All's Fair in Love and War....Or Is It?

[Jazzman19]

I have one for you guys, this is something even I can't decide what to think on it. I personally think it is way over the line, but a part of me wonders. Anyway, my younger brother (18) has been seeing this girl. Since I am his older brother he asks me for advice a lot, especially since I was engaged for two years, but lately my love life has been a mess so he hasn't been asking me as much. That changed last night with this girl.

Here is a quick breakdown- They have been having sex for about 6 months, but aren't a "couple." She told him that she wanted to date other guys cause she is still young (19), and didn't want to be tied down to just him. Since he already had two other girls on the side, my lil bro went with it, and they have apparently been dating and screwing each other ever since. He was telling me last night though, that about two weeks ago one of the other guys she has been seeing has been getting a bit more of her attention then he would like. To him it seemed like she might be falling for this guy as much as the guy had fallen for her.

So instead of asking me what to do, he decided he was going to ditch the other girls he was banging and go after just her. But he told me he decided he need to get this other guy out of the way first, and this is where my question of the "all is fair in love and war" comes into question. He found out the guy wasn't on Facebook, so he made up a profile with this dude's generic information (I did not ask how he found out things like the guy's birthday and all, I don't WANT to know). He found the girl they are mutually banging, and sent her a message, acting as this guy, saying things were "done" between them, and that she was a "slut."

Today she called up my lil bro telling him that she decided she wanted to be just with him, and that the other guy she was dating had turned out to be "an jerk." My lil bro is happy as can be, they are officially a couple now, and she is eating out of his hand. Personally, I can't justify this, I think it is the shadiest thing I have EVER heard of. What do you guy's think, does this fight under the "all is fair in love and war" category?

(Oh and before the questions begin, this really IS about my little brother, hahaha just in-case anyone questioned it)

 

[KontrollerX]

Great move by your brother.

The other guy would've done the same had he thought of it first.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Sounds fair to me. I might use that sometime.

 

[intrextrovert]

Sounds shady as **** to me as well

 

[Perfect10]

To bad for the other guy.
Your lil'bro is a genious.
The girl is a *****.

 

[MillenniumMike]

It works but that's shady. However he does have skills because he can date multiple girls, instead of addressing his shady tactics, guide him to focus on the traits you agree with.

 

[WhtRbt]

lol wow. Wouldn't she have called the other dude up and asked him about it tho?

 

[Jazzman19]

lol wow. Wouldn't she have called the other dude up and asked him about it tho?

I have ZERO clue. All I know is he told me the story, I asked to see proof so he showed me the profile and the message, and today I got back from my Final for one of my college Graduate classes and they were making out on the couch.

For those who agree with me that it is shady, I am working on him. He is MUCH better then I am at dating, the little guy is a natural. My little sister, who is 19, is amazed at how easily he fits in anywhere. Much more extroverted then the rest of the family, and seems to be a good kid. Other then this move of course, which I admit at first I was like "holy crap...that is pretty smart."

 

[BlackJackal]

I have to say it's fair. Then again I look at things from an objective stand point.

 

[SickAgain]

Sure it's fair. But it'd also be fair if that dude found out and beats down your bro.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

That's pretty funny. How long was this in the works? The girl fell for it, so she gets some blame too. Did he get all his info, add pictures, and even have friends? I know I'd be suspicious if his friend list had like 5 people and there were only a few pictures. He must have really gone all out with that profile or the girl is just an idiot.

This is just more proof that spinning more plates = good, and that the game is a two-way street (as in, it works for women too). He freaked out when she started hanging out with other guys too much, so he went soft and dropped these other girls he was seeing just for her. Doesn't sound very don juan to me.

 

[macallik]

the problem isn't that he deceived her but that he dropped all his plates for her. Cue the one-itis and get ready to console him for when things go south.

