Am I a friend to her or is she interested?

dum dum

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Been out with this girl 3 times, two of those were to get drinks. I'll admit that I'm not good with kino, so any advice on ways to initiate that next time we go out would be appreciated.

She's just out of a 4 year LTR and she was raised country as she puts it, so really conservative (talked about how she went to Vegas and hated it because of the whole culture there especially making women just objects).

When we hug goodbye she is quick about it and I get the feeling she doesn't want a kiss goodbye from how she kinda turns her head away. She might not be ready for that yet, I don't know.

I know I have to escalate to find out but at the same time if she is interested but just doesn't want to rush into anything I don't want to push it and make her feel uncomfortable.

She does have a few guy friends that she's known for a long time, so that's another thing that makes me wonder if I am just a friend or what.

So probably the best way to figure it out will be more kino. I work with one of her girl friends and am thinking about asking her tomorrow what the girl has told her about me/how she sees us.
 

Dingo

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If you're going out often and buying her drinks but not "doing her"..... you're just a friend...

Make a move.... REJECTION IS BETTER THAN REGRETS.
 

Billtx49

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If she was genuinely attracted you would have a kiss by now, so kiss her goodbye. After 3 dates she should have made that move herself if you couldn't, given the right opportunity.
 
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Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Poon King

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So easy but when we are saying goodbye she's just so quick about it, hug and she's gone lol
Stop analyzing and start taking action.

Make a move. Sh!t or get off the pot. Stop being a coward.

Too many men waste their own time trying to "guess" where they stand because they're too chickensh!t to risk rejection. Guess what? If you want to be successful with women you will have to risk rejection and risk it often. The earlier the better.
 

dum dum

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Three dates is a long time without trying to sexualize things. That is your fault. Time to bite the bullet and improve.
Thanks for all the great info deesade. Spot on. If I go out with her again I will try to make you proud haha
 

marmel75

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Been out with this girl 3 times, two of those were to get drinks. I'll admit that I'm not good with kino, so any advice on ways to initiate that next time we go out would be appreciated.

She's just out of a 4 year LTR and she was raised country as she puts it, so really conservative (talked about how she went to Vegas and hated it because of the whole culture there especially making women just objects).

When we hug goodbye she is quick about it and I get the feeling she doesn't want a kiss goodbye from how she kinda turns her head away. She might not be ready for that yet, I don't know.

I know I have to escalate to find out but at the same time if she is interested but just doesn't want to rush into anything I don't want to push it and make her feel uncomfortable.

She does have a few guy friends that she's known for a long time, so that's another thing that makes me wonder if I am just a friend or what.

So probably the best way to figure it out will be more kino. I work with one of her girl friends and am thinking about asking her tomorrow what the girl has told her about me/how she sees us.
OK, let me get this straight.

You've been out with the girl 3 times, haven't done anything, and you wonder if she sees you as more than a friend?

Hell no. She sees you as her gay friend.
You seem pretty naive about women, so I will let you in on a little secret.

There is NO SUCH THING AS "NOT BEING READY". There is ONLY "NOT BEING READY" FOR YOU!!!!
Women fvck guys all the time after breaking up with their boyfriends. Hell sometimes its while he is still her boyfriend. This whole "Oh, I'm not ready" nonsense is what you hear when the woman isn't interested in YOU, but for a guy she is interested in, she will most definitely be ready and willing to suck and fvck him within a pretty short time...definitely within 3 dates.

You have been watching too many Hollywood movies. This is real life, women don't respond at all to guys who are too afraid to make a move. They view that as weak, lacking confidence and unattractive.
DO NOT ask the other girl about her...that will make you look worse than you've already made yourself look with her in person.
My advice would be to escalate when you are with her next time, but since you admit you aren't good with it, don't do it because it will come off as weird and awkward.

I'd advise you to read the DJ Bible and then re-read a second time. Go find other women who are interested in you. Hang out with this girl if you must, but I feel you are simply wasting your time. If anything is going to work I'd advise openly hitting on women in front of her, that might get the jealousy thing working, but I wouldn't get your hopes up.
 

dum dum

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My advice would be to escalate when you are with her next time, but since you admit you aren't good with it, don't do it because it will come off as weird and awkward.
Sh1t now I have no idea what to do lol
 

Trump

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Been out with this girl 3 times, two of those were to get drinks. I'll admit that I'm not good with kino, so any advice on ways to initiate that next time we go out would be appreciated.
Just keep going out with her and spend money on her without getting anything in return. Two things will happen. Either you will;

1). Tell her off
2). Get really good at kino

She's just out of a 4 year LTR and she was raised country as she puts it, so really conservative (talked about how she went to Vegas and hated it because of the whole culture there especially making women just objects).
That's what she told you. For all you know it could have been a 1,2,3 or 4 year relationship. You don't know why they broke up either. But whatever the reason, I'm sure she was the victim.

