Ahhhhhh!!, ****! Complicated situation

[No Escape]

I met this 28 year old chick at a club last Friday, everything went awesome with her that night, even my friend was saying it looked like she was really into me. Everything went great from that point on, we talked on the phone a couple of times, and finally hung out for the first time on Wed. The day before we hung out she called me to talk, but I was busy and left me an awesome message on my cell about how she was really looking forward to hanging out that upcoming Wed. I called her back the next day on Wed. and we hung out.

So I get to her house, she answers her door, but doesn't even put herself in front of me so I could hug or kiss her. So at that point I'm wondering, what the f**k, that's odd behavior from her, afterall she's been digging me since we met at the club. Anyway, I suggest going to a bar, we go to the bar, we both have a drink and play pool. An hour later, we go back to her place and watch a movie. So I'm laying with her on her bed, start to caress her leg a bit, but no reciprocation from her. Again makes me wonder a little.

Then out of nowhere she throws herself on top of me, but not in a sex position. We start to play around a bit, kiss, I start sucking her neck, biting her neck, biting her ears, and sucking on the upper part of her breasts(she was wearing a low cut top revealing her breasts). She starts kissing me, biting/licking my chest, sucking on my neck, and eventually we start dry humping.

So, after we'd been dry humping for a while, I try to take her shirt off, and she says "no". So I'm like "you wouldn't let me take your shirt off, are you not into me?". So we get into a conversation about that and she's like "well, I'm definitely attracted to you physically, but right now I'm not attracted to you mentally or emotionally". She's like "maybe I'll be into you emotionally/mentally by the second date, or it might take 5 weeks, I don't know". So I'm saying to myself if at this point this woman tells me she's not into me on an emotional/mental level on the first date, then she more than likely won't ever be into me like that. So we have that discussion, and I pretty much tell her I'm not buying it, not in a confrontational way of course, the whole time I was relaxed and cool about it, and acted nonchalant. When i left her house that night, I told her to call me, to which she didn't say anything. It's now Friday, I haven't called her nor has she called me. Any feedback here would be very helpful, because I'm wondering what I should do about her. I spoke to two of my buddies(both experienced guys) about this and both of them say I should call her, but both have different reasons as to why I should call her and have a different outlook on the situation. What do you guys think? I'm looking for advice from those who know what the heck they're talking about. If I were giving advice to someone in this situation, I'd say NEXT her, she's a waste of time, because if she has no emotional/mental connection NOW, she most likely never will, game over. And by the way, I've DJed my whole way along with this chick since I met her last week; been negging her, been confident, have taken charge, been ****y/funny, playful, flirtacious, haven't been afraid to be sexual, charismatic, good conversations, witty, etc. etc. So I don't know what I might've done wrong. Maybe I did f**k up somewhere, I just don't know where, if I even did. And by the way, this chick is f**kin' slammin'! A hot 28 year old.

 

[joekerr31]

it was a sh*t test and you failed.

any chic that takes you back to her place nad is laying on her bed with you is ready to go. OR, as in this case, is toying with you the way a cat toys with a mouse.

the wrong thing to do is what you did. engage her in a conversation about why she doesn't want to f*ck.

the options you had on your table are:

1) keep the conversation emotionally driven. ie. no analysis of why this or that is going on. so something like "baby, your got me going. come over here so i can get you going.". ultimately she just wants to know that you are ok with her being a wh*re - and if shes doing this with you on your first or second date, she isn't the highest quality woman. the moment you get all 'lets talk about why' she KNOWS that there is no way out of coming to the conclusion that shes behaving like a wh*re. this is why she flipped it the other way and started going on about how she needs to get to know you more - ie. playing the "good" girl routine.

2) you could have gotten up and left. and when she protested and asked you to stay and watch the movie, you could hit her with "no offense, but you got me all worked up and now you just want to chill, that's not cool. i'll give you a call in a few days - maybe."

