Alright guys, I need some input

[K-mart]

Good **** man. I read yours and Hansol's advice. What I want out of this is to let her come if she wants, but stay the **** back and pursue my own passions and other women.

She'll probably drop a line every now and then and the only thing she'll get out of me is 'hey it's good your life is going well, I'm doing X. do your thing.'

No stringing along, etc. effectively dropped. I'm not going to stroke her ego or create pressure by reminding her what she's missing, and I'm not pursuing friendship.

Speaking of full A$$h0le: At least I got to tie her up and **** her in the ass, shwing :box:

 

[K-mart]

Well, DJs. I'm bumping 6 months later for a success story worth hearing.

After 6 months of very light contact with this chick, I got her to come running.

After I cut things off she was all sad, and I wasn't exactly 'happy' but it was what it was. She sent me postcards for 6 freaking months. I acknowledged sparingly and did my own thing. We exchanged emails every couple of weeks. Nothing special but probably too much.

When she returned home... Nothing... for two weeks. I broke the silence because I didn't have much else going on. Come to find she's hung up on one thing or the other.

Now for the sad part. It took me a week or so to 'realize' that it was foreign d1ck. So we sent a couple texts. There was a lot of push pull, but I couldn't get it out of her. I got sick of it and called her to tell her what I needed to continue it. It didn't go to well, and I allowed her to blab on about her 'best friend'. I called it off and hung up the phone. I felt defeated.

Now for the coincidental part. I accidentally called her via butt dial, sent a simple lackadaisical follow-up text saying 'my bad'. She replied by saying something simple and nonchalant...and I just snapped. I texted her back in full a$$h0le mode. I was furious.

Now for the good part.
I got her on the phone about 4 hours later and went straight boyfriend on her. I said 1) that she would be stuck with lesser men if she didn't quit being a stubborn ass 2) that she sent me **** for 6 months and that it was ****ing bull**** 3) that I am the only man she will meet for years that will call her on something like this 4) that if she wanted to rekindle the romance we had with a real man she had better drop what she was doing, point her finger to my house on the map, and drive her ass up here and 5) if i ever heard anything about the boy she was caught up with, I would drop her ass.

3.5 hours later she is at my door, apologizes profusely, and we screw LIKE ANIMALS for 24 hours straight. Suffice to say it, less than 24 hours after all this I am already calling her my girl and we are making plans, setting expectations, and taking things one day at a time.

Thank you so suave for helping me take my balls back. Now I just have to keep them.

 

[JoeMarron]

Well, DJs. I'm bumping 6 months later for a success story worth hearing.

After 6 months of very light contact with this chick, I got her to come running.

After I cut things off she was all sad, and I wasn't exactly 'happy' but it was what it was. She sent me postcards for 6 freaking months. I acknowledged sparingly and did my own thing. We exchanged emails every couple of weeks. Nothing special but probably too much.

When she returned home... Nothing... for two weeks. I broke the silence because I didn't have much else going on. Come to find she's hung up on one thing or the other.

Now for the sad part. It took me a week or so to 'realize' that it was foreign d1ck. So we sent a couple texts. There was a lot of push pull, but I couldn't get it out of her. I got sick of it and called her to tell her what I needed to continue it. It didn't go to well, and I allowed her to blab on about her 'best friend'. I called it off and hung up the phone. I felt defeated.

Now for the coincidental part. I accidentally called her via butt dial, sent a simple lackadaisical follow-up text saying 'my bad'. She replied by saying something simple and nonchalant...and I just snapped. I texted her back in full a$$h0le mode. I was furious.

Now for the good part.
I got her on the phone about 4 hours later and went straight boyfriend on her. I said 1) that she would be stuck with lesser men if she didn't quit being a stubborn ass 2) that she sent me **** for 6 months and that it was ****ing bull**** 3) that I am the only man she will meet for years that will call her on something like this 4) that if she wanted to rekindle the romance we had with a real man she had better drop what she was doing, point her finger to my house on the map, and drive her ass up here and 5) if i ever heard anything about the boy she was caught up with, I would drop her ass.

3.5 hours later she is at my door, apologizes profusely, and we screw LIKE ANIMALS for 24 hours straight. Suffice to say it, less than 24 hours after all this I am already calling her my girl and we are making plans, setting expectations, and taking things one day at a time.

