ahhh fvck. japanese gf pregnant 2 months before I leave

[powpow]

I am gonna keep this short.

I live in Japan now. I am leaving in 2 months to go to grad school back in the states. I just found out now my gf is pregnant.

I am definitely going to grad school. I can come back to Japan during the breaks, but other than that, it is a 4 year doctorate program, and its something that I am dedicated to doing. My current degree, I cant use in Japan. My phd, I can use in Japan and make about the equivalent of more than 6 figures a year and have a good life here.

So I have been thinking about my options. Honestly, although shes my girlfriend, she doesnt know **** about my past. Basically, what I am saying, is if I had no soul, I could just leave and know that my genetics have entered the japanese country.

Ive also considered trying to get one of the guys I was in competition with during the wooing stages to take over and try to win her back, I would forfeit, and he would be a chump and raise my child.

She absolutely can not move to the states, because she has a 6 figure job over here, and doesnt speak english.

I am absolutely against abortion.

Adoption?

Also, how to deal with the parents (whom I have not met, and also are against the idea of intermarriage of gaijin and japanese. old school).

AAAAAhhhhh fvck... what would you do?

 

[SharinganUser]

Wow sorry to hear about that. What ever you do, don't do anything rash. This is really serious and you should take the next couple of months to think about what to do and talk it over with her.

 

[FairShake]

She absolutely can not move to the states, because she has a 6 figure job over here, and doesnt speak english.

I am absolutely against abortion.

Adoption?

Perhaps I'm the cold one here but I don't see the problem. If she has a 6 figure job she doesn't need you! Leave as planned and try to work out a deal where you can take care of your financial responsibilities to your child. It appears you don't particularly give a sh!t about the woman or child so I would think it would be an easy call.

And it's not really your call if she gets and abortion or an adoption. You can't tell a woman about an what to do about an abortion and can't tell a parent what to do about an adoption.

 

[Bible_Belt]

what would you do?

Leave for school, enjoy American girls, and then come back to Japan and make the kid a UFC champion.

 

[Fred_Scuttle]

Looks like you have a big mess on your hands here pow. you should of wrapped your pecker. Hope the unprotected sex was worth it. Hassle it out with the parents I bet they aren't too pleased about this with you and their daughter. They might feel some shame if you two dont get married by having a illegitimate child. See if they will help raise the kid for you until you can be a good father. Don't be a chicken and run out on your girl and child that is on the way and let some other guy take care of it while you come back to the states and carry on your merry way and do what you want to do. You are responsible just as much as she is so stand up and take responsibility for what you did instead of running away like a coward. You should stay in Japan and get a job there and care for your child and be a good father. Life and your plans don't always turn out how you like. You just saw this up close right now. Own up to your mistake and be a man. she was fun to screw but when you screw up, you want to bail.

 

[Fred_Scuttle]

what would you do?

Leave for school, enjoy American girls, and then come back to Japan and make the kid a UFC champion.

another guy who wouldnt take responsibility for his mistake. spoken like a true coward.

 

[KarmaSutra]

This is what happens when small head overrides common sense.

You laid it down, shot the load in her guts, now you have to ante up.

First, be sure the kid is yours. Spring for the dna test to define, proof-positive, that it's your renter hold up in her apartment.

Step 2 will come after you find out. The cost for a dna test is minuscule compared to the hell you'll live if it's not and you choose to look the other way.

Good luck Brother.

 

[KarmaSutra]

another guy who wouldnt take responsibility for his mistake. spoken like a true coward.

Blunt but true.

 

[Credos]

I don't fully agree with fred.

I agree with the part that if it's your kid you should raise it and that a coward runs away from his responsibilities.

However, giving up on your dreams just cause you got a girl pregnant is also cowardly. Be a man and do what you gotta do, but when that's over, also be man enough to take your responsibility over your child.

In all fairness about the condom bullsh*t, I don't fully agree on that aswell, if she says she's taking the pill and she isen't, then it's pretty clear she used him. I might dump her if she lied about that to be honest. (Even though it's almost impossible to check, manipulating men in this sick way should be forbidden by law...)