OR, you could do what i would do (although i dont suggest it, as i think these kinds of things work for me because of the groundwork i lay with a woman prior to). it's basically a "oh you dirty *****" and "you just lost a great guy" move.

3) I would have gotten up and gotten ready to leave. she would have gotten a little upset that i was reacting that way. then i'd look at her and say.. "Julie, look, i understand, so don't sweat it at all. but you know, i have to give you some advice here. im a good guy, so you got nothing to worry about, but you have to be careful about bringing a guy back to your bedroom, getting him all worked up, and slamming no the breaks. I mean, i'm ok with that. Im here because I'm really in to you and thought we had a tremendous spark. but if you aren't feeling that way, then what your doing is risky behavior. im a good guy so you have no worries, but there are some pretty sick people out there in the world. and with some guys this kind of situation could get really messed up really fast. so listen, i'm just going to head home and chill. thanks for drink and pool."

generally what happens in that situation is that you've pointed out her sh*t test, pointed out how f*cking stupid it is AND pointed out that you are reacting to it with maturity and are still being a stand up guy and thinking about her interests. if you can pull it off without being insincere 9.9 times out of 10 she will beg you to stay and watch the movie with her and will apologize as well. at which point you just watch the movie, head home, and next day forward she'll be laying you whenever you want.

but, given that you failed the sh*t test, i'd just move on from this one as a learning experience.

oh one other thing. and a lot of guys here will disagree with me, but so be it. women NEED to know that you are a decent guy. a lot of guys are good at raising IL, but poor at developing trust. and trust is essential to getting in a woman's pants that you haven't known for very long. she needs to feel like she KNOWS who you are.

remember, she's worried about sh*t like what if during sex you get to rough, or you want to screw her in the *ss, etc. she needs to at least feel comfortable that she can say NO to something without worrying that you'll turn psycho man on her. which is why my response above tends to work - because it shows that even in the face of ultimately frustration you are still able to be a protector. its the most manly quality you can exhibit, that of being the protector.

anyway, she was definitely toying with you like a cat does a mouse. and you didn't handle it horribly, you just didn't get into her pants.

calling her back up and acting like it was all no big deal should be fine. i say toss her though, but thats only because i also believe that when you fail the 'first' sh*t test a woman throws at you it always leaves a lasting impression in her mind that down the road makes her a pain in the *ss to deal with.

if you CRUSH teh first sh*t test a woman throws at you, you can make mistake after mistake after that and it won't hurt you to badly. because in her mind she will always remember the first time she messed with you and how you flip the tables on her completely. if from the beginning she sees you as an alpha male it takes a lot of screw up to destroy that first impression.

 

[grinder]

As jokerr31 says, sh*t test(s). Yep, plural, 2 of ‘em. The odd/cold greeting at the door, and, of course the flake-out in the bed.

Hindsight being 20/20 you could/should have called her on the cold greeting. But that’s just nitpicking. Truth is this girl seems to have some issues/barriers/is not ready for intimacy and you were not going to change it that night.

Could it be she’s just not experience at sex at all and is just afraid? That would explain her, basically not having a clue what to do in the bed. I mean, sh*t, you in the damn bed, you are escalating, she does nothing, then she jumps on top of you.

You did not say how you got into the bedroom. Ideally you want a fairly long run-up of foreplay before you cross the threshold of the bedroom. You want the clothes to be coming off BEFORE you even get to the bedroom. You want to go to the bedroom because you already started fvcking on the couch and its too uncomfortable there (depends on you).

If you walk into the bedroom without her being hot its not going to feel spontaneous to her.

I don’t think its AFC to call her as long as you are in control. Are you in control?

The obvious: this one’s gonna be some work, you up for that? Sure hope you have a backup girl/other options, or she’ll drive you nuts.

 

[afrojiggles]

man u ****ed up big time when u pulled back from caressing her u should have employed various techiniques, patterns to get her sensually active mentally witht he aid of kino then fromt here its home stretch..so go re-read the sex patterns and head back and keep me posted, okay?

