Story of the Year...
Okay guys, check this out. My girlfriend started hanging out with this other guy recently. Well, okay, replace the words "hanging out" with "being annoyed by". You see, she met this gay guy at school who she thought would make a good friend, but he's been pissing her off. She tells me he's just really flamboyant and stuff and instead of walking like a normal person, he skips like a fairy. He also flirts like crazy with every guy in sight. Often smacking guy's butts when they walk by. She tells me that this usually results in him being chased by these guys. She tells me that when he runs, he flails his arms around like a little pansy and screams like a little girl.
So she's been trying to give him hints that she doesn't want to hang around with him, but he just changes the subject and asks if she wants to go get a manicure with him. So I told her to bring him to this party that me and my gf were going to. I decided that I'd try to scare him a little bit.
So me and my girl are chilling at this party when all of the sudden we hear a bunch of people laughing near the front entrance. We walked over to see what was so funny. Sure enough, it was him. I'd guess he was about 5'10", 120lbs, max. He walks in wearing a midriff t-shirt. He's wearing capri pants and sandals with his painted toenails shining for everyone to see. Think Prince, but slightly more gay, if that's possible. Emblazoned across his skin-tight midriff was the word "S0LID".
She told me that's what he likes to call himself because that's how he likes his boyfriends to be in bed. Whatever, too much information for me.
So he prances over to my girl and tries to chat her up. The whole time he keeps looking out of the corner of his eye at me, and biting his lip. Suddenly he tells my girl that he has to go to the bathroom.
My buddies and I decided to have a little fun with him. We found a plastic knife that was being used to cut some cake.
So I go up to the bathroom door and wait. About 5 minutes pass and I'm wondering wtf is going on. I put my ear up to the door and guess what I heard?
"Ugh! Oh...god! Mmmm....yea italostud!"
The bastard was spanking the monkey to thoughts of me!
So I turned back to everyone and made a jerk-off motion with my hand to let them know what I had just heard. Everyone starts cracking up. I decided that S0LID had enough time in the bathroom so I motioned for everyone to gather around the bathroom so they could get a glimpse of the fairy playing with his wand.
I kicked open the door, and there he was, spanking off the smallest wang I've ever seen in my life. But the funniest shyt was that he was fellating the bottle of shampoo that was sitting on the corner of the sink.
Everyone just stood there stunned for a minute in silence.
I couldn't stop myself from laughing but I managed to yell at him "Stay away from me you flamming homo!" as I pretended to poke him with the plastic cutlery.
He started flailing his arms in some kind of gay-windmill and ran out of the house! Funny thing was that he had actually shyt himself in fear/embarassment and the turd was stuck to his buttcheek while he ran.
So I go out to the porch and he's out there on the lawn, naked with a turd stuck to his butt, shaking. Everyone was basically on the ground laughing. I said "listen man, you should probably get out of here."
He started screaming about how his mom is a bull-dyke and how she's going to kick my azz and stuff. I just laughed and started walking towards him with the plastic knife. He ran off towards the woods.
Funny thing is his mom actually called my house and talked to my mother the next day. She says that her son is a wreck and that he's been shaking all night and urinating on himself whenever there's a loud noise.
What is the world coming to?
Okay guys, check this out. My girlfriend started hanging out with this other guy recently. Well, okay, replace the words "hanging out" with "being annoyed by". You see, she met this gay guy at school who she thought would make a good friend, but he's been pissing her off. She tells me he's just really flamboyant and stuff and instead of walking like a normal person, he skips like a fairy. He also flirts like crazy with every guy in sight. Often smacking guy's butts when they walk by. She tells me that this usually results in him being chased by these guys. She tells me that when he runs, he flails his arms around like a little pansy and screams like a little girl.
So she's been trying to give him hints that she doesn't want to hang around with him, but he just changes the subject and asks if she wants to go get a manicure with him. So I told her to bring him to this party that me and my gf were going to. I decided that I'd try to scare him a little bit.
So me and my girl are chilling at this party when all of the sudden we hear a bunch of people laughing near the front entrance. We walked over to see what was so funny. Sure enough, it was him. I'd guess he was about 5'10", 120lbs, max. He walks in wearing a midriff t-shirt. He's wearing capri pants and sandals with his painted toenails shining for everyone to see. Think Prince, but slightly more gay, if that's possible. Emblazoned across his skin-tight midriff was the word "S0LID".
She told me that's what he likes to call himself because that's how he likes his boyfriends to be in bed. Whatever, too much information for me.
So he prances over to my girl and tries to chat her up. The whole time he keeps looking out of the corner of his eye at me, and biting his lip. Suddenly he tells my girl that he has to go to the bathroom.
My buddies and I decided to have a little fun with him. We found a plastic knife that was being used to cut some cake.
So I go up to the bathroom door and wait. About 5 minutes pass and I'm wondering wtf is going on. I put my ear up to the door and guess what I heard?
"Ugh! Oh...god! Mmmm....yea italostud!"
The bastard was spanking the monkey to thoughts of me!
So I turned back to everyone and made a jerk-off motion with my hand to let them know what I had just heard. Everyone starts cracking up. I decided that S0LID had enough time in the bathroom so I motioned for everyone to gather around the bathroom so they could get a glimpse of the fairy playing with his wand.
I kicked open the door, and there he was, spanking off the smallest wang I've ever seen in my life. But the funniest shyt was that he was fellating the bottle of shampoo that was sitting on the corner of the sink.
Everyone just stood there stunned for a minute in silence.
I couldn't stop myself from laughing but I managed to yell at him "Stay away from me you flamming homo!" as I pretended to poke him with the plastic cutlery.
He started flailing his arms in some kind of gay-windmill and ran out of the house! Funny thing was that he had actually shyt himself in fear/embarassment and the turd was stuck to his buttcheek while he ran.
So I go out to the porch and he's out there on the lawn, naked with a turd stuck to his butt, shaking. Everyone was basically on the ground laughing. I said "listen man, you should probably get out of here."
He started screaming about how his mom is a bull-dyke and how she's going to kick my azz and stuff. I just laughed and started walking towards him with the plastic knife. He ran off towards the woods.
Funny thing is his mom actually called my house and talked to my mother the next day. She says that her son is a wreck and that he's been shaking all night and urinating on himself whenever there's a loud noise.
What is the world coming to?
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