Thank you so suave for helping me take my balls back. Now I just have to keep them.

IDK man..all this emotional disclosure is really unnecessary and maybe even detrimental. You don't need to write Shakespearean essays spilling all your emotions out on women. Save that literary talent for dirty talk. I would've just played it cool and let her initiate turning the relationship into something more. She didnt deserve a gf upgrade that quick after all the bullchit she put you through. As a matter of fact I consider it risky making decisions like this after an hours long sex session. Your mind is still riding a high and won't be in a good state to make rational decisions. Of course I could be wrong and you guys end up having a long fulfilling relationship but I'd be extremely wary if I were you.

 

[jeffreylebowski]

Just out if curiosity...what was the full a-hole text that you sent that got her on the phone?

 

[K-mart]

Skip to the bottom Jeffrey

We were always straight forward with our emotions. Hell, we talked about game and male-female dynamics. We are both very intelligent people. Albeit a little crazy. I have very high standards, and this woman meets them.

But no, she's not my gf. We need more time together first. She is doing all kinds of crazy **** for me though. If it puts things in perspective...I'm her #3. I laid out some non-negotiable terms of our interactions and we talked about relationship dynamics. I still need to talk to her about a couple things, but I am confident that she respects the heck out of me. So we're going to take things one step at a time. The only misstep I made was insinuating that I would be ok with her committing, but she wanted more time together (yes I was on a sex high)... I recovered by saying 'yea, you know what, let's take it one day at a time'

This girl turns men into boys. She has a number of male friends that I'm going to alpha the **** out of, and I still need to talk to her about some of her less respectful male friends. She told me she had a couple folks 'come on to her' since she has been back (note this is before me being back in the picture). I want to make sure she asserts to them that 'they are nothing more than friends' to see if they respect that.

If they hover around after that or do anything to undermine me, I'm just going to tell them what's up. If I get any attitude I'm going to tell her to cut them out of her life. My plan is to just straight up tell them that she is mine, that there are plenty of women out there for them, and that if they respect her and me they'll back off... and then befriend them/help them pick up chicks, lol.

I think you're underestimating our history a little, but I will be, well, wary and rational (I will try man.. I will try), but I don't think there is much of a need to game her. She is rational, but she is a woman. She was already working on a 'big gift' for me prior to me calling her out... and she is still doing things and brought me stuff. I'm pretty much ready to resume this romance and make her mine.

I call her 'my girl' only as a means to assert my dominance.

Makes me cringe to type this, but here was the text:
She said 'Well, if that's what they're calling it these days you're fine haha.'
I texted her: I'm incredible not good. Accident, nothing else. No time for a woman who can't keep her priorities straight/caught up on foreign ****/self-made tragedy. Deleting this number along with all the **** you sent. You won't be hearing from me, even by mistake.'

So there you go

 

[Lord Hypnos]

But no, she's not my gf.

I'm her #3.

My plan is to just straight up tell them that she is mine

I'm pretty much ready to resume this romance and make her mine.

I call her 'my girl' only as a means to assert my dominance.

'You won't be hearing from me, even by mistake.'

wow man, this is messed up. no offense, but do you even realize how much of a CHUMP you sound like right now?

 

[K-mart]

wow man, this is messed up. no offense, but do you even realize how much of a CHUMP you sound like right now?

Nah I don't. Thinking more rationally, I will probably drop the my girl ****, but maybe not. I'm definitely going to take a step back though and take things on day at a time. I am HAPPY to have her back in my life, and I haven't had such a surge in emotions in a good while for anyone like that. It is wholly refreshing.

I'm sorry if the facts upset you. I am telling them to you so that you can understand what I'm working with as well as providing you the context.

As for the text. I don't think you understand. I was ready to drop her and walk away. Literally.

As far as romance and what not... I mean it in the best way possible. She's not property, but yes, perhaps it came off like that. I'm giving you the skinny.

And yes, when there are hoverers and they are disrespectful to you, I think telling them what the deal is is perfectly acceptable. not 'my girl' in the sense of property, jesus, simply stating that we are dating now and that they need to back off. Hell, I think that's a lot more civil than busting skulls.

