This is about a girl that's in our online gaming group (no clan, just a group of people who play online on a regular basis in their spare time, my sister is in it, her ex, her current BF, we all get along, it's fun, I know half the people personally... none of that "15yo kiddies clan" crap. We're all adults.)
We never talked much, I was always my playful self. I don't invest in any online guy-girl relationships on principle. One day I complimented a picture she put up on facebook, and I did it because I genuinely thought it was a nice picture. Just "Hey, you look great in that picture."
We got to talk a bit, but nothing special. Then we met when we had another meet-up of a few people in our group, and we met, got along just fine, even great, she seemed into me. My views on long-distance relationships are well-known in that group (they don't exist). Some kissing but she wouldn't even go for the tongue and kept saying "that's all you'll get" in a playful tone. Ground up against me a lot after she had a few drinks in the club, but still no tongue.
Now, for a while now and due to all the crap I've had to deal with from women, I've adopted a no-bull**** approach to all this, and when a girl pulls that one on me, I just drop the **** out.
She "fell into" my bed one night we'd all had a lot to drink, I woke up but just kept on sleeping because I couldn't be bothered after what she'd said.
So the meeting is over, we all drive back home, she keeps messaging me, I stay just as before, and reports get in from my sister and the other people that she's asking about me and really into me. Apparently she told a few people that for her sex outside a relationship is a no-go.
One night she wants to "talk about it all".
It's interesting how not long ago I would've not talked about these things on principle, because "talking about it all" can kill all your chances. I found that I didn't care and because I didn't care, I could just do whatever I wanted. It's not that I didn't care about it working with her specifically, just that state when you know the world is full of women and that if this one doesn't work the way you want, well, your life will be just the same...
I make it perfectly clear to her in that conversation that I a) do not want, or believe in, any kind of long-distance relationship, b) will not, under any circumstances, move to where she lives, not even close, because I love the south of Germany and this is where I want to live (she lives more in the north) and c) will not be in a relationship with a smoker.
Her comment on c) is "well the smoking bit can be changed" (it being clear that she means her smoking, not my view on it...)
She doesn't even tries to argue one bit, just sounds disappointed, I tell her it's not that easy for me because I do like her, but hey, that's life for you. We talk a bit more, and she drops "well for us to have sex you'd have to be in a relationship" and I go "Well, see, this solves our problem, because I don't enter a relationship without sex." She sounds taken aback, tries to argue, then says, quite sourly: "I have to go and meet some friends." Later, my friends tell me she told she'd gone to drown her frustration.
Ok, so, getting to the point: she asked if she could visit me, I said, weeeeell, if I can find the time... I can fit you in there (at the time it was unclear whether I'd need to have my tonsils removed). She books tickets. This is due to be next week.
Now, I'm a bit confused. She knows my views on LDR and on everything else. My sister tells me she messaged her after the "big talk" telling her how she couldn't get me out of her head, blabla, all that crap. Apparently she's thinking about joining the army, and the army has a university in Munich, where I live, so she could come live in Munich... apparently because of me. And because nothing is holding her back in her home town. She's working behind the counter trying to find a new job "behind a desk" somewhere.
All this time I'd been asking myself why this girl, who's met me for just three days, would come halfway across Germany just to see me. Everyone keeps telling me she just likes me, my sister says she did the same for her boyfriend (they are in a LDR...), bla bla yadda yadda.
We, here, know it doesn't work that way. And today it hits me: She probably just wants to get a first look at Munich and I'm being the ****ing free hotel.
I run this idea by my friend and he just calls me an idiot. What is so hard to believe about this girl just liking you, he says?
Am I just being paranoid? Not only about this broad, but about women in general? My past experiences have told me that there's no free lunch in this business, you have to work damned hard to find something good (even if "working hard" is just "filtering" a lot, which is work in itself.) So my instincts tell me there's something here which can't be good, which I need to watch out for.
Views?
We never talked much, I was always my playful self. I don't invest in any online guy-girl relationships on principle. One day I complimented a picture she put up on facebook, and I did it because I genuinely thought it was a nice picture. Just "Hey, you look great in that picture."
We got to talk a bit, but nothing special. Then we met when we had another meet-up of a few people in our group, and we met, got along just fine, even great, she seemed into me. My views on long-distance relationships are well-known in that group (they don't exist). Some kissing but she wouldn't even go for the tongue and kept saying "that's all you'll get" in a playful tone. Ground up against me a lot after she had a few drinks in the club, but still no tongue.
Now, for a while now and due to all the crap I've had to deal with from women, I've adopted a no-bull**** approach to all this, and when a girl pulls that one on me, I just drop the **** out.
She "fell into" my bed one night we'd all had a lot to drink, I woke up but just kept on sleeping because I couldn't be bothered after what she'd said.
So the meeting is over, we all drive back home, she keeps messaging me, I stay just as before, and reports get in from my sister and the other people that she's asking about me and really into me. Apparently she told a few people that for her sex outside a relationship is a no-go.
One night she wants to "talk about it all".
It's interesting how not long ago I would've not talked about these things on principle, because "talking about it all" can kill all your chances. I found that I didn't care and because I didn't care, I could just do whatever I wanted. It's not that I didn't care about it working with her specifically, just that state when you know the world is full of women and that if this one doesn't work the way you want, well, your life will be just the same...
I make it perfectly clear to her in that conversation that I a) do not want, or believe in, any kind of long-distance relationship, b) will not, under any circumstances, move to where she lives, not even close, because I love the south of Germany and this is where I want to live (she lives more in the north) and c) will not be in a relationship with a smoker.
Her comment on c) is "well the smoking bit can be changed" (it being clear that she means her smoking, not my view on it...)
She doesn't even tries to argue one bit, just sounds disappointed, I tell her it's not that easy for me because I do like her, but hey, that's life for you. We talk a bit more, and she drops "well for us to have sex you'd have to be in a relationship" and I go "Well, see, this solves our problem, because I don't enter a relationship without sex." She sounds taken aback, tries to argue, then says, quite sourly: "I have to go and meet some friends." Later, my friends tell me she told she'd gone to drown her frustration.
Ok, so, getting to the point: she asked if she could visit me, I said, weeeeell, if I can find the time... I can fit you in there (at the time it was unclear whether I'd need to have my tonsils removed). She books tickets. This is due to be next week.
Now, I'm a bit confused. She knows my views on LDR and on everything else. My sister tells me she messaged her after the "big talk" telling her how she couldn't get me out of her head, blabla, all that crap. Apparently she's thinking about joining the army, and the army has a university in Munich, where I live, so she could come live in Munich... apparently because of me. And because nothing is holding her back in her home town. She's working behind the counter trying to find a new job "behind a desk" somewhere.
All this time I'd been asking myself why this girl, who's met me for just three days, would come halfway across Germany just to see me. Everyone keeps telling me she just likes me, my sister says she did the same for her boyfriend (they are in a LDR...), bla bla yadda yadda.
We, here, know it doesn't work that way. And today it hits me: She probably just wants to get a first look at Munich and I'm being the ****ing free hotel.
I run this idea by my friend and he just calls me an idiot. What is so hard to believe about this girl just liking you, he says?
Am I just being paranoid? Not only about this broad, but about women in general? My past experiences have told me that there's no free lunch in this business, you have to work damned hard to find something good (even if "working hard" is just "filtering" a lot, which is work in itself.) So my instincts tell me there's something here which can't be good, which I need to watch out for.
Views?
