A recent discussion with one of my main plates came up and I figure I'd give the forum a little insight into some of the mechanics I interpose in relation to plate spinning, potential exclusivity, and ultimately LTR. First, a little background about me and this particular plate:
1. I am turning 40 later this month, April 22 to be exact.
2. She just turned 27 last month; HB8-9 conservatively.
3. Been a plate going on 6 months, see her once a week and a very rare twice a week depending on situation (ie: birthday; etc)
4. Extremely respectful, submissive, and well behaved thus far
4a. cooks every time we meet (full entrees), makes a list of potential recipes based on things I've never tried before
4b. Taken me on a surprise weekend trip during HER birthday where she paid for every single aspect of the trip (hotel, food, liquor, activities)
4c. Researched the entire trip and based it on things she knows I like to do: good steak house, seafood, whiskey bar, speak easy, etc
4d. Does errands for me (fully designed new business cards; dry cleaned my clothes without my asking; went a few hours out of her way to pick something up for me at a buddy's during her vacation with a girlfriend in another state.
5. Most importantly, she does not push back, I lead everything. If I take her out, all I tell her is what to wear (sexy dress, choker, skirt, workout clothes, hiking clothes, butt-ass naked with just a overcoat, etc), she never knows where we're going or what we're doing, and frankly goes with it and doesn't ask questions.
With that background out of the way, here's how this interaction has flowed. She's brought up the exclusivity talk a few times already and my response has always been, we're getting to know each other, or we're still vetting each other, etc. Fellas, unless the girl is a complete slvt or mutually agreed to FWB and NSA, they will always want a relationship. Granted, this is more the case if they see you as much higher value than themselves. Unless you are completely tired of them and want to cut off the plate, you have to sell the dream that an LTR is something you're working towards even if it's not in the foreseeable future. Unless the woman is on a very strict timeline, they won't care about the "when", they just needs to know that it's not a complete waste of their time. I would caution against women who are on a timeline, namely older women or single mothers. A woman who wants to pressure the pace of the relationship, is not a woman who is fully submissive to the man, or fully in the man's frame.
She brought it up again last night where I explained the following viewpoints about MY different levels of exclusivity; again, these are merely MY subjective definitions and not objectively provided. Regardless, I told her these are mine and I expect any girl I get serious with to accept them.
1. Dating - no exclusivity at all. Both are free to Fvck as desired.
2. Dating but exclusive - I, as the man, will refrain from actively pursuing new Pvssy. However, I can't guarantee that I would turn down Pvssy that's thrown my way or offered without any overt effort needed on my end. However, I expect the woman to be completely exclusive. No discussion of boundaries or deal-breakers yet.
3. LTR (GF/BF) - Not only will I turn down Pvssy, but I will actually tell other girls I have a GF. (granted we all know that doesn't do ****, and may actually make women pursue more, but things like that doesn't need to be thrown in their face during the discussion.) This is where boundaries are explicitly discussed and accepted. None compliance is not tolerated, period.
4. Marriage - I believe in a union under the church, and if I find a special enough girl, then I will give that girl my ultimate exclusiveness; but it will have to take quite a special girl and quite a bit of time through the vetting process; plus I am absolutely fine not getting married ever again.
Obviously she had an issue with #2, why is it a different standard between a man and a woman. Why is it allowable for a man to not guarantee exclusivity, but merely refrain from overtly seeking new Pvssy. I explained my viewpoint that 95% of the time, a man only gets laid if they put in the effort. This is either by sacrificing their time, attention, or money. Whereas a woman will get laid 100% of the time without having to put in any effort; they merely just have to spread their legs and there will always be a guy willing to Fvck. She complained "but you're hot, girls will throw themselves at you," which I merely laughed and stayed quiet. Ultimately, she laughed and agreed to my description of the differences between the dynamics of a man and woman, and accepted. The kicker is, based objectively and solely on looks alone, I am mid-tier at best; I'm 5'9, 185lbs, no beard, no visible tats. I've had many guys come up and ask me how I've gotten her or some of my other plates or expressed extreme shock when they find out a particular plate is mine when they come up and initiate PDA at which point I push them off. I'm pragmatic enough to know I'm not the best looking guy around, but I absolutely have the irrational mind set that I'm the best that particular plate can do and it's her loss otherwise. Doesn't matter to me how irrational that may actually be.
I intentionally made the distinction between #2 and #3; this is to ensure the woman has something to strive for. Guys, women must be sold the dream: that if they continue to be submissive, if they continue to please me, if they continue to be compliant with my demands; then one day, I MAY just give up my bachelorhood and give them that ultimate fantasy of the white picket fence and rug munchers. Anything less than complete compliance with my boundaries or my respect, is unacceptable and won't be tolerated.