 

[Lord Hypnos]

Nah I don't. Thinking more rationally, I will probably drop the my girl ****, but maybe not. I'm definitely going to take a step back though and take things on day at a time. I am HAPPY to have her back in my life, and I haven't had such a surge in emotions in a good while for anyone like that. It is wholly refreshing.

I'm sorry if the facts upset you. I am telling them to you so that you can understand what I'm working with as well as providing you the context.

As for the text. I don't think you understand. I was ready to drop her and walk away. Literally.

I just think it's very in-congruent to tell a girl that you're going to cut her off forever because you're sick of her sh1t, then take her back the moment she throws some pussi at you. Now you're back to square one trying to make her 'your girl', when she is clearly spinning plates. She will never dread the thought of you cutting her out of your life forever if she fvcks up and disrespects you again, because your word means nothing to her now. All she has to do is throw some of her magic pussi at you, and bingo, she has you back groveling at her feet.

 

[WoodB]

I do believe she has you under her spell, a situation very precarious for men. Lie low, and remember, that if it feels like you are getting a tooth pulled, you are. Is she worth it if your Jolly Roger were not at attention?

 

[K-mart]

Great point Hypno - Definitely going to lay low and play it cool. There is some history/emotional issues that lead me to think she won't go running, but I definitely won't make any attempts to escalate until I get the competition out of the way.

It wasn't like she threw just pvssy at me. She drove 2.5 hours at the drop of my hat to see me and bared a bit of her soul to me while doing so. It was disgustingly romantic. Far from any type of casual ****. I think this a pretty objective opinion

I way never 'groveling at her feet'. She came to me and I set the standard saying that what happened will not happen again, and I absolutely mean it.

I had two dates on the day before all of this and banged one chick. I don't have a problem or any hesitation dropping her if it comes to it. She knows I have other women, but is also aware that we like the **** out of each other, and that we are comfortable investing our time into each other. I probably won't be dropping the others until/if I get her. Even then, if she is still bull****ting with me, I won't drop them.

I think the best route is to play it cool, stay rational, and enjoy the ride.

 

[Chickfight]

Hey man, I think you've done everything perfectly so far.

I mean you've gotten what you wanted. I don't see why people are still criticizing. I guess they just need to know better and assume the girl in your story is like the girls they've dealt with in the past. Your situation is complicated and none of us here can understand it as well as you do. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, so follow your gut and you'll be fine. That sh!t you said to her on the phone, that's some next level sh!t. Took some balls and skill to do that.

I had a somewhat similar situation to you a few years back and I wish I had handled it like you. Met a girl, had a crazy passionate relationship, had to go overseas and couldn't keep the feelings over skype and phone. I asked for advice here, but didn't get much useful. I knew I had to keep my distance, that's what my gut told me, but I couldn't let go of something that made me feel so good. So we just kept talking for hours about how great it was when we did this and that and it just fizzled out.

But you had the courage to seize it by the tits man and the wisdom to make the right choices and stick to them, so congratulations. Double points for integrity. People here could learn a lot from you.

 

[K-mart]

Thanks. What I said on the phone was probably the most manly yet romantic thing I've ever said to a woman. She called it that "daddy voice", heh.

I know I have a propensity to over-think and over-analyze things. It's an unfortunate part of who I am and something that I find to be a daily struggle.

It's also why I value others' opinions, and while I don't agree with some of the advice here, I certainly value it and and the insight it provides!

At this point I just want to control my emotions, see it for what it really is, and move forward while having fun and not having to over-think things.

This is the kind of chick who wakes the natural leader in me, and I want to continue to harness that energy, and be that person without needing her around.

I think the best advice I can give myself is to simply let her do her and me do me. She'll come to me, I'll come to her, and we'll have fun until it sparks into something more.

 

[JoeMarron]

This is turning out to be a very interesting thread. OP it seems like there's two philosophies of game at play here. You're being aloof and indifferent at times but also you called the chick out on her bullchit and told her exactly want you wanted from her.

Im still sticking with my opinion that you should've continued to play it cool instead of blowing up on her over the phone but like Chickfight said it looks like you got what you wanted. Perhaps there is a time to play it cool and a time to go after what you want. I'm curious to see what the more experienced posters have to say about this. Keep us updated and good luck.

