okay, here's the thing, i'm a pretty nice guy and i like to tease people. at work i would mess around with the customers and just really tease them. no hard feelings right? next thing u know i'm getting a complaint that i'm rude and this and that. but all i did was a little ****y n funny attitude and they really get agitated. most of people i play around with loves talking to me and very few other just think its plain rude (women). but most of these that think i'm rude were HB7+. as for me i'm comfortable being the way i am and they probably couldn't believe i could say this and that. i mean i can be a great nice guy but when i joke i around i get really ****y n funny per se. so what gives, is there any djs out there that a few women think u guys are rude when trying to have a laugh?
Am i being a real jerk?
- Thread starter t00dumb
- Start date
Damn straight!
I've tried cracking a c&f joke and it wasn't funny on one chic she was like HB6 and i cracked the same joke on a different chic HB8 and the difference was HB6 didn't laugh and said "that's nothing to compare about you know" while HB8 was cracking up saying "really?"
I *think* is the HB6 lower self esteem, that can't take a joke, i even doubted myself "am i really not funny anymore or am i not applying c&f correctly" because i've been hanging with these low self esteem friends (bitc*es really they make my self esteem drop) but figured no i'm actually funny applying same joke on another.
I've tried cracking a c&f joke and it wasn't funny on one chic she was like HB6 and i cracked the same joke on a different chic HB8 and the difference was HB6 didn't laugh and said "that's nothing to compare about you know" while HB8 was cracking up saying "really?"
I *think* is the HB6 lower self esteem, that can't take a joke, i even doubted myself "am i really not funny anymore or am i not applying c&f correctly" because i've been hanging with these low self esteem friends (bitc*es really they make my self esteem drop) but figured no i'm actually funny applying same joke on another.
as for as i know for every 10 girls i do ****y and funny 1 will think i'm really rude and ask the manager to complain lol. i thought it would effect my judgement at first, but when i thought about it. when i'm in that persona. i am in full control on what i want to say and don't feel that i need to say sorry that you can't take a joke. some girls need to lighten up. from my impression when a majority of guys approach the girl, the guy would always leave a nice impression as being very polite and just kissing ass, unlike me i would approach with being c&f and just really having a good time for myself. if they can't warm up and take a joke, then that's their problem.
Joe The Homophobe
Master Don Juan
Maybe you should keep your DJ ways out of your workplace? you could get fired.
Im not saying that you should be kissing peoples butts and acting weak around the girls there, but you shouldn't be teasing anyone because it could get you in trouble. When im at work I don't get too friendly or too involved with nobody. I just go there to do my job and don't talk much to anyone.
workplace is not the place to try and perfect the ways of the DJ.
Im not saying that you should be kissing peoples butts and acting weak around the girls there, but you shouldn't be teasing anyone because it could get you in trouble. When im at work I don't get too friendly or too involved with nobody. I just go there to do my job and don't talk much to anyone.
workplace is not the place to try and perfect the ways of the DJ.
yeah i know but don't worry i'm like the mgr there anyway lol. even my boss is worst to the customers than me. i'm not worried about the complaints. i just want to get the understanding relation why some woman can get really offended with ****y & funny while others love to play along, in a general statement. thx for all ur posts btw!
Donald Kaufman
Don Juan
A few thoughts ...
Part of many an AW's repetoire is the complaint. Gets everybody focused on them the way the world is supposed to be.
Sometimes C+F can be hurtful. You might not know it in most PU situations because you walk away and she has no recourse. The theory is the more F you are the more C you can afford to be. If you hit 3 people in a row that are realy into the F your C can be adjusted a little high when you hit someone that takes it the wrong way.
Being fired is not the only reason to tone down C+F in the workplace.
Bosses also always think they are being charming, no matter how coarse they are, and may not think they are guilty of what they reprimand you for.
Part of many an AW's repetoire is the complaint. Gets everybody focused on them the way the world is supposed to be.
Sometimes C+F can be hurtful. You might not know it in most PU situations because you walk away and she has no recourse. The theory is the more F you are the more C you can afford to be. If you hit 3 people in a row that are realy into the F your C can be adjusted a little high when you hit someone that takes it the wrong way.
Being fired is not the only reason to tone down C+F in the workplace.
Bosses also always think they are being charming, no matter how coarse they are, and may not think they are guilty of what they reprimand you for.
I wouldn't say you're being a real jerk. Sometimes I think that to myself, and have to adjust.
I wouldn't necessarily agree with the hotter the woman is, the better she responds. It's a bit about their confidence level. For example, I know a girl whose confidence level isn't the greatest, even though she's about an 8. I have to be "nicer" to her to get her to respond... usually I'll do this by cracking a joke on her, getting her to make that "OMG! PJ, I can't believe you just said that!" face, then I'll crack a joke about myself, which usually gets her laughing hysterically. Another girl I know, she's a 7, and her confidence level is very very high. I called her up today (after a bit of phone tag, her calling me, me not answering, calling her back, her not answering, her calling me back, etc.), and she immediately answers the phone "HEY! What's up punk ass!? *laugh*" I don't have to resort to picking on myself with her to get her to laugh.
So are you being a jerk? No, you're being yourself. But the tip I have to give goes like this: If she seems to become intimidated and bothered by your comments, simply throw in a comment to bring yourself down to her level (in HER eyes.) She'll lose the feelings of intimidation almost immediately. If she responds negatively, and throws the comment right back at you as a means to get back, then ditch her, because she's a bytch anyways, and just looking for someone to boost her ego.
