Am I being played?

[gaspipe]

Well had a first date with 8.5 hb that I met on match the weekend before last. First meeting was a casual affair at a bar for some afternoon drinks. Immediately noticed positive body languange on her end. Somethings you cant fake. She was attracted to me.

Since then weve been texting each other and shed always answer my texts and would tell me to call her.

Last Thursday i called her around 815PM and the call just went to voicemail. Next day she texts me apologizing that she missed my call blah blah blah...that she was tired and went to bed early.

She then texts me that she will be home from work at around 730PM so I called her around 830PM. The phone rings twice and goes to voicemail.

I suspect she pressed the ignore button and cancelled my call or maybe the phone was off. who knows.

before i delete her number I wanted to give her the benefit of doubt because we really seemed to hit it off and shes really hot and smart to boot.

Do you guys think shes playing with me or should I give her a chance?

 

[Donnie Darko]

She is definitely dating other people and she is probably fvcking someone else.

Don't be so needy and clingy. Stop texting and calling this girl.

Spin more plates and date other girls.

 

[J Roc]

she was on a date with another guy from match.com at the time. get off those internet dating sites. its a rest haven for attention wh0res.

 

[3countriesPlan]

Ya dude, just don't contact her. Go ahead and campaign for some other booty and if she calls you have her come to somewhere convenient for you to meet. If you are meeting her at a bar or restaurant she should probably be paying too as she messed up already.

 

[Mr. Suave]

she was on a date with another guy from match.com at the time. get off those internet dating sites. its a rest haven for attention wh0res.

Absolutely correct...

 

[gaspipe]

I'd say that she definitely played you. Lesson learned.

When you called for her, she was perhaps already on the phone talking away to another guy, or, she was waiting for another guy to call her, so she simply ignored your call.

Doesn't matter her reasons for not picking up. Delete her number. If this happens in the future with another girl, simply delete that number, too, from your contacts and continue searching/talking/texting to other girls.

In my opinion, the only mistake you made was calling her a second time. When she invited you to call her a second time, you could have instead replied, "I'm busy now but you can call me at such and such a time tomorrow evening." Make HER do the work. Make HER express an interest. And most importantly, let her know that you're not like other guys, that you're not gonna let her get away with disrespecting you.

I personally like match.com and have used it to varying degrees of success since 2001 (when hardly anybody was posting pics of themselves!). I will tell you that these days, flaking seems to be at an all time high, whether you collect the number in the field or online. Collecting a number or getting an email means very little. The Internet has created the opportunity for men and women to be picky. You might swap several emails and even text a girl for awhile and think things are going well; then the next day she may dissapear. Don't worry about it. That's normal.

Be patient; play the online game slowly; keep emailing a girl till she offers her number; then text her; keep texting a girl until she asks you to call her. Again: make HER signal the interest. Usually, if she and I have established a strong enough attraction via text, she'll ask me to call her...right then and there.

Thanks for your input. But one thing I forgot to add is that actually last weekend I told her that I was going to call her and I didnt cause I had gone out for the weekend with some friends. The way I see it she may have gotten a little miffed that I didnt call as promised and she is exacting her revenge.

Anyways I decided not to give her the benefit of the doubt and deleted her number. If shes interested I know she will contact me.

 

[DonGorgon]

anytime you have to ask that the answer is yes .. and its usually the case when you dont have a clue also..lol

 

[gaspipe]

Hey Gaspipe don't worry about it. I think it's actually a GOOD thing that you didn't call her that weekend. I'll bet that she actually liked getting slighted because it was a refreshing turn of the tables. It's possible that she'll text you out of the blue in a few weeks, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Guess what? She texted me this afternoon apologizing that she didnt answer my call. I havent responded nor do I intend to. Maybe things didnt workout with her date.

 

[gaspipe]

anytime you have to ask that the answer is yes .. and its usually the case when you dont have a clue also..lol

I agree. Many times we really dont have a clue of what is going on behind our backs.