Whatever you do man, you got a serious situation on your hands, so you gotta think this through

 

[CoolBlue]

just abort it you fool. cut your losses

 

[Matthew Lyon]

Be a man and take care of what you created. Or in other words, act your age.

And by the way... if you don't know what an abortion is:

They take a tube and suck the child through it. Teeth, eyes, ears, nose and all.

It's murder.

 

[Ben7]

You'll regret adoption in 10 years, do what's right and take care of your kid. It's your own blood. Blood is thicker than your paycheck. You have to take responsibility, goodluck.

 

[Iceberg]

This is what happens when small head overrides common sense.

You laid it down, shot the load in her guts, now you have to ante up.

Yeah. I don't want to pile onto the original poster while he's feeling down, but....fu*k....use a condom.

Man, I just turned 30 years old, I've been having sex since I was 18, and I've blown an unprotected load inside a girl ONCE in my entire life. And I don't mean one girl. I mean ONE TIME. Ever. She was on the pill. Other than that, Iceberg's loads are blown into condoms. Trojan spermicidal latex....because I don't trust those other brands.

But regardless of whether the girl is on the pill or not, guys...use the f**kin condom.

I trusted my girlfriends who used the pill, but I trust myself more. And I'm not putting 18 years of child support in the hands of any girl I date.

 

[squirrels]

Yeah. I don't want to pile onto the original poster while he's feeling down, but....fu*k....use a condom.

Man, I just turned 30 years old, I've been having sex since I was 18, and I've blown an unprotected load inside a girl ONCE in my entire life. And I don't mean one girl. I mean ONE TIME. Ever. She was on the pill. Other than that, Iceberg's loads are blown into condoms. Trojan spermicidal latex....because I don't trust those other brands.

But regardless of whether the girl is on the pill or not, guys...use the f**kin condom.

I trusted my girlfriends who used the pill, but I trust myself more. And I'm not putting 18 years of child support in the hands of any girl I date.

I don't have any sympathy for any man who has unprotected sex and then starts complaining about having an "unwanted child". By refusing to rubber up, you are pretty much asking for it.

I'm amazed by people who I would normally consider reasonably intelligent who do not acknowledge this simple fact.

I have one friend...he and his wife swear they don't want kids. Yet the only BC he uses is "pulling out". She isn't even on the pill. It's going to happen, sooner or later. I've explained this to them. They don't care. I've written it off as them wanting kids, but being too scared to commit to it, so they're letting "fate decide".

I have another friend who's been dating this obsessive nutcase that we've been trying to get him away from for about a year now. I mean, obsessive to the point where if he glances at another girl she will flip out. (cheated on by past two husbands...damaged goods, you know the drill) He f*cks her without a condom and relies on her to take her birth-control. I've warned him. He doesn't care...for some reason a little more sensation in the wang is worth playing Russian Roulette with a psycho chick with abandonment issues.

Whatever you SAY you want or don't want is forfeit...if you're "firing live rounds" and not wearing protection, as far as I'm concerned, you've legally abdicated any say you have over having kids.

A man's DNA is his own responsibility. You leave it with her, it's hers to do with as she pleases. There was a court case not too long ago where a woman kept the condom and stuck the semen up inside of her after the guy had left. The court granted the woman child support. So there is precedent.

Women think I'm strange for taking it on myself to flush my own condoms.

 

[squirrels]

Yeah. I don't want to pile onto the original poster while he's feeling down, but....fu*k....use a condom.

Man, I just turned 30 years old, I've been having sex since I was 18, and I've blown an unprotected load inside a girl ONCE in my entire life. And I don't mean one girl. I mean ONE TIME. Ever. She was on the pill. Other than that, Iceberg's loads are blown into condoms. Trojan spermicidal latex....because I don't trust those other brands.

But regardless of whether the girl is on the pill or not, guys...use the f**kin condom.

I trusted my girlfriends who used the pill, but I trust myself more. And I'm not putting 18 years of child support in the hands of any girl I date.

