the bpd card. But I will say her behavior would point me to the exit sign. All the sex and nice things she is doing now is to get you caught in her web. These types put themselves out there like that cause they know it works more often than not and they're very willing to take risks (sex) in order to lock down supply. No need to expose her, observe her "actions" as they reveal ones true self identity.

 

[soulforge]

Lets just say for example this chick is NOT bdp..

Have you seen the long list of potential red flags here?

Other than the HOT sex, you are facing a potential LIABILITY here pal.

I don't think the hot sex is worth the risk... I wouldn't get into a relationship with this one

 

[Billtx49]

The key to look for is evidence of past chaotic behavior, she will usually tell you as she has already started to, and the continued existence of chaos in her life.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

That said, if you're in a relationship with one you probably won't really be able to tell until the devaluation stage when she starts hating you.

This is very accurate. Many can hide it until that point. As for testing to determine if she has BPD, one thing I've learned is that most of them have a trigger and the trigger is often disapproval (you disapproving of them or something they did), or you being upset with them for some reason - neither are allowed because their entire identity hinges on what others think about them.

I can't say whether or not she has BPD but I've never had a good outcome from someone who came on that strong that fast. From your description of this girl's ex husband and her upbringing, I would strongly suspect avoidant attachment issues. These girls want to hook you and as soon as they start getting an emotional investment from you - one that looks like a relationship where you are doing things for her and getting close, they panic and split without any warning. In any case, I now treat these kinds of women the same as I do any others: Keep seeing other people, don't get emotionally invested, *definitely* don't commit to exclusivity, and then wait and see how things go. If you are still together after 12 months and things are looking good, then you can think about whether you want a relationship with her.

PS: I'm with you about the 6/10 thing.

 

[jaymbrs]

What other great qualities besides the sex? The sex has you blinded. That laundry list you gave us in the OP is a minefield of red flags.

Exactly. I was thinking the exact same thing.

 

[Murk]

Don’t get me wrong I’ve settled for a 6/10 in the face, but they have to be so on point in other areas. In this case the red flags outweigh the 6/10 and it’s just not worth it.

 

[Red Legg]

Hello OP... self proclaimed BPD expert here I read your post and I don't think you have a BPD on your hands.It takes me at least 4-6 months to confirm BPD status as these infernal creatures hide their BPDness......Some signs of a BPD (learned through experience) 1) Her dad is usually dead not alive she sometimes will have a shrine to him in her house and talk about him all the time 2) Natural blond's with blue eyes 3) Intense love bombing and over the top behavior such as paying for all dates,gift giving..3) Ego inflation constantly telling you that you are sooo hot and an awesome person constantly...4) A freak in the sheets with her nothing is taboo..5) Met under weird circumstances as in she choses you not your choosing her (BPD's are extremely picky. 6) Says she was abused or raped sometime in her life (letting you know she likes very rough sex.The above info was compiled over many BPD "relationships" by Red Legg.

 

[Von]

So I read only 1 positive thing: Good sex
And I've read 99 problems

 

[lizardking82]

Shallow and with a problematic past. Why would you enter a relationship with her? And you got 222 likes out of 219 posts? I would expect better from someone with that kind of social stigma around here.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Well it’s time to find out, isn’t it? Do your thing and just roll with it op. I’d slowly start giving her what she wants just because of how much she does. Reciprocate. And if she starts acting crazy, pull away. It’s no big deal. You’ll be okay. If anything, it’ll be a true test of your grit if things do head south. Between you and her.

 

[051AV]

Move on she's got issues galore, it doesn't sound like a BPD she's just got problems, you've probably got yourself a nice STD by now.