Am I doing something wrong here?

[pipeman84]

Hey OP, this proverb comes to mind: A fool may throw a stone into a well which a hundred wise men can not get out.

In other words, you're trying to find logical reason in the behavior of a hoe who probably was also drunk. C'mon man.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Meh

I've been with 19-22yos and I'm 29. It's never a problem unless you make it a problem

 

[DreamAgain]

Meh

I've been with 19-22yos and I'm 29. It's never a problem unless you make it a problem

You're probably not in america

 

[DreamAgain]

To OP, yeah this will be a problem in the US. The US mating environment is constructed for you to date in your age bracket, i.e. in college and immedietly after your first few years of professional working life.

You'll have to go across the pond if you want to minimize this problem.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

You're probably not in america

Huh. US sucks then

 

[DreamAgain]

Huh. US sucks then

Yes, for social interactions it sucks, for making money and acquiring materialistic things it is great.

 

[Davidlima]

I don't really have a better name for the thread where I describe this problem so this will have to do...

So I'm 28 and my favorite place to go out on weekends is this nearby college bar. I'm friends with a lot of the staff and managers and the only thing I ever really pay for when I go out here is the parking.

My other options for places to go out to like Philly or Ocean City are expensive, far away, or both. So usually I default to this spot. Plus, seeing as it's a college bar, there's a pretty steady stream of new hot girls.

Lately, I've been running into a problem where when I tell girls I don't go to school here and they ask my age it usually ends up being a dealbreaker for them and I'm not sure where that's coming from.

Even last night I told this girl how old I was, ended up going home and sleeping with her, and in the morning when she was asking me more about myself and didn't recall my age she didn't seem happy with my answer and said how I'm too old for her. When I went to leave I went to kiss her goodbye and she turned and gave me her cheek...and we were making out in bed and she was cuddled on me and s*** until she found out my age.

Então, talvez alguém possa me explicar isso porque muitas vezes vejo garotas mais novas namorando caras um pouco mais velhos, mas agora estou vendo o oposto acontecer. Eu me visto com roupas bem ajustadas, estou em ótima forma, e me mantenho bem arrumada, e na maioria das vezes essas garotas tentam adivinhar minha idade as respostas que costumo ouvir são 24-26. Mas, por algum motivo, a frase "tenho 28 anos" matou algumas das minhas conversas com essas garotas e não sei por quê.

Meu melhor palpite é que eles podem achar estranho que eu esteja há vários anos fora da faculdade e ainda vá para um bar da faculdade, mas além disso, eu não entendo, então espero que alguém possa pesar aqui.
[/CITAR]
PWhy do you need to answer this question directly, make the woman enjoy the pleasure of being with you, associate you with pleasure and she doesn't care if you are an old man.

 

[Bethatsocialguy]

Let me start by saying that I can relate. Just recently this HB9 was all about our interaction (this was a girl invited by one of my friend's to a Halloween party), she kept asking what I did for a living to which I always hold back because of the nature and privacy of my company but also for my age to which I eluded the question instead of answering right away with confidence for some reason. And like @Plinco and @Bethatsocialguy I failed in that regard. When I did eventually answer it was like I was committing a crime and was self-conscious about my age. Needless to say, her vibe was night and day right after that. She literally went back to her friends and didn't direct a single word to me.

I should have done what @Dr.Suave said, own it, agree, and amplify. Would that have changed the outcome? I honestly do not know, but I would've at least felt good about it instead of self-conscious.

But this goes to show you it happens to the best of us. While you didn't do anything wrong per se, this proves we are all continuously learning, and adjusting how we interact with women.

Keep in mind, I am a pretty confident and assertive man, but at that moment I flinched. It happens. The important thing is to never make the same mistake twice.

So yeah, next time you get asked for your age: Own it, be proud of it, and amplify. Keep in mind, you can't win them all so leave room for rejection without reason. Don't focus on the outcome, focus on the fact that you are confident in who you are (including your age).


Modern Man Advice

You could even disqualify her.
She says " how old are you?"
You say " too old for you"
She says "no way/really? How old?" (now she's curious so keep building the tension)
You say "how old do you think? Wait this is my young side" (turn head/body to one side)

You've made her more curious whilst maintaining a fun vibe. Girls just wana have fun. They may try to associate you with being old and not fun if you haven't laid down a fun enough vibe before then.

But yes confidence is key

 

[MtmVaott]

I'm several years out of college and still going to a college bar, but beyond that, I don't get it

Dude. What is there not to get? They expect you to go to college or at least be associated with it. Move on with your life. I get why you go there, but you have to either enroll, befriend college students, or look for them in bars for everybody.

 

[Plinco]

Dude. What is there not to get? They expect you to go to college or at least be associated with it.

I doubt that's got anything to do with it.

