Age - LTR guys and serious playas

[Sart]

This topic has been touched on before, but I notice that stacks of fellas still seek that elusive LTR as if that answers lifes problems. IT REALLY DOESN'T. It creates a lot of problems.

Take the sexiest dudes list...Johnny Depp, Keanu Reeves, Brad Pitt, Geaorge Clooney and the rest. What is a common denominator? They are all over 40 years of age. The greatest DJ's in history are usually older guys...why? They have experience and are usually smoother, know themselves and are on track with themselves.

What am I saying? Casting experts choose these older guys because women are attracted to them. Harrison Ford looked his best in his fifties for Gods sake.

Getting married at 25 to a 23 year old will usually result in a mid life crisis. There are those men, typical men, who will get fat, mow the lawn and accept their fate because they have to. They reflect their lot in life. Off the market, chubby, discontent and ***** whipped. THIS IS THE NORM. They are aware of it deep down, they live lives of quiet desperation.

At the same time, there women will lose their figure, sex will become perfunctory and you will become second when you have a kid, third when you have another kid and so forth down the line.

These people all say they are happily married, they may even believe it, these people are also your parents. Try to get the truth from them, try observation, you will find a bunch of discontent, compromise and "marking time" at the heart of it all.

All I am saying is .....SLOW DOWN...really, dont stampede toward this heavenly bliss mythological shyte that the other sheep rush toward. NOBODY can COMPLETE you.

If you are 21 years old and think you are a real playa I think you are kidding yourself, but at least you are trying. If you are 21 and looking for Miss Right...you are already fukced...just give it up.

There is NO RUSH, an attractive 45 year old man looks better than a 45 year old woman, and he can pull chicks. Women simply are not as hung up on age as we are. You have TIME on your side.

Ask yourself this.....Why did evolution allow ME, a MAN to have prodigy at 70 and not allow women the same privelage. Why?

Slow down and dont be in a rush.

 

[dearsappho]

Im so glad I never married any of my girlfriends from the previous 12 years or so...

i keep this thought with me for EVERY woman I meet so I dont get caught in a ***** trance...

 

[Sart]

how old are you?

Maybe its just me but whenever I read something from somene who wont reveal their age, I click off. I figure you are either 60 and "happily married" lol, or 15 and they have yet to drop.

 

[Sart]

well said

Well said dearsapho, even though you didnt show your age, you eluded to it. lol. You hit it on the head dude, well done. I DID get married and I saw my friends do the same....look deep into their eyes, shyte, its unbelievable, I dont believe I have met even ONE truly happy person amongst them.

Now watch a stack of 20 year old Bible group dorks tell me how happy their Ma and Pa are after 40 years together.

 

[thefonz]

wow, the most uplifting post i've read in weeks, well done sart my brother

 

[No Escape]

There is NO RUSH, an attractive 45 year old man looks better than a 45 year old woman, and he can pull chicks.[/B]

You think? I disagree. I think women in their mid forties, even early 50's are looking phenomonal these days. The MILFS are everywhere, especially here in NY. I've hooked up with two thus far, both great experiences...those MILFs know how to please!

 

[SheepSter]

Great post, slow down and grasp life to it's fullest. Let me share my humble 19 year old view on things.

Women come and go, while friends stay forever. The goal is not to seek true love, but experience life. When the time is right, there will be no doubt, no fear and above all no regrets. The irony is that most people get married because it's the next thing to do. Their life is like a train heading for a destination set by others. I'll say get out the train, and decide your own fate. I consider myself lucky to be borne in the rich part of the world. Chances are I never have to face the true problems. You only live once, so you better enjoy the ride.

 

[Sart]

sheepster

Well said, and not just because you agreed with me, simply, well said. Most of us get married because it is the next logical step. There is no flash of brilliance, no passion to end all passions, just seems like the next step in a three act play. Considering MOST marriages end in divorce, well....

I was speaking with a guru of the marriage councelling service here in Brisbane and he stated something intersting. Nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce, BUT, as he said, that INCLUDES the boomers and older. If you segregate the 28 to 30 and under, the stats are right up there. Average marriage lasts 3 years. What does that tell you? These poor hapless fools didnt stand at the alter planning a divorce in 3 years time, it just happens that way.

Marriage is about "locking in" your devotion to one person. WHY? Itis about property and caring for your children. Cavemen did not get married, early rural settlors didnt either. If you have kids you should be responsible for them until the day you die, you OWE it to them. However, saying to someone that you will be in love and on the same page with them for the next 50-60 years? HOW? Are you simply going to stop evolving and changing?

I am all for love but why we complicate it with marriage is even beyond me. I will always love my kids and will always love their Mother, but I am not passionate about it anymore and we have very little in common after 12 years together. So what do you do? Stay in a loveless marriage until death or dismemberment do you part? OR, do you leave, seek your own life and remain loyal to your children and supportive of the Mother of your Children?

