Am I allowed to have my cake and eat it too? Cheating...

[Reyaj]

Short story...

i want a relationship with someone who will be faithful to me but I want to be able to hook up with other girls (without her knowing) at times.

I notice I get into relationships where I am satisfied at first but after the while feel the need to tap new pvssy. However this is just a sexual/mental desire and I still want to be with the person I am with in a relationship.

Am I abnormal?

If so how do I fix this issue?

Do I have a right to do this? i basically got away with this for 4 years with my last relationship before I decided to end it.

 

[dustmuffin]

Give loyalty to get it....give deceit and you shall receive it.....doesn't always work but hel l that's what I live by...do what's best for you.

 

[Alvafe]

To expect something from others and not give it in return is fundamentally wrong in my opinion. It doesn't mean that you're allowed or disallowed. You're free to do whatever you want. I don't expect to be faithful, so I could care less who my plates are f****** around with.

only on this case he is saying he is in a LTR not a plate

serious I don't ahve a GF because would be a waste of time and money, plus no woman did show to me she deserve such reward, so I stay single, do whatever I want and don't have to give anyone satifaction of anything I do.

I find cheating wrong, mostly because it says you can't be trusted you give the person your word and you did show it have no value, so you are not a person of value and then I have nothing to do with you, time too short to waste it with cheap people

in other case you could per see try to find a woman who like when her man go out with other woman or even be in a open relationship, as long you put the ground rules all is fair

 

[Slickster]

When you feel the need to tap new pvssy just break up and save everyone involved the drama.

 

[LiveFreeX]

You are just bored with life. Videogames,travel, paintball guns and magic cards, very therapeutic. Girls are NOT the be-all end-all of the universe... Once you find a girl actually worth keeping, you are going to actively try and turn that portion of your brain off. Its like the HULK trying not to smash, its difficult but it can be done. And when you do, you'll have so much energy to spend on things that actually matter to you.

Honestly, now that I don't pursue women, I've more than tripled my income, enjoy my hobby/friend time more and have a better relationship with god and my wife.

 

[Colossus]

Short story...

i want a relationship with someone who will be faithful to me but I want to be able to hook up with other girls (without her knowing) at times.

I notice I get into relationships where I am satisfied at first but after the while feel the need to tap new pvssy. However this is just a sexual/mental desire and I still want to be with the person I am with in a relationship.

Am I abnormal?

If so how do I fix this issue?

Do I have a right to do this? i basically got away with this for 4 years with my last relationship before I decided to end it.

"Rights" having nothing to do with it. If you want to get into "rights", then she has just as much right as you to cavort with other men. You cant have it both ways.

The DESIRE to have other women is normal, but you have to find some way to temper that. Men love novelty, you just cant always be fanning the flames with this idea that any other ***** is going to be that much better. It aint.

 

[Bible_Belt]

All you have to do is date a bi girl. Then you and her can go get new pvssy together.

 

[Huffman]

You can do all that, but why deceive her? You are afraid that you can't get it otherwise, or you are afraid that she might f*ck another guy.

What you want is motivated by fear.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

Hypocritical at its core

There's worse personality traits than hypocrisy, but if you're going to do this don't screw up your innocent GF. That also means not offloading any guilt you may want to get rid of. You have to keep everything to yourself.

I don't want to make a judgement because that can bite one in the ass. However there's nothing worse than someone running a cheat sheet, then whining to the innocent party about their guilt.

 

[Reykhel]

This type of lying and cheating behaviour creates feminists and other terrible types of women.

TRP says no, don't do that.

You openly spin plates non-exclusively

Or

Exclusive LTR

 

[Reyaj]

To expect something from others and not give it in return is fundamentally wrong in my opinion. It doesn't mean that you're allowed or disallowed. You're free to do whatever you want. I don't expect to be faithful, so I could care less who my plates are f****** around with.

I agree. However from my experience with women those of good quality will not agree to an open relationship. Besides why would I want some skank who is out getting plowed by other guys?

Hypocritical at its core

Yes taken at the surface going by what Espi said "To expect something from others and not give it in return is fundamentally wrong..."