 

[No Escape]

As jokerr31 says, sh*t test(s). Yep, plural, 2 of ‘em. The odd/cold greeting at the door, and, of course the flake-out in the bed.

Hindsight being 20/20 you could/should have called her on the cold greeting. But that’s just nitpicking. Truth is this girl seems to have some issues/barriers/is not ready for intimacy and you were not going to change it that night.

Could it be she’s just not experience at sex at all and is just afraid? That would explain her, basically not having a clue what to do in the bed. I mean, sh*t, you in the damn bed, you are escalating, she does nothing, then she jumps on top of you.

You did not say how you got into the bedroom. Ideally you want a fairly long run-up of foreplay before you cross the threshold of the bedroom. You want the clothes to be coming off BEFORE you even get to the bedroom. You want to go to the bedroom because you already started fvcking on the couch and its too uncomfortable there (depends on you).

If you walk into the bedroom without her being hot its not going to feel spontaneous to her.

I don’t think its AFC to call her as long as you are in control. Are you in control?

The obvious: this one’s gonna be some work, you up for that? Sure hope you have a backup girl/other options, or she’ll drive you nuts.

Well I'm not sure if we already had it planned that we were going to go back to her house to watch a movie that night. I remember we had talked about watching a movie earlier in the week, but it was still up in the air I think. On Wed. before we got together, when I called her that night, I definitely suggested going to a bar, but I'm not sure if I said anything about watching a movie. Anyway, all I know is, while at the bar, she suggested going back to her place to watch a movie, and when we got to her house, I followed her to her room.

 

[FM 3321]

and she says "no". So I'm like "you wouldn't let me take your shirt off, are you not into me?". So we get into a conversation

That's where you failed bro. That's where alot of us men fail.

 

[MacAvoy]

the whole time I was reading it I was like, yes ... you did everything right but it was a sh1t test ... and you failed...

so I won't elaborate as I'm sure whatever else Joeker said after it was a sh1t test was probably on the mark as he called the sh1t test as well.

 

[No Escape]

I could further elaborate on the course of the night. Reason I didn't at the start of my post was because I didn't want to write too much, make it complicated, drag on, and confuse anyone. At the bar while we're playing pool, she's hardly locking eyes with me. At one point I go to kiss her, she's see's me coming in for the kiss, but doesn't even pick her head up like she wants to kiss back. So I had to bend down a little to get in there and kiss her. After kissing her I'm like "gotcha". Yeah, it was kind of a project.

And after the big conversation topic about how she didn't wanna sleep with me, I suggested we continued doing what we were previously doing(all the heavy petting, dry humping, kissing, sucking, biting that I mentioned) before we got into that conversation. When I suggested we get into it again(bad move, I know, but I didn't care, I didn't want to go home not knowing if she was feeling me or not) , she was like "I'd rather tallk right now". So, we talk for a bit, then i suggest getting on top of her(again, I know, bad move on my part, but I had to know and validate if she was into me cause it was gonna drive me crazy. I would've rather risked being seen as an AFC, I didn't give a sh*t, cause I would've rather gone home knowing if she was feelin' me or not), and she doesn't respond. So I say it again, and she's like "ok". So, I get on top of her and I'm like "Do you want me to be on top of you?, because I had to ask you twice" She responds favorably. So, I lay on top of her kissing her, a few minutes go by, and then I tell her I'm gonna start grinding her again, cause we were in this converstion and she was telling me how much she loves to feel a hard c*ck against her, how she's always loved it when she's making out with guys and she feels it against her). So anyway, I said something like "you're gonna feel my hard c*ck right now"...so, she's like "no". So I got off her and was cool about it. So, I just layed back on her bed and continued watching the movie with her. It was about 11:30pm, she starts yawning a couple of times. After like the 3rd yawn, I'm like "I'm gonna get going", and she's like "ok". So, I get out of her bed, put my shirt and pants on(yeah, I was doing the heavy petting and all the other stuff with her with her in my boxers...reason I was in my boxers was because we agreed she could dress me up in one of her dresses as a joke, I said JOKE fellas, lol, figured I'd add some humor to the night). So I put my clothes on, and when I'm finished she say's "why don't you stay for a bit", so I don't say anything, but end up hanging around for a bit. As i'm hanging with her, she say's she should get whipped cream or something from downstairs to put on her toes for me to suck, but I ignore it and don't say anything, but she never followed through with it. I still don't say anything. So we just hang there for a little while and finally I bail. She walks me downstairs, and as I leave, I tell her to call me, to which like I said she said nothing. We kiss goodbye(on lips), and that's how the night ends.

