Allen Thomasons article smiling at women

Thechamp

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2015
Messages
343
Reaction score
53
I started smiling at girls at work I always smile but direct contact and these girls are coustmers, now instead of coming in once a day there coming in twice coincidence? Maybe I’ll keep trying it any way
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,105
Reaction score
4,716
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Smiling can enhance or make you more approachable if your SMV is already high to begin with. If you have a low SMV, no SMV, or too DLV, then a smile will just look weak, or that used car salesperson smile.

My own experience, in many non-verbal encounters with women, a smile makes them look away from me very fast. It almost feels like an instant non-verbal rejection. I don't like feeling allot of non-verbal rejections in public when I'm going through my day to day routine. I don't need to be reminded that I'm a non-Chad or ethnicel or whatever, so I'm probably going to smile less or not at all at most women unless I'm in a mode that I want to increase my emotional exposure out there at large in that type of way. I have no need to want to smile at men. The only girls that may smile back tend to be too young or in High School and I'm not after jail-bait.
I think it’s better to rock the serious expression for any guy less than Chadlite.

I’ve smiled at women I knew (who happened to be above my looks league) as purely a friendly/warm gesture. I knew the score and HONESTLY was NOT flirting with them. I had no agenda. Nevertheless, they got quite offended and scowled at me back.

Rather than play the “Am I allowed to smile at her?” game, I actually don’t smile at women at all these days.

I only smile briefly at guy friends, guy acquaintances and guy coworkers when I greet them because they know how to take it. (They know I’m straight, and it means nothing. Just friendliness and they get that.)
 
Last edited:

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,750
Reaction score
3,720
I think it’s better to rock the serious expression for any guy less than Chadlite.

I’ve smiled at women I knew (who happened to be above my looks league) as purely a friendly/warm gesture. I knew the score and HONESTLY was NOT flirting with them. I had no agenda. Nevertheless, they got quite offended and scowled at me back.

Rather than play the “Am I allowed to smile at her?” game, I actually don’t smile at women at all these days.

I only smile briefly at guy friends, guy acquaintances and guy coworkers when I greet them because they know how to take it. (They know I’m straight, and it means nothing. Just friendliness and they get that.)
I'm not sure to what extent that a random smile to a lady may be intrusive to her at the moment and she may be flinching. A forced smile could also sub-communicate nervousness and fear, she picks it up, and starts flinching. I also can flinch too when a woman is passing by because I don't feel a presence of mind or readiness to extend my personal space to her if I'm caught up in my own thoughts. So, some of my formerly alleged non-verbal rejections may really be just flinching rather than non-verbal rejection. If you know the lady and she behaves in a rough manner after you are being friendly to her, then I think the hostility or rejection would be more clear and defined rather than imagined.

Smiling has to be timed in such a way that it appears spontaneous and in the moment, rather than something that is involving conscious thought after you miss a micro-second window of opportunity when a strange lady may be looking out for the smile or connection at the moment and then moves-on mentally with you if she doesn't get it from you at the right time. Once this micro-second thing passes and you smile afterwards it doesn't work at all because she already moved-on. The timing of the smile may make a difference as to whether it feels like a natural spontaneous smile where you are in the moment, or a weak, non-confident and supplicated and approval-seeking smile to compensate for not having the guts for a real smile at the right time at the first micro-opportunity.

Yeah, smiling is something that seems extremely nuanced and has to appear confident and spontaneous to have a desired punch and takes allot guts and balls if done right. If she takes to that smile, then it can become a warm approach, because now you are both in the moment together with her and have established some psycho-social bond with her. If that happens, it's like a strong IOI/AI on her part.
 
Last edited:

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,067
Reaction score
8,912
Yeah, smiling is something that seems extremely nuanced and has to appear confident and spontaneous to have a desired punch and takes allot guts and balls if done right.
As with most things, it sounds like smiling is a more complicated thing for men than for women.
When I smile, it's usually because I'm walking around all day with a stupid grin just because I'm so happy.
Or else if a woman smiles at me first, I will smile back.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
Here goes the thing about celebrities though. If the town and everyone they come across gives them dap, and congratulates them, they'd have a smile and warm and welcoming.

I'm not sure whose going to desire to be near or attracted to tight locked in face like the terminator.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

stovepipe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Messages
978
Reaction score
1,089
Someone who smiles all the time is radiating good vibes. Who doesn't want to be around a happy person? If you're smile is genuine it will attract women for sure. If you and your smile is attractive it will attract more women.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,067
Reaction score
8,912
I'm not sure whose going to desire to be near or attracted to tight locked in face like the terminator.
People like the bad@ss anti-hero type like Wolverine or Batman though.
How often does James Bond smile? Or Clint Eastwood?
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
People like the bad@ss anti-hero type like Wolverine or Batman though.
How often does James Bond smile? Or Clint Eastwood?
But what comes out bonds mouth indicates humor, intelligence and ultimate confidence.
 

