Am I afraid of.... success with women?

[flyingpanda505]

I think I'm afraid of success. I'm 6'4, smart, good looking, I've got a deep voice, and I've got everything going on for me, but I can't land women. Wait, let me rephrase that, I can't land women that I want. A lot of girls like me and a lot of girls want me, but I had my sights set on only the best looking girls at my high school (I was a senior) and I was picky. But all of the hot girls I screwed this up with by being nervous around them. Its like you could name a hot girl in my school and at one point in time we had a mutual thing but it never really went anywhere. Eventually I got my wish around February and went out with one of the hottest girls in my grade for valentines day and although it was really fun unfortunately nothing really came of it.

I think I'm worried about getting to be intimate and vulnerable with women. When I'm talking to any kind of girl without a relationship in mind, I'm fine, but when in the back of my mind I'm wondering if I should kiss her, etc. then I get nervous and I shy away from escalating it. Its like I've been pursuing this goal of getting with one of the hottest girls at my high school since freshman year and four years later its like I'm afraid what will happen if I do. How will I preform? I'm afraid to get intimate with her. Will I embarrass myself? What if I succeed with my goal and then what?

It's like I'm comfortable with rejection even though I hate it.

Also, how much is too much eye contact? Or is there such a thing? Thats another one of the things I find myself doing with hot girls - having extended eye contact and just being so focused on the outcome.

 

[Maxtro]

flyingpanda505 = Brighty?
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=159493

I'm tall (6'4), I have a deep voice (I've gotten more compliments on it than I can remember), I'm good looking

I'm 6'4, smart, good looking, I've got a deep voice, and I've got everything going on for me

Trolling?

 

[djinhell]

I dont think this is a troll thread at all. (unless im very naive)

The OP brings up some interesting points, and I am interested to read what other DJ's make of these kinds of issues.

 

[SplitRock]

I think I'm worried about getting to be intimate and vulnerable with women.

Have you ever been "intimate and vulnerable" with a chick? If not, then it's no wonder you're worried about it. Give it a try sometime--it'll be far better and far worse than you ever imagined.

Will I embarrass myself?

Yes, you will. But that's OK because it's one of OUR sh!t tests--if she's a quality girl, she'll never mention it to anyone, and she'll never bring it up with you. Ever.

What if I succeed with my goal and then what?

You roll over and go to sleep.

NO! WAIT!

You cuddle with her and engage in "pillow talk" for 15 to 20 minutes, THEN roll over and go to sleep. (What's pillow talk? Just follow her lead.)

Also, how much is too much eye contact?

When one is talking with a regular friend, one holds eye contact for about 40% of the time while they are talking, and about 60% of the time while their friend is talking. When one is talking to a potential lover, one holds eye contact about 75% of the time either is talking. Any more than that and it becomes uncomfortable for the other person.