One other thing she tells me after our conversation about her not wanting to have sex, is that "I'm jaded". I confidently, calmly tell her, "no I'm not".

And one other thing she tells me also after the 'no sex conversation'. She's like "we're 2 different people", then after about 10 seconds or so after that she's like "I can't believe you think I'm lying".

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

Dude - this situation isn't complicated at all. She's not into you. It's pretty simple actually. Move on and maybe her IL will raise a bit.

 

[Mustache]

Dude - this situation isn't complicated at all. She's not into you. It's pretty simple actually. Move on and maybe her IL will raise a bit.

yes

Dont blame your self !!

I've met many women, and one of them (19yo) didnt want sext

The next girl I met (26yo), sex happend

I am 40

Mustache

 

[Desdinova]

I try to take her shirt off, and she says "no". So I'm like "you wouldn't let me take your shirt off, are you not into me?". So we get into a conversation about that

You hit the anti-slvt defense. That usually happens with women who you haven't been dating for a long period of time. When a woman finds herself attracted to a man, she will follow her emotions. Unfortunately, her logic will kick in once in a while like it did here, telling her that she's ready to sleep with a guy who she doesn't know, and she's portraying herself as a slvt. That's when she completely puts a stop to the fun and excitement and makes it her goal to ruin the moment.

NEVER converse with the woman about what just happened. Just play into it. In fact, play into it better than she is and turn the tables around before she gets a chance to. Let her know that maybe the two of you are moving too fast, and maybe it would be a good idea for you to go home. What you're doing is causing her to feel an emotion that's different from feeling like a slvt. You're taking the prize away! Deep down, she doesn't want that! It's very likely that she'll try and convince you to stay. But deep down she's loving every minute of the chase and the challenge. It's drama, and it's exciting!

Everytime you hit this roadblock, pull away (and not in the same fashion every time - threaten to go into another room to watch TV, get a drink of water, anything. If she doesn't stop you, go through with it). Also, act like it's not a big deal. When you pull away, she'll want you back. It's amazing how they'll start it all back up again after they've stopped it. A little bit of patience will pay off.

As for this woman, feel free to try dating her again. A lot of times, one mistake won't completely kill your chances. However, if you find yourself getting nowhere with her, then move on.

 

[Jay Jay]

She sounds like an (occasional) FB of mine. One moment cold, the next hot, jumps on top of me and then pulls back when I start escalating.

The first time I went home with her she invited me. When we get in bed and I start doing **** and she's like, "I just met you, can we cuddle?" I was so pissed I had no movement down stairs so I was like "ahhhh allllllll riiiiiight... *burp*" And then she starts kissing me!

Next weekend she comes over, we have dinner, I pick her up throw her on the bed and ravage her. She's like "**** yeah!"

The next time I see her she's all cold and like "we have no connection." I'm like "no ****!" We go our seperate ways. Get a text the next day "sorry, can we get together soon."

I try and organise another meet up for a few weeks then give up. She calls me and makes a date, emails me on the day of the date to see if we can get together earlier coz she having dinner with another guy a bit later. I call her and am like, "if you wanna have dinner with this guy then you should just do that." She's like, "he's just a mate. I can cancel." I'm like, "don't worry, I've already made other plans." She's like "RAGH!" And hangs up on me.

