Am I being too much of a prize?

[Aerospace]

My wannabe gf wrote me something along this line:

"I always feel like you're validating me... I feel in awe of you... this even happened during our first date''...

Man what a first date... it was all about C&F, humour and endless eye contact... at a point she even started playing footsie but I told her "No, I'm not that kind of a guy, maybe we should be friends for a longer time..."

But maybe I'm doing it too much... any ideas?

 

[SamePendo]

Originally posted by Aerospace

"I always feel like you're validating me... I feel in awe of you... this even happened during our first date''...

Please don't wuss up on us! Don't step into her reality and start getting her to take the shots.

It's your way or the highway.

Oh, and date more women.

 

[NoNickname]

Originally posted by Aerospace
My wannabe gf wrote me something along this line:

"I always feel like you're validating me... I feel in awe of you... this even happened during our first date''...

Man what a first date... it was all about C&F, humour and endless eye contact... at a point she even started playing footsie but I told her "No, I'm not that kind of a guy, maybe we should be friends for a longer time..."

But maybe I'm doing it too much... any ideas?

Just a short question: what is C&F?

 

[Jariel]

I had the same kind of thing said to me by two previous girlfriends. The one told me she felt intimidated by me and the other said I could have any woman I wanted and didn't understand why I chose her (even though she was a clear HB9 in mine and many guys' opinion). My problem was the social proof more than anything as their friends found me attractive and, not to sound bigheaded, I do have a lot of friends and female admirers. I also believe a former oneitis girl LJBF'd me for the same reason.

Originally I thought it was a trust issue that these girls thought I was a player, but it really came down to their own insecurities, and things like social proof, ****y behaviour and even neghits can make her feel worse.

Some guys here will argue against this, but it is a very real problem when girls put you on a pedestal and I've known many girls who sabotage their chances with guys because they feel unworthy and then end up settling for a "lesser" guy.

However, do not make my mistake of trying to feed her ego, reassuring her or kissing her ass to build her confidence. That's not your duty and you will end up reversing roles and being taken for granted.

Try to aim for more of a rapport, good conversation and let her feel like you have a unique connection. Slip in a few brief and passing compliments here and there and she'll feel more secure and more worthy without becoming egotistical.

Hope this has been of some help.

 

[Jariel]

Re: Re: Am I being too much of a prize?

Originally posted by NoNickname
Just a short question: what is C&F?

****y and Funny - a technique developed by David DeAngelo, like tongue in cheek arrogance.

 

[Aerospace]

Thank you, Jody.

She called me on the phone to speak about it...

I told her: "This is all so sweet and tender, and I'm sure we both know it, but I do not really feel like discussing such things on the phone. The awe you're feeling is right, we're getting to know each other. It's quite easy to be fascinated by me, so don't worry. Everything will be fine. Next time try to be a little more fascinating yourself. A kiss, wherever you allow me to give you one. Bye, now - gotta study!"

...don't know if this is the correct line. I'm willing to see her for a second time soon, and kiss-close her.

Date more girls, SamePendo? Too much is too much, pal!

I even flirted with another girl in her face when we were sipping our 'cappuccino' in a nice bar and she told me: "You're with me, why should you feel the need to flirt with other women?" - I told her: "Just to keep you excited about this date." - she even paid the bill at the end of the date, go figure.

Sarge on...

PS: Being the prize f**king works. Looks don't matter two ****s if you have confidence, wit irony and a charming composure.

 

[Aerospace]

Originally posted by Jariel
I had the same kind of thing said to me by two previous girlfriends. The one told me she felt intimidated by me and the other said I could have any woman I wanted and didn't understand why I chose her (even though she was a clear HB9 in mine and many guys' opinion). My problem was the social proof more than anything as their friends found me attractive and, not to sound bigheaded, I do have a lot of friends and female admirers. I also believe a former oneitis girl LJBF'd me for the same reason.

Originally I thought it was a trust issue that these girls thought I was a player, but it really came down to their own insecurities, and things like social proof, ****y behaviour and even neghits can make her feel worse.

Some guys here will argue against this, but it is a very real problem when girls put you on a pedestal and I've known many girls who sabotage their chances with guys because they feel unworthy and then end up settling for a "lesser" guy.

However, do not make my mistake of trying to feed her ego, reassuring her or kissing her ass to build her confidence. That's not your duty and you will end up reversing roles and being taken for granted.

Try to aim for more of a rapport, good conversation and let her feel like you have a unique connection. Slip in a few brief and passing compliments here and there and she'll feel more secure and more worthy without becoming egotistical.

Hope this has been of some help.

Jariel, I don't have your good looks (I'm kind of a 4.5 - 5.5 on the looks scale)... I think her awe is based upon my demeanor (she told me I'm kind of a lord) and my culture (I can literally speak about everything)

I won't place her on a pedestal, nor let she take me for granted. I won't cuddle her with words, but with actions, whenever I'll be able to meet her again (examinations a go-go in my university right now! -_-)

 

[tmpgstx]

Some guys here will argue against this, but it is a very real problem when girls put you on a pedestal and I've known many girls who sabotage their chances with guys because they feel unworthy and then end up settling for a "lesser" guy.