Also, as for his technique, it was smart at first but I can't see it working in the long term. I think its just a matter of time until the true plate bump into her or she recontacts him to gloat or ridicule him. People are generally fickle like that and aren't mature enough to cut people out of their lives 100%.

 

[mothballs]

Sure it's fair. But it'd also be fair if that dude found out and beats down your bro.

Yup... the other guy would be an idiot for not trying to figure out what happened. She may not have told the other guy yet though... so the OP's brother may still have a beat down coming. And if that happens, rest assured the girl is done with him too. Risky move that might make her his, but I wouldn't want to base a relationship on dishonesty personally.

 

[Hughman]

He got lucky - it could have easily backfired on him. Plus it isn't very gentlemanly - he should have confronted the other dude, and settled it (and no, that doesn't mean fighting physically for her).

I personally wouldn't have done what he did, but I like to think I have a chivalrous moral code. Not that I wouldn't have plates, but i don't plan on deceiving anyone if I'm asked to be exclusive or if I'm seeing other women.

(cue flaming on whether girls [who very few have any sense of honour] find a moral/honourable man attractive or not)

 

[Kevin Feng]

This isn't really that pick up related, this is more relationship related.

I mean, technically, he's got nothing on her since they weren't official, if they're not official, then it wouldn't be fair to hold anything against her.

Now for her to be banging two guys at once, personally I'd consider that pretty slutty, but then again, I have pretty rigid standards. Honestly, I'm a pretty conservative PUA, I don't really go all the way with most girls the first night I meet them.

Take my superiors Johnny Wolf and Asian Playboy, they have no qualms at all whatsoever. I remember in Sydney, APB got a bathroom pull and was done and never saw the chick after literally a 15 minute interaction.

Anyway, I don't think it's a decision for you to make, your brother just has to be okay with it, that's all.

-Kevin

 

[DJDamage]

Your brother has gone from being a total pimp to having oneitis with AFC tendencies. There was nothing natural about the way he went about to secure a long term relationship with this girl. Sure he may have destroyed the competition by stealing his identity and defaming his name but she ended up choosing your brother because she was forced (a lack of a better word) to select the remaining bachelor not because she desired too. If it was up to her she would still be riding 2 different d1cks every week and possibly looking for replacement or more.

What do you guy's think, does this fight under the "all is fair in love and war" category?

Nothing is fair about our world and if you can get an edge and get a head (pun not intended ) then all the power to you. However there will be more competition for your brother down the line and I doubt he will be able to keep hanging onto her for very long. He may smile today because he won the battle but he never won the war.

 

[Call it how I see it]

Sorry brah, but to me that is some bull****. Tell your brother to put himself in that kid's shoes, and ask him how furious he'd be if someone else did that to him.

I know I'd be beatin some ass if I found out someone did that to me.

 

[Jazzman19]

As his big brother that is my main concern, that the guy beats the **** out of him if he finds out it was him. He may annoy the hell out of me most of the time, but I don't want to see him hurt. He is 18, so it is not like I can make these choices for him, but it is something I would never do.

DJDamage, what you wrote is EXACTLY what I am concerned about for him dating/relationship wise. Don't know how to really broach the topic with him though, without appearing like I am butting in his life too much. Figured this was an interesting topic though, sure made me think.

 

[DJ Barcardi]

karma?

 

[DJDamage]

DJDamage, what you wrote is EXACTLY what I am concerned about for him dating/relationship wise. Don't know how to really broach the topic with him though, without appearing like I am butting in his life too much. Figured this was an interesting topic though, sure made me think.

Do not interfere with his affairs unless he asks your help.

He is quite happy and content with the decision he made so neither you or I have the business of telling him what's the right path to take. Hell he may even prove everyone wrong and be with this girl for a very long time.

Since I am his older brother he asks me for advice a lot, especially since I was engaged for two years, but lately my love life has been a mess so he hasn't been asking me as much.

I think its time to worry about yourself as opposed to your brother. That's why its often more effective to lead by example then by words.