Today:
I went to the mall to see where I was in terms of confidence/approaching/etc. It turns out that I've made progress, but no giant leaps (yet
). In total, I approached four people, 3 girls and 1 guy. I spent three hours at the mall there but most of that time was spent looking around for girls, shying away from HBs, watching if my parents were anywhere to be seen, and shopping. Unfortunately, Sunday is a horrible day to pick up girls between the ages of 15 and 17. Most of the girls I saw there looked 12 and were with their parents! The first girl I approached was a girl I knew went to my school. I had never spoken with her before, so I deemed it as a cold approach. As we were about to walk by eachother, I called her name and she said "yeah!" We engaged in small talk about a mutual friend, I asked if she was going to be at so-and-so's party next weekend, etc. The whole time, I noticed that she was acting a little shifty. Then, I realized that I was also acting nervous, which she probably picked up on, which made her nervous. After sensing this, I realized that there was no point to continuing and I would get nothing out of this. I broke away and went off to find another girl. For the next half hour, I let a few HBs pass me up because I just lost my nerve when I decided to approach them. Fvck me. I finally found another girl who was leaning up against a column, looking somewhat lost and confused. I walked up to her and said "Hey, how's it going?" She looked at me, looked down, and said "Good...excuse me." And she walked away from me. I walked away also, thinking to myself, "Damn. Her loss, oh well." Another hour of shopping, uncompleted approaches, and wistful thinking later, I walked into a shoe store. I walked up to the nearest male employee and asked him a few questions about shoes, which style he likes, etc. I found the pair that I wanted, which were incidentally the same pair he was wearing, and went up to the register. A female employee was there, mulling over a restaurant menu. I approached her, said hello, and commented on the fact that she looked incredibly bored. She smiled and replied with "Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out what to order for lunch. No one is telling me what they want." Conversation continued a bit, nothing important, and I made my purchase. I told the girl to have a great day and ejected. On my way out, I thanked the sales associate with a handshake, he told me to find him the next time I come to the store and gave me his name. I said thanks and left. I left the mall feeling bitter. Why did she just walk away? Was I being nervous again? Probably. Man, whatever. Today was a good learning day for me. These failures weren't failures at all, they made what I need to work on glaringly obvious. I apparently still need to work on inner-game and approaching. Oh, I also thought of a really good opener when I got a call from my buddy:
CF: "Hey, I've got a question for you."
HB: "Ummm...ok."
CF: "My buddy went overseas a few months ago to fight in Iraq. Three months into Iraq, he gets a letter from his girlfriend, breaking up with him. She broke up with him becuase "I never get to see you and I'm just so lonely." My friend was devastated. Do you agree with what his ex-girlfriend did?"
Best part is that this actually happened (My friend is out of Iraq now, but this happened when he was there.)
I suppose that today wasn't a TOTAL failure, but still, I'm so upset with myself.
:cuss: