OP, don't be too hard on yourself, but also make this a lesson learned: As a man, you LEAD THE SEXUAL INTERACTION by prepping everything from logistics to condoms.
What gave you the impression I was hard on myself? Idgaf either way, I just thought this whole thing was entetaining as hell. I truly don't care, I haven't even fapped since that night and hadn't fapped for almost 2 weeks prior either out of sheer apathy, my sex drive is extremely low.
Did you say she said she has bpd?
If so.... you lucked out.
I have hooked up with several 9’s in my life and for whatever reason they all had some issue like bpd.
Not sure I follow, I lucked out that she is the exact same as every other hot girl?
idk what to make of this. you gave yourself blue balls, couldn't capitalize on a hot chick who had her mouth on your d.ck already, and then started to analyze her life and whether she would be a good plate..
idk whats up with sosuavers.. you guys are a different breed..
and honestly let me just say this to everyone.. if you're afraid to f a girl without a condom, you're not made for this sh.t (not you OP, i know you planned on f-ing her anywy.. i think she jus wasnt fully turned on tbh)
I wasn't afraid, I could just tell she wasn't quite feeling it. I'm rusty, haven't had sex or a date since Sep due to a voluntary break from women.
Besides, getting this close to sex and showing indifference about it speaks volumes, the ability of guys to restrain themselves and not be thirsty is powerful especially if they know you can dominate them. At one point I literally had her naked on my bed, spread her legs, rubbed my **** on her ***** then backed off literally because my gut told me it was a bad idea.
And yes on your 2nd point, I avoid cluster B types like the plague but this girl was hot enough for me to ignore it. Again, I didn't really make this topic for advice as much as I made it to share because I thought it was interesting. I only threw in the question at the end for the sake of discussion.