The next night she turns up at the pub I am regularly at, flirts with my friend, doesn;t say word to me. After an hour of this she's like "See yas later, to my friends. I say, "hold on, I just wanna have a chat beofre you go." We go to the front the pub and before I have a chance to tell her that her games are unacceptable she grabs me and starts kissing the **** out of me and tried to pull my **** out of my pants there in the pub. We go home and have crazy sex.

And so on.

In all of this I never ever lose my cool. I'm just like, "yeah whatever baby." Inside I actually enjoy it. I probably would ditched her altogether a long time ago but I always wonder what is going to happen next. When she flakes on me or gets me all hot then goes "not now." I laugh my arse off inside and am like "you got me today b*tch! Good work!"

Since all that I have met some of her freinds. They tell me he's is a total man eater. She says to me, "I just don't understand you at all." I think thats because she never gets to me.

Some chicks are crazy! As long as you don't get sucked out of your reality its fine.

This girl sounds like one of those. I wouldn't give up.

Just keep playing it cool. Accept she won't be a long term prospect and definately NOT GF material.

Wow, I am about to admit something that will expose my "you gotta love and respect women" as a bit of a joke.

Use her as a training tool. God, I cannot believe I said that. Her behaviour has earned it. Practice different things on her. You'll learn a lot about women I'd say.

JJ

 

[No Escape]

UPDATE: Yep, Joekerr31, Grinder, I think you both called it....

This is what's transpired with her in the past two and a half weeks. After that first night that I posted about, I figured I'd give it another shot with her...so, we hang out last Tuesday(which would've been 3/13). We go to the pizzeria. While we're there, only I eat, she doesn't. So, at the pizzeria, she say's "we can go to a bar after this or go back to my house". While she say's this I'm in the middle of saying something to her(kinda talking to each other at the same time deal). I didn't wanna say anything because I didn't wanna appear to anxious, cause it would've looked AFC to pause right there as I was in the middle of saying something right after hearing her throw in going back to her place as an option. Hope you guys are following me, as it's hard to explain what i'm trying to say and may be open to different interpretation. Anyway, when we leave, I'm like, "so we'll head to the bar".

Anyway, we get to the bar and I buy us both a beer. I figured she would've offered to get me a beer that night, but she doesn't. First night we ever hung out, I bought her a beer, so I figured maybe this time she could offer. I've always been used to chicks buying me drinks, or if not, at least offering. Not only with drinks, but other things as well. Anyway, I was a little ticked off how this second time hanging with her, she didn't offer. At one point, I half seriously/jokingly said to her "Wanna buy me a drink?", and she's like "What's in it for me?"..so I'm like "Nothing". Nothing happened though, she never bought me a beer. Then maybe 5 or 10 minutes later, I'm like, "I bought you a beer, that's what's in it for you". Still, she doesn't offer to buy me a beer. Yeah, when she said "what's in it for me?", I could've said "this"(and kissed her on the lips), but I didn't think of it at the time, as I was in shock mode. I also probably went wrong when I brought it back up 5-10 minutes later and said "I bought you a beer, that's what's in it for you". Whatever. Anyway, I was just ticked a bit.

So, we end up leaving the bar after about an hour and a half. The whole time at the bar, she never invites me back to her place. I drop her off, we kiss goodbye(very short makeout), and she's like "call me". I don't say anything after she say's that. Then she's like "If you want to, you don't have to if you don't want". So I'm like, I'll call you. 15 minutes later, I get back home and she calls me to tell me she couldn't find her essay(I asked her if she could look for this essay because she had previously a few yrs earlier done the same essay that I had to do for one of my classes.) I don't pick up, she leaves me a message saying that she could't find it. I never call her back about it. So, she calls me 2 days later(didn't answer it cause I was in class at the time), and leaves me a playful message joking about this inside flirtacious joke we both have going, and at the end of the message, she's like "I wanted to ask you a question". Now I'm thinking to myself, fukk it, I'm not calling back, cause I was thinking she was calling about her gloves since she had left them in my car. So I never call her back.