...or look for them in bars for everybody.

what does that mean?

 

[BPH]

I feel like I kinda got the answer to this question by Modern Man Advice along with some of the guys above stating this is more of a USA problem then an EU or elsewhere in the world problem.

Aside from that answer with confidence, but you'll be amazed at how this number, my age, throws all these women off once they hear it.

 

[Plinco]

I feel like I kinda got the answer to this question by Modern Man Advice along with some of the guys above stating this is more of a USA problem then an EU or elsewhere in the world problem.

Aside from that answer with confidence, but you'll be amazed at how this number, my age, throws all these women off once they hear it.

I like college aged girls too, and I'm a decade older than you. I've dated college aged girls in my mid 30's but I'm concerned on whether or not people get in my way if I want to date a 20 year old.

At the end of the day you have to look yourself in the mirror. Respect is more important than sex, but I still prefer to have both.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

You're probably not in america

I’m in my 5th decade and I’ve been with 19 year olds, it’s all frame bro. And no the most recent was a solid 8.5 - it can be done, and I’m not 6’ tall, or a celeb or filthy rich. In the US. And I certainly did not pay for it.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Let me start by saying that I can relate. Just recently this HB9 was all about our interaction (this was a girl invited by one of my friend's to a Halloween party), she kept asking what I did for a living to which I always hold back because of the nature and privacy of my company but also for my age to which I eluded the question instead of answering right away with confidence for some reason. And like @Plinco and @Bethatsocialguy I failed in that regard. When I did eventually answer it was like I was committing a crime and was self-conscious about my age. Needless to say, her vibe was night and day right after that. She literally went back to her friends and didn't direct a single word to me.

I should have done what @Dr.Suave said, own it, agree, and amplify. Would that have changed the outcome? I honestly do not know, but I would've at least felt good about it instead of self-conscious.

But this goes to show you it happens to the best of us. While you didn't do anything wrong per se, this proves we are all continuously learning, and adjusting how we interact with women.

Keep in mind, I am a pretty confident and assertive man, but at that moment I flinched. It happens. The important thing is to never make the same mistake twice.

So yeah, next time you get asked for your age: Own it, be proud of it, and amplify. Keep in mind, you can't win them all so leave room for rejection without reason. Don't focus on the outcome, focus on the fact that you are confident in who you are (including your age).


Modern Man Advice

Just say you're 69

 

[MtmVaott]

@Plinco
I don't know what venues OP goes to. I know venues which are run by students. If OP would go there as non-student, he would be perceived as a weirdo. If he goes to private venues which happen to attract lots of students, but also other folks who are already working, it wouldn't be weird.
I'm not sure if this is common sense on this site. More drastic example would be to walk to a schoolyard in the middle of the day and hit on the girls there (who are in legal age range).
By the way, when you do something like this, you are going out of your way to meet women. Not a good idea anyway.

 

[Plinco]

@Plinco
I don't know what venues OP goes to. I know venues which are run by students. If OP would go there as non-student, he would be perceived as a weirdo. If he goes to private venues which happen to attract lots of students, but also other folks who are already working, it wouldn't be weird.
I'm not sure if this is common sense on this site. More drastic example would be to walk to a schoolyard in the middle of the day and hit on the girls there (who are in legal age range).
By the way, when you do something like this, you are going out of your way to meet women. Not a good idea anyway.

That's mostly sound advice

 

[Plinco]

Guys I’m 44 and nailed a 31yo just last week - in America. My starter in the rotation is HB8 36yo and all my plates are significantly younger than me.

Truth: if you dress 10, act 10, look 10, drive 10, and keno 10….you will get laid regardless of age. It’s inevitable. If you don’t get lays it isn’t likely your age that needs fixing. You’re just using it as an excuse.

31 is not young, 36 is old af

 

[DreamAgain]

I’m in my 5th decade and I’ve been with 19 year olds, it’s all frame bro. And no the most recent was a solid 8.5 - it can be done, and I’m not 6’ tall, or a celeb or filthy rich. In the US. And I certainly did not pay for it.

Seems impossible but what do I know, I tip my cap to you, respect. Are these girls white and attending decent universities?

 

[Plinco]

Puahaha I require some real life adult experience. You can babysit the kids

Sure drop these girls off at my house

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The last one was a one year LTR going to a Christian university. I never especially targeted women that young, it kinda just happened. The problem is that those relationships are spring/fall, they have an expiration date. I want an age appropriate woman for an LTR these days and finding one that’s attractive, not neurotic, fit and agreeable is becoming almost futile. My age range is 40-55 now if a gal in her thirties shows interest I won’t turn my nose up, but I’m not having more kids or putting hers through college - been there, done that.

Seems impossible but what do I know, I tip my cap to you, respect. Are these girls white and attending decent universities?