 

[JoeMarron]

I think the best advice I can give myself is to simply let her do her and me do me. She'll come to me, I'll come to her, and we'll have fun until it sparks into something more.

100% yes. Don't drop any of your other chicks until she makes it blatantly clear that she wants to be exclusive with you.

 

[K-mart]

Yea it's kind of interesting. I agree. I think men must act courageously when something they desire is on the line. Gotta let your pimp hand swing hard.

It let her know that I was more than just indifferent...that I was interested, but that I wouldn't tolerate her nonsense or maintain her frame, and that if she respected me at all she would understand it, see it, and act on it.

She actually THANKED ME for letting go 5 or so months ago to let her 'explore'. She discovered for herself that being a 'ho wasn't for her. So now she's 'my dirty little b1tch'. and proud of it. Pretty win if you ask me.

I really think it's a respect thing in the traditional sense, not in an AFC 'I respect women' sense of the word, but rather a 'I see value in you and you see value in me, let's play ball' kind of way. Regardless, she's got her walls up still so I'm just gonna be awesome, smash the walls, let her in closer, and smash her.

It will be a matter of asserting my dominance over her emotionally, and when possible/necessary, physically, by showing her that I am the man for her.

A note on game. Some people have questioned the fact that 'women testing you to see if you can stand up to them' is not necessarily a good reproductive test because children are children and you hold a sense of ownership over them. I argue that women test the way they test because they want the best, not just in their offspring, but in life in general. They want a man who can be successful in all areas of life therefore if you stand up to her, you're not afraid to stand up to other life challenges.

This is why I absolutely DESPISE feminism's mantra that women are better than men. In this day and age you can have successful career oriented men such as myself who have been told their whole lives that women are to be respected in an AFC sense of the word. So here we are winning at every aspect of life but SUCKING with women.

I think it's worth noting we shared a couple med/high risk disclosures. She initiated a number of them and I reciprocated as it felt appropriate. Hilariously, the last thing she said to me before heading home as "you got your b1tch back". I about sh1t my pants laughing.

Regardless I think I'm going to start using this forum more often now. apart from the good advice I think I have something positive to contribute.

I think I'm a traditionalist in the sense that I'm going to be 100% me with women and if they don't like it, they can lick my butthole. Getting laid isn't my focus, but rather meeting someone to add value to my life. It is nice to have a couple women on the side, at least for now, though, and I gamed the **** out of them, and feed them little scooby snacks from time to time. If anything this woman will appreciate the fact that I chose her.

I'll game only to gauge interest, but be the genuine compassionate me. I didn't game her when I called her, even thought I was playing the game so to speak... I was PISSED.

 

[zinc4]

Op, no offense but basically you are the woman in the relationship and she is the man...my meaning being that the roles are completely reversed....you should be the one going overseas or pursuing something other in your life while she is fighting to turn you into something more...

let that sink in for a while....you definitely have a huge onenitis with her and that is why she is willing to drop you at the tip of a hat to go travel.....

and we get it you are a passionate guy, guess what...so am i and probably many others here..but fact is she has the IL advantage on you right now...drop her...if you can't cut off a girl who you really like just like that then you will never reach DJ status....this is good training for you...tell her to not worry about you and to have the time of your life because you will be doing the same....

 

[K-mart]

I should probably update the OP since you missed my more recent post. I have my own passions in life. I make 6 figures working hard and I am an avid cyclist.

I have a little oneitis, I admit it. I am actively managing it. I haven't had a GF in a year so it's a bit of a shock to my system to have someone with high IL in my life so suddenly. I also carry scars from life and previous relationships that I'm working to overcome. It's a lot to manage

Zinc. The last sentence of your post is good advice no matter what point in life you're at. Have fun, don't hold your partner back so long as it is respecting the relationship, and is logically defensible. Chicks are capable of reasoning and explaining why they did something, but if you can tell them why it's wrong and where the bull**** lies they'll respect you for it because they usually act on feelings first. Assuming the BS act was inadvertent/Intentional but not malicious. Malicious chicks should lick your butthole and not be fcked by anyone.