So, Saturday rolls around, and I see her with her male "friend", definitely only a "friend"(I can tell by the way they were interacting). They were both at this club that I frequent a lot. I walk in with my buddy, but pretend not to see her. I know she see's me. About 15-20 minutes later, I feel a tap on my shoulder. She's like "You're an a**hole, you never called me back". She was serious too. So, I'm like "I was busy, what was your question?" So she's like "Nevermind, it's not important anymore". I don't say anything back, I just say to myself whatever. The rest of the night we don't talk at all, she passes me once but doesn't look my way or say anything. Neither do I. She leaves about an hour and 15 minutes later. Doesn't say goodbye or anything(like i could give a sh*t). THE NEXT day she calls me, but I don't answer. She doesn't leave a message. She calls me back again a little later. Again, I don't answer. This time she leaves a message. In the message she's like "I wanted to apologize for calling you an a**hole last night, it was uncalled for, I'm sorry..I know I'll probably see you at shows(concerts) in the future and I don't want it to be weird if we see each other...I actually did want to ask you something. I'll see you around". Not her exact words, but very close to it, that's basically what she said.

So, I call her back a day later, tell her it's all cool, that it was petty sh*t about the incident at the club. She ask's me why I didn't talk to her at the club, and I tell her because she called me an a**hole and got all bent out of shape because I didn't call her back. Then during the conversation she's like "did you see my outfit I was wearing?" I was like "no, I don't remember", to which she gets offended. We talk on the phone for a good hour and a half. The conversation goes well, except for her bringng up her ex-boyfriend at one point and a guy she used to date, how he was from Germany and would talk "dirty" to her in German. I play it cool as she does this. I don't feed into the conversation nor do I show her it bothers me. I cut the conversation after an hour and a half, and make plans to hang with her on Wed.(today 3/21).

So, we hang out tonight for the third time(and LAST time). We go to the bookstore, cause i wanted to check out some CD's, then we head to the movies to see '300'. During the movie, she's like "I wanna date a Spartan". I respond, play it cool, and say "Spartans are cool". Before I ramble about the night, let me just say one thing about this chick. EVERY TIME we've hung out so far, I've always had to initiate everything..everything from the kissing, to the handholding, to putting my arm around her, etc. She has been a cold fish from the very first night we ever hung out. In all my years of dating women, I've NEVER run into this problem, a COLD FISH. If I grab her hand, put my arm around her, or kiss her, she'll do the same back, but she'll NEVER initiate it. Never had this problem before. Any insight to this?? Tonight I initiated nothing, except at the start of the night, when I kissed her hello.

So, tonight I made her come by me(fukk that, I wasn't wasting my time going by her). We took my car to the bookstore and the movies. After the movie, we got back to my place, got out of my car, and I was like, "So what are you up to?" She's like "I'm just going to go home and watch TV". I'm like "cool", something like that. I'm like "I'll talk to you during the week", but of course that was bullsh*t, cause she's done, finished, gone, or the infamous NEXT --->

If I were to conclude this whole situation with this chick, the first thing that would pop into my mind is ATTENTION WH*RE. A woman who has no interest in me sexually/emotionally/mentally, but wants to keep me around for selfish reasons--ATTENTION! Attention wh*res are selfish. They will victimize and feign interest in men for their own ego's, not giving a sh*t or having any regards for what they put the guy through or how they inconvenience him. This was my third time hanging out with her, and this will be the last(a big bulk of that having to do with not banging her yet), unless anyone with experience can convince me otherwise and give me a good enough reason to keep her around, which I absolutely doubt.

 

[thickandcreamy]

Hey man, you hit a classic case of last minute resistance. Mystery covers this in his Mystery Method. Check it out. I don't feel like summarizing it again for the millionth time.