 

[st_99]

It doesn't appear you are being played but mostly just no interest. Played would mean she is leading you on to get something out of you but it sounds like she just doesn't care if you disappeared of the face of the earth.

 

[gaspipe]

+1 rep.

It takes ballz not to respond. You probably want to, but I wouldn't give in.

Now, if she texts you again, you could wait a day or two and then text back.

But, my strong feeling is, if she were really sorry, she would have called instead of texted you. I think her text is a half-azz response.

Good point. Yes a texted apology does seem half azz. I have a feeling though that it got to her when I didnt call her when I told her I would. Plus the fact the I also told her that I went away for the weekend with my friends probably made me look like a player in her eyes thereby raising her guard. Maybe shes playing me, maybe not. I will play it by ear and see what goes.

 

[joverby]

Guess what? She texted me this afternoon apologizing that she didnt answer my call. I havent responded nor do I intend to. Maybe things didnt workout with her date.

Exactly. If it rang twice and went to V/M, she ignored it, man.

Sh1t didn't pan out how she thought it would and now you're a back-up because she's probably out of options(FOR NOW!) You will most likely just be ignored / put on the back-burner as soon as she starts getting some more attention.

I had a girl blow me off then text me randomly like a week or two later. I made the mistake of responding back to her, just ignored me again. It's seeking validation / attention.

 

[Spearmint]

Since then weve been texting each other and shed always answer my texts and would tell me to call her.

Last Thursday i called her around 815PM and the call just went to voicemail. Next day she texts me apologizing that she missed my call blah blah blah...that she was tired and went to bed early.

She then texts me that she will be home from work at around 730PM so I called her around 830PM. The phone rings twice and goes to voicemail.

I suspect she pressed the ignore button and cancelled my call or maybe the phone was off. who knows.

before i delete her number I wanted to give her the benefit of doubt because we really seemed to hit it off and shes really hot and smart to boot.

Do you guys think shes playing with me or should I give her a chance?

Okay, so, I'm just going to pick a few things out of here that really infuriated me. I mean, me myself, I have been going through a bad case of one-itis and all that, and I struggle to take my own advice, but I give it well.


Okay, first of all "shed always answer my texts and would tell me to call her"
I'm sorry but would tell me to call her. Where are your balls, where is the alpha in you, she shouldn't be calling the shots!
You text her back and say, you call me and you know what, if she doesn't, **** her.


I'm going to comment on the way you have told us about this, why have you included time? I don't care, I'm sure the others don't care, the topic of discussion was are you being played? Yes. She is ****ing you round.


You have already become to interested in her and exhibited way to much so early on, you are already her *****. It doesn't matter if she was a supermodel or a tramp, the same rule still applies, do not put her above you at all



"give her the benefit of doubt because we really seemed to hit it off and shes really hot and smart to boot."

By all means give her the benefit of the doubt. Here is a rule I live by when it comes to ringing someone.

In the UK, where I live, it rings 5 times before it enters voicemail, if someone cuts you off before 5 times, they know you are ringing and they do not want to speak


If you live abroad or in the states wherever, find out how many rings is a voicemail entry and then remember it.


Freeze her out, push and pull techniques on her, organise a date with her, and purposely flake on her.


Imagine yourself as a mirror. Mirror what she does. If she doesn't text you, don't text her.

 

[The_411]

Congruency also applies to women. If you call and she texts that's not congruent especialyl at the beginning. If a girl is into you and you call she'll either pick up or if it goes to voicemail she'll call you the next day if possible. Texting after a call is basically marginalizing the effort you put it to call her and to avoid dealing with you which of course means little or no interst.

Her text was an afterthought either to say she was feeling guilty or her other options didn't pan out.

By freezing her out she'll either start to wonder why you don't seem to give a flip or she'll forget about you altogether. At least then you'll have a better understanding of she feels about you.

 

[Spearmint]

Congruency also applies to women. If you call and she texts that's not congruent especialyl at the beginning. If a girl is into you and you call she'll either pick up or if it goes to voicemail she'll call you the next day if possible. Texting after a call is basically marginalizing the effort you put it to call her and to avoid dealing with you which of course means little or no interst.

