Alpha text sent when she tried to break up....

[phil2015]

Hi guys,

Been in a strange situ with a HB 6 single mum I've been dating recently for a few months.

In a nutshell, both keeping this real low key and quiet but have agreed to be exclusive with eachother. Dates consist of mainly me going to her place to see her when her son is in bed, and so far have a 100% action success rate.

Monday of this week, I get a text during day saying she didn't see how we could go anywhere as she was having to divide time between me and her son, and she felt bad to me etc.

I sent the following text back;

" That's fine.
I am not going to argue or try to change your mind.
I think however you are making a mistake.
I'll leave you to it"

I got a message 2 mins later, with her saying she was sorry, agreed she was making a mistake etc.


Things appear to be stable at the moment, and for the last week I've focussed on working out, bought Corey Wayne's book, taken up running and generally kept to myself.

It would appear that by sending a non-begging and indifferent text I have successfully retracted her.

My question is: Would her interest level have to be at the point of no return for her to send a message like that?

And am I wasting by time completely?

She didn't EXPLICITLY say she wanted to break up, but was just unsure/unbeknownst towards things.....

I know I'm not going to marry this girl, but it is nice to have a plate , and I would appreciate the learning curve.

All advice, no matter how brutal is welcome.

Regards

Phil

 

[Trump]

Hi guys,

Monday of this week, I get a text during day saying she didn't see how we could go anywhere as she was having to divide time between me and her son, and she felt bad to me etc.

I love these texts, she is already telling you how you feel before you even feel it.

I sent the following text back;

" That's fine.
I am not going to argue or try to change your mind.
I think however you are making a mistake.

I got a message 2 mins later, with her saying she was sorry, agreed she was making a mistake etc.

My question is: Would her interest level have to be at the point of no return for her to send a message like that?

All advice, no matter how brutal is welcome.

Regards

Phil

It doesn't matter what her IL was. As soon as you said "I think you are making a mistake," she has got you. Now if anything goes wrong in the future, she can always come back to that text and use it against you.

I wouldn't have even responded.

One week later I would texted her "I am going to Vegas for a business meeting, I want you and your son to join me two days later at the Penthouse in the best hotel. I will fly you both first class and have a limo pick you up at the airport."

See if she replies "I don't see it going anywhere because I can't divide time between you and my son."

It's a money and value issue, not a chemistry and dividing time issue.

 

[Yewki]

And am I wasting by time completely?

Depends what your goals are, but considering you've had a 100% action success rate when you meet up with her it doesn't sound like a waste of time.

Well done on your response to her **** test too.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Yep, good response to nuke the hamster. I'm going to use it!

 

[RangerMIke]

A better response by you would have been "Okay, let me know if you change your mind."

Then walk away, if she calls you back, make her come to you.

 

[Desdinova]

My question is: Would her interest level have to be at the point of no return for her to send a message like that?

Not at all. Occasionally, women will feel guilty and do stupid 5hit because of it. In this case, she's feeling guilty about not spending enough time with you, so she is being considerate in cutting you loose. It's not because of low IL, it's because she has low self esteem, and feels bad for bogging you down with her and her baggage.

In your response, you basically told her you like her, but you don't need her. That's how your interest SHOULD appear to a woman. That is how you keep a woman.

 

[Epimanes]

I love the thread title... "An alpha text"... Since when is texting being alpha?

She should spend more time with her son.. And she shouldn't have to divide her time. And if your serious.. So should you also get to know the kid because she is leading up to that at some point. Or quit wasting everyones time..

And if I seem a bit bitter about this its because I am... I was once "that kid" who got cast aside so my mom could fvck random dudes.. Introduce me to them.. Allow me to get attatched and then some"issue" would arise and cause some drama... And poof.. A new guy would be around the corner to repeat the process and it totally fvcked with my head.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

And they say you can't raise attraction through text. :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

Well done. You know her better than any of these fools here lol so take their opinions with a grain of salt and take your experience more heavily. She seems to have changed her mind so that means that you clearly passed this sh!t test. Which apparently not everyone here says you did (or they think you could have passed with a higher 'score' or whatever).

Anyway, experience trumps all. Good job.

 

[nismo-4]

That text was not alpha bro.

We need to make a thread about alpha text messages.

Saying "you'll regret it" is like calling a girl ugly after she's already rejected you.

Shows you care too much.

It could be a sh*t test or a display of low interest. Hell, losing a source of sex is a breakup for a man, like when a woman loses an attention provider, beta orbiter, or emotional tampon.

You should have ended it at "That's fine" or my personal favourite in situations like this, "k".

Drives women crazy.

Only if they have attraction and interest.

Read between the lines.