Thick

 

[ValleyDJing]

it was a sh*t test and you failed.

any chic that takes you back to her place nad is laying on her bed with you is ready to go. OR, as in this case, is toying with you the way a cat toys with a mouse.

the wrong thing to do is what you did. engage her in a conversation about why she doesn't want to f*ck.

the options you had on your table are:

1) keep the conversation emotionally driven. ie. no analysis of why this or that is going on. so something like "baby, your got me going. come over here so i can get you going.". ultimately she just wants to know that you are ok with her being a wh*re - and if shes doing this with you on your first or second date, she isn't the highest quality woman. the moment you get all 'lets talk about why' she KNOWS that there is no way out of coming to the conclusion that shes behaving like a wh*re. this is why she flipped it the other way and started going on about how she needs to get to know you more - ie. playing the "good" girl routine.

2) you could have gotten up and left. and when she protested and asked you to stay and watch the movie, you could hit her with "no offense, but you got me all worked up and now you just want to chill, that's not cool. i'll give you a call in a few days - maybe."

OR, you could do what i would do (although i dont suggest it, as i think these kinds of things work for me because of the groundwork i lay with a woman prior to). it's basically a "oh you dirty *****" and "you just lost a great guy" move.

3) I would have gotten up and gotten ready to leave. she would have gotten a little upset that i was reacting that way. then i'd look at her and say.. "Julie, look, i understand, so don't sweat it at all. but you know, i have to give you some advice here. im a good guy, so you got nothing to worry about, but you have to be careful about bringing a guy back to your bedroom, getting him all worked up, and slamming no the breaks. I mean, i'm ok with that. Im here because I'm really in to you and thought we had a tremendous spark. but if you aren't feeling that way, then what your doing is risky behavior. im a good guy so you have no worries, but there are some pretty sick people out there in the world. and with some guys this kind of situation could get really messed up really fast. so listen, i'm just going to head home and chill. thanks for drink and pool."

generally what happens in that situation is that you've pointed out her sh*t test, pointed out how f*cking stupid it is AND pointed out that you are reacting to it with maturity and are still being a stand up guy and thinking about her interests. if you can pull it off without being insincere 9.9 times out of 10 she will beg you to stay and watch the movie with her and will apologize as well. at which point you just watch the movie, head home, and next day forward she'll be laying you whenever you want.

but, given that you failed the sh*t test, i'd just move on from this one as a learning experience.

oh one other thing. and a lot of guys here will disagree with me, but so be it. women NEED to know that you are a decent guy. a lot of guys are good at raising IL, but poor at developing trust. and trust is essential to getting in a woman's pants that you haven't known for very long. she needs to feel like she KNOWS who you are.

remember, she's worried about sh*t like what if during sex you get to rough, or you want to screw her in the *ss, etc. she needs to at least feel comfortable that she can say NO to something without worrying that you'll turn psycho man on her. which is why my response above tends to work - because it shows that even in the face of ultimately frustration you are still able to be a protector. its the most manly quality you can exhibit, that of being the protector.

anyway, she was definitely toying with you like a cat does a mouse. and you didn't handle it horribly, you just didn't get into her pants.

calling her back up and acting like it was all no big deal should be fine. i say toss her though, but thats only because i also believe that when you fail the 'first' sh*t test a woman throws at you it always leaves a lasting impression in her mind that down the road makes her a pain in the *ss to deal with.

if you CRUSH teh first sh*t test a woman throws at you, you can make mistake after mistake after that and it won't hurt you to badly. because in her mind she will always remember the first time she messed with you and how you flip the tables on her completely. if from the beginning she sees you as an alpha male it takes a lot of screw up to destroy that first impression.

Joekerr...^^^One of the bests posts I've read on this site in a loooonnngg time. The only thing I had a little beef with was that whole bit on you telling her about guys that would wanna take advantage of her or wouldn't be able to control themselves. You were able to pull that off?!