Her text was an afterthought either to say she was feeling guilty or her other options didn't pan out.

By freezing her out she'll either start to wonder why you don't seem to give a flip or she'll forget about you altogether. At least then you'll have a better understanding of she feels about you.

Couldn't of put it better myself if I am honest. If she isn't meeting half way, she really isn't worth the energy expenditure.


I mean, it's been how long and you are already on here seeking advice about her, sounds like she has been on match.com for a reason.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Why does everyone expect this girl to have high IL after one date? Do you guys seriously delete numbers of girls that don't call back right away?

Here's the reality factor: Yes, she is dating other guys. Yes, she's not all that invested in you...but that's because you are a STRANGER, and she hung out with you ONCE. It would be WEIRD if she was calling YOU and begging to hang out again; well-adjusted, desirable women don't do this to strangers.

The fact that she is responding AT ALL means this is still game on. You don't NEXT a girl you haven't slept with based on the fact that she isn't breaking down your door to go out with you; you persist until you get a firm NO or no response whatsoever. This is how you close the deal. All hot chicks are flaky in the beginning; this one actually isn't all that bad.

Don't text her that much, and just focus on getting her out in person. Don't give her s#it about ignoring calls, either. You don't get mad or judgmental, you simply execute the program. If you NEXT girls for not displaying high IL right away, you might as well quit game and just date a coworker that's single.

 

[Spearmint]

Why does everyone expect this girl to have high IL after one date? Do you guys seriously delete numbers of girls that don't call back right away?

Here's the reality factor: Yes, she is dating other guys. Yes, she's not all that invested in you...but that's because you are a STRANGER, and she hung out with you ONCE. It would be WEIRD if she was calling YOU and begging to hang out again; well-adjusted, desirable women don't do this to strangers.

The fact that she is responding AT ALL means this is still game on. You don't NEXT a girl you haven't slept with based on the fact that she isn't breaking down your door to go out with you; you persist until you get a firm NO or no response whatsoever. This is how you close the deal. All hot chicks are flaky in the beginning; this one actually isn't all that bad.

Don't text her that much, and just focus on getting her out in person. Don't give her s#it about ignoring calls, either. You don't get mad or judgmental, you simply execute the program. If you NEXT girls for not displaying high IL right away, you might as well quit game and just date a coworker that's single.

Well said.

But this early in the game and he is asking is he being played? If you aren't careful you're going to end up shooting yourself in the foot, either by letting the paranoia get ahold of you that she is ignoring you or something else.


You can usually tell when you are putting in to much effort and nobody on here can really judge that for certain. If you start to feel unhappy with the amount of effort being put in, then in my own honest opinion I would next it, regardless if you have slept with her yet or not.


I think you should spin more plates, that way you won't be to bothered if she flakes on you, or doesn't return the odd text now and again. It also focuses your attentions elsewhere, spreads them so to speak, so you don't do yourself any bother by overthinking the slightest thing.

 

[TopGun2000]

I guess people are trying to find those girls who are really into you instead of converting those not very interested.

Why does everyone expect this girl to have high IL after one date? Do you guys seriously delete numbers of girls that don't call back right away?

Here's the reality factor: Yes, she is dating other guys. Yes, she's not all that invested in you...but that's because you are a STRANGER, and she hung out with you ONCE. It would be WEIRD if she was calling YOU and begging to hang out again; well-adjusted, desirable women don't do this to strangers.

The fact that she is responding AT ALL means this is still game on. You don't NEXT a girl you haven't slept with based on the fact that she isn't breaking down your door to go out with you; you persist until you get a firm NO or no response whatsoever. This is how you close the deal. All hot chicks are flaky in the beginning; this one actually isn't all that bad.

Don't text her that much, and just focus on getting her out in person. Don't give her s#it about ignoring calls, either. You don't get mad or judgmental, you simply execute the program. If you NEXT girls for not displaying high IL right away, you might as well quit game and just date a coworker that's single.