I don't have any sympathy for any man who has unprotected sex and then starts complaining about having an "unwanted child". By refusing to rubber up, you are pretty much asking for it.

I'm amazed by people who I would normally consider reasonably intelligent who do not acknowledge this simple fact.

I have one friend...he and his wife swear they don't want kids. Yet the only BC he uses is "pulling out". She isn't even on the pill. It's going to happen, sooner or later. I've explained this to them. They don't care. I've written it off as them wanting kids, but being too scared to commit to it, so they're letting "fate decide".

I have another friend who's been dating this obsessive nutcase that we've been trying to get him away from for about a year now. I mean, obsessive to the point where if he glances at another girl she will flip out. (cheated on by past two husbands...damaged goods, you know the drill) He f*cks her without a condom and relies on her to take her birth-control. I've warned him. He doesn't care...for some reason a little more sensation in the wang is worth playing Russian Roulette with a psycho chick with abandonment issues.

Whatever you SAY you want or don't want is forfeit...if you're "firing live rounds" and not wearing protection, as far as I'm concerned, you've legally abdicated any say you have over having kids.

A man's DNA is his own responsibility. You leave it with her, it's hers to do with as she pleases. There was a court case not too long ago where a woman kept the condom and stuck the semen up inside of her after the guy had left. The court granted the woman child support. So there is precedent.

Women think I'm strange for taking it on myself to flush my own condoms.

 

[Ben7]

Women think I'm strange for taking it on myself to flush my own condoms.

Get a vasectomy

 

[loveshogun]

Disclaimer for the OP: your post irked me in a way I can't really describe.

Since everyone has already said the obvious - that you should have worn a condom - I'll pick on you about abortion.

If you are -really- against abortion, you've already made your choice.

Although, really, I find it hilariously ironic that you're against abortion but have considered, at least seriously enough to list it as an option, to unload the kid and the girl onto some other guy.

I don't think you really need advice. You've already made all your choices and you seem to just be airing this out. I say good luck from the depths of my empathic response, but to be honest, I can't say I feel that sorry for you, bud. My bad.

 

[Bible_Belt]

re: Leave for school, enjoy American girls, and then come back to Japan and make the kid a UFC champion.

another guy who wouldnt take responsibility for his mistake. spoken like a true coward.

Are you illiterate? I said to come back and help raise the kid after he finishes school.

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

Something to think about here guys!!

Condoms, birth control, jellys, creams

might not always do the job

so if you blow a load in her. you always run the risk of this.

we all love to have sex as much as we can

but you have to consider the risk of getting her pregnant

so if you want to bang her you need to keep in mind of what can happen.

a lot of guys dont and the blame the chick and wimp out of their duties.

a lot of guys slam single moms and treat them like crap

a lot of guys hit the road when she gets a baby belly

some chicks are irresponsible getting pregnant

a lot are not

the guy hits the road like this guy plans to do

the chick has to raise the kid on her own with no help

that is why I dont bash single moms

because you have situations like this.

if you want to bang her and blow your load....dont hit the road

Bible Belt and fairshake gave crap advice. Wants him to bang other chicks and not help the gf. it is his child too he should have to go thru with it with his gf too.

this is your kid dude. dont be a pvssy and hit the road. stick around and help raise the child you made and dont let your gf get stuck doing it on her own cos you helped made it happen.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Seems like this is a series of dichotomous keys:

1. Stay with her and the child or don't.
If you believe that you and she have a reasonable chance of being happy to gether in the long term and making a positive home for the child, then why not stay with her? If you could be happy like that, then why wouldn't you?

2. If you decide not to stay with her: You keep the child or something else happens to the child.
If you will not keep the child, either because of your phd program other otherwise, then something else must happen to the child.

3. If you decide not to keep the child yourself: she keeps the child or does not keep the child.
That has little to do with you, as you've already chosen to abandon her and the child.

If you think you'd create a happy home with a large income and a good wife and child, then why not settle down after your phd program? Nothing wrong with a happy family.