Come on bro. She is very Conservative and she goes to Vegas? What did she think Vegas was, nuns and priests getting together singing koombaya? Either she is playing the victim or lying to you.

When we hug goodbye she is quick about it and I get the feeling she doesn't want a kiss goodbye from how she kinda turns her head away. She might not be ready for that yet, I don't know.

I know I have to escalate to find out but at the same time if she is interested but just doesn't want to rush into anything I don't want to push it and make her feel uncomfortable.
Of course not bro. You don't want to push her if she is uncomfortable. It just may cost you a lot of money and time and respect until she decides she is comfortable. I can see you are a little frustrated that it's the 3rd date and you haven't got anything yet. Now imagine if it was the 8th.

She does have a few guy friends that she's known for a long time, so that's another thing that makes me wonder if I am just a friend or what.

So probably the best way to figure it out will be more kino. I work with one of her girl friends and am thinking about asking her tomorrow what the girl has told her about me/how she sees us.
Bro don't ask the girlfriend unless you are in high school. I'm sure she has not slept or kissed any of these good looking tall handsome rich guy friends she has known for a long time too.

I'm surprised you guys don't lose more money in investments. You believe everything a girl tells you but don't make a move. Brutal.o_O
 

dum dum

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Just keep going out with her and spend money on her without getting anything in return. Two things will happen. Either you will;

1). Tell her off
2). Get really good at kino



That's what she told you. For all you know it could have been a 1,2,3 or 4 year relationship. You don't know why they broke up either. But whatever the reason, I'm sure she was the victim.

Come on bro. She is very Conservative and she goes to Vegas? What did she think Vegas was, nuns and priests getting together singing koombaya? Either she is playing the victim or lying to you.



Of course not bro. You don't want to push her if she is uncomfortable. It just may cost you a lot of money and time and respect until she decides she is comfortable. I can see you are a little frustrated that it's the 3rd date and you haven't got anything yet. Now imagine if it was the 8th.



Bro don't ask the girlfriend unless you are in high school. I'm sure she has not slept or kissed any of these good looking tall handsome rich guy friends she has known for a long time too.

I'm surprised you guys don't lose more money in investments. You believe everything a girl tells you but don't make a move. Brutal.o_O
Last night I paid for two pitchers and she paid for one. The time before that I gave her my card and went to the bathroom, when I came back she had them split the bill. This right here is one thing that makes me think it's more of a friend thing to her.

And the girl that I was going to ask was the one that set her up with her previous bf so I do know they were together for years. The night I met this girl she was still texting him. From what she told me the main reasons they broke up were that he didn't have a car or job and then later it came out that he was talking to a girl in another country behind her back and planned a trip there without her.
 

dum dum

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Read some posts on kino in the dj bible so now I definitely have some ideas to work with if we end up going out again. Going to see how she reacts and go from there
 

Bayne05

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The biggest mistake you can make is keeping yourself wondering where you stand with a woman, she will not figure it out for you infact she'll chuck you in the friendzone real quick if you don't man up.

You must never compromise on escalation, you must start flirting and kino from the first date. If you going too fast she will simply say so.

There is no such thing as waiting for the right moment when it comes to woman, you simply make your move. You still not sure? Then whenever you think of kissing her use the 5-second rule, and go in. Man up!
 

womensview

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You are in the friend zone. If she is texting the old bf she is still into him, but wants him to get his life together. Move on and let her go, unless u just want a friend.
 

JohnChops

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So easy but when we are saying goodbye she's just so quick about it, hug and she's gone lol
why are you making the move at the end of the date? Make the move wherever there is an opportunity, and if there isn't one, make one.
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

PantyWhisperer

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I agree with the whole "not being ready" being an excuse. I know a woman who dumped a guy because she was in nursing school and couldn't focus on or be in a relationship. Two Tinder guys later, she is in love with a man who has a criminal record and has at least 50 hours a week to spend with him, in addition to her school. The first guy was a much higher quality human being, but the prison record guy with his cellblock tattoos makes her hot so she's all in. It's total BS. Women will make time for what they want.
 

resilient

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I agree with the whole "not being ready" being an excuse. Women will make time for what they want.
Well said, PW. Follow their actions, the rest communicated verbally is just hamster spin.
 

PantyWhisperer

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Well said, PW. Follow their actions, the rest communicated verbally is just hamster spin.
They don't even have the decency to tell the truth about it. I'm not ready also can mean that you are being placed on the back burner, in case no one better comes along. A variation on the old "it's not you, it's me" excuse.
 
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