This is true. A key difference between men and women. Women need to feel 'worthy' to be in a relationship with a guy they feel is on the same level. A guy could care less.

 

[Malachi]

Welli think i think your talking like your some kind of god, any self respecting girl will tell you to go **** yourself...which you no doubt will have to if you continue acting like this.

-Malachi

 

[Egoist]

you dont want anyone who seeks validation in you, trust me.

don't lower your standards for an inferior woman, mmkay?

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by Malachi
Welli think i think your talking like your some kind of god, any self respecting girl will tell you to go **** yourself...which you no doubt will have to if you continue acting like this.

-Malachi

i think you are a typical insecure guy who gets ticked off when others may be better than you are.
who cares how he thinks of himself? mind your own business.

people like you are the same worthless fvcks who say **** like "wow, look at that guy, i mean he is a self-made billionaire, but who does he think he is to act like he controls his life and destiny?"


fvcking insecure sheeple.

 

[arlanda]

Originally posted by Jariel

Some guys here will argue against this, but it is a very real problem when girls put you on a pedestal and I've known many girls who sabotage their chances with guys because they feel unworthy and then end up settling for a "lesser" guy.

However, do not make my mistake of trying to feed her ego, reassuring her or kissing her ass to build her confidence. That's not your duty and you will end up reversing roles and being taken for granted.

Try to aim for more of a rapport, good conversation and let her feel like you have a unique connection. Slip in a few brief and passing compliments here and there and she'll feel more secure and more worthy without becoming egotistical.

Makes sense and clears up some confusion about me and this girl. Thanks.

 

[Aerospace]

Envy is the most sincere form of appreciation. Therefore, thank you from the bottom of my heart, Malachi.

By the way - a little lesson:

your means 'belonging to you'
you're means 'you are'

I'm not patronizing you, but helping myself reading your post with more ease next time, my friend. An advice: have more self-esteem: nobody is a God, but as soon as you start acting like one, people will kiss the ground on which you'll walk.

Egoist, I'm not lowering my standars. She's going to become a very successful lawyer (she has excellent marks in all her syllabus' subjects), is as tall as me (188 cm), maybe more nice (something between 7.5-8.5 on the looks scale). I'm just giving her the impression I'm better (this is the correct mindset, thinking you're the best of the pack), and making her validate herself. I'm the prize. Once she told me something like: "When we'll meet for our first date you'll have a chance to show me your worth!" - obviously she could not imagine that I was hosting the game, not her. Poor little thing... It's an "aut-aut" here, people: either you seek validation or you gently allow it once in a while.

Seduction is all about such things. In love, you can be the weakest half of the couple or the strongest one. I'm the man, so the outcome should be quite obvious.

 

[Malachi]

Originally posted by Egoist
i think you are a typical insecure guy who gets ticked off when others may be better than you are.
who cares how he thinks of himself? mind your own business.

people like you are the same worthless fvcks who say **** like "wow, look at that guy, i mean he is a self-made billionaire, but who does he think he is to act like he controls his life and destiny?"


fvcking insecure sheeple.

WOW that's abit harsh, i'm just saying my opinion dude...chill out.After reading his thread i thought he sounded too much like he was some kind of god and everyone else is worthless.

Yes i can understand you need to act like the prize...not the PRICK!.

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by Aerospace


Egoist, I'm not lowering my standars. She's going to become a very successful lawyer (she has excellent marks in all her syllabus' subjects), is as tall as me (188 cm), maybe more nice (something between 7.5-8.5 on the looks scale). I'm just giving her the impression I'm better (this is the correct mindset, thinking you're the best of the pack), and making her validate herself. I'm the prize. Once she told me something like: "When we'll meet for our first date you'll have a chance to show me your worth!" - obviously she could not imagine that I was hosting the game, not her. Poor little thing... It's an "aut-aut" here, people: either you seek validation or you gently allow it once in a while.

Seduction is all about such things. In love, you can be the weakest half of the couple or the strongest one. I'm the man, so the outcome should be quite obvious.

just remember that in order to have a successful LTR, you need to be with someone who does not look to you for validation or general life satisfaction. Thats the ONLY way it can last.

 

[Badmannaz]

Originally posted by Egoist
just remember that in order to have a successful LTR, you need to be with someone who does not look to you for validation or general life satisfaction. Thats the ONLY way it can last.

^^^^^

very true it's gotta b 50/50 jus b u don't try be somebody your not

i'm naturally C&F and come of jerkish sometimes but that's just me especially when i'm around girls

 

[Distant Light]

Nice frame your using, I am hoping to test it out soon.

One thing to note have you laid her yet? An how long you knew her?

Because I've known a few guys who played this hard to get frame alot and when came time for seduction they just dropped the frame to get the fuvk and end up getting LMR or just fuvk up period.

What your doing sounds pretty good but don't overdo it as you will end up overgaming.

Instead of doing just pure C&F

add some Push/Pull dynamic into the scenario. Kinda like what you did with the footsie crap. Keep us updated how this goes.