17 shots

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2016
Messages
1,112
Reaction score
1,020
It definitely works, it's the best way to flirt, and let them know you're interested. It won't make a girl automatically like you, but if she already finds you attractive, it will amplify things

I perfected mine looking in the mirror, I can do it on command now
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,750
Reaction score
3,720
But what comes out bonds mouth indicates humor, intelligence and ultimate confidence.
That just means good script-writing and delivery of the lines.

I think Michael Fassbender plays two different androids in Aliens:Covenant, David, and Walter, and displays such a contrast with a reserved, quiet, stoic, serious faced persona and a free-spirited happy-vibed android that's smiling but is a psychopath that some actors can play both sides of the coin.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,067
Reaction score
8,912
Look at how often this forum talks about smirking, which is kind of a twisted perversion of a smile. So even PUA advice suggests there are nuances to smiling when it comes to men. Personally I think smirking is obnoxious, but that's just me.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,096
Reaction score
4,852
Age
34
Did any one read this he says if you smile all the time at women not a fake smile just be happy they want to be around you , and it’s like a magic wond any one tested this out yet ?
Its mystery method 101. Its like the first thing suggested whereas most women are plagued by chronic resting ***** face.
 

Alvafe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
3,371
Reaction score
1,580
Age
41
I think the right idea is not a fake smile, also note, woman train on how to take pics, several selfies, you know very well woman figure her best angle and then take pics on that angle, if she can't find more then one angle she will take several pics in the same way, guys? I doubt most if any would spend time trying to figure out our best angle in a pic, so we had less training on how to take a pic, hence why a famous actor smilling would add, he trained enough to he can fake a good smile we don't.

so in the end its all about you being solid and not faking to please others, even less a woman
 

Billtx49

Moderator
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
6,078
Reaction score
5,482
Location
DFW
The ideal smile rests between a full smile and a smirk. A look of bemusement and confidence, but can change with situational awareness …
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,719
Reaction score
6,667
Age
67
Location
The 7th Dimension
Yes, I think of it as a detached, semi-smile. You're not giving it all away, just being friendly. I tried smiling for a while and I thought I looked like a douche bag. Too much giving away of oneself. Mete it out sparingly.
 

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2012
Messages
7,516
Reaction score
5,895
I believe the main point is the kind of smile and the position from which that smile comes.

You just helped someone to fix their flat tire, they thank you and you smile and anwwer "you are welcome".

Someone introduce a girl to you, she doesnt seem so enthusiastic about it and you try to balance it with a big nice smile.

Two different scenario with two different outcomes and results.

I would use an big sincer smile for the first case and just a smirk or better yet a plain face behind a "nice to meet you" with words, so you basically convey that you are a polite well mannered man but she doesnt impress you either nor you care about her feedback.

I'm an average man when it comes of looks, can tell you 100% no doubt that I had much better feedbacks from women either with arrogant loud smiles or plain faces.

Even in my MMA sparring sessions, anytime I have a sparring session with someone I dont know, when I smile I see them being more confident and aggressive while when I'm serious and cold faced they take extra time before engaging the first strikes.

Also when I choke someone after I smiled them, they seems surprised as if they implied I was weaker than them, it never happens when I have a stoic appearance from the beginning.
 

touma.akagi

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 12, 2017
Messages
257
Reaction score
102
Location
-
Just do what's natural. If grinning ear to ear isn't natural or easy for you, don't try.

Same goes for being funny: if you aren't, don't try, and if you are, don't try not to be.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,105
Reaction score
4,716
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Just do what's natural. If grinning ear to ear isn't natural or easy for you, don't try.

Same goes for being funny: if you aren't, don't try, and if you are, don't try not to be.
That’s the bottom line.

I agree with Corrector that smiling (and humor) have some very fine nuances that we can’t even attempt to explain via text.

So, simply put, if it doesn’t come naturally, don’t even try.

I do ok as a chill but serious guy. I’d rather focus on that than try to turn into Mr. Similey.
 

Claudio1975

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 15, 2019
Messages
21
Reaction score
11
Age
49
Kind of reminds me of an email I received from this very website. It said that if you sit close to people they like you more and it is completely non-scientific experiment to prove it. OK.
 
Top