Am I a douche for this?

[Ronaldo7]

In a word, yes.

If you want to be single, play the field and spin plates, then do that; at least have the character to be transparent.

The art of war is based on deception. You clearly know this. The closer you look, the less you'll see.

Your word means nothing.

Jeremiah 17:5. You know how it goes. "Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind."

Once an "amazing" woman finds out you are not trustworthy, she's gone. Really gone. She will have enough self value to walk away & not look back. She will have enough other good options to choose from because really "amazing" women are rare.

Depends. Is one the best player available on the market? Did one manage to demonstrate very good performances? The physical component is far more powerful than the other components. If one makes her feel what she wants to feel during fornication, the rest is meaningless.D

If Girl 2 is also an "amazing" woman, you screwed that up too; you will likely never hear from her again.

He will. Only if he managed to pleasure her correctly during their encounters.

You need to be transparent. If you are going to sleep with and date multiple women then be upfront about that. If you are going to be exclusive then be exclusive.

Where is the thrill in that? He may lose opportunities with said approach. Carpe Diem.

Your problem is that you want the high quality women who aren't willing to settle for being a girl in your rotation, so you think by lying and deceiving these women you can get what you want.

He can.

Granted, it is for the short-term. Also, men & women grow accustomed to the role they are given.

You can get the pleasure you want - short term if you embrace that you are a user of people. If you can be honest with yourself that this is who you are.

There are men here who are like this. They own who they are. They know they are willing to deceive as a means to an end, they place their desires above how their behavior affects the women they are involved with. Is this you?

There is no "we". There is just "I". Every individual is out there combating for his own ambitions & interests. The strong overtakes the weak. The strong's interests prevail over the weak's interests.

Modern society has portrayed the biggest lie. When we are down, we are down on our own. When we are high up, we are high up on our own. "We" is a simple utopia.

When the women find out they know their trust has been betrayed and that you were just using them the whole time & you didn't value their exclusivity or trust in or caring for you it is cruel & devastating. Oh well. So be it if that is who you are. Why do you care?

Men are rational beings. Women are emotional beings. Water vs fire.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

You are here simply to either stroke your ego or show off. You know this was douche behavior. Own it. If you dislike the consequences that you are running off "amazing" women, then quit being a douche. Simple. Be transparent & trustworthy.

But never expect good women to tolerate douche behavior. They won't once they find out. Eventually you'll end up with various crazy makers and then once a seriously crazy woman eviserates you we can read and respond here too.

They do tolerate it. Even after finding out.

It is the wise man who knows when to employ his exit at the most opportune moment.

C'est la vie.

 

[RangerMIke]

You'r not a DB, you are just weak.

Tell both these women you want to see other people and do that. If they say no, let them walk away.

 

[BeExcellent]

@Ronaldo7 yes I understand. Deception has its purposes of course but running a deception over the long term can eventually reach a point of diminishing returns.

Also known as the effort to keep up the rouse is more trouble than the benefits. Presumably this is the ideal jettison point. It can also be tiring and adversely affect one's reputation.

I'm old relative to the young guns here. I'd rather expend less effort and remain transparent (less mental energy expended in extending the deception), and instead keep options open by being non-committal and on a 'need to know' basis only.

As I said there are men here who deceive but who own their behavior (although certainly not to the recipients of the deception.)

OP is either asking a rhetorical question for sport or he is actually remiss about the outcomes his behavior has precipitated. If he is in fact remiss then he has behavioral choices to make going forward but in any case one must understand the potential consequences of his choices and move on from there.

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

They do tolerate it. Even after finding out.

It is the wise man who knows when to employ his exit at the most opportune moment.

C'est la vie.

Yep from 2011-2013 I kept five women in rotation and they all knew about each other, because I told them. Hmm, maybe if I had a kept my mouth shut I'd still have them. But thats just me and how "I" used to be.

Now? I'm more in tune with what brad said that and the fact that most females nowdays aint shhit and are good at covering their tracks.
And lie far more than men ever could. So, I wouldn't worry about it either way, I'm going to pretty much always have more than one woman in my life till the day I die and I've made my peace with that too. Now, that doesnt mean screwing more than one, but I've pretty much have always had backup plans(and when I didnt I got fuccked around) but your mileage may vary, lol!!!