As for being in the work place, it's usually a more "professional" atmosphere. A lot of the ****y and funny routines will get you in trouble. Basically, get to know your customers before you start acting like a goof ball.
I wouldn't necessarily agree with the hotter the woman is, the better she responds. It's a bit about their confidence level. For example, I know a girl whose confidence level isn't the greatest, even though she's about an 8. I have to be "nicer" to her to get her to respond... usually I'll do this by cracking a joke on her, getting her to make that "OMG! PJ, I can't believe you just said that!" face, then I'll crack a joke about myself, which usually gets her laughing hysterically. Another girl I know, she's a 7, and her confidence level is very very high. I called her up today (after a bit of phone tag, her calling me, me not answering, calling her back, her not answering, her calling me back, etc.), and she immediately answers the phone "HEY! What's up punk ass!? *laugh*" I don't have to resort to picking on myself with her to get her to laugh.
So are you being a jerk? No, you're being yourself. But the tip I have to give goes like this: If she seems to become intimidated and bothered by your comments, simply throw in a comment to bring yourself down to her level (in HER eyes.) She'll lose the feelings of intimidation almost immediately. If she responds negatively, and throws the comment right back at you as a means to get back, then ditch her, because she's a bytch anyways, and just looking for someone to boost her ego.
As for being in the work place, it's usually a more "professional" atmosphere. A lot of the ****y and funny routines will get you in trouble. Basically, get to know your customers before you start acting like a goof ball.
You just gotta realize that everyone has different bounderies and thresholds for what they consider offensive.
So yeah, you were being a jerk to those few people, or atleast that is what they percieve.
That sucks I know, alot of people think I am a prick too, but its not in a professional environment usually, so I say **** it.
But with you, being that it is your place of work, you ought to be more careful, atleast while at work. Maybe work your way up to the raunchy stuff (or whatever it is thats pissin people off)
So yeah, you were being a jerk to those few people, or atleast that is what they percieve.
That sucks I know, alot of people think I am a prick too, but its not in a professional environment usually, so I say **** it.
But with you, being that it is your place of work, you ought to be more careful, atleast while at work. Maybe work your way up to the raunchy stuff (or whatever it is thats pissin people off)
rgeere
Master Don Juan
Women who are use to being rejected on some level who have a harder time finding humor in c&f than those that arn't because they have a harder time not taking things seriously ...
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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Dude, give it a rest in the workplace.
Unless you sense she's opening you. Then keep it mild. When you're on someone else's time is not the time to be perfecting your "C&F". Be confident, not ****y.
Unless you sense she's opening you. Then keep it mild. When you're on someone else's time is not the time to be perfecting your "C&F". Be confident, not ****y.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
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GIVE US AN EXAMPLE!
How can we comment on what's rude if you don't give us examples of what you say. What you say and how you say it affects what is rude or not.
How can we comment on what's rude if you don't give us examples of what you say. What you say and how you say it affects what is rude or not.
MrCode
Senior Don Juan
I've been having this experience lately a bit too. In most cases I can tell when a girl can't take too much teasing and I either ignore her or be fairly nice, but in some cases I make the wrong call.
The most recent case was on Friday when I had a little social event with some coworkers. My manager's wife is a cute little South African girl and I had talked to her and teased her a bit before, so I thought she was cool. But it seems I went too far because she acted offended and started trying to bring me down by asking if I had a girlfriend and therefore implying I wasn't good with women. Of course I think part of the undertone is she is attracted to me (but of course can't do anything about it), and she is surprised I'm single.
I chose not to inform her of how single women usually respond to me but did tell her I do not want a girlfriend now (which is true, I'm playing the field.)
Another factor here were some other married guys in the conversation that were taking her side and kissing her ass while saying I was being rude. They were fairly cool guys but seem to be pretty p*ssy-whipped.
Anyhow, I think it is just the nature of C&F and teasing that some people will get offended. Maybe I'm being an ass but even if they do get pissed off I never back down. Because backing down is the old AFC way to do things, in my opinion.
So I think you are fine man. Most of the time you won't see these people again, and even if you do (like in my case), you can just re-frame things and mess them up a bit by being real nice. At that point they won't remember too much how they were offended before.
The most recent case was on Friday when I had a little social event with some coworkers. My manager's wife is a cute little South African girl and I had talked to her and teased her a bit before, so I thought she was cool. But it seems I went too far because she acted offended and started trying to bring me down by asking if I had a girlfriend and therefore implying I wasn't good with women. Of course I think part of the undertone is she is attracted to me (but of course can't do anything about it), and she is surprised I'm single.
I chose not to inform her of how single women usually respond to me but did tell her I do not want a girlfriend now (which is true, I'm playing the field.)
Another factor here were some other married guys in the conversation that were taking her side and kissing her ass while saying I was being rude. They were fairly cool guys but seem to be pretty p*ssy-whipped.
Anyhow, I think it is just the nature of C&F and teasing that some people will get offended. Maybe I'm being an ass but even if they do get pissed off I never back down. Because backing down is the old AFC way to do things, in my opinion.
So I think you are fine man. Most of the time you won't see these people again, and even if you do (like in my case), you can just re-frame things and mess them up a bit by being real nice. At that point they won't remember too much how they were offended before.