However this whole premise is based on men and women being designed the same. I believe that we are not. I believe its more in a man's nature to desire other women sexually where as its more of a woman's nature to be submissive and sexually loyal. Obviously I know this isn't always the case.

Give loyalty to get it....give deceit and you shall receive it.....doesn't always work but hel l that's what I live by...do what's best for you.

Same as what I said above....

only on this case he is saying he is in a LTR not a plate

serious I don't ahve a GF because would be a waste of time and money, plus no woman did show to me she deserve such reward, so I stay single, do whatever I want and don't have to give anyone satifaction of anything I do.

I find cheating wrong, mostly because it says you can't be trusted you give the person your word and you did show it have no value, so you are not a person of value and then I have nothing to do with you, time too short to waste it with cheap people

in other case you could per see try to find a woman who like when her man go out with other woman or even be in a open relationship, as long you put the ground rules all is fair

I have found most quality women wouldn't want an open relationship and as I said in my first point I do not want a girl that is hooking up with multiple people. Hence my original post of wanting my cake and eating it to.

You are just bored with life. Videogames,travel, paintball guns and magic cards, very therapeutic. Girls are NOT the be-all end-all of the universe... Once you find a girl actually worth keeping, you are going to actively try and turn that portion of your brain off. Its like the HULK trying not to smash, its difficult but it can be done. And when you do, you'll have so much energy to spend on things that actually matter to you.

Honestly, now that I don't pursue women, I've more than tripled my income, enjoy my hobby/friend time more and have a better relationship with god and my wife.

I think what you wrote here is gold.... I actually have found a woman that I am happy with... however after about 3 months of mind blowing sex I couldn't help but curious to sample some different pvssy. I think I also want to stay sharp in the game and not develop oneitis... How can this be done though if you put all your energy in 1 woman?

"Rights" having nothing to do with it. If you want to get into "rights", then she has just as much right as you to cavort with other men. You cant have it both ways.

The DESIRE to have other women is normal, but you have to find some way to temper that. Men love novelty, you just cant always be fanning the flames with this idea that any other ***** is going to be that much better. It aint.

Again I believe men and women are fundamentally designed differently and society is what interferes here... Back in ancient times it was quite common to have a wife and then sub girls on the side and it was accepted. I do agree though that I can't become obsessed with it as I sometimes get.

You can do all that, but why deceive her? You are afraid that you can't get it otherwise, or you are afraid that she might f*ck another guy.

What you want is motivated by fear.

Yes I want a girl just for me and I want to bang some other poon on the side once in a while.... Really is this concept that foreign and bad

There's worse personality traits than hypocrisy, but if you're going to do this don't screw up your innocent GF. That also means not offloading any guilt you may want to get rid of. You have to keep everything to yourself.

I don't want to make a judgement because that can bite one in the ass. However there's nothing worse than someone running a cheat sheet, then whining to the innocent party about their guilt.

I agree... its society and moralists who try to make me feel guilty. With this new girl I have actually been because she has done nothing to really deserve it. However if I am just fulfilling some mental/fetish need once in a while.... why should I feel bad? If a man takes care of his woman he's allowed to have some extracurricular activities once in a while...

This type of lying and cheating behaviour creates feminists and other terrible types of women.

TRP says no, don't do that.

You openly spin plates non-exclusively

Or

Exclusive LTR

Most quality women aren't for an open relationship and I certainly don't want my ltr to hook up with anyone else.

 

[hithard]

Having a mistress is a "thing" in many countries. So is having a second wife.
I'm not going to advocate for cheating, people get real hurt. And it scars a lot of people for life.
But it happens a lot. I know guys and girls that do it without a second thought. Well until they get caught.
I've done it in the past and it adds that extra edge to the sex. ****s the relationship though whether you get caught or not imo.
It's a low quality thing to strive for though. But it's totally up to you.

 

[Reyaj]

Uhhh dated anyone this century?

I've dated a ton and I do believe this at its core of gender roles. Here's the complete sentence and paragraph I posted.