1. I am turning 40 later this month, April 22 to be exact.
2. She just turned 27 last month; HB8-9 conservatively.
3. Been a plate going on 6 months, see her once a week and a very rare twice a week depending on situation (ie: birthday; etc)
4. Extremely respectful, submissive, and well behaved thus far
4a. cooks every time we meet (full entrees), makes a list of potential recipes based on things I've never tried before
4b. Taken me on a surprise weekend trip during HER birthday where she paid for every single aspect of the trip (hotel, food, liquor, activities)
4c. Researched the entire trip and based it on things she knows I like to do: good steak house, seafood, whiskey bar, speak easy, etc
4d. Does errands for me (fully designed new business cards; dry cleaned my clothes without my asking; went a few hours out of her way to pick something up for me at a buddy's during her vacation with a girlfriend in another state.
5. Most importantly, she does not push back, I lead everything. If I take her out, all I tell her is what to wear (sexy dress, choker, skirt, workout clothes, hiking clothes, butt-ass naked with just a overcoat, etc), she never knows where we're going or what we're doing, and frankly goes with it and doesn't ask questions.
With that background out of the way, here's how this interaction has flowed. She's brought up the exclusivity talk a few times already and my response has always been, we're getting to know each other, or we're still vetting each other, etc. Fellas, unless the girl is a complete slvt or mutually agreed to FWB and NSA, they will always want a relationship. Granted, this is more the case if they see you as much higher value than themselves. Unless you are completely tired of them and want to cut off the plate, you have to sell the dream that an LTR is something you're working towards even if it's not in the foreseeable future. Unless the woman is on a very strict timeline, they won't care about the "when", they just needs to know that it's not a complete waste of their time. I would caution against women who are on a timeline, namely older women or single mothers. A woman who wants to pressure the pace of the relationship, is not a woman who is fully submissive to the man, or fully in the man's frame.
She brought it up again last night where I explained the following viewpoints about MY different levels of exclusivity; again, these are merely MY subjective definitions and not objectively provided. Regardless, I told her these are mine and I expect any girl I get serious with to accept them.
1. Dating - no exclusivity at all. Both are free to Fvck as desired.
2. Dating but exclusive - I, as the man, will refrain from actively pursuing new Pvssy. However, I can't guarantee that I would turn down Pvssy that's thrown my way or offered without any overt effort needed on my end. However, I expect the woman to be completely exclusive. No discussion of boundaries or deal-breakers yet.
3. LTR (GF/BF) - Not only will I turn down Pvssy, but I will actually tell other girls I have a GF. (granted we all know that doesn't do ****, and may actually make women pursue more, but things like that doesn't need to be thrown in their face during the discussion.) This is where boundaries are explicitly discussed and accepted. None compliance is not tolerated, period.
4. Marriage - I believe in a union under the church, and if I find a special enough girl, then I will give that girl my ultimate exclusiveness; but it will have to take quite a special girl and quite a bit of time through the vetting process; plus I am absolutely fine not getting married ever again.
Obviously she had an issue with #2, why is it a different standard between a man and a woman. Why is it allowable for a man to not guarantee exclusivity, but merely refrain from overtly seeking new Pvssy. I explained my viewpoint that 95% of the time, a man only gets laid if they put in the effort. This is either by sacrificing their time, attention, or money. Whereas a woman will get laid 100% of the time without having to put in any effort; they merely just have to spread their legs and there will always be a guy willing to Fvck. She complained "but you're hot, girls will throw themselves at you," which I merely laughed and stayed quiet. Ultimately, she laughed and agreed to my description of the differences between the dynamics of a man and woman, and accepted. The kicker is, based objectively and solely on looks alone, I am mid-tier at best; I'm 5'9, 185lbs, no beard, no visible tats. I've had many guys come up and ask me how I've gotten her or some of my other plates or expressed extreme shock when they find out a particular plate is mine when they come up and initiate PDA at which point I push them off. I'm pragmatic enough to know I'm not the best looking guy around, but I absolutely have the irrational mind set that I'm the best that particular plate can do and it's her loss otherwise. Doesn't matter to me how irrational that may actually be.
I intentionally made the distinction between #2 and #3; this is to ensure the woman has something to strive for. Guys, women must be sold the dream: that if they continue to be submissive, if they continue to please me, if they continue to be compliant with my demands; then one day, I MAY just give up my bachelorhood and give them that ultimate fantasy of the white picket fence and rug munchers. Anything less than complete compliance with my boundaries or my respect, is unacceptable and won't be tolerated.
