Age difference...

[Dorian]

OK guys, first of all .... love your work!

2nd... help!

After a couple of rebound relationships, I've just spent a couple of years "time-out" after separating from ex, which is all good - needed the time to come to terms with how my life is different, etc.

Anyway, thing is I actually look a good 10 years younger than I actually am, but I'm still sort of working out what my target age range is (talking comfort zone!)... Looking at what's been written re the 30-something range, I'm sort of back-tracking on whether that's it...

Now crux of it... given I'm 40, I don't know I'm comfortable pursuing mid 20's, though I feel like I'm getting lots of positive non-verbal signals at the dance classes I've recently taken up. Basically, I don't want to sh1t in my kennel, to put it plainly... cause I do enjoy this place on a non-"target"-oriented level.

Comments, words from the wise... anyone?

 

[joekerr31]

age doesnt mean anything.

life is short. if you meet a woman that gets your pulse racing, move forward. it may not last forever but youll have a good memory from it.

who cares what society things. society is full of bullsh*t anyway. its your life, do what you want.

J

 

[Dorian]

Age diff.. again

Thanks joekerr31, appreciate that.

Just been dislodging whatever's been stuck up my shakra 'bout age for the last few months - think I'm finally there!

Honestly, there are sooooo many cute lassies at the dance lessons I'm going to: I can NOT impress enough how great this avenue is - I mean its a really evocative environment and there seem to be so many attractive, SINGLE women (that you are required to put your hands on!). Think they've figured its a better bet than getting rat-ar$ed at clubs or pubs.

OK, now I've conquered the age issue (in my mind where it always was!), still don't want to risk smelling up the kennel....

Anyone else got any advice, preferably on how to play it cool enough so if things don't go OK one's rep doesn't get sh1t-canned (they ALL talk and we know it!)?

Cheers for now

 

[Lost In Translation]

if you like the dance class as is just enjoy the dance class

pimp elsewhere

age is no barrier

women despite what crap western women preach do like older men

stay out of night clubs = drugged out wh0res

if i was 40 my age range would be 18 - 24

buy double your dating ebook and digest

read Don Juan bible best free info on the net

get your game sharp and you can pick up women anywhere

most me fall into thinking must be club/pub with alcohol involved

best way to score a wh0re but if you are after quality they are not to be found there

make friends with some men who are maybe early thirties that way you are getting into chicks who date men that age through their social circles

stay away from drama and women who have alot of baggage

stay away from married women

chicks with boyfriends are ok

best of luck


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

" stop being insecure " i hate that saying. it's a cop out for not having enough balls to confront a woman about what she is doing THAT IS WRONG or potentially damaging to a long term relationship. – Lost In Translation

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

As always, my first advice is Spin More Plates. Pursue women in a variety of age ranges and sample from the largest pool possible. I think 18 might be a stretch (though I've seen it done) but certainly 21 (drinking age) to 29 would easily be within a 40 y.o.s striking distance. I would advise against the over 30s and avoid sinlge/divorced mommies like the plague. You're 40, you don't need to be anyone's saviour or martyr and if you're coming out of an LTR at your age it's a well deserved privilige to get after the 20s pool of women. I'm sure you realize the limitations women in these catagories represent.

Enjoy yourself, and understand that you have a distinct advantage with younger women at this stage. You've already gone through what they're about to in their 20s and 30s, you know what their likely reactions will be to certain experiences exclusive to this stage of life; make preparations for them accordingly and respond to them with foreknowledge. One thing mature guys always say is how they would've done things differently in their youth with the wisdom they posess now - this is your opportunity to come as close to this as you're likely to in a lifetime.

And above all, don't fall into the 30 something women's expectations/entitlement trap. The most heat you're likely to take for dating younger wont come from the 20 somethings; it will come from women in their nesting phase of life (i.e.30s to 40s) in the form of shame or guilt. They'll express how 'immature men are' of your age for wanting to date younger women or tell you how 'fragile men's egoes are' for some mixed up Freudian desire to recapture thier youth with women half their age in preference to committing to 'real women' such as themselves, as they believe is should be your duty or to prove you really are "different from other men."

You don't owe them anything, avoid this demographic entirely. If their single in their mid-thirties it's likely there's a good reason they are so. Don't knuckle under to this mythology and don't even consider an LTR with even the 20 y.o.s until YOU are ready and you've connected with a woman that regards you as the PRIZE.

 

[Gipper]

Wow. It's like Rollo read my mind (although it's obvious these are his original thoughts); I couldn't put it any better than that.

Gipper

 

[Bonhomme]

I third Rollo. Except not all 30-40s single moms are like he characterizes them. The worst, I've found, are the childless 30somethings who are desperately seeking a sperm donor. Beware of those.

If anybody has a problem with age difference for a 20something person and a youngish 40 person, it's their problem, not yours.

 

[Dorian]

Hey Guys,

Thanks for all your feedback... much appreciated. Rollo you're so right - it is all the 30/40somethings' attitudes that I've had the bug up my ar$e about... Well and truly dislodged now! Re: 18 might be a stretch - well I actually pashed one (probably 19 actually) on the dancefloor a number of weeks ago, so not that out of the stratosphere. When she said her Mum was picking her up, that sort of sobered me up LOL! I went no further even tho I got her # she was only a 6 retrospectively (7 tequila slammers + beer goggles!)

Anyway, on the dance scene, I figure I'm just going to try discretion being the best part of valour. Damn, each week there are just more and more 8s! Going away with a whole load of them weekend after next, so cross fingers I won't undo anything!

Re "One thing mature guys always say is how they would've done things differently in their youth with the wisdom they posess now - this is your opportunity to come as close to this as you're likely to in a lifetime." you couldn't be more right!

I've paid my dues in the wilderness - but, right now, its great to be me!

Thanks heaps again and all the best!

 

[Ricky]

Style did very well with younger woman.

He did it by not caring. It doesn't matter that you are older. Focus on the advantages of being older as have been noted.

In fact after reading the Inner Game of Work as I'll reference in my thread, you basically have to realize that limitations are all coming from the critical voice. Timoth Gallwey got people to focus very specifically on the skills necessary for tennis, without having the critical voice interfering. He documents this in the Inner Game of Tennis (which I also have)

It is amazing and rather freeing to get rid of this overanalytical and critical voice.!

First step is awareness it exists.

 

[Lesson4u]

I echo the sentiments of my fellow forum members here.

Furthermore, "40" is the new "30". With all of the advancements is health, middle-age is actually about 50 y.o. now. People are getting married in their thirties more often in your target demographic. Therefore, if you are close to 20 years older than your date, it is no longer applicable to say you are a "father figure".

Forty is a great age to be for meeting women. You have many more options than someone in their 20's. Your age range could be 20-50.

If you look younger, work out, dress stylish and have a "young" attitude, there are virtually no limits on your options. Don't let social conditioning dictate your attitude. Your experience and gravitas in the dating world should be used to your advantage, not create doubt.

Our clients are mainly in the 25-45 y.o. range. When we hit the bars/clubs for field training, there are no boundaries that our 35-45 y.o. clients must overcome vs. our 25-35 y.o. clients.

GL.......................Lesson