"However this whole premise is based on men and women being designed the same. I believe that we are not. I believe its more in a man's nature to desire other women sexually where as its more of a woman's nature to be submissive and sexually loyal. Obviously I know this isn't always the case."

Taking those few words out of all that to quote though... I'd imagine you're in politics? lol

Having a mistress is a "thing" in many countries. So is having a second wife.
I'm not going to advocate for cheating, people get real hurt. And it scars a lot of people for life.
But it happens a lot. I know guys and girls that do it without a second thought. Well until they get caught.
I've done it in the past and it adds that extra edge to the sex. ****s the relationship though whether you get caught or not imo.
It's a low quality thing to strive for though. But it's totally up to you.

I agree with this. However society is what makes this taboo, at least western media/religion etc... The worst thing is to hurt someone. You should do whatever you can to prevent this from happening. So basically keep it on the DL and cover your tracks. Again my feeling is having your LTR and then a few flings here and there when you feel the need. It should never compromise your relationship.

All this being said I have to admit for the first time I have felt a little guilt so I may be open to reassesing my feelings on this. Hence the impetus for me posting. I'll need to have clear counter arguments though so that it actually makes sense. Not the same dogma like "oh you're a hypocrite" "you shouldn't ask someone to do something you won't do" "that's a low value move" etc...

So far LiveFreeX has had the bet counter to this behavior cause it logically makes sense in enhancing someone's life.

 

[hithard]

It's frowned upon in western countries but there are still sites like Ashley Maddison.

The relationships where I had cheated I found it having a negative impact on the dynamics:
I was a lot more emotionally detached.

They sensed something was wrong.

Changed the feeling during sex.

Changed the way I looked at my partner.

Perhaps for me, I devalued the relationship in my mind. I didn't invest much more into those partners and let the relationship end.

Interested if you caught any of these symptoms or if it's just my hangup?

Livefreex is right. But if you train yourself to cheat constantly, I don't see you stopping for anyone.
I get dead bored of ltrs after 2 years. I'm just not suited at the moment for that lifestyle. So I don't get into them.

Also you shouldn't be forced into something out of guilt.

 

[parkthebus]

Have you thought about trying to find a girl that will stay loyal and accept you ****ing other women? Unlikely but you could try. Begin as a plate and when she asks for exclusivity give her your offer. I think you want puzzy more than a ltr.

And you should do whatever you find morally acceptable. It's AFC to base your morals in other peoples opinions. Listen to their reasoning by all means but don't be a sheep. Personally, I look at my actions and experiences in life as either positive or negative to keep it simple. Cheating is most likely a negative and I don't see it adding to your happiness other than a short term fix. It will probably end messy.

 

[Killakittie]

Short story...

i want a relationship with someone who will be faithful to me but I want to be able to hook up with other girls (without her knowing) at times.

I notice I get into relationships where I am satisfied at first but after the while feel the need to tap new pvssy. However this is just a sexual/mental desire and I still want to be with the person I am with in a relationship.

Am I abnormal?

If so how do I fix this issue?

Do I have a right to do this? i basically got away with this for 4 years with my last relationship before I decided to end it.

I'll answer you're question and say no you are not abnormal. I dated a girl for two years during which we both seen other people and we both talked about our experiences openly. You can not be a possessive or jealous person though or it won't work out. One thing i like about it is we would both make video's and we would watch them together before hooking up and it was a great turn on.

Now the fact that you want her to be faithful to you while you want to hide your affairs from her is wrong morally. That is deception and a relationship can not function with deception going on, sounds like you need some emotional security in the form of a gf but you want to still act like your single. You can't have both man, you can have an open relationship or you can be single but unless your ok with other dudes boning her i don't see it working.

 

[Huffman]

That's the difference. I guess you can still call yourself "integer" if you make lying your policy and are proud of it. Personally, I don't like doing it and I don't like people who do it.

But to answer the original question: yes, you might get away with it, i.e. have your cake and eat it too. It may work for you if you don't feel bad about it.
I sure as hell wouldn't associate with a guy like you.

