Allowed cheating

[ArcBound]

"I thought it was men that would like the book," she says, "But in fact it's women, because what it says to women is that if your man cheats on you, he still loves you, and he's probably running about average."
Allowing their men to stray is a concept that's difficult for most women to contemplate.

But Hill says that if a woman takes the time to truly examine her relationship and considers Mother Nature's unerring spell on men's libidos, she might realize that letting her boyfriend or spouse know she's OK with him having sex elsewhere is a logical way to prevent him from doing it in secret.

"I think that cheating men are normal," says Hill. "Monogamous men are heroes. Monogamy does have a place in relationships, but not on the long-term. Men are hard-wired to betray women on the long-term."

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/03/negotiated.infidelity/index.html?hpt=C2

The idea that if you cheat, you can still love someone... what are your opinions?

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

if your man cheats on you, he still loves you.

YES!!

 

[Ease]

When i am completely satisfied i'm less likely to cheat. I do it a lot more actively when i feel the girl acts up.

Having said that, we're men, we're hunters.

 

[Scars]

I've had girlfriends give me PERMISSION to cheat. The only exception is that they have to be prettier than her.

This makes total sense in woman's logic.

I think when men and woman cheat, the two come from completely different sides of the same coin.

When a woman cheats, it's usually acting out of lust and passion. She is losing interest in her boyfriend and with it comes emotional attachment. A woman has sex out of emotions and feelings. They are emotional creatures.

When a man cheats, it's simply out of lust. His body is hardwired to sleep with as many partners as he possibly can to make sure his seed lives on. It's usually mostly all physical with very little emotion involved.

I've had this conversation with woman before, and most of them call me sexist for it. But I think it's entirely forgivable for a man to cheat, but not so much for a woman. With a man, it's strictly physical. He can blow his load and be on his way. A woman on the other hand develops emotions, and chances are she has been straying her feelings away long before the cheating event occurs.

I'm glad some woman are starting to realize this. I think in order for long term relationships to last we must realize that infidelity can and WILL happen. Our biological makeup does not let us get around it.

 

[Kailex]

If it's allowed, doesn't that mean it's technically not "cheating" anymore? I'm pretty sure that's the whole meaning behind the word, the fact that it's not allowed.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

'Negotiated infidelity'. Haha, love it!

Hill, who was 39 at the time, posted an ad online announcing her search for a sugar daddy, someone who would pay her $1,000 a week in exchange for her company, cooking, conversation, massages and, when they desired it, sex. She says the ad attracted 11,000 responses.

11000 rich AFC'S?

At the time, Hill says she saw a distinct difference between what she was doing and prostitution.

Chuckle, either way the man pays.

"Men need to get their rocks off," says Hill. "If a woman crosses her legs for any length of time and doesn't arrange some sort of alternative for her man, he is going to cheat on her."

Very true a lot of the time.

A friend of mine goes by this motto, 'Men want sex. Women want sex. Maybe it would be more honest and beneficial if we were all open about having anyone we want'.

Religion's 2000yr rules (to stop sultan's 'wives' straying) has really messed up society. I wonder what it was like in caveman days before silly notions like that corrupted us.

Oh, hello by the way, very long time lurker.

 

[horaholic]

Women a hard wired to bang the big strong manly apes too, even when in a relationship. Should we just 'let' them cheat as well?

 

[playerette]

As long as she can cheat too!!! My opinion is don't do it if your married, but in a relationship, whatever floats your boat.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

As long as she can cheat too!!! My opinion is don't do it if your married, but in a relationship, whatever floats your boat.

What floats you're boat, tiger?

 

[playerette]

oh you know...

 

[The Mad Ghost]

oh you know...

If I did, I wouldn't have to ask would I scrumptious?

 

[vatoloco]

"I think that cheating men are normal," says Hill. "Monogamous men are heroes. Monogamy does have a place in relationships, but not on the long-term. Men are hard-wired to betray women on the long-term."

The problem I have with this is that they're only telling people half-truths.

Women, even if they give you this so-called "permission" will never forget the fact that their man has been with another woman. It will always be in the back of their minds, regardless of what they say. Eventually resentment will get the better of the relationship. Plus, if they're willing to share their man, that tells me that their self-esteem is not so great. "Well, if he wants to fvck that other girl... I guess it's fine... as long as he doesn't leave me/stop providing for me..."

As to men being "hard-wired to betray," I'm not so sure. Those of you keeping score at home have realized that manbashing has become a national sport and this is a good example of it being subtly done. Anyway, I think a better statement would have been "Men are hard-wired to have sex with many women." Sure, even when I'm in a LTR, I would like to fvck as many attractive women as I could. However, discipline and self-control are also part of who I am. I would never "betray" a partner who I have made a long-term agreement with.

I'm not a irrational animal looking to copulate with as many females as possible.

I am a man.

 

[CuriousGirl]

I'm glad some woman are starting to realize this. I think in order for long term relationships to last we must realize that infidelity can and WILL happen. Our biological makeup does not let us get around it.

If I was a guy I'd find this pretty insulting.

Our biological make-up also prevents us from flying, so we built planes.

 

[ArcBound]

If it's allowed, doesn't that mean it's technically not "cheating" anymore? I'm pretty sure that's the whole meaning behind the word, the fact that it's not allowed.

True... OK then how about if the question was rephrased as if you are dating one girl and dating another side girl/ fvcking her can you still "love" any of them?

I like what Scars says about how cheating in men is more of lust rather than an emotional connection, because that's usually the conclusion I come to when I theorize about it. However recently I've been put into a position where I actually have lots of chances to cheat. Ironically enough I'm more tempted by the girls that try to give a more emotional connection than the ones that upright want to just fvck me... Also Ease's post above Scar's says

When i am completely satisfied i'm less likely to cheat. I do it a lot more actively when i feel the girl acts up.

which to me seems like its contradicting the fact that its only women who only go on feelings to cheat.

As long as she can cheat too!!! My opinion is don't do it if your married, but in a relationship, whatever floats your boat.

So in your opinion do you think you can date a guy in an open relationship with the both of you seeing other people? If you both agree to it?

Also Scars... I'm really interested in how you pulled something like making your girlfriends cool with "cheating". This girl I'm seeing gets super jealous even if I were dealing with porn or masturbation