Alright guys, I need some input

[The_411]

I don't want to be a negative nelly, but I do see some troubling things here and I'm going to lay them out so that you can see why things went south.

The biggest issue is that she pulled a walkaway on you. She was leaving and escalating. Then you instigate after two weeks of nothing from her when she returns.

It's good that you reset frame, but all of this seems like a question for how long.

Not to mention that it seems like you keep having to call her out for bullchit.

My guess is that she's only going to stick around until a guy shows up who has no problem walking away.

 

[zinc4]

The problem here is the OP's IL for a variety of reasons is a good bit lower than her IL...that is all that really needs to be said...

 

[Kailex]

OP, why do you feel the need to explain so much to her? It's like by trying to NOT label the relationship... you are.

You told her that you want her to just be your dirty little B, but that you want to meet her friends and family? That really makes no sense.

All you are doing is teaching this girl how to make it seem like someone else is in control when really, she is.

I really think you need to keep a lot of those emotions in check.

 

[d!ckmojo]

Oh wow.
I've never seen so much self-delusion in a guy since I was acting this way myself.
That was back in '09, and it was a situation analogous to your own.

These types of chicks are not unique, they are prolific: they are pretty and sexy and cute. They are slvts. They are attention wh0res. They have few if any female friends. 5~8 male friends. You don't know this at the moment, but she fvcks those male "friends" regularly, ALL of them.

You think you're "#3". HAH! Even if you're number 1 flavour of the month, know this: she hasn't dropped her other boy "friends", and she never will. NEVER. You can NEVER win. You can NEVER make her "your" girl.

Because in her mind she has needs that cannot be met by merely one guy alone. She is entitled; she needs the security of a rich guy to be her beta provider. She needs the excitement of an alpha sex god to be her lover. She needs a model-looking hunk trophy bf to validate to herself/her friends. She needs the friendship of a family friend to keep her connected to that part of her life. Etc etc etc. And she has no qualms about sleeping with ALL of these people, which is something that she will CERTAINLY continue to do, no matter what. (and yes, she needs her exotic foreign lover as well, the one who's d1ck she hasn't stopped longing for all the while she's been hanging out with you...)

You don't want to believe me, but I have lived wisdom and experience that cannot be contradicted.

She of course certainly has strong feelings for you. But she can't be exclusive to you, she NEVER will be exclusive to you. Should you make the mistake of trying to force her to be exclusive to you, ever, she may well pretend to be so, and use you for your money.

But without a SHADOW of a doubt, she will continue to fcuk other men, and she always will, until at least age 40, if not until the day that she dies.

She may well want you to become her boyfriend, but she will not want to be your girlfriend, at least not a proper girlfriend in the accepted sense of the word, if you know what I mean, and that is a very pathetic situation for a man to be in.

This is a reality check man, and I have no doubt you'll try and ignore it and overthink and over rationalise it and end up blundering head first into disaster anyway. You're under the powerful influence of hormones and it is leading you into disaster.

So, if I can only give you some advice which I think there is a chance you might follow, it is this: under NO circumstances stop dating and f#cking other girls.

You will want to. You will want to promise exclusivity with her, even though she is constitutionally incapable of being exclusive to you.

DON'T DO IT.

F#ck as many other girls as you can, and start dating hotter girls than you were previously. Much hotter.

Look, I know she's sweet and you have a connection and you're so compatible and its special and every thing.

But guess what, she shares special relationships with between 5~8 other guys as well, she's compatible with all of those other guys in certain ways as well. She maintains intense, intimate communication with all of those guys as well.

I've been in this situation man. It doesn't work out like a fairy tale, trust me.

 

[K-mart]

Lol, yea you guys are right. I all but walked away to get get her up...Since Saturday she's been doing the hot cold **** again. Gonna blow her off unless she plans to travel to see me this weekend at my buddy's place.

I've realized over the last two days that she's not the same girl she was before. She thinks she's hot ****, and no matter how much I cut her down she keeps fighting back and not giving the attention I deserve. She used to defer to me, do cute things, and reach put all the time. It's definitely not there and there WO 't be any forcing it, no matter how good I **** her. It makes for good sex, but yea... I'm gonna pull a disappearing act of things don't shape up soon.

Frustrating as hell man, but I'll get over it

 

[donking]

get an std test.

 

[K-mart]

Anyways, update.

We've been light/no contact since the last update, which has played out well.

I took some advice from another thread and I'll keep her spinning. I don't have enough regular plates to want to drop her and because she's not looking for attention, hasn't rejected me, and hasn't been explicitly disrespectful. That and we've fvcked already and it's good.

Low interest, while not disrespectful has completely eliminated my interest in her as GF material. effectively, I'm as uninterested as her and ready to just play it cool. She texted me saying she's down to chill, but has to figure out some **** ahead of time. I don't expect her to come, but I'm not about to give a damn if she does or doesn't. I'm done with the emotional disclosure ****. It serves no purpose.. and it's evident it's a turn-off to her.

In the mean-time I fvcked a midget and a chick I met at a MARILYN MANSON concert. :rockon: . I'm working on her friend.

But most importantly I think I found a long term goal that will keep me happy and away from women as a source of happiness. I'm actively investigating it and plan to pursue it when my contract expires . I am STOKED.

Oneitis is squelched.

Gonna use zinc's strategy when I try and **** this chick in the ass again. Gonna lube my fingers up with a condom and 'surprise' her. I already ass-****ed her 6 months ago or so.... her only excuse now has been 'I have to be drunk'. Yea, we'll see about that.

Anyways. I'm done pursuing this chick as anything more than a person I can have a fun time with and screw like a dirty *****.... I think this thread is done.

Thanks for the tough love guys. I think I am rational enough to use all the advice in a constructive and 'distinctively me' way. I imagine I can benefit the community here and return the favor.

 

[JoeMarron]

I'm done with the emotional disclosure ****

Good. I remember saying that you got what you wanted in this post

This is turning out to be a very interesting thread. OP it seems like there's two philosophies of game at play here. You're being aloof and indifferent at times but also you called the chick out on her bullchit and told her exactly want you wanted from her.

Im still sticking with my opinion that you should've continued to play it cool instead of blowing up on her over the phone but like Chickfight said it looks like you got what you wanted. Perhaps there is a time to play it cool and a time to go after what you want. I'm curious to see what the more experienced posters have to say about this. Keep us updated and good luck.

but it looks like she's slipping away again. I wouldn't even bother with this chick as a fvck buddy at this point. Life is too short to deal with hot and cold bullchit just for pvssy. Teach her a lesson she won't soon forget and drop out of her life entirely. You have the skills to replace her. Accept nothing but high interest from here on out.

 

[K-mart]

Yea I agree. I'll get better girls. In the mean time I'll keep her around and remain aloof. No use cutting loose a perfectly good plate.

When she does contact it's usually 5+ texts in succession. Honestly if I play it cool her IL will only go up...unless she finds another castle, but I don't care.

I am already implementing no tolerance for low interest women and female bull****, and I'm refining my strategies. My new life goal will also serve to motivate and refocus me.

 

[switch]

She's going overseas for a couple months

Fvck it. go fap to some p0rn or sh!t