 

[C-quenced]

The concepts of "cheating" and monogamy are some of the biggest deceptions ever sold to men. These hoes give the illusion of faithfulness (at least to YOUR knowledge she's not feral) but rest assured that one day she will terminate the relationship as if it meant nothing. When this happens and you're swimming through that shipwreck that she left you behind in and some debris from the past floats by reminding you of the missed opportunities you had, at this point the emotional and mental trauma will be greatly amplified. You'll feel robbed of YOUR right to experience because of baseless morals set forth by other members of society (men and women) who don't give a flying fvck if you were to disappear tomorrow yet expect you to live YOUR life by THEIR moral boundaries. And for what? For a relationship with some fvcking stray that ultimately meant NOTHING?! Women are all hypergamous so this whole loyalty business is just hogwash.

Also, there's no contract here. If there's no ring on her finger then it's NOT cheating. You don't owe her sh!t.

To answer your questions though: No you're not abnormal and there's nothing for you to fix. You're a guy and those impulses are part of your natural programming. The only way to get the 9.5 or 10 and have her (or them) be "loyal" to you is to be incredibly rich, charismatic, decent looking, charming and having the gift of gab to the point that these hoes know it'll be the biggest fvck up of their miserable existence to get on your bad side because losing you will be a catastrophic hit for them. At that point they'll be more than willing to share you, agree on exclusivity (only you having access to their bodies) and you won't even have anything to hide.

Quit restricting yourself to the moral boundaries set upon by others. It's a mental ball and chain. The real questions you should be asking yourself are: what do you have to do to reach that level of success and are you willing to do whatever it takes? There's no hypocrisy in being honest with yourself on what you want out of life. You came out and openly stated what you want. The desires you speak of are harmless but VERY FEW men are able to realistically live it out. What I'm telling you is about as real as it gets and I wish you luck on obtaining it.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

The concepts of "cheating" and monogamy are some of the biggest deceptions ever sold to men. These hoes give the illusion of faithfulness (at least to YOUR knowledge she's not feral) but rest assured that one day she will terminate the relationship as if it meant nothing. When this happens and you're swimming through that shipwreck that she left you behind in and some debris from the past floats by reminding you of the missed opportunities you had, at this point the emotional and mental trauma will be greatly amplified. You'll feel robbed of YOUR right to experience because of baseless morals set forth by other members of society (men and women) who don't give a flying fvck if you were to disappear tomorrow yet expect you to live YOUR life by THEIR moral boundaries. And for what? For a relationship with some fvcking stray that ultimately meant NOTHING?! Women are all hypergamous so this whole loyalty business is just hogwash.

Also, there's no contract here. If there's no ring on her finger then it's NOT cheating. You don't owe her sh!t.

To answer your questions though: No you're not abnormal and there's nothing for you to fix. You're a guy and those impulses are part of your natural programming. The only way to get the 9.5 or 10 and have her (or them) be "loyal" to you is to be incredibly rich, charismatic, decent looking, charming and having the gift of gab to the point that these hoes know it'll be the biggest fvck up of their miserable existence to get on your bad side because losing you will be a catastrophic hit for them. At that point they'll be more than willing to share you, agree on exclusivity (only you having access to their bodies) and you won't even have anything to hide.

Quit restricting yourself to the moral boundaries set upon by others. It's a mental ball and chain. The real questions you should be asking yourself are: what do you have to do to reach that level of success and are you willing to do whatever it takes? There's no hypocrisy in being honest with yourself on what you want out of life. You came out and openly stated what you want. The desires you speak of are harmless but VERY FEW men are able to realistically live it out. What I'm telling you is about as real as it gets and I wish you luck on obtaining it.

I tried to 'like' this post more than once, but forum wouldn't let me. So I'll post this instead. Monogamy IS a retarded and outdated bunch of BS. There's scores of literature about this, but as a Man, I believe it is completely natural and n o r m a l to want and actually, fvck more than one woman. To want to constantly bang several women. It's natural dammit and I'm not fvking changing my mind!

 

[LiveFreeX]

This is a concept that has been taught to you by modern women. Monogamy is not outdated, men have just become too weak to enforce it.