*was ranting a little. edited it out.*


Now another facet of feminism I disagree with is the "I'll be a wh0re and you'll deal with it" mentality, but hey, that's another long conversation that I'd love to chat about. (And actually as a naturalist I have conflicting opinions)

Actually - Can a mod update the OP to refer to post #23?

 

[K-mart]

Called her and re-oriented the frame. I was too emotionally intense when we met, but it was almost rivaled on her end.

Basically said that she's not my girl yet, but that she can stay my dirty ***** for now while we get to know each other and take it one day at a time.

I told her that I want to get to know her, her friends, and her family as well as a couple other things before I'm ready to make a commitment, but that the emotions were flying so high that I kind of lost my bearings. I also told her that I have a couple 'other' things that I look for. In reality I'm speaking to the number of hoverers she allows to hang around, but I guess it'll keep her hamster going until/if she ever wants it.

I also change some of our plans from 'I'd like you to come' to 'It'll be really fun and I'd love to have you, but it's up to you'.

It's a change of pace so to speak, but any intelligent and considerate person will acknowledge what happened. I don't really care if it didn't light up her feelings. Her interest is already high. I think she appreciated the gesture, acknowledged what happened and is cool with it.

She's down. I'll prove it through my actions and by playing it cool, as I said.

I also had a text exchange with another chick that was pretty damn hilarious. I think I made her go ghost for a bit, but whatever.
Chick Nice Guy'd me, but offered up some friends: I said "Ew. Nice guy. That gives me the shivers. Yes, yes, X here and Y there gave you away. I read you like a book. Your loss I'd be down to meet some of your friends" I'll let her sort that one out. I met her online and her defenses were so high that I could have come wearing a clown suit and she would have felt threatened.

 

[K-mart]

Here's an update since some folks were interested, but there's really not too terribly much to add. In between now and then I called her out on some bull**** that I won't detail, level-set some things, and had a fun date.

Things are well. We went on a date yesterday and I asserted a couple of important things. The date was great. I literally had her chasing me for miles as I fed her hints as to where I was.

First I asserted in conversation that she wasn't my girlfriend. She asked a bit about my views on women, and I shared a sentiment that most men here hold. Her questions were spawned from some of the gender dynamic discussions we have had.

I eased her fears that while, I have been guilty of misogynistic thoughts, that I see her as 360 degrees of a person. I asserted that I view her as a woman first, and then everything else after. I did so by explaining all the things that I look to provide as a man and all of the things I expect in response to that.

I stated that after these first few 'bumps in the road' that come along with reuniting with someone after 6 months, that things will be more chill and less about making a statement, but that if called upon I will do what I think has to be done, and that we have to rebuild a trust and understanding.

On an interesting note she stated that she felt like I might 'put on a show' when I see her, and I explained that she really just brings out the best in me because I see the type of person she is and the kind of man she demands. That it's more about me reacting to her than it is me being something I'm not. She's the kind of woman who, as I described in my previous posts, lights a fire under my ass.

The whole while we're flirting, having fun, and just enjoying each other. At the end of our little date she expressed interest in doing more. I agreed, and we'll go from there.

We didn't really have time for sex, but we're kind of beyond needing that every time. It felt like I was getting to know my best friend again and I drove away totally content. She texted me later thanking me and being cute.

On a REALLY interesting note we were kissing and getting kind of close, I made a comment that I knew she was going to blue ball me (busy parking lot, limited time) and she said 'Why don't you get one of your other women to take care of that'. I kind of nodded, smirked, and made it obvious I very well could. It was kind of a casual, not snarky, matter-of-fact-in-passing thing. I'm kind-of still processing it. She's always been the kind of girl to say 'I hate competition', but for her to acknowledge it, be agnostic to it, and totally indifferent was ballsy and attractive as hell. nonetheless it was intriguing.

I probably should have whipped it out at that point and kept her busy, but they'll be other opportunities lol.

Interesting, nonetheless. Hope you all enjoyed the read.

 

[NewAndImproved]

Entertaining thread. We think alike I think. She sounds like a fun one.

That said-- Careful. You've done a good job identifying what you've done right but don't get too high when things seem to be going well. I'm in a situation myself where a girl has recently reemerged after a year of limited contact. When she reached out I didn't overreact. I'm always mindful of what happened the first time. You should be too. Always keep your guard up.