Am I being tested?

[the_bends]

Ok guys. Lemme break down the situation. It's Sunday night as I"m writing this. I work in the IT Department at the local hospital in town. There's a chick that I'm working on named Megan, and she works in the Radiology department. Therefore, I see her occasionally in the halls at work, as well as at school. Well, last Thursday (at work), our hallway conversation went beyond the usualy friendly "hello" and turned into a 5 minute convo. During this, Megan asked me "Where have you been? I haven't seen you at school lately!" along with other things that I took to be positive signs of interest. So, because catching her in the hallway is rare, I phoned her department later that evening and asked her if she'd like to grab some lunch one day. She said she did, and initially she wanted to have the lunch date the next day (I took this as another sign of high interest), which was Friday. Unfortunately, our work schedules conflicted for that day, and it wasn't possible. Despite this, I told her that we'd have to do it another time.----------->Fast forward to Friday. I still haven't phoned her yet. As I'm arriving at work, she was just getting off of her shift. She saw me, and drove and parked beside me in the parking lot. We talked for about ten minutes there. We had some small talk, ect. But the main point of the conversation was "What are your plans for the weekend?" I was using this question to sorta screen her social life....to see if the was seeing other guys and whatnot. She told me that she might go to <insert local football game here> with a girlfriend of hers. I had originally planned to attend that game with some friends of mine anyway, so, still feeling that her IL was high, I told her "well, maybe we'll see each other there" I hadn't called her yet, so I gave her my number and told her to gimme a call if she decided to show up. Fast forward to Friday night.--------->I'm at the game, and it's only in the first quarter. I then decided to phone her and see if she decided to show or not. When I phoned, I got no answer. At that time, I took this as a possible sign of disinterest. But then, my spirits were lifted when she promptly returned my call and asked me who was winning the game! Again, I took this as a good sign of interest. She and her friend went to a local circus in a neighboring town. We had a short convo. and she told me that she'd call me back later. She never called back that night. I took this in stride and decided to play it cool. I definitley didn't want to look desperate, so I didn't call her again that night. Fast forward to Saturday morning-------------> I may have made a mistake here...i'm not really sure. ANyway, I phoned her at abotu 11:30 that morning. She answered the first time I called, and we talked a bit. I asked her how her night was and all. She was eating lunch though (in a public place) So, she told me she'd call me back later. Well, she didn't call me back at all that day. Again, in an attempt to not seem desperate, I did not try to call her again that day or on Sunday (today).

This girl is sending me mixed messages. I'm not really understanding why she hasn't returned those calls. I feel that if she didn't wanna talk to me at all, she would've just ignored them instead of answering my calls. Please give me some new perspectives on this. I posted earlier requesting links to a few posts that I felt applied to this situation.

Specifically, these two.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=51904

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/persistence.htm



What do you guys think?
I'll probably see her tomorrow. How should I conduct myself?

 

[the_bends]

No replies???

 

[PeeGee]

Hi.

Ask her out.

Goodbye.

 

[the_bends]

Gee, thanks for the elaborate reply.

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

well what you have there- the chick is definately shyt testing you- I read that link about confident persistence and it sounds good. So just lay off for a little then ratchet up your game again and proceed from there.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by the_bends
I'll probably see her tomorrow. How should I conduct myself?

How should you CONDUCT YOURSELF??!

Well let's see...you have two choices here:

1) Conduct yourself in the way you think will most meet with her approval/judgement/attraction based on what you've learned about women from SoSuave.com and the dictations of your fellow DJs, OR...

2) Conduct yourself however the hell you WANT to conduct yourself...the way you KNOW is right from the advice you've assimilated from here over time by reading this forum and the DJ Bible.

How are you giving this woman the power to DICTATE to you how you should "conduct yourself"?? And she's not even DICTATING, you're so anxious over her that you're trying to GUESS what conduct she WOULD dictate so you can beat her to the punch!!

She's got you supplicating...trying to "conduct yourself appropriately". Weak, man. Weak.

So here's what you do...decide what YOU want from her. Then go get it. Seriously...do you WANT to be jerked around over the phone? If she says she'll call you right back, do you WANT to be sitting there waiting for a callback? Tell her you'll hit her back later, when it's convenient for YOU. Then do it. Although if she was interested she would stay on long enough for you to make the date.

And THAT'S what you need to do this time. If you want to go out with her, MAKE THE DATE. Set it down. NOW before her interest drops off any further.

And "conduct yourself" the way YOU think you should be conducted, ignoring judgement from her or anyone else. You've read the DJ Bible. You know all about what separates men from boys, you know what makes you a decent human being, and you know what your personality and your talents are. Let THAT dictate your "conduct", not the judgement of some chick you're trying to go out with. If she's not impressed, then you are wasted on her. But if she wasn't impressed, she'd have let you know by now, either through behavior/tone/body language or overtly. Or have you been missing that because you've been too busy looking for SPECIFIC signs instead of just FEELING her out?

Stop trying to decide what path to follow and MAKE YOUR OWN. Women like trailblazers.

 

[DJ_Dork]

I HATE READING LONG POSTS. SO I WILL ONLY ANSWER YOUR FIRST FEW SENTENCES.

You see her several times a week in person. Why the phone calls? Just ask her in person.

 

[Cremasta]

Originally posted by the_bends
But the main point of the conversation was "What are your plans for the weekend?" I was using this question to sorta screen her social life....to see if the was seeing other guys and whatnot. She told me that she might go to <insert local football game here> with a girlfriend of hers. I had originally planned to attend that game with some friends of mine anyway, so, still feeling that her IL was high, I told her "well, maybe we'll see each other there"

You had an opportunity here to go with her... When she said she was going with a girlfriend of hers you should have said something along the lines of "You can't go with her! Who is going to explain what's going on to you?!?"

Stop being so analytical, not even women are as scatterbrained as you are making her out to be!

She said that... she must be interested.
She said that... she's not interested anymore.
She said this... maybe she's interested again.

Lighten up a bit, have confidence in your ability to charm her and keep her interested.