Am I being led on

[bigg jimmie]

Hello All

My friends, I have this little question that has been burning in my mind all night long. Tonight I was supposed to go out with this girl. I am telling you this is no ordainary girl. She has the looks of a goddess and this way about her that would make any man with a functioning brain melt.

Well about two hours before I was supposed to go meet her she calls and tells me that she has to go and do something with her mother and that she won't be able to go out with me tonight. Well of course I am disappointed. After she tells me that she then asks me if I would want to get together with her later this week. Of course I said yes and then she asked me what day would be good. Then she told me to call her sometime later this week.

I don't know if I am being strung along. I mean I have had a lot of women in the past to lead me on and it has made me paranoid. Does it sound to you guys that I am being led on?

 

[WaterTiger]

What a b!tch! She's treating you like crap. She's beautiful & knows she can have any guy she wants. If she calls back...tell her you're busy. Make her chase you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stop wasting your time. She stood you up for her mom, on a weekend. Yeah she asks you to go out later in the week to appease you but instead of setting a day, she has you call her so she can conveniently not be available then too.

Set you sights on a HB6 to practice on until you get out of AFC mode.

 

[Walden]

Don't just next. Call her on the ditching (she ditched you by the way) and tell her she was rude. Sometimes they fall over themselves to come back to you after this and sometimes they don't.

 

[Craig Reeves]

Actually.....you know what?

I wouldn't ditch her just yet....

Listen, call and cancel the date. And let her know that you will be busy for the rest of the week, and that you will call her the next time that you have some time to get together with her.

The reason why I said not to ditch her yet is because I think this girl needs to learn a lesson in what it's like to be with a REAL man.

 

[MVPlaya]

Hmm...

Mix what Walden and Reefer told you,

Call her on her ditch (although the apex moment for this would have been as she called you, 2 hours beforehand) and tell her you thought it was rude and you had better **** to do (don't have the slighest hesitation or worry in your tone). If she apologizes and says she wants to get together with you again, say you'll be busy but tell her that SHE has to call YOU if she wants to make plans so that you can find a day when YOU will have time. If you have no social life and any day of the week is free time to you pretend you have something to do.

 

[studmuffin15]

don't u guys think ur being a little too quick to jump here?

look...

1.) in my experience, if a girl isn't interested, she will cancel and that will be it. it seems like she made an honest attempt to reschedule by bringing it up herself. chicks with no interest wont normally do this, bcuz it will only force them to cancel again down the line. i think that this was a good sign.

2.) cut her some slack. she didnt have to wash her hair - she needed to help her mother. did she go into specifics? if so, what were they? if she didnt, maybe its a personal thing. maybe her mothers genital warts flared up and she had to take her to the doc. u dont know........

3.) i would say lay low for a few days and call her early in the week to set something up for a few days later. if she cant make it this second time, or she cancels again, THEN u will get a much better indication as to whether she is playing u. at this point, i dont see the sense if "nexting" her right now....i think u would be being unfair to both of u.

plus...she left the ball in ur court. u are supposed to call her. therefore, she is the one who is kept waiting. it doesnt matter if she wants to be pursued or not. she didnt tell u that she will call u. this would keep u waiting for her and give her the control which would suck, bcuz then it may easily turn out being one of those "don't call me, i'll call u", which they never seem to do.

i think this whole things needs to be played out for one more week in order for u to see some better indications. keep us posted.

 

[studmuffin15]

and whats the point in calling her on her ditch? at this point, all its gonna do is make u sound like an insecure little bytch...ESPECIALLY if she has genuine interest in u and this cancellation is totally legit. if she has genuine interest in u and u "call" her on it at this point in the game, ur gonna sound like an insecure, possessive dyck.

like i said, attempt once more -- thats all. 2 attempts dont put u in AFC land. a second attempt only serves to clarify the shady results of the first one. if u want to call her on something, call her on it if she blows u off a second time.

if she blows u off a second time, and u keep coming back for more, now u can rest assured that ur AFC. nothing wrong at all with the "2 strikes ur out"

 

[echo1212]

Couple things here.

First, youre putting her on a pedastel by calling her a goddess and drooling all over her. With that attitude you'll NEVER get with her for any period time because you'll constantly be suplicating to her and giving her the attitude of shes better than you, even if you don't realize you are.

Secondly, give her another shot. Sure, more than likely she was just making up an excuse about her mother. But..you don't know that for sure. Don't bring it up again with her, because if she really did have something else to do, you'll come of as a psycho and never have any chance with her. More than likely she didnt know for sure if she wanted to go out with you so she made that excuse up. My present gf did the same thing, i gave her a shot and weve been together for 7 months. I mean its not afc to try again. But only one more time.

So, call her later this week, ask her out, see if she accepts and go from there. Don't be calling her tonight or in the next day or two. Wait until Weds. or so. Don't make much small talk, just ask her out and make the date fun and carefree if she accepts. Good luck.