 

[sph21]

She has a low interest from the start of your relationship by dividing her time with you and her kid. That way, she could just dump you without hurting her kid by knowing that you're gone. If she had a high IL, then she wouldn't hide you from her kid.

You were desperate enough of losing her by texting "you are making a mistake". A desperate man is a powerless man. It's not sexy.

I suggest you to read DJ Bible more to understand the concepts above.

 

[Dreesy]

It seems like you've postponed something, at best.

Don't be surprised if this exact issue, or another one like it, shows up again in the near future.

 

[way2smart]

A better response by you would have been "Okay, let me know if you change your mind."

I disagree with this. I think this is the worst thing a man can say.
Here is my reasoning. When you tell her "let me know if you change your mind", you are giving the power away to her completely. In other words, you are basically saying:

"you can leave me now, f*ck some other dudes, then if you change your mind you can still come back because I will be waiting for you".

The best think to say would be to agree with the woman and tell her "yeah I have been thinking about that too, I'm glad you brought it up and I really want to break up with you"

This will show that you are the one who is calling the shot and not her, this will definitely raise her interest level.

 

[GS750]

"I am not going to argue or try to change your mind". This was good. I've said basically the same thing to a girl before and the look on her face was priceless. But "I think however you are making a mistake". Meh...not so good but not really bad either. Overall, I think you handled it well. No begging, no pleading, no promising you'll change, etc.

 

[El Payaso]

Good text but I would have left out the part about not going to argue and her making a mistake.

 

[G_Govan]

I think you're looking at it the wrong way.

She attempted to break up with you. As someone else mentioned, you've only "delayed" the inevitable.

You said you wouldn't argue or try to change her mind, but telling her she's making a mistake IS an argument AND an attempt to change her mind.

She's probably going to try and milk you as much as she can while providing very little if any sex (at least the kind you'd enjoy). Good luck.

Personally, I would've said "I appreciate your honesty."

Getting dumped by a single mother is not at all a position you want to be in. Leave this chick alone, if not for your own sanity.

 

[logicallefty]

HB: Don't know if I will have time.. Bla bla bla mouth fart.. Bla..

Lefty: all right. Thanks for letting me know. Take care.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

My question is: Would her interest level have to be at the point of no return for her to send a message like that?

Probably, but why would you want to continue on with someone whose having second thoughts about having you around? That's what you ought to be asking yourself.

And am I wasting by time completely?

If you're interested in getting an up close and personal lesson on what it's like to be involved in a relationship with a girl who's not completely sold on being with you, the many indicators that the relationship is bound to collapse...wasting your time? Absolutely not. You can learn plenty, for sure (you did say "I would appreciate the learning curve"...)

She didn't EXPLICITLY say she wanted to break up, but was just unsure/unbeknownst towards things.....

She might as well have told you "it's over". Any "maybe we should take a break from each other" "I'm not sure about us" kind of talk ought to be treated as a full on break up. Either she's been pondering a split from you for some time now (not good) or she's playing a little dread game on you (also not good). On the upside, it doesn't sound like you'd be losing much if this plate were to fall by the wayside.

 

[Yewki]

That text was not alpha bro.

Saying "you'll regret it" is like calling a girl ugly after she's already rejected you.

Shows you care too much.

You should have ended it at "That's fine" or my personal favourite in situations like this, "k".

Drives women crazy.

I would say your idea of the best responses are too extreme. Just my opinion but saying "k" comes across as trying too hard not to look butt hurt. If I texted a girl a short explanation of why I need to stop seeing her, and she responded with "k" it would be obvious to me she was upset and hiding her feelings.

Also, the OP told her "That's fine" but elaborated on it which I feel was the right thing to do. Just saying "That's fine" and nothing works best if you've barely seen the girl IMO. In this case the OP had been seeing her for months. You see someone for months and all you have to say is, "That's fine"? ... again, too extreme and trying too hard not to look butt hurt. My opinion.

 

[phil2015]

Hi guys, OP here

Thanks for all the great responses, your advice was much appreciated and very useful

As an update, decided to give this girl a miss.
For a while now, I've sensed her flakiness due to work/her son/ family issues etc, low IL, personal problems, wouldn't lend me 1 cigarette when she had 5 in a packet blah blah.

So I've gone no contact to move on and work on myself, as I feel I'd be happier on my own

Thanks once again

Phil

 

[Baggio86]

Getting dumped by a single mother is not at all a position you want to be in. Leave this chick alone, if not for your own sanity.

This is very true! I made this mistake of hanging on with a single mother one time and it totally killed my self worth and self-respect... Took months to recover from that.. never again.

Show her what she lost by walking away with a smile.