Am I being AFC? quick advice needed :)

[linsanity94]

So I've been seeing this girl since Jan. We have gone on quite a number of dates. I have been spinning other plates as well during this time. But this is the first girl I've connected with and actually liked since my ex a year ago.

I feel I may have been rushing things too quickly and shown too much affection during our last couple of times.

So on our most recent date this Saturday she seemed very cold and distant and not into PDA. I hit her up to hangout with me and my buddies as we were drinking and smoking Saturday early morning but she said yes and then no later saying she was too tired. We haven't texted since she said no.

So anyways, we were planning to go to this event tomorrow (Wednesday) which I bought and have both tickets (but she paid me for hers).

Should I just wait for her to text me about going? Or should I initiate and ask her (I feel that seems more AFC and desperate on my part).

I feel if she really is into me she would initiate and text me about going (afterall she did pay for her tix). I feel if you really like the guy you wouldn't forget about the event anyways lol.

Thanks again

 

[salinechow]

My first reaction was one of her plates took your spot. Unfortunately, as hard as it might be...NO, I would not reach out about the event. Look, being nice to a girl, showing interest, and being affectionate is not going to turn her off. Yet, it just might not turn her on either, if she never has to work for or worry about it. Makes it less valuable. I would withdraw. "If a girl withdraws and inch, you withdraw 10 miles." I know it doesnt always feel right, but, it is the right thing to do, and, it does work sometimes. Or, its over and you both just ghost and move on, that happens too. Yet, both of those options are better for your bigger picture and frame as a person.

AFC's will wonder why, how to save it, what went wrong, how to correct it, how to earn it back, how to make her see you are the greatest guy ever and how connected you both are. All of those things, thoughts and actions, will make her throw up in her mouth when she sees your # or pictures that you took together.

A man of value sees that he did the best he could and realizes that women's desires can change with the wind and that's okay. She didnt see your value, that's on her, and, that's okay too. She maybe made a mistake, but she is entitled to her selections and life lived.


Here is my boil down of advice for you, to make it simple:

There is no actions or words you can take or say, that will fix this, if she has gone cold or had a change of heart. The only thing that can rescue it, would be her words or actions. WAIT for that. Move on while you do.

Start thinking immediately a cool chick to take in her place to the event. Otherwise, like Sonny said in the Bronx Tale "It only cost you 20 bucks to get rid of her forever. Forget about it."

Warm up another plate man. Sorry about your potential loss.

-Saline

 

[Fireballs]

Could be a number of reasons why she's become distant. Girls feelings change like the breeze but most likely there's another guy in the picture.

I understand that all you feel like doing is calling her or texting her but it's counter productive. You need to pull back even though it's hard to do.

 

[Speculator E]

OP, a lot of guys here are quick to think that the reason a girl becomes distant is due to another guy. While this may or may not be true I don't see any sign in your post that there's another guy. Women feeling change all the time and it could be due to PMS. There's no need to panic if that's the reason, just give it a week or two and see if your girl return to normal.

 

[linsanity94]

OP, a lot of guys here are quick to think that the reason a girl becomes distant is due to another guy. While this may or may not be true I don't see any sign in your post that there's another guy. Women feeling change all the time and it could be due to PMS. There's no need to panic if that's the reason, just give it a week or two and see if your girl return to normal.

She was on her period this weekend lol.

 

[linsanity94]

My first reaction was one of her plates took your spot. Unfortunately, as hard as it might be...NO, I would not reach out about the event. Look, being nice to a girl, showing interest, and being affectionate is not going to turn her off. Yet, it just might not turn her on either, if she never has to work for or worry about it. Makes it less valuable. I would withdraw. "If a girl withdraws and inch, you withdraw 10 miles." I know it doesnt always feel right, but, it is the right thing to do, and, it does work sometimes. Or, its over and you both just ghost and move on, that happens too. Yet, both of those options are better for your bigger picture and frame as a person.

AFC's will wonder why, how to save it, what went wrong, how to correct it, how to earn it back, how to make her see you are the greatest guy ever and how connected you both are. All of those things, thoughts and actions, will make her throw up in her mouth when she sees your # or pictures that you took together.