 

[myfriendblu]

jimmie,
this is what us DJs' here like to call "flaking". Its when a girl that YOU like, but has low IL in you does to get out of a date.

When a girl has very high IL, she will basically do whatever it takes, cancel all plans, to hang out with you. Once, a girl I was going on a third date with, whom had VERY high IL in me, called me a few minutes before our date begin. Her car wouldn't start, dead battery. Guess what? She grabbed her mountain bike and biked a 4 mile trip to my house to see me. This is the same girl whome I have called a million times at 2 am to come pick me up at the bar because I was to drunk to drive. She would wake up, come get me, and drive me home.

Jim, thats what high IL is all about. This girls IL in you isn't even remotely close enough for you to even call her again. Once she has flaked, NEXT.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Couple things I wanted to add here. I think everyone has good ideas, the crowd that says to NEXT her and the crowd that says give it one more shot. But the deciding factor in this, is BIGG JIMMIE!!!

You see if this girl was actually interested in Jim, then this would not be a big deal. A lot of you think because she did "politely" offer to do something later on in the week that she's still interested. HARDLY!! That was classic chick logic working at its best!! She didn't want to feel bad ABOUT HERSELF, so she offered to hangout even though we all know she has absolutely NO INTENTIONS of doing so.

Studmuffin says that since she put the ball in "your court" that it should be taken as a sign of interest....WRONG!!! She's only saying that so she can suddenly be when he calls on that night too! If Jim wasn't so busy putting this ***** up on a pedastal, then he would have asked her to call him so he doesn't waste anymore time "obessing" over this girl.

Jim I hate to be this way, but this girl has NO INTEREST IN YOU!! That was suppose to be your first real get together and she flaked out!! If you guys had been out 3 or 4x then it would be a little different. However she doesnt even respect you enough to go out with you. Trust me bro!! Just based on your post, I can tell your an AFC!!!! You supplicate to her needs=not attractive!! You should have put the ball in her court and ditched her then. All your going to get from this is a lesson in how to be more Alpha.


PIMP

 

[bigg jimmie]

Just a quick question?

What is an AFC

Also I have decided after talking to my friends to just ditch this girl. If she really wanted to go with me nothing should have stopped her.

 

[echo1212]

Wrong answer. Do this. Ask her to a fun, short, casual date. Maybe a lunch date or coffee. I'm telling you, maybe she was just nervous about you, I mean she hardly knew you right? Or, maybe, she really did have something to do with her mom. Doubtfull, but ya never know.

My point is youre not going to afc hell by asking her out one more time. No one is going to sit there and laugh at you and say what a wuss you were for asking her out again. Give her one more try, like I said with a short fun date and let her get to know you a little. There is nothing wrong with giving a person a second chance. Three strikes and your out, but not two.

 

[bigg jimmie]

What is AFC

What does AFC stand for

 

[Walden]

Average Frustrated Chump.

You have to say "Chump" so that the last "p" comes out with a "pop".

 

[studmuffin15]

pimp:

read over my post again. nowhere did i say that by putting the ball in his court, that it should be construed as interest on her part. all i said was that for his sake, he is better off bcuz he's not left waiting all week for her to call him. he's got control of the situation and if anyone's gonna be waiting, it will be her.

again, i think u guys sometimes let this DJ persona go to your heads --- it's wayyy too early to next this chick! like i recommended before, he should make one more move and see how things go. if she blows him off once more, then he knows for sure and can move on.

blu-- it's cool to hear of ur chick's mountain bike story. but dont automatically assume every girl would do this. hell, i would never do that for a girl --- regardless of how interested i am. u will be drawing the wrong conclusions if u are using ur chick as a baseline--- she is the extreme exception!

 

[princelydeeds]

If you don't know what an AFC is that means you haven't read "The Bible" Click the black line at the top of the page that says "The DJ Bible,"

This chick is flkaing on you in a major way. DOn't call her on her flake, it will only make her think she was right about you. Don't call her for a while. Try to run into her in a few places, be nice but don't sweat her when you see her. Act like you are the man on a very busy schedule. BE cool as hell when you see her, but act like she blew her chance, and with so many women and so little time you don't have time for her.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by studmuffin15
pimp:

blu-- it's cool to hear of ur chick's mountain bike story. but dont automatically assume every girl would do this. hell, i would never do that for a girl --- regardless of how interested i am. u will be drawing the wrong conclusions if u are using ur chick as a baseline--- she is the extreme exception!

True true muffin,
I was just using it as an example off the top of my head. I was trying to exemplify what high IL is and what low IL is. It is SO IMPORTANT, heck THE most important thing, when it comes to dating. The ability to read IL. Jim cant do this. he may as well be trying to swim with no arms. Jim, go read the bible, and pay attention to posts, tips on IL.

 

[zhugeliang]

Find out more first, ie. has she a close relatioship with her mom, was it an urgent thing? - If not, your wasting your time.