Alcohol & 1st dates

[MikeEdward1973]

So generally, on first date, I suggest meeting up for a drink somewhere, and seeing where it goes.

It's been my assumption that having alcohol involved is a good thing.

This weekend, I'm looking at least one potential date where she suggested we go to a chocolate cafe. Which I'm actually ok with - it's something different, and I dig chocolate a lot.

In any case, generally speaking, how do folks around here feel about 1st dates where there is probably no alcohol involved? For instance, sometimes the girl will suggest we meet up for brunch, coffee, etc. Usually I suggest we meet up at a nice bar.

The reason I ask is that I've been getting a lot of advice here to at least try to kiss on the 1st date, and without some booze involved, I think that makes any sort of intimacy less likely.

 

[joekerr31]

with booze = conversation turns to sex and relationships

without booze = conversation turns to whether it made sense to go in to iraq

 

[wheelin&dealin]

I don't drink any more but when I go out on first dates the girl always ends up drinking and I always make-out with her... it makes things easier when she's a few beers deep.

 

[Aenigma]

I don't drink any more but when I go out on first dates the girl always ends up drinking and I always make-out with her... it makes things easier when she's a few beers deep.

As the phrase goes- romance is nice, but liquor is quicker.

 

[betterthandead]

First kiss on first date? Uh... depends on some personalities. For instance if the girl seemed cautious about me or too offish for me, I'll hold back. This doesn't mean I'm not attracted but I don't feel compelled to.

I'm really attracted to free spirited hippie kinda girls, other men might seem them as flighty or a headache, but to me they are like butter. I spend all day scheming and trying to stay out of trouble and these girls literally free me to become more of myself. A hedonist. When I'm with women that literally are directing me into some action through either passive or directive man.. I just don't feel like myself. Go with the flow dude, if a girl just isn't making your vibe flow naturally where things are being @managed@ this isn't the right woman for you.

The sad thing about what I just said is that most of those free spirited girls hang out in music venues quite often and seem to enjoy dancing...something I'm not into often.

 

[grinder]

Whether or not you will ever kiss her was most likely determined in the first 5 minutes of your first interaction with her.

Escalation is independent of event, time, and situation. Always press until you encounter resistance, gently pull back, brush it off, re-escalate. Repeat as necessary. Results may vary….LOL

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I think I'm the only guy in the forum who doesn't use alcohol to make a woman more comfortable. I hope it isn't some morality BS creeping up on me. I'm scaring myself... :nervous:

 

[amoka]

I think I'm the only guy in the forum who doesn't use alcohol to make a woman more comfortable. I hope it isn't some morality BS creeping up on me. I'm scaring myself... :nervous:

I am with you on this one. Although I occassionally consume alcoholic baverages, using alcohol as mean of getting into a pant of a woman has never crossed my mind. If the woman is interested in you, let let her show it when she is sober. By the same token, if I'm interested in a girl, I want to be sober to carry a meaningful conversation with her. Besides, you don't want her to claim latter on " I would not have slept with you if you had not gotton me drank."

 

[jophil28]

I think I'm the only guy in the forum who doesn't use alcohol to make a woman more comfortable. I hope it isn't some morality BS creeping up on me. I'm scaring myself... :nervous:

I do not drink at all, but I have no objection to the woman having a few (three max) in fact it goes well that way . She gets loose and I steer her where I want her to go with her defenses softened up ... NIce .

 

[RedPill]

Kill the "date" mentality

Get rid of this "date" mentality, and it will be a lot easier to determine whether or not alcohol makes sense.

A date mentality implies there is some sort of agenda that's being adhered to, and nothing shouts contrived and unnatural quite like an official "1st date." Attraction isn't a negotiation or interview process. This might sound like a subtle difference in wording to describe the first time she hangs out with you exclusively, but the less outcome-oriented your event with her is, the more natural the attraction become. A date, by virtue of the premise alone implies one or both parties involved are seeking an objective outcome - evaluate the other person's attractiveness and sex potential. Attraction is chemical and spontaneous, not an evaluation after spending some time together.

So back to alcohol, it's all about the context. If she's getting together with you to go hiking, you wouldn't pack a water bottle full of V, nor would you hang out at a venue of the nightlife and stay dry. Does it make sense in your particular time and setting? You're a man, you be the decider!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I am with you on this one. Although I occassionally consume alcoholic baverages, using alcohol as mean of getting into a pant of a woman has never crossed my mind. If the woman is interested in you, let let her show it when she is sober. By the same token, if I'm interested in a girl, I want to be sober to carry a meaningful conversation with her. Besides, you don't want her to claim latter on " I would not have slept with you if you had not gotton me drank."

Yep, I feel the same way. I rarely drink and don't mind if she does but using alcohol to game just doesn't fit into my sarging, it seems to obstruct my flow. Plus it seems like an unfair advantage if she's a bit tipsy. Actually, drunk women don't seem that attractive to me.

 

[squirrels]

Why not be honest with yourself? You're using the alcohol to loosen YOUR inhibitions as much as hers...it helps your "game".

Take a shot before you go out. I've had "bracers" before dates before. Or...you could learn to work women without the alcohol. Up to you.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

You know there's form of Viagra for women?

It's called Tequila.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Why not be honest with yourself? You're using the alcohol to loosen YOUR inhibitions as much as hers...it helps your "game".

Take a shot before you go out. I've had "bracers" before dates before. Or...you could learn to work women without the alcohol. Up to you.

This is just me, but I get concerned whenever I depend on something external to manage my mindset. How would you keep from becoming dependent on it? What if it's not available, are you predestined to have a bad experience because you couldn't get your buzz on? Even worse, what if you drink too much?

If you're in a grocery store and you see a HB, do you try to down 12 wine coolers to loosen your inhibitions in order to approach her? I know it's an extreme example but for me I'm more comfortable having confidence in my abilities rather than relying on whats in a bottle and having it readily available.

 

[iqqi]

Its funny, I just posted why you should buy a girl a drink, and this post was right underneath it.

Drinking is ALWAYS a good thing when you don't know someone yet!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Not so much that it helps you get into her pants, but that it loosens both of you up so you can be yourselves around each other... I'd rather get to know how a girl really is than what the front she puts up is like.

So you're saying that your natural self is being under the influence of some substance? Scary...

 

[James Bondage]

Yeah, drinking is definitely a good idea as it loosens the two of you up and allows for some more relaxing conversations (among other stuff).

Just don't do what I've done before and drink TOO much as it may be the last time you see her!!

 

[kingwilliam]

I like to have a drink or two simply because it helps relieve any nervousness.

 

[disfunktional]

I prefer to go to bars and pubs on dates, because, well I like going to bars and pubs I like having a drink, and if the woman doesn't, chances are she isn't going to get on with me. Alcohol does losen you both up somewhat.

 

[Miss]

This is sad.