 

[Dealler]

I have been dating this amazing woman for almost a year now. Thing is, I still keep in touch with an ex who I consider a very good friend. The more I hang with this ex the more attracted to her i am. We are setting on the couch one night (the ex and I), we start making out, and I take her to the bedroom. So, I cheated on my gf. I continue to hang with my gf like nothing has happened. I text ex again to come over with the intention of sleeping with her again, of which we do. Current gf still has no idea.

Ex tells me she still has feelings and would like to try things out again. I'm interested but tell ex I have to think about it. I'm still with my gf whom I'm sleeping with and has no idea I'm having these talks with the ex. The ex texts to hang out, we do. I initiate sex again. We sleep together another time at her place after which I leave and come back to my place because my gf is coming over for the night. Oblivious to the fact I just got laid an hour before I saw her.

I finally tell the ex I want to be with her. Ex agrees but is a bit worried about being a rebound. I tell her that won't be an issue. So ex and I are dating and I'm leaving current gf.

Problem is, after I leave my gf (let's call her girl 1) I start to miss her. So much so that i want her back. Her and I meet up and she stays over. We agree to get back together and work things out.

New gf (previous ex, girl 2) comes over the next day and can tell something is wrong. I lie to her about seeing girl 1. I can tell she's suspicious but I keep to the lie. I tell her I don't feel the same now and I want to get back with girl 1. Girl 2 is furious and tells me she never wants to see me again. I haven't heard from her in three months. I feel bad for assuring her of what I wanted and changing my mind about it like that.

So, in all, I cheated on girl 1 about 16 times with this person and she has no idea. She's still blissfully ignorant to it all and loves me even more now. I also ruined a good friendship with girl 2 because of how things went with that.

Am I an a**hole for what I did to them?

Your behaviour made me almost vomit. Disgusting.

 

[Tuttleycool]

Your behaviour made me almost vomit. Disgusting.

How so?

 

[Tuttleycool]

Should she be mad at me for this? What would be a reasonable response for someone in her situation?

 

[Tuttleycool]

Of course she should be mad. Who knows what's reasonable behavior for a woman who has just found out she has been cheated on? Some women will take you back if they are still madly in love with you. Some will go cold turkey and never speak to you again. And some will take you back only so they can hurt you back and make you suffer.

In my experience, good high quality women will not tolerate you "spinning other plates" especially after the first few dates. So you have to keep it on the downlow. If you get caught, you deny, deny, deny. Unless you get caught red handed with your penis in another woman's vagina. In that case you have to let the chips fall where they may.

And what about girl 2? Should she hate me too?

 

[MrWiggles]

There's two bulls standing on top of a mountain. The younger one says to the older one: "Hey pop, let's say we run down there and **** one of them cows". The older one says: "No son. Lets walk down and **** 'em all".

 

[Slash Dolo]

Women do this all the time. Hell, people do this all the time in general, not even gonna be sexist. You let your emotions cloud your judgment. Dude, if you're happy at the end of the day, don't worry about being an "*******." Do what's best for you and what you wanna do.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Yes, you are a douche. You are a piece of dishonest scum who has created 2 more man haters for those of us with any sort of moral development to deal with.
Thanks.

 

[MrWiggles]

Yes, you are a douche. You are a piece of dishonest scum who has created 2 more man haters for those of us with any sort of moral development to deal with.
Thanks.

you sound mad you couldn't do it. What is 2 out of millioins??

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Maybe it is because I have done it and know how much hurt it causes everybody. It is easy to be a liar, and selfish with poor impulse control. It is harder to be honest, and monogamous.

 

[guru1000]

I just robbed a bank. Do you think I'm a bank robber?

Yes, you're a fvcken cheater. You agreed to exclusivity, but didn't.

Solution: Stop cheating or own who are (@BeExcellent). I fvcked over a good amount of women, but I make no apologies nor do I hide who I am. I'm upfront and shameless--and willing to lose.

Stop being a beta boy. Decide who you are and become one with it. Stop looking for others' approval of your character and decisions. Whether your character is righteous or Machiavellian, own it unapologetically.

Most importantly, if you choose not to be straightforward, then be prepared to lose.