Pretty obvious right? I wish I had known this 14 years ago but I was like so many of you youngsters chasing that settling down thing. No more stress about getting a date, no more looking, life could begin. It simply doesn't dudes, it simply doesn't work that way. Thank God am not one of those people, like so many of my friends, who will "stay for the kids". My parents did, now they are 70 and I wish they had pursued their dreams and been happier with their lives. Yet they get so excited when their kids get married, even though they secretly wish they hadn't. Fukcing retarded and fukcing 90% of cases.

 

[SeldomSeen]

RE:

Sart I know many, many men who try to find a good woman to marry ONLY to raise their kids not because they are head over heels in love. Perfect example: Sports stars. Many basketball, football, baseball players have average looking wives but most of their wives are homebodies, some college education etc. You wont see NBA players or what not marrying someone from a strip club but they will date those girls outside of their marriage. So again I think men look for women who they feel will be a good mother to their future family and women do the same at times.

 

[CLOONEY]

I will read this entire post later (bookmarked now), off to QLD right now.

 

[The DomMega]

Its simple, people get married young because they feel it validates their existence. Or its out of wedlock, either way its stupid. I don't care if you think you're "in love" or not, its just not a wise decision. Society tells us that we need to go to school, get good grades, get a degree, get a safe secure job, and get married. Those are typically the stepping stones for how things are done. And when these youngbucks today don't do that they're ridiculed unjustly and made to feel like a failure. "Wow, Joey, I can't believe you're 25 and not married or have a girlfriend in your life." You know what, **** YOU! Its often that we find the people closest to us wanting us to "symp" with these girls, kiss their ass, constantly buy them **** and eventually get married. Because why? Thats how they did it, so I should do the same.

No, I prefer to challenge their so-called reality and carry different ideas as to what happiness should be. The majority of married people I know, whether married young or older are unhappy. And I won't even get into how many of those couples are still faithful to one another, thats another topic entirely. Fact is, I don't plan on ever settling down with anyone. I don't have the patience. I don't want to have to ask my wife if I can go hang out with my buddies or if I can go on vacation with the homies somewhere. Thats not the way it is, I do what I want, when I want, how I want, where I want. Women don't control me and the divorce rate in this country is at about 54%. Why the **** would I want to get married in this day and age? Its pointless.

The only reason I see to getting married is having kids, and even children can be overated in some instances, hehe. Either way, you should live your life one day at a time, don't listen to what everyone tells you, and make decisions based on what you believe is right, not what somebody tells you is right.

-The DomMega

 

[Sart]

dom ega

Mate, I checked your age and you are 25. You figured all this by age 25. I agree almost completely with everything you said BUT I was one of those symp asss fools who did live the formula.

Infidelity? Great point. Of the 46% of marriages (including the old), closer to only 22% of marriages that last, what exactly are the stats on infidelity? I dont know many men who haven't had some on the side and a fair few women as well, but they are less likely to tell me.

The only thing I disagree on is the kids thing. I do enjoy my Children and wouldn't swap them for the World, BUT, YES, I could have lived without having kids I guess. But the species does need to survive.

Anyway, wish I knew what you know when I was 25. My marriage had a couple of good years but having to compromise really cost me a lot....especially in business.

You are a winner dude, and I say that without any prior knowledge of you. As for Clooney...email me dude and we can perhaps hook up. Im up here in QLD right now, hopefully I can talk you out of marrying that HB9 you are keen as mustard on. cjbegetalife@yahoo.com.au dude.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

I don't think it's logical to have kids and then split them with the mother.It's one of the reason the world is so fvcked nowadays.

I agree with this thread though,I don't care if you're in love or think you're in love. You should wait and spread out and see what else the world has to offer. How can it be that you KNOW that they're aren't other women that can compete with this woman you are with?

How do you know you can't love someone else,or love them just as much,or possibly love someone even more?

You see I think you can be in love or lust or like at an early age.And that's one of the parts of life.If god didn't want us to fall in love then he wouldn't have given us that emotion.

The thing is though don't limit yourself ..even if you are 40 years old and married with 4 kids.You are still young and you're only missing out on meeting the tons of new women there are out there.

I think honestly after a certain age(Late-30's-40's most likley) I would settle down with a woman I love and want to have kids But I don't think I'd ever stop looking for more,you know?Eventually age would catch up to me.

I think the people here should know that if you feel like that then you're only hurting yourself in trying to supress that. It's only natural to feel love for a woman,to catch feelings. That might be frowned upon but you'd be gay if you didn't feel something for a woman now wouldn't you?We aren't animals we are human beings,we don't just want sex.Cuz if we did we'd all just pay for it and keep it moving. We all want sex and the other.

I think it's perfectually natural to be with your lil' girlfreinds and want to get married.Just don't be limit yourself or jump the gun before you're ready like Sart said.

 

[The DomMega]

Thanks for the compliments, they are appreciated. I actually came to this conclusion some time ago. I'd be unable to give you an exact age, but I've thought this way for years. I'm mostly just an observer of my environment and developing trends within society as a whole. That and I listen to a lot of Too $hort, the guy's practically raised me himself through his music since I was in 7th grade, hehe.