A man of value sees that he did the best he could and realizes that women's desires can change with the wind and that's okay. She didnt see your value, that's on her, and, that's okay too. She maybe made a mistake, but she is entitled to her selections and life lived.


Here is my boil down of advice for you, to make it simple:

There is no actions or words you can take or say, that will fix this, if she has gone cold or had a change of heart. The only thing that can rescue it, would be her words or actions. WAIT for that. Move on while you do.

Start thinking immediately a cool chick to take in her place to the event. Otherwise, like Sonny said in the Bronx Tale "It only cost you 20 bucks to get rid of her forever. Forget about it."

Warm up another plate man. Sorry about your potential loss.

-Saline

Thanks for the advice Saline. Definitely will go no contact and see if they respond. But in the mean time I'll move on )

 

[El Payaso]

Don't text her about it. If she texts you afterward along why you didn't text her, say you had to help a family member move.

 

[linsanity94]

Don't text her about it. If she texts you afterward along why you didn't text her, say you had to help a family member move.

Haha good excuse I'll use that

 

[Yewki]

Don't text her about it. If she texts you afterward along why you didn't text her, say you had to help a family member move.

Not a fan of lying like that. Now you have to keep track of your lie and possibly dig the hole deeper if she asks for details. Not to mention it's lame. When I suspect people are making sh*t up like this I lose respect for them.

Here's my breakdown of this silence showdown situation. If neither of you say anything at all beforehand, you're both immature. So about an hour before you leave, if she hasn't contacted you yet, either call her or send her a simple "See you there at Xplace." If she won't answer/respond, assume she's not going and act accordingly.

Just because she doesn't say anything doesn't mean you should also act like a borderline autistic adult. My opinion of course.

 

[RangerMIke]

There is no actions or words you can take or say, that will fix this, if she has gone cold or had a change of heart. The only thing that can rescue it, would be her words or actions. WAIT for that. Move on while you do.

Women change with their emotions, nothing you can do about it. You have her ticket... if she wants it she will reach out to you, otherwise just plan on going yourself, or take someone else and send her the money she paid for the ticket.

 

[linsanity94]

Not a fan of lying like that. Now you have to keep track of your lie and possibly dig the hole deeper if she asks for details. Not to mention it's lame. When I suspect people are making sh*t up like this I lose respect for them.

Here's my breakdown of this silence showdown situation. If neither of you say anything at all beforehand, you're both immature. So about an hour before you leave, if she hasn't contacted you yet, either call her or send her a simple "See you there at Xplace." If she won't answer/respond, assume she's not going and act accordingly.

Just because she doesn't say anything doesn't mean you should also act like a borderline autistic adult. My opinion of course.

Good advice Yewki.

I think ill just shoot them a text a couple of hours beforehand if they still don't hit me up. This will give me some time so I can find someone else to go with as well.

Thanks again for the help!

 

[Trump]

So I've been seeing this girl since Jan. We have gone on quite a number of dates. I have been spinning other plates as well during this time. But this is the first girl I've connected with and actually liked since my ex a year ago.

I feel I may have been rushing things too quickly and shown too much affection during our last couple of times.

So on our most recent date this Saturday she seemed very cold and distant and not into PDA. I hit her up to hangout with me and my buddies as we were drinking and smoking Saturday early morning but she said yes and then no later saying she was too tired. We haven't texted since she said no.

Why do you guys go out of your way to bring girls you are in love with and want to have constant sex out with your buddies? There are so many things that can wrong if your best friend from grade school finds her attractive and wants to have sex with her too.

So anyways, we were planning to go to this event tomorrow (Wednesday) which I bought and have both tickets (but she paid me for hers).

Should I just wait for her to text me about going? Or should I initiate and ask her (I feel that seems more AFC and desperate on my part).

I feel if she really is into me she would initiate and text me about going (afterall she did pay for her tix). I feel if you really like the guy you wouldn't forget about the event anyways lol.

Thanks again

Think this site is confused about what is AFC. The girl doesn't want to have constant sex with us on a certain night and we play hardball when have something to do with her.

You text her: "How are you feeling? Are we still good to go to the event on Wednesday?"

Imagine if you had a movie star actress you were in love with that wanted to go with you to the event, what would you do? Tell the movie star no you can't go because you are alpha and have to wait for a girl to text you because that shows she is really interested?

Brutal.