And I'm not saying people shouldn't have children, I mostly just meant to say that they're more of an acquired taste I suppose. I'm sure the majority of people that have children love them, there's no question in my mind. I just don't see them in my particular future, just like I don't see a wife.

 

[dietzcoi]

Great post, Sart.

I have been preaching along these lines for years but nobody will listen.

Yes, I swallowed the lies of society and family and got married at 24. Ended in disaster, I may never recover financially...ever.

You are 100% correct but I am waiting for the God squad who usually attack me to find this post and go after you. Believe me, there are many on this site.

Dietzcoi

 

[Sart]

detzcoi

Yeah, I have been waiting for the God squad to come in and attack as well. They are searching for that elusive myth and there is simply no saving them. Sometimes I wonder if it is I.Q.? I dont know, but I do wonder.

I am not attacking their belief in God, hell, one of my closest friends is a Pastor, he is actually coming over for dinner tomorrow night. I just dont think that this whole marriage thing has anything to do with their belief, I think it is societal conditioning. Hell, from my knowledge of Christ he was a left wing radical, I dont think he would be hangin with the Sunday morning tea and cookies crowd at the local Church. It was THESE EXACT PEOPLE (the Church going conservatives) who crucified him. ****, he would be hangin with junkies, hookers and have tats and speak direct and buck the system and these cretins would crucify him all over agan.

The God squad, religion of all forms, seem to cause most of the friggin problems we have. Realness was right about kids, but I dont think the broken home is the issue, its the bad broken home that is. If the parents still love and take care of the kids, they are better off with happy/separated parents, than with angry, suplicating, frustrated parents. This is my theory anyway. As a Dad, my job is to welcome my son to manhood and make my daughter feel loved. Does that mean I should spend the rest of my days unhappy? WHY?

Anyway, yes we agree and yes, I was expecting an atack from the God squad as well.

 

[Wyldfire]

The problem with getting married is that too many people get married for the wrong reasons, too quickly or to someone they don't have a marriage-worthy relationship with. If two people have problems prior to getting married, those problems only become significantly worse after marriage. If two people get married after only knowing each other for 6 months or a year or so...they don't know each other well enough. If the two people haven't developed a true friendship in their relationship, there will be problems.

You should only consider marriage if all of the following are true:

1. You consider the other person your best friend.

2. You are fully aware of each other's flaws and accept them as is without having the wish or belief that they will change.

3. You don't resolve conflict by screeching, blaming each other or hurting each other's feelings.

4. You communicate well and share similar values or have a plan for dealing with areas of importance where values differ.

5. You genuinely love each other. (Not just "in-love" or infatuated.)

6. You're both satisfied with the frequency and quality of sex with each other.

7. You don't have a lot of disagreements and arguments over money issues.

8. You really respect and value each other.

9. You genuinely enjoy being in each other's company.

10. You trust each other and are committed to the relationship.

I'm sure there's more, but that's a good start.


Marriage between the right two people at the right time in their lives is a very good and positive thing. Marriage between the wrong people at the wrong time is a bad experience looking for a place to happen. While people shouldn't rule the possibility of getting married out, they certainly need to go about the decision more wisely than most people do in this day and age.

 

[myfriendblu]

Im with you brothers on the no marriage thing!!!! Im in my mid 20's myself and i just don't see it happening. Being a business player i look at it from a business angle - marriage is a business contract and its a contract i don't find fair or want to sign. Now before all you bible thumping dorks come in yapping about pre - nups and stuff, guess what? I don't wanna pay alimony either. And the equity my house makes after she moves in? I don't wanna give that up either. I don't wanna be responsible for her if she gets into credit trouble or claims bankrupsy. Basically, I don't wanna ever go threw the hassle of a divorce. i don't wanna ever spend one single dime or one single minute with a lawyer in divorce court. I don't wanna do it and Im not gonna do it.

 

[Paintballguy]

Nice post. I agree with everything.

I don't see why some people rush to get married. Personally, I'm not gonna think about marriage until I am in my 30's.

 

[arq-dj1]

marriage... yeah... pretty hard stuff to understand

im cristian, and tecnically (lol) im catolic, but yet i desagree a lot with a bunch of things that is said as true fact in this religion...

considering my formation (economics, sociology), i have strong arguments considering why or what was the porpouse of the creation of marriage... in a socialogical point of view...

i can understand that god blesses 2 humans who want to spend their lifes together, cuz its f**** hard to do that... u gotta have courage...

but why tha **** god would care if i had sex before marriage? i mean, wtf?
what is the sole porpouse of only having sex after marriange?

why jesus didn't talked about that stuff while he was here?



so, my point is, there are things that were created to perpetuate a method of money acumulation (marriage), stoping any chances of undesired babies with different